Kerene is dead. Her warder comes rushing in. Then, everyone, Liandrin is cut, bleeding from deep wounds that cannot be healed on my own. All my sisters, myself, my heart is dying, and I can just barely reach out with a whisper of my fingertips to Liandrin’s, then it's dark.
Time jumps to the lead-up to that moment.
I follow a few paces behind Liandrin, watching with a keen eye who she is approaching, seeing three horses, but one without its rider, the white one. I know it's Moiraine's horse, always been able to discern who’s horse belongs to who. Upon Liandrin stopping, I could hear her confirm my suspicions of who was approaching.
“Moiraine Sedai,”
“Liandrin Sedai,” Moiraine sounds weak, not at all like her usual fiery self.
“If you're here to help, you're too late,” Liandrin states. I still cannot see Moiraine and them as clearly as I would like, but I know she must have a puzzled look on her face for her to prompt what Liandrin says next.
“Oh, didn't you hear? We captured a man calling himself the Dragon Reborn.” I see Liandrin turn to face us, then back to Moiraine as if to catch the look that is going to appear on her face. I see her watching us approach, myself riding in front of the two warders, putting myself between them and Liandrin. She takes a glance at me first, shock painting her features, then her gaze shifting to the horses pulling a cage with a hunched-down man inside with Kerene and Alanna riding behind him with their focus on his shields. It appears as if she is trying to get a closer look at the man, almost with an ounce of recognition panting her features before it fades back into confusion and almost anger.
We make it back to our camp, allowing Moiraine to follow us, evident she requires healing. Lan ties up their horses while she gets escorted into a tent with Kerene following behind. I stand off in the distance with Liandrin and two other Red Ajah, turning when she does to cast an almost disgusted and mistrusting look onto Lan, my fellow sisters doing the same. I, however, don’t. Lan isn't a bad man or warder, I never felt the need to be on guard when he was around like I do the other warders and men in general, no matter how irritated it made Liandrin, I could never bring myself to hate a man as honest and devoted as Lan is.
I then see green movement out of the corner of my eye, Liadrin being the first to turn and the rest following to stare down at the unknown woman who rode in with Moiraine and Lan. She is standing up on the stone hedge, staring down at us, and frankly just making herself even more suspicious and out of place here.
Another Time Jump
I hear voices approaching the cave, Kerene explaining to Moiraine I suppose how only she, Alanna, and Liandrin are the only ones strong enough to shield him from using the One Power. How they still have to work in pairs. I swallowed my scoff, but the eye roll was still witnessed by Liandrin, who gave me a slight smirk, knowing I had been aiding her in regaining her strength to keep him shielded as well as being almost just as powerful as Liandrin, but no one except her knowing the truth.
I glance to see them approaching but never leave Liandrin’s side to greet them, instead focusing on using my power to read Liandrins strength to know when she has to take a break. I can tell it's approaching, but alas she is too stubborn to admit to it.
“Can he hear us?”, typical Moiraine, never one to greet us.
“Hello to you, too.” Alanna quips, causing Moiraine to look at her.
“We plugged his ears with weaves of air,” states Liandrin.
“I heard he conquered half of Ghealdan and had the king himself at his back. How did you get to him?” She starts walking to his cage. I see Liandrin almost roll her eyes as she glances at Alanna.
“A plan after your own heart. We crept into his camp and shielded him as he slept. A little lightning, and his army all ran home to their mothers.” I let out a little laugh at Liandrins quip of weak men.
“Let's hope so. I've set wards. They'll let us know if anyone approaches.” I appreciate Kerene’s protection, but I can feel myself being drawn closer to Liandrin, her body starting to tell mine that she needs a break and to rest.
“And the madness. How far gone is he?” It’s almost as if Moiraine is playing fifty questions, refusing to acknowledge that we may have captured the Dragon Reborn.
“He’s the same as any man who can channel, worse even. He actually proclaimed himself the Dragon and tried to march on the Tower. And we don't need a trial to mete out the proper punishment.” I can tell Liandrin is getting annoyed with Moiriane.
