...And In Health
Life quickly returned to normal, with Jason returning from Alan’s, and Bernie and Serena both throwing themselves back into life on AAU. They were welcomed back with open arms by their harassed colleagues, who were fed up with agency and bank staff, and cover from other departments who didn’t fully understand their procedures. In the scarce moments of respite from the rush, Serena lost no opportunities to poke fun at Bernie about what a difficult patient she was, and Bernie, grateful for the love and care Serena had shown her, took the digs with good grace. Additionally, Serena had made it her mission to get Bernie to understand what an attractive woman she was, and had taken to whispering compliments to her at inopportune moments, when Bernie had no chance to reply. She also considered pointing out to Bernie the numerous times she caught someone else admiring her, but had drawn the line there. It wasn’t that she was insecure, per se, but there wasn’t much point in deliberately showing Bernie her options when Serena had no intention of ever letting her go.
January bled into February, February into March, and as the weather started to turn warmer, and cold related illnesses and injuries waned, so the ward calmed to its usual, though still frenetic, pace. Bernie and Serena found more time together in the office, discussing patients, exchanging smiles across their respective desks whilst wading through reams of paperwork, and sometimes just taking a moment to sit with a cup of tea and contemplate their joint dominion.
Their home life was no less harmonious. Now they had been officially living together for several months, they had fallen into a mutually agreeable routine, which didn’t entirely rule out the occasional niggle – Bernie’s natural talents for leaving mess in her wake had Serena pulling her hair out on more than one occasion, conversely Bernie couldn’t get her head around Serena’s constant need to clean, tidy, straighten and plump up anything and everything on a far too regular basis. They had developed a system whereby Serena clearing her throat pointedly would indicate to Bernie that she might want to collect up and appropriately dispose of her detritus before she left the room or moved on to another task, and Serena had taken to waiting to do the majority of her straightening and tidying in the early evening whilst Bernie sat with Jason to watch some of his programmes. The solution seemed to work well for both of them, thus despite those small personality quirks, they were both equally satisfied and delighted with their relationship and cohabitation.
* * *
One cold Saturday, early the following December, found Serena and Bernie on a shopping trip to search out presents for Jason and the children. It had, of course, been Serena’s idea. Bernie would never have chosen such an activity. Truth be told, it was close to her idea of hell. But, Serena was already getting fully into the festive spirit, and had been so excited at the prospect of a day out shopping together that Bernie hadn’t had the heart to say no. It did mean she got to watch Serena, cheeks and nose red with cold, get all excited over the festive displays, and all the gift options out there. It also meant that she didn’t have to worry much about Christmas shopping, she knew Serena would ferret out little treasures that she would proclaim perfect for Cam and Charlotte – and Bernie would know she was right. Which left only the problem of choosing the perfect gift for Serena herself. And she did want it to be perfect. She wanted to leave no doubt in Serena’s mind about how much she adored her, no question of her commitment to making their relationship last.
They had been out for a couple of hours already, and Bernie couldn’t think of a large shop or department store they hadn’t already been in. But, Serena clearly wasn’t done yet, so Bernie carried on following her, carrying the bulk of their purchases, outwardly uncomplaining (whilst inwardly planning the things she would be asking Serena to do to make it up to her). Lost in her thoughts, she almost barrelled straight into Serena, who had abruptly stopped and stepped in front of her. Serena was gazing into the window of a little jewellery store.
“Oh, Bernie, perhaps a pendant for Elinor? Or Charlotte, if you think she’d like it? Let’s take a look.”
Bernie stepped up to the window, casting her eye across the array of necklaces displayed at an approximate eye line level. But as she glanced downward to the lower tiers of the display, her attention was caught by the rings arranged below – in truth by one particular ring. It was stunning, made of white gold, and reasonably plain apart from a beautiful design etched around the centre of the ring. It almost looked to her eye like a chain of caducei, head to head and tail to tail around the whole circle. How incredibly appropriate. She glanced at the price tag. Ouch. However much she might like it, she certainly wasn’t going to be treating herself. But, it was so beautiful, and would make an incredibly special gift for the right person... She looked at Serena, stood by her side, musing aloud about the relative merits of this pendant against that one, knowing that Bernie wasn’t really listening, but including her regardless. Bernie knew at once that this was the gift she had been searching for. The perfect gift for Serena Campbell. Of course, there was no way she would be able to buy it today. Which would mean another trip shopping, this time by herself. She nearly groaned aloud at the prospect, but stopped herself, with a reminder of who she wanted to do this for, and how much she was worth it. Now she just had to figure out a way to remember where exactly this shop is...
Her mental dialogue was interrupted by Serena pulling her by the arm, into the shop itself to check out