Chapter twenty-two
It's been 2 days and I have yet to tell Kelley about the therapist I might go see. It mostly got pushed back because Christies kids came in yesterday, and Kelley has practically turned into a little kid.
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Kelley pov
I was playing with Reece and her stuffed animals in the dinning hall, when she just kinda stopped and curiously looked at me.
"What are those?" she asked pointing at me. "What are you talking about?" kinda confused at her broad question.
"Those." she stated, and she reached over and touched my wrist. I looked down at them, and realized that you could visibly see my scars on my wrist. I knew I had to come up with something, and she was small, so I need to make sure that I put it a way she understood.
"Well I can tell you, but I need Rylie over here also so she can also know." Reece ran off and soon her and Rylie were sitting in front of me.
"Why did Reece come get me aunt Kelley?" asked curious. "Well Reece wanted to know what these lines on my wrist were, so I decided that I would tell both of you guys at the same time."
"okay." she said slowly nodding her head.
I looked down and started hopefully a good explanation. "Well I guess you could call them battle scars."
"battle scars?" Rylie asked confused.
"Yeah battle scars. You remember when aunt Ashlyn went away for a long time?" both of there little heads nodded. "Well you see when she left I got really sad."
"We were all sad aunt Kelley!" Reece pronounced loudly. I patted her leg and started up again. "Yeah I know everyone was sad, but I was sadder than most. Me and aunt Ashlyn were really close, and when she left it felt like she took my heart with me."
I looked up for a minute and made sure that the girls were following along, but among that I saw about a dozen bigger eyes looking at me explaining my scars.
"Like I said after she left I felt like she took my heart with her. After that I started doing things that were bad for my body."
"Like what? " Reece asked curiously "You look fine right now."
"well I've gotten better since then. What happened was I started not to eat, and when you don't eat your body starts to get really tired, and makes you not want to do anything. And you how some big kids drink big kid drinks?"
"yesss" both of them replying at the same time.
"Well I started drink alot of Big kids drinks. One after another until I would just lay on my couch."
"Aunt Kelley what are those on your wrist?" Reece asked impatiently. "You have yet to tell us."
Laughing I responded, "I'm getting there munchkin. When I figured out that drinking those big kids drinks, and not eatting weren't helping be happy I decided to hurt myself. I would hurt myself on purpose to hopefully make me feel better."
"did it make you feel better?" Rylie asked.
"for a little but yes, but then I would feel sad again until I did it again. I'm getting better though because aunt Carli, aunt Ashlyn, your mommy, and the rest of the team is helping me."
I pulled up my shorts, and showed them more of my scars. "If any one of you guys every feel sad or angry I want you to tell someone. I never want to see either one of you with scars like this. I have scars like this because I was scared to talk to your mommy, or one of your aunts. One more thing if you ever see someone with scars like this, I abousloutly do not want to see or hear about one of you judging them, because you have no clue what they are going through. Do you guys understand me?"
"yes aunt Kelley." they both replied. The next thing I knew I was wrapped up into a hug made by two little girls. "I love you" I whispered into their ears. "we love you too aunt Kelley."
"Now girls why don't you go play, I think you mommy wants to talk to me."
The girls ran off, and I made it to the little group of people who decided to eavesdrop on the conversation.
"little hypercrites making sure the little tiny people don't over hear conversations, and here y'all are doing it yourself!" I stated chuckling.
Abby looked over, "Well we had to make sure that you weren't helping them take over the world or in this case the chocolate bowl."
"what!" I gasped. "I would never in the world do that."
"Keep dreaming Squrrel," Ashlyn replied while sticking out her tounge.
Christie decided to pipe up. "If you girls would mind I would like to talk to Kelley in privite for a minute."
The girls left and the next thing I knew me and Christie were standing in a corner of the dinning hall alone.
"You didn't have to tell them the truth," she started.
"I had to. I needed to. I wanted to let them know that it's okay to talk to somebody if they are angry or sad. They needed to know that what I did they never need to do. They needed to know that there are so many more diffrent ways to deal with something, then what I did. I love them with all my heart, and I never want to see them go through what I did."
Christie rubbed my arms. "I also see way they look at you. They are in awe of you. They love you so much Kelley. I'm really happy you told them, because I hope if they never listen to anybody that they will listen to you. And maybe one day if something like what happened to you, happens to them, they will come to one of us for help. Until then we just have to keep steering them in the right direction."
All I could do was smile. I love hearing that the girls looked up to me the most.
I hugged Christie. As we broke apart we heard Jill saying that lunch was here so we needed to go get it.
All I could think was if I can help at least one person in my life I will be okay.