“The Amyrlin Seat commanded us to bring him to the tower for trial. She will decide what he deserves, not us.” Kerene, always the voice of reason. She then starts to call on her power, getting ready to take over for Liandrin.
“I’ve regained enough strength. Let me share the burden.” Moiraine states as she takes off her gloves. I finally look at her, still shocked to see her since it has been a while for me, but alas I say nothing, simply standing by Liandrin’s side.
“That’s Moiraine for you, selfless to a fault” I can hear the disdain dripping in Liandrin’s voice, but no one else catches on it.
“We can’t afford any gaps in the shield. Liandrin will wait to drop hers until yours is in place” As Kerene is explaining to her, I can see her glance at Liandrin, and Liandrin holding her eye contact until she turns around. It irks something in me, I hate to say that it’s a type of jealousy since I truly do not know what it is, but I know it created enough of a reaction out of me for Liandrin to give me a knowing look before she is back to focusing.
Liandrin grunts and my eyes snap to her, feeling the strain he was putting on her. Watching as she puts her head down to take a breath before standing, glancing at Moiraine before starting to walk away.
“You feel it now? That’s half his power.” She says as she walks off, not glancing to see if I am following her. Of course, I am, her power always calling to mine and vice versa, never really having to check if the other is close.
Small Time Jump
We make our way back to our private tent. I follow a half step behind Liandrin, not too close but not too far. Upon closing the flap, she turns on me and it makes me stop in my tracks. She gives me a curious look, almost studying me as she approaches.
“What was that back there?” She questions me.
“What was what?” I retorted.
“Oh do not play coy with me Y/N,” I can tell she is getting irritated, already irate due to Moiraine’s arrival.
“You know what I am talking about, you can’t hide from me when I can feel what you do. So I’m asking again, what was that?” I can tell she isn’t going to let it go, so I relinquish with a sigh and move to sit on the chair at the small table, her eyes following my every move.
“I honestly don’t know Lia. I guess I just didn’t like the look you and Moiraine exchanged, but I cannot find the words to describe it.” I sigh again, resting my head in my hand, gazing at the floor when suddenly a pair of boots make their way into my vision. I can feel her irritation slowly dissipate into understanding and that special feeling she only reserves for me. I sense her before I feel her hand on my chin, thumb rubbing as she pulls my head out of my hand to look at her as she stands between my legs, encouraging me to wrap my arms around her waist.
“You know I only hold this feeling for you my love right? That the past is in the past and that I have never had the connection that we share. I thought I’d never let someone fill the empty spot where a warder would be, but then you filled that hole and the one where my heart should lie, and I know I did the same for you right?” If it weren't for her hand on my chin encouraging eye contact, I don’t think I would be able to look at her, at the little touch of vulnerability that she is allowing me to see, and our love for each other that she is allowing me to feel.
“Yes, you're right. I just….. I think I am feeling more protective and on guard right now with this claimed Dragon Reborn, feeling the amount of power and strength draining from you to keep his shield tight is making it hard for me to trust anyone right now, worried someone might strike you while you are low on strength.” I admit what has been bothering me, taking comfort that she is standing in my arms right now and I can feel her warmth and breath on me. She searches my eyes for a moment, trying to see behind my layers, which I let her. I can see her small gasp at the love and worry I know is painting my e/c irises before she gives me a small smirk as she leans down to kiss me. Giving me one of power, showing that she is still very much here and the same strong and capable Liandrin I know and feel in love with. We stay like that for a while, her letting me hold her and bury my face in her stomach listening to her even and sure breathing with her hands resting on my back, rubbing soothing and mindless patterns every once in a while.
Time Jump
There's a commotion going on, I can hear the distant chattering of voices before a white light comes flickering in. I look to Kerene at the same time Liandrin asks,
“What is it?”
“My wards. Looks like his army didn't run home to their mothers after all.” Kerene states. I can feel a flash of panic run through me, causing Liandrin to send a flash of calm and control over to me, sending a glance my way before returning to focus on keeping her shield on Logain.
“No army can get past seven full sisters” Liandrin states.
