Afterwards

They’d tried to find a place to be alone. After everything, there was no place without an audience, whether it was reporters or just people who knew who they were. They’d tried to leave town, but people in the next few towns over knew who they were too, so that ended up being out of the question entirely. Noah was scared of the woods, and the lake, which Audrey couldn’t really blame him for. So they were off limits. And most of the abandoned buildings held untold horrors, or bad memories. Needless to say, there weren’t many options. They’d found one spot though, a beautiful, well-lit field of flowers at the bottom of a hill out in the middle of nowhere. The two of them had taken to laying on the side of the hill and looking up at the sky. They rarely said anything. If they did, it was a rule that only good, happy things could be said. Or, at least, they couldn’t talk about death, or particularly sad things. Nostalgia, even regret, had seeped in at times, but never sadness or fear. That simply wasn’t allowed.
And so they’d gone out there on that particular day because a girl named Gina had tried to worm her way in with Audrey. It’d become very obvious that she wasn’t interested in Audrey so much as the idea of dating the hero of Lakewood, and maybe even getting a nice little sum for her story when they broke up. It was, in Audrey’s own words, “fucked up and shitty beyond belief, seriously who does that kind of thing?” Noah was inclined to agree with her, but in less descriptive words. But he’d determined the best course of action was to get Audrey out of there, and take her somewhere to calm down. The field had seemed like the best place.
That’s why they were there, lying side by side in the grass on the hill, staring up at the sky without actually saying anything about what that girl had done, how upset Audrey was, how awful things were in general, how both of them were wondering if they could ever have a normal relationship with someone ever again. Audrey buried her head in Noah’s shoulder for a minute, before turning back to the sky.
“I want to leave this town as soon as I can. As soon as school ends for the summer I want to leave and never come back. I want to go somewhere else and start a new life, leaving everything people think they know, the girl everyone thinks I am here.”
“You’d have to come back. Senior year is kind of important.”
“No, I wouldn’t. I could find a job, get some work, maybe finish school online and figure out a way to get into film school. I could manage for myself.”
There was a long pause. They both knew what the other was thinking.
“It’d be a lot easier if you came with me.” She shifted, pulling herself up onto her elbow so that she could see Noah’s face, which looked pensive.
“I want to finish school. I wouldn’t mind transferring, but it would be easier to finish it here. It’s only a year more. And I’ve been working with Stavo on our book. I want to continue with that. And I can’t do that if I’m not here.”
“Then let’s bring Brooke and Stavo with us. Brooke wants to go to New York anyway, I’d be cool with that, or at least somewhere near there. Maybe you and I could go to Boston, that’d be cool. There’s a ton of colleges there too, some of the best schools in the country.”
“And your mother?” Noah added knowingly.
Audrey sighed. “Maybe that’s part of it, but that honestly wasn’t what I was thinking. Just…think about it. We could live our lives there, visit New York on the weekends, and no one would know who we are, no one would care like they do here. We could just be us.”
Noah grinned. “Boston would be awesome. Seriously. But I want to stay here for senior year. The minute we graduate, I’ll go with you to Boston.”
Audrey sighed. “Why do you have to be the voice of reason?”
Noah laughed. “Because no one else in our friend group is willing to think like a normal human being.”
“Fair enough.” She sighed again. “I still want to leave town this summer. Road trip or something. I don’t know, I don’t care, I just want to get out.”
“I’m cool with that,” Noah said, “as long as it’s not too expensive.”
“We can split costs, share beds, sleep in the car if we have to.”
Noah reached over Audrey and grabbed her hand, pulling it over, wrapping Audrey around him. He nodded as Audrey settled her head on his chest and let her hand rest on his shoulder. “Yeah, I think this could work. Nice and comfy.”
He knew he’d probably just crossed a line, but the line he’d crossed was blurry and messy and one they never spoke about. Audrey hadn’t complained though, so he figured she must have been willing to let that one slide. He couldn’t understand with her sometimes. Each day the line got blurrier, and she’d cross the line more often than he would some days.
In her defense, Audrey didn’t understand it either. She tried not to think about it. It made her head spin in an uncomfortable way. Just being around Noah did the trick sometimes. Everything got warm and fuzzy. He just felt safe. He was home for her, at this point. But she couldn’t let him too close. He was already too close. It was a difficult balance for her.
Then Noah said something neither of them was expecting. “What about Emma?” The comment was filled with a surprising amount of malice. Both of them cringed.
“What about Emma?” Audrey said roughly, rolling off of Noah.
“I didn’t mean…I just meant, is she coming with us on this excursion? Is she coming to Boston with us? Are you going to offer or…?” He trailed off, but the question was there. Audrey was glad he hadn’t voiced it.
“Emma and I are…complicated right now. She might be one of the things I want to get away from. She might not…I don’t know. She’s just…a reminder of every bad point in my life, every mistake I’ve ever made, all of the pain I’ve been through. And she expects me to support her through everything, every little thing! I love that girl to death, but sometimes I can’t deal with her!”
Audrey took a deep breath and fell harshly back into the grass. “Let’s not think about Emma right now.”
Noah just nodded, taking her hand in his. Then, without allowing himself any time to overthink, he rolled over and pecked her quickly on the lips, not letting the kiss linger, or waiting for a response.
“Noah…” There was a nervousness in her voice.
“Call it an act of sympathy. To cheer you up. Or at least distract you.” He started to pull his hand out of her limp one, knowing his excuse was lame, and sure he’d crossed way too far over the line, but she held onto his hand gently.
He opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it.
He couldn’t tell if Audrey was smiling or not, whether everything was ok or if he’d just made a fool of himself yet again.
Finally, he said, “I’m just afraid you’ll leave without me, go off and leave me behind. Maybe you’d be happy without me, off somewhere else.”
“Hey, come on, no sadness on our little hill of happiness,” she teased. “I could never be happier without you. You’re kind of the only thing keeping me from losing my goddamn mind right now. I don’t think I could survive without you, let alone be happy.”
They fell into a happy little silence.
After a while, the sound of a car pulling up the road broke their little bubble. Audrey’s head flew up, instincts kicking in. She let out a huge sigh and fell back into the grass when she saw whose car it was. “Looks like the gang’s all here. Emma just pulled up, and I think I saw Brooke and Stavo in the back.”
Noah laughed. “And so our Fortress of Solitude is destroyed.”
“We really shouldn’t have told them about this place,” Audrey muttered as a car door slammed from down the road.
Emma glanced up the hill. “Yeah, they’re here alright. Let’s go pick them up and grab some food. I want to make sure Audrey’s ok after everything that happened today.”
Brooke followed Emma’s gaze, and grinning at how close the two on the hill were. “I think she’s fine. You know, maybe we shouldn’t go break up their little moment.” By the time she looked back at Emma, she was already halfway to the hill. “Too late then.”
Stavo came up behind her and wrapped his arm around her waist. “What’re you thinking babe?”
“I’m not sure yet, but don’t you think Audrey and Noah have been…extra touchy feely recently? I sense a romance of some sort, or maybe just some unrequited love.”
“Playing matchmaker again?” Stavo said with a chuckle.
“Hey, I’m good at it!”
“That you are. Noah and Zoe would have been very happy if Zoe hadn’t ended up dead.”
Brooke pulled away from him and headed after Emma. “Sometimes you are just too morbid, you know that?”
Stavo just shrugged and followed her.