Chapter 21
Lexa sits in her private jet on the way back to Chicago and thinks about everything that happened this evening. Her emotions have cooled down a little but she still feels that burning sadness and disappointment inside of her. She doesn’t want to talk to anyone about anything. She just wants to go back to work, so she can get Clarke out of her head. The blonde calls her a few times, leaves messages saying she was sorry and that she just wants to talk but Lexa ignores them. She doesn’t know what to say to her.
After two days Clarke eventually stopped messaging and calling her. Lexa doesn’t know if that’s what she actually wanted but she tries not to think about her anymore. A few more days pass and it happened when Lexa was sitting at home, finishing a contract she has to submit by Monday, that’s when she realised that all of this was simply ridiculous. They could still work everything out! She needs to act now and not sit here like a dumbass letting the beautiful life she built slip through her fingers. She gets up, puts clothes on and gets on the next plane heading towards L.A. Her heart beats so fast she is afraid it will explode any minute as she is driving from the airport to Clarke’s apartment. This is crazy. Totally crazy. But sometimes you have to be out of your god damn mind to make things alright. She walks up the stairs and stands in front of Clarke’s door. The brunette hesitates for a second to really ring the bell but she closes her eyes and goes for it. It takes a while but she can hear steps coming towards the door, Lexa’s heart beats even faster than before.
The door opens and Clarke stands right in front of her. It takes a few seconds until the blonde woman realises who is standing in front of her.
“oh… well look who’s here.” She says in a rather moody voice.
“Clarke…” Lexa begins softly and she can already feel how her eyes fill with tears. “I’m so sorry… I really am. I shouldn’t have left you and I should’ve contacted you so we can talk about it.”
“yeah, you should have.” Clarke replies coldly.
“Can I come in?” Lexa asks. Clarke just steps aside so Lexa could enter.
“So, you think you can just show up after two weeks of nothing and everything will be back to normal?” Clarke wants to know.
Lexa lowers her gaze and shakes her head “No, but I hoped you wanted to work it out and try to get closer to each other again.”
“I don’t know Lexa…” When she heard that, her heart stopped beating for a few seconds.
“Please, I promise it won’t happen again.” Says Lexa with a breaking voice because she was on the edge of tears.
“I can’t be together with someone who just disappears on me whenever there’s a serious problem between us. I need you to trust me and be there for me.”
“I will! I promise I will work on it.” Lexa answers fast.
“Well…okay I will think about it. I don’t want to be rude but I’d actually like to be alone right now.” Clarke says.
“Okay… no problem.” Lexa replies walking slowly towards the door.
Clarke opens the door for her but smiles at her before she says “Let’s just take it slow okay?” Lexa smiles back and nods before walking down the stairs.
Clarke closes the door not knowing what to think about that. She doesn’t even know if they are still together or not. Are you still dating someone if they just disappear for two weeks after a fight? She loves Lexa that’s no question but the way she behaved and the way she looked at her when she said that one stupid thing made her be afraid of her actually. She knows Lexa is a lone wolf and she prefers actions over words but Clarke wants someone who is always there even when things get tough and then there’s the thing with Nilah. She didn’t tell Lexa something happened between her and Nilah because she knew it wouldn’t help at all. Technically they weren’t even together so it’s none of Lexa’s business who warms her bed when she decides to just run off and disappear on her.
The two women spend the next few days texting each other just talking about shallow things. Lexa sometimes asks if Clarke has already made up her mind but Clarke doesn’t have an answer yet. She knows that Lexa grows a little impatient but she needs to be really sure if they got back together. Of course Lexa had to fly back to Chicago after two days but when Clarke asked if they could just spend the evening together the following weekend Lexa flew back to L.A. immediately. Lexa really is dedicated when she really wants something you gotta leave her that. When the brunette rang the doorbell she was insanely nervous. Maybe this was the evening things would finally go back to normal. How much more time could she possibly need to answer this one simple question.
Clarke opens the door and gives Lexa this smile she loves so much, it never failed to make her heart jump up and down in her chest. The tall woman enters the apartment and whistles impressed.
“What?” Clarke asks.
“You actually cleaned the WHOLE apartment. Where’s the real Clarke Griffin and what have you done with her?” Lexa jokes.
Clarke giggles and shrugs “Well, people change you know?” Lexa doesn’t really know what to do with that comment but just raises one eyebrow before she takes off her jacket and sits down on the couch.
“I thought we just watch a few movies if that’s okay. I’m a bit exhausted from work.”
“Sure”
So Clarke puts on Netflix and starts the movie “The Conjuring”. That’s her favourite horror movie. Lexa never understood why people watch movies on purpose to get scared but she doesn’t comment on it. Sometimes Clarke would wrap her hands around her upper arm when there’s a scary scene or hide her face in Lexa’s neck quickly but then sitting back down after she realised what she just did out of reflex and tries to cover it up with an awkward cough. When the movie was over Clarke jumps up and pours them a glass with what seems to be clear liquor and when Lexa drank it she coughed for a few seconds.
“What the hell is that?”
“Barcardi Razz. It’s good isn’t it?”
“Yeah, that’s one way to put it.” Lexa answers but downs the whole thing and pours herself another one.