Logain awakes suddenly, sending out an enormous blast of the One Power, breaking himself out of the shields the three of us had put on him, my own having been put on when the commotion started. He sends the three of us soaring back into the stone. I watch as Liandrin’s head hits the floor of the cave, hard. I had pulled my power from her to stop myself from getting fully thrown to be knocked out. I start to crawl towards her, trying to also look for Kerene and see what Logain’s next move might be. I reach her leg and grab onto her ankle, sending some of my power to her to wake her and also heal the injury to her head.
Next thing I know, Logain is dissolving his cage into thin air, stretching his muscles in preparation to unleash god knows what to us. I still have my hand on Liandrin, trying to wake her, heal her, and project an invisible shield over the two of us in case he decides to attack us again. I then see him start to tilt his head before I see Moiraine come out of the shadow of the cave entrance. She doesn't even glance at her fallen sisters, focused instead on this “claimed Dragon”.
“The others will be here soon, so we don't have much time to talk.” I can't believe her. She is more focused on this man than her fallen sisters or aiding in the ongoing battle.
“Why should I believe you’re the Dragon Reborn?” Moiraine has turned this into an interrogation, while in the middle of a battle?!
“I can hear them when I channel,” Logain pauses.
“All of them. Whispers of a thousand Dragons that preceded me, a thousand lives… I've led.” I can't see her face, but I can feel her mind. How she does not want to believe what this man is saying, and how she is trying to connect the pieces. I feel Liandrin start to stir, but his voice draws me back into their conversation.
“And they're teaching me how to do better this time. Isn't that why the Wheel turns our spirits out again and again? To learn.” He certainly talks about things that not an average townsperson would know.
“The Wheel doesn't want anything. It can't. Any more than a river or the rain can want something. It's people who want.” I am shocked that Moiraine is fishing the complex weaves out of Logain, but I still don't agree with how she is almost trying to pick a fight with this powerful man. I see him step close to her, and I start to rise, preparing to step in front of Moirane in case he attacks her next.
“What do you want?” He asks her. I see her turn her head slightly to where Kerene is slowly waking up, preparing to move. I feel Liandrin does the same.
“I want you to know that the voices in your head…. Those are the whispers of madness. And as strong as you are, your power is a trickle. It's a pinprick of candlelight against the raging sun that will be the Dragon Reborn.” Kerene suddenly blasts Logain back, causing him to hit the wall. Just as suddenly, LIandrin gets up and starts channeling with Moiraine, myself, and Kerene, trying to trap him into shields, forcing him down on his knees.
But, he won't go without a fight. Without warning, all of us focus on putting his shield on, and a sharp and piercing black sword of his power breaks through. I see it too late, getting only halfway in front of Liandrin as it catches my hand when I hear Kerene yell and see her send a shield in front of Liandrin, pulling the sword to herself as it impales her to the wall. I see the light drain from her eyes, feeling her life trickling out from her. I see Moiraine and Liandrin look at her fall before they strengthen their power.
Liandrin looks at me, seeing my pain before nudging me with our bond to focus on the task at hand, the time for mourning reserved for later. I join back with them, forcing him to his knees once again. Seeing Kerene roll over and take her last breath, knowing that he did this.
He’s fighting our power, and I can feel Liandrin pulling too much, her checks starting to light up with the draw of her power. I cannot speak verbally to her, knowing it’d fall on deaf ears. Instead, I try to communicate through our bond, pleading with her to stop drawing too much and burn out, and I'll lose her too.
“Liandrin, you’re drawing too much. You’ll burn out.” I think that's the first time I've ever heard Moiraine be concerned for Liadrin’s safety. I'm grateful she could say the words I couldn't.
“I don't care. He killed our sister and I. Will. Cut. Him…. down.” I can hear the anguish in her voice as her cheeks get brighter. Suddenly, I see people running into the cave, Lan and Kerene’s warder at the forefront. Watching from the corner of my eye how he takes in her body, motionless on the ground. I see him turn to Logain, feeling before hearing his scream as he charges at Logain, Lan yelling his name.
He jumps on him…. And, and we’re back to the dream I had only this morning.
