just not in the way that i want you to
Sometime in between geometry and Spanish, Riley managed to cross paths with Lucas.
“Hi,” she greeted him, giving her best smile.
“Hi.”
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
There was some silence until Lucas finally decided to break it by saying, “So uh, you and Maya?”
“Yeah, we realized that we really needed each other,” she replied, nodding. It wasn't a total lie.
“Well, all hail the queen, I am your humble servant,” Lucas teased, with a bow.
Riley giggled, trying not to blush.
“I'm glad you and Maya are back together. We should probably stop running into each other like this. I don't wanna be the guy that breaks up the cutest couple in all of school.”
“Maya and I have an open relationship,” Riley blurted out. “She'd be totally fine with this.”
“Sweet.”
“So tell me about yourself,” Riley prompted, wanting to know more about the boy.
“Well I'm from Texas, so is Zay. We've known each other practically all of our lives. I really like playing sports.”
“What kind of sports do you play?”
“Baseball, track, basketball, I'm trying out football.”
“I don't know that much about sports,” Riley said, her hand running through her hair. “I mean I'm born and raised in New York City so my favorite team is obviously the Knicks.”
Lucas raised his eyebrows, intrigued and impressed by Riley’s knowledge of sports. (Even though he was a diehard Longhorns fan.)
“And I know it’s not our best year but we still have Melo,” Riley continued, her voice growing louder as she got more passionate. “And we have Phil Jackson, that’s what counts. We have a terrible record, we're the worst in the NBA! I am at Madison Square Garden, I see all these fake fans just jumping onto bandwagons like the heat or something like that. And you know what? That is not what a true fan is! If you're gonna be in the garden, you better represent the Knicks!”
Lucas laughed and Riley swore his laughter was one of the most precious things that she had ever heard.
“I mean, I don’t know that much about it, obviously,” she said quietly.
“I really like you, Riley.”
Riley went through the rest of the day floating on air. Lucas Friar liked her. Lucas Friar really liked her. Lucas Friar, the Lucas Friar. She couldn’t believe it. She was popular. She was going to be homecoming queen. She got to rub this all in Missy Bradford’s face. And the most popular boy in school really liked her. All day, she was itching to tell Maya all about it, but since they were in school, she knew she would have to wait to talk about Lucas. As soon as they left for school, she practically ran, literally dragging a breathless Maya along with her, to her home.
“Bay window, bay window right now!” Riley exclaimed when they finally got up to her apartment.
“Okay, jeez,” Maya said, out of breath.
Riley pulled Maya to their sacred spot and sat down, patting the seat next to her for Maya to sit at. Maya was confused as to what would be so urgent that Riley would want to talk about. Did she want to end the fake relationship? Maya thought to herself as she sat next to Riley. Part of Maya would be relieved if that happened but the other part of her kind of wanted to keep this up because she liked it when Riley kissed her on the cheek, liked it when people thought they were dating.
“So what’s up, honey?”
“I think Lucas Friar is going to like me,” Riley said, squealing with excitement.
“Of course he’ll like you, you’re Riley, there’s no one more likeable than you,” Maya replied.
“No not like me like that, like, like like me,” Riley said, practically swooning. “He said he really liked me.”
“He did?” Maya’s voice was normal but inside she wasn’t quite sure what she was feeling. But it wasn’t good. She didn’t like the fact that Lucas liked her and probably was one of those boys who wanted to ‘turn a lesbian straight.’
“Can you believe it? Lucas Friar, the Lucas Friar, likes me, the most popular boy in school.”
“Well, let’s not hope that no one finds out or thinks that you’re cheating on me,” Maya said, looking down at the floor, wanting to focus on anything other than Riley’s face, her perfect face. “They’d think you were a terrible person.”
“Are you upset?” Riley said, lifting Maya’s head like she had done so many times before. Only this time, Maya was scared - terrified even - to look at Riley.
“No, I’m just...anxious about telling my mom,” Maya half-lied. She was anxious about telling her mom but that was not why she was upset.
“What are you talking about? Your mom loves you,” Riley reassured Maya.
Maya knew that her mom loved her, she just wasn’t comfortable telling her that was gay. When she wasn’t. Well, she wasn’t sure what she was but she knew she didn’t want to be gay. Again, not that she thought there was anything wrong with being gay, she was just terrified of her mother’s reaction. Her mother was traditional, didn’t even tell her that she was the one who got left until Shawn made her because ‘a girl should think well of her father.’ What kind of thinking is that? If a father left a girl, Maya didn’t want to think well of him. And she tried to forgive him but she couldn’t, she was still working on forgiving herself.
“I don’t know, Riles, she’s not as progressive and freethinking as your mother, Topanga may not be a hippie anymore, but that part of her certainly still exists.”
“Okay, if you don’t want to tell your mother, I won’t force you to,” Riley said, stroking Maya’s hair. “I want you to do it when you’re ready, I want you to go at your own pace.”
“Thank you,” Maya said, in a slight whisper. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Peaches.”
“I know.”
Just not in the way that I want you to.