Clarke sees that out of the corner of her eyes and just smiles. She knows where this is gonna end. While the second movie is playing Clarke decides to play a little bit with Lexa. She leans against her shoulder and kinda cuddles with her. On Lexa’s face she can see that there’s going on inside of the brunette. She goes even one step further and places her hand on Lexa’s thigh. Clarke feels how Lexa’s muscles tense immediately.
Clarke has been driving her crazy all night but she isn’t sure if it’s okay for her to touch her yet. Maybe the blonde just wants to test her patience but she’s not sure how much longer she manages to just sit there next to this beautiful woman who just keeps playing with her.
“Do you want another glass?” Clarke asks.
“Yes, please.” Lexa replies.
At least when she holds the glass her hands are busy and she doesn’t need to hold herself back that much anymore. After a few seconds she feels Clarke’s eyes on her and looks over to her.
“What?” she asks confused.
“Oh nothing. It’s just cute to see you that tensed.”
“Pff.. what? I’m not tensed. Why should I?” Lexa says like she doesn’t know what the other woman is talking about.
“Hmm.. alright then. I’m probably wrong then.” Clarke admits and hands Lexa her glass while her fingers brush unnecessarily along the back of Lexa’s hand.
She closes her eyes for a few seconds and takes a deep breath, she hears Clarke giggle under her breath while she takes a sip of her drink. Clarke continues to do subtle things like reaches for the remote who lays on a small table next to Lexa, so she leans over her so that their faces get so close they could have kissed without a problem but the blonde just takes the remote and sits back down. Lexa can’t take much more of that. After the second movie is about half over she thinks her muscles gonna be so sore tomorrow because she’s been tensing them for the past 30 minutes without a break.
As Clarke gets up to get something from the kitchen Lexa’s eyes follow her and watch her perfectly shaped ass shaking a bit because of the movement of her hips as she walks out of the room. That was the last straw. Lexa feels herself getting up too and following her. She doesn’t even know if she willingly decides what her body is doing right now. All she knows is that she follows Clarke, downs the rest of her liquor and puts the glass down on the counter. Clarke just opened the door of the fridge to get something out of it but Lexa closes it for her and then just stands there.
“What are you doing?” Clarke asks.
“I could ask you that.”
“I don’t know what you mean” Clarke defends herself.
“You know damn well what I’m talking about, Clarke.” Lexa answers and her voice becomes raspier when she says that. The brunette comes a little closer but Clarke doesn’t move.
“No, I think you need to explain yourself.” The blonde woman replies before she bites her lip and looks up into Lexa’s eyes.
That’s when she knew she won. The tall woman’s eyes darken as her pupils widen up and Clarke feels this electricity between them. The calm before the storm.
Lexa grabs Clarke’s waist and pulls her in for a kiss but that kiss took Clarke’s breath away. It was like she has been starving and Lexa’s lips were the only thing that could feed her hunger. Both of them start moaning immediately and Clarke feels Lexa’s hands on her back, her waist, her ass, her breasts. Her brain drowned in that feeling and wipes any other thought from her mind.
“Please Lexa…” Clarke whimpers in between a kiss.
The brunette stops for a second breathing heavily “What, Prisa?”
“Just take me Lexa… make me yours again.” Clarke replies because she can’t hold back anymore.
She wants Lexa, all of her. That must have broken down the last barrier inside of Lexa. She lifted Clarke on the kitchen counter and not took her shirt off but simply ripped it apart before she takes her own shirt off. Everything that was on the counter falls down and clashes onto the floor.
“Fuck!” Clarke moans loudly as she feels Lexa’s muscles underneath her fingers and her muscular back being wet from sweat.
Lexa takes off Clarke’s pants and underwear, so the blonde is completely naked. Lexa starts rubbing her between her legs which makes her already bite into Lexa’s shoulder and pull her closer. She has her eyes closed so she doesn’t see how Lexa drops to her knees but when she felt her hot tongue down there she released a moan so loud and wanting it felt like a relief. She could feel how Lexa’s tongue spins around and reaches every spot that makes the blonde woman shiver and moan. She claws her fingers into Lexa’s hair and pulls hardly on it but she doesn’t care. Lexa stops and comes up again and lets Clarke kiss her again.
“You taste so good babygirl…” she says with such a dark voice. “Tell me what you want me to do next.” She demands.
“Heda… I want you to fuck me.” Clarke mumbles
“I couldn’t hear you princess. Say that a little louder”
“Please fuck me heda! Please I want it so bad from you!” Clarke almost yells and in this moment Lexa pushes two of her long and slim fingers as deep as possible into the blonde and all she does is moan and beg for more. Lexa continues to fuck her so deep, fast and good Clarke almost loses consciousness for a few seconds. Lexa knows exactly what to do to her to make her melt like a puddle underneath her fingers. The brunette curls up her fingers inside of Clarke, which makes her throw her head back and scream Lexa’s name over and over again while her pussy tightens around Lexa’s fingers and her wetness is dripping down her hand and wrist. She stays a few more seconds inside of her pussy before she pulls her fingers out and shoves them into Clarke’s mouth for her to suck them. Lexa watches her doing so with a tiny smile on her face.
After both of them caught their breath they just look at each other knowing that there was never a moment in which they weren’t in love with each other and that no matter what might be coming, they will always be together because, even if it probably only happens once in a thousand years, they were made for each other.
They have loved each other in thousands of lives before this and will continue to do so for many thousand lives after this one.