Kerene is dead. Lan’s throat is slashed. Liandrin is cut, gasping at her chest that is weeping, her face contorted in pain. Suddenly, her eyes snap open, frantically searching for me. She finds me, and she scrambles to pull me to her. Our fingertips brush before everything fades into darkness.
“No! Y/N no no no, please. Please wake up! You can do it. Open your eyes, love please!” Her tears drip onto my face, but I can’t bring myself back from the darkness, no matter how hard I try.
“Link with me! Now!” My eyes shoot open, just in time to see everyone standing up, their power merging with Laindrin’s. I take a deep breath before standing and stumbling up next to her. I don't understand what happened or why that strange girl from before is hunched over Lan’s body, but that is neither here nor there at this moment. I see Liandrin glance at me, feeling her relief and love at my being on my own two feet surge through the bond before she focuses back on Logain, my power being the last to link with her and the final component to her aid.
“Let the hand of the Tower fall on you, Logain Ablar, and take back that which nature itself does not with you to hold!” We all link stronger to Liandrin, watching as she pulls the darkness and power from him. He has agony on his face, but I can’t find it in me to care anymore.
I hear Liandrin grunt as she takes a step back, and I am on her in a second, grabbing her arm to not only hold her up but to reassure myself that she is alive.
We all look to where Logain sobs on the ground, then to where Stephen is cradling Kerene’s body, then to the stranger in green. I feel Liandrin take in a shaky breath as she looks at me. Her hand comes up to cradle my face, whipping the little bit of blood that remains next to my lips. I grab her wrist with the hand not supporting her, fearing if I let go she’ll fall over. I wrap my fingers around her pulse point, feeling how her heart is hammering from the adrenaline of what just occurred. We gaze into each other's eyes for a minute, speaking through our bond reassuring each other that we are both still breathing.
Time Jump
Logain gets shackled and put back in a cage. Stephin has laid Kerene’s body to rest, as well as everyone else who met their end during the raid. I stay with Liandrin, watching to ensure she doesn't collapse, not having enough time to recover, and having more pressing matters. We make it back to camp, everyone mourning their losses and preparing to make the journey back to the Tower at first light.
I follow Liandrin to the red tent, and then into our separate tent. I stay silent, watching her take off her cloak as she starts pacing. I followed her with my eyes as I made my way to the small table again to sit down. I still hear her pacing as I pour some water and lay out some food I took as we passed through the main tent. I let her continue until I catch her wrist the last time she comes by. She regards me for a moment before I tug her gently to sit in my lap so she can straddle and face me.
We regard each other for a moment before she shocks me with her show of dominance by grabbing my face and smashing our lips together. I grip her hips harder, allowing her to have control just at this moment. When I feel her tongue lick my lips, I bite hers in retaliation, hard enough for a drop of blood to spill out as I thrust my tongue in her mouth, causing her to let out a moan bordering sinful for me to swallow.
I feel her start to squirm in my lap before I pull back. She whimpers at the loss as I give her hips a strong squeeze before fixing her with a strong look.
“You can be an idiot sometimes, you know that?” I ask her with a loving stare, hoping that she gets I’m upset at what she pulled with her power but not insulting her.
“I’m not sure what you could be talking about dearest.” I fix her with a look that makes her want to look away, but she knows it’ll just dig her hole deeper.
“You almost burned out Liandrin! And you dared to say you didn’t care!” I fix her with a stern look, feeling my eyes fill with tears as hers do. She looks away with shame in her eyes, and her lip starts trembling. I pull her back to me with my thumb on her chin, wiping the tear that escaped.
“I’m not angry Lia. I, I just wish you would think instead of getting caught up in the moment. I, we, watched Kerene die, protecting you, and you not only were about to put that sacrifice in vain, but you were also going to let that man have another sister's life under his belt.” Her lip is fully trembling, tears coming faster than my thumb can keep up.
“Liandrin, you were going to take yourself out, and leave me with a broken bond, and have me witness you doing so in one of the worst ways?” That breaks both of us. My tears fall as she throws her face into my neck with a broken sob. I rest my chin on her head, absentmindedly rocking us back and forth as she sobs her apologies into my neck.
