Some days she sits by the windowsill. She sits there and watches Grace and James.
James leaning. Trying to sneak kiss. Grace teasing him with almost kisses before she pushes him back with a raise of her brow.
If Grace wasn’t so cold the two would be married.
She sees them in these moments and think that maybe they should marry.
James should be with who he loves.
Even if it isn’t her. She’ll move on. She’s used to it.
People leaving her, rejecting her, not wanting her. James doesn’t want her.
She’s probably not worth it then. Grace is worth it. Beatiful, talented, smart.
She turns away from the window. She’s to weak to keep looking. She’s always been weak.
At least that’s what her mother always says. Alastair doesn’t spend the time with her to tell her that, but if he did he would.
She heads over to her wardrobe and selects a dress. She has tea with Anna today.
(She sometimes wishes tea ment something other than plotting. But Anna would never want her.)