"Han, you know you can talk to me about anything, right?" Spencer prodded gently, as she moved the multitude of work-related papers off of her bed to make room for the two of them.
"I don't want to talk about what happened, okay? I just want to forget it happened at all," Hanna snapped.
Spencer flinched back a little from the tone of Hanna's voice, however, she didn't take it personally. After all, Hanna had been kidnapped just a few hours before. "I completely understand Han. We don't have to talk. What can I do, if there's even anything I can do."
"I just really need a hug right now," she said.
Spencer was quick to react. She tucked the younger girl under her arm and rubbed calming shapes into her back. From their position, Spencer could feel Hanna's heart beating steadily. A constant reminder that she was truly here in the flesh, she wasn't a doll. She was back safe.
"I should've listened to you Spence," Hanna said, sounding as if she was on the verge of tears, as they shifted so that Hanna could lay her head in Spencer's lap.
On instinct, Spencer's hand shot out to thread her nimble fingers through Hanna's blonde tresses, which were still slightly damp from her long shower. "No, you were trying to take action and save everyone's asses. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I never should've let you go through with that plan."
"Spencer-" Hanna started.
Her hand had moved from the younger girl's hair to her lightly trace the outline of her cheek, stopping abruptly to cup Hanna's face and turn her so she could see her eyes. "No Hanna. I was jealous of you and Caleb, and I let my feelings for him get in the way of my relationship with you. I was supposed to fight to keep you safe Hanna, not send you into harm's way with a red arrow pointing to your head."
"Spencer, I need to tell you something." Hanna sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, a habit she had clearly picked up from Spencer. "The reason I'm telling you is because the only thing I could think about when I was taken was how I had betrayed you and how I might never get a chance to say that I was sorry." She avoided Spencer's eyes as her fingers skated over Spencer's ankle fretfully.
"Hanna..."
"I don't want this to end us, Spence," she said, her voice wavering towards the end and her grip on Spencer's ankle tightening.
Spencer's breath caught in her throat. "Nothing could ever--"
"No. Never say never, Spencer," she said as she turned over to look Spencer in the eye, her pinky finger held high. "Just promise me that, no matter what, we won't let this break us. Promise me we'll get through this okay."
Spencer intertwined their fingers instantly, pulling her lips down to press a chaste kiss to her thumb to signify a seal. "I promise," she said as sincerely as she could muster with the knot that had now swelled in her throat.
"Okay. Right before I was taken, me and Caleb-- Caleb and I kissed..."
"Me and Caleb kissed."
Hanna and Caleb kissed.
They kissed.
"Spencer, please believe me when I say that it meant nothing. I was just scared and with everything going on, I felt like I had time traveled back to that out-of-control highschooler. No idea what I was doing, fighting for my life, and Cal- Caleb was always my safe place. He was the one thing in my life that was solid, the one thing that I knew was right when I didn't know if I was making the right decisions. I guess, in that moment, with everything feeling so overwhelming, I was just looking for something familiar."
Spencer tried to feel hurt, betrayed, sad, anything. However, at that moment, all she could remember was the heartache she felt when she thought Hanna was gone forever, the sadness she felt when Hanna hadn't been by her side, and the fear she felt when she thought she would never get her back again. In the end, the only feeling she could comprehend was the immense relief that she had her Hanna in her arms once again. "None of that even matters right now, Han. We can talk about everything later. The only thing that matters to me is that you're safe and sound."
"I'm just glad I'm here with you. This is where I feel safe, where I've always felt safe. Right here in your arms." She snuggled her head deeper into Spencer's waist, her lips ghosting over the patch of skin suddenly exposed where Spencer's shirt had ridden up. "Y'know I dreamed about you Spencer while I was there. You-- well the high school version of you-- talked me through it. You helped me get out of that hellhole. Caleb made me feel safe, but you Spencer, you're my anchor. You keep me grounded."
Spencer ran her fingers across whatever patch of bare skin she could find. She brushed the hair from Hanna's face, traced the outline of her plump, slightly bruised lips (probably longer than she needed to, or should have), she massaged comforting circles onto the younger girl's back, anything she could to make sure she was real. "Han, you got out of there all on your own. You didn't need me, you've never needed me like you think you did."
"Wow," Hanna said, bringing her head up from Spencer's lap to look into her eyes. "I never thought I'd live to see the day where the Spencer Hastings was wrong. I need you Spence and I've always needed you. You believe in me and you never let me give up on myself." She looked down and grabbed Spencer's hand, the one that wasn't touching her in a million different places, and laced their fingers together. "All that Hastings' confidence must have rubbed off on me. You're the only person that pushes me. You're the reason I keep trying even when I've given up hope. You make me a better me, Spence."
"I could never make you better Hanna. You're the one who inspires me. You're so strong, and you make me fight harder. You're already so perfect and," Spencer paused, the words you complete me resting just on the tip of her tongue. "You're smarter than you think, Han."
"I'm nowhere near perfect." She laughed dryly.
"Yeah, well, nobody truly is. But you're perfect to me Hanna Marin."
"I love you, Spencer Hastings," Hanna stated like it was the most absolute, honest thing in the world.
"Ditto."
"Say it please," Hanna pleaded. Her big, beautiful, ocean-blue eyes, which had dulled over the course of the last few days, doubtlessly from whatever she endured in her capture, bored into Spencer's with a neediness she hadn't seen since Hefty Hanna. "I need to hear you say it."
"I love you my little baby Hanna Banana," Spencer purred soothingly, as she gingerly cupped the blonde's face.
She was intoxicating. Everything from the smell of Spencer's Rosemary Mint shampoo drifting into her senses from Hanna's freshly washed hair to the way her eyelashes fell perfectly over her cheeks, which were covered with a slight blush, had the brunette's head reeling. Spencer could get lost in Hanna's vibrant, ocean-blue eyes, for an eternity. She memorized every line on the blonde's face, making mental notes of all the newly formed frown lines and bruises that made her blood boil.
Spencer's breath caught when she came out of her Hanna-induced daze and realized how close they had drifted together. The electricity between them was crackling between them with anticipation, coursing through Spencer's body as if she had been struck by lightening. She was sure when they collided, the explosion would be nuclear, leaving everything in its path quavering.
She took the lead, closing the space between them. When their lips finally touched, Spencer swore the rest of the world fell away. Hanna's lips moved against her like honey, every kiss slow, their lips sticking together from the depth of it. Hanna greedily grabbed at Spencer's shirt, molding their bodies together easily like a sculptor. Spencer's hands found purchase in what seemed like their favorite place to be, Hanna's hair. Even as the blonde's nails dug into her collarbone and lower back, urging her for more, Spencer kept the pace the same. They were completely absorbed in one another, lips moving in sync like they were performing a forbidden dance. When Spencer could no longer hold her breath, nor steal Hanna's, she pulled away slowly, Hanna's bottom lip sliding out of her mouth with a "pop." Hanna's lips were puffy and looked freshly kissed, while her hair had become unruly. It was a look that suited her, a look she could get used to seeing, Spencer thought.
With their foreheads touching, they just sat and breathed each other in for a moment. Spencer felt high off of Hanna, and, man, what were drugs compared to this girl. If anything would kill her first, she would definitely bet on the latter.
"It's you. It's always been you," Hanna muttered lazily, shoulders slumping with every second that ticked by.
"We definitely have a lot to talk about in the morning."
"We do. Hopefully, it ends like this," she mumbled hazily. She sounded far away, lip sucked into her mouth in concentration. A goofy smile soon rested on her face as she leaned in to press another kiss on Spencer's lips. "Goodnight Spencer."
"Goodnight my baby Hanna Banana."