Eventually, my tears dry and her shaking stops. I go to pull her back gently, but she resists, letting out a small whimper trying to hold on to me tighter, scared that I was trying to push her away. Instead, I just wanted her to drink something. I let her stay like that for another moment before I try again and she relents, letting me pull her back enough to see her face. I give her a small smile as I wipe the dried tears from her face.
“Now, here’s some water, I’d like you to have at least half of this and a portion of food. You used too much strength today and didn’t give yourself enough rest in between.” I hand the glass to her, giving her a small smile, not letting go as I see her hand shaking. I let her stay on my lap, enjoying the warmth enveloping us.
I watch her drink the rest of the water before she reaches to put the empty glass on the table. She then reaches for the full glass and the rest of what she picked through. She holds the glass up to my lips, and I get what she’s doing. I allow her to feed me the rest of the food. Once my empty glass has been placed on the table, she wraps her arms around my neck, again pulling me closer until I lean the rest of the way in, allowing our lips to meet again. This time she doesn’t even bother to attempt to take control. I smirk into the kiss before standing up with her in my arms.
She pulls away with a small shriek before wrapping her arms and legs tighter around me, redirecting her lips to attach to my neck instead. I feel her hover and stay by my pulse point, attaching her lips to where she can feel my heart thumping steadily. As we reach the small bed, I feel a tear wet my skin again. I lay her down gently and pull back to look at her, sending my question through our bond. She starts for a moment before answering.
“I watched you die Y/N. You, you died in my arms and there was nothing that I could do about it. I felt our link breaking as if it were glass.” The tears are pouring out of her again, her words breaking as she continues.
“When Nyneave came in and somehow healed us, I was so focused on drawing power that I didn’t even feel you rekindle our bond. I thought that you were truly gone… forever.” I lose the battle with the burst pipe running down her face. I do try to keep wiping her tears, keeping her grounded with my contact.
“Until you came and stood next to me, I truly thought that you, my dearest heart, were gone, and I was going to live a former shell of myself with a broken bond.” She can hardly take in breaths, having worked herself into such a panic about what had just occurred a mere few hours ago.
“I know my love. You tell me. What do you want? What can I do for you?” I keep wiping her tears, trying to calm her breathing.
“How do you want me to prove to you that I’m still here and that I’m not going anywhere any time soon?” I stay hovering over her, allowing her to match her breathing with mine, and feel my presence without it being too much. I don't want to pressure her, I want her to come to me on her own accord.
Suddenly, she pulls me down on top of her, crashing our lips onto each other again. She starts desperately trying to pull my top off. I stop her, wanting her to vocally tell me what she wants. I pull away and look at her.
“You have to use your words Laindrin.” She pouts, trying to use her signature pleading eyes to get me to cave. However, after everything that has happened today, I want, I need, her to tell me what she wants, what she needs.
“Nu-uh, none of that. Tell me what you need, Liandrin.” She tried one more time with her pout, but I instead hit her with what I know will make her listen.
“Come on Liandrin, be a good girl and use your words to tell me what you need.” That does the trick as she whimpers before pressing her still-clothed lower half to whatever part of me that she can reach. She grunts in need and can’t find the friction she needs.
“Please Y/N. Please I want you, I I need you to make me forget. Please, my love. Please!” She keeps pleading with me even as I’m disrobing her, albeit as slowly as I can just to tease her that extra bit more. However, my self-control snaps once I remove her pants and see the wet spot forming on her underwear. I’m surprised at myself for not ripping them with the force I used to remove them. She whimpers again as the cool air meets her soaked sex. I’m thankful I had half a mind to put wards up to ensure no one could hear in, and more importantly, no noise went out.
She starts trying to rip my clothes off, so I stand up causing another whimper to fall from those delectable lips as I start to remove my own clothes. She watches me with wide eyes as she still squirms on the bed. I can see her fingers twitching, part wanting her to touch me but also trying to resist touching herself.
Once I’m fully undressed, I climb back on the bed settling myself between her trembling thighs. I start kissing around her neck, leaving marks that I'll heal in the morning, wanting her to have them as a reminder until then. She whimpers and groans as I scrape my teeth along her pulse, hands grasping desperately onto my back as I slowly make my way down her chest. I stop at her breasts, one hand teasing her nipple into a hard peak as my tongue and mouth draw the other in, switching the attention once it's to the hardness I want.
She's squirming more now, hands fighting with wanting to pull me closer or push me down. I finally relent when she lets out a whimpered plead, planting wet kisses on her stomach as I reach her soaked sex. Her wetness spread to her thighs, starting to drip onto the sheets below. I run my fingers through her folds, teasing her clit and weeping hole lightly, causing her thighs to shake more. I glance up at her with a raised eyebrow, waiting for her to ask.
“Please Y/N. Please I need you. I need you to make me forget I can't take it anymore.” I give in when those beautiful and piercing blue eyes meet mine, licking a slow path from her hole to her clit, before attaching my mouth to her clit with a strong suck. Pulling the most filthy moan out of those kiss-swollen lips. Without warning, I thrust two fingers into her slick heat, and her hand shoots down to grab at mine that’s resting on her hip, holding her down.
Her other hand is gripping the sheets, pulling them so hard I’m shocked she hasn’t ripped them to threads yet. Her hand on mine searched until I moved to interlock our fingers, reassuring her that I was still there. Her moans increase as I feel her walls tighten around my digits.
“Are you gonna cum, Lia? Hmm?” My breath tickles her swollen and slick clit as my fingers increase in their speed, brushing against that spot inside of her, causing her to scream out, fingers interlocked in mine squeezing enough to draw forth some blood from my hand. Her eyes shot open as she looked down at me.
“Please Y/N! Please! Light!” Her eyes lock with mine as her pleading and whimpers get louder. Blue eyes begging with mine to let her have this.
“You can cum Lia. Be a good girl and cum for me.” She lets out a filthy moan as I place my mouth back on her clit, sucking hard as my fingers press harder on that spot inside her. She comes with a scream before she stops breathing for a moment, her body forming the perfect arch before she drops onto the bed, her slick staining my face, hand, and the sheets below.
Once she’s calmed, I slowly pull my hand from her warmth, and she lets out a whimper at the overstimulation. She reaches for me and pulls me up to her, connecting our lips. She lets out a moan as she tastes herself on my tongue and lips. I pull back, giving her a small smile before I get off the bed completely. She whimpers and reaches for me, scared that I’m going to leave.
“It’s alright Lia, I’m just grabbing a cloth and some fresh sheets. I’ll be back in a second love.” I reassure her with a kiss on her forehead before I leave to do just that. Using my power to fill up a glass of water before coming back with fresh sheets and a warm cloth. I place the water on the little table next to the bed before I settle between her still-shaking thighs. I wipe her down gently before moving to grab her. I pick her up gently and place her on the small case at the end of the bed. Making sure she can support herself before I step away to strip the sheets from the bed and put new ones on.
Once finished, I gathered her back in my arms and put us both under the covers, warmed by my power. I grab the glass of water, bringing it to her lips as she takes in greedy gulps before setting the empty glass back on the table. She curls into my body, resting her head on my chest over my heart, trying to lull herself and calm herself to the steady rhythm.
“You okay love?” I run my fingers through her hair, gently pulling at the knots that formed during her thrashing as I feel her lips plant themselves over my heart. She takes in a deep breath before she answers.
“Yes Y/N. T-Thank you. I umm,” she cuts herself off as I feel another tear wet my skin. I kiss her head as I squeeze her tighter, finishing the words she couldn’t bring herself to voice yet.
“I love you too Lia. Get some sleep. You need it for our journey tomorrow.” I tilt her head up to me and softly kiss her lips before I pull the blankets over us, settling us both down for the night.
I feel as her breathing evens out, arms slackening in their hold on me. I squeeze her against me as I plant a final kiss on her head, sending hopefully peace through our bond to keep her nightmares at bay for the night as I start to drift off into the land of dreams.
Today was a rough day, dying, thinking she died. But, in the end, we still are breathing and holding each other. And we always will be.
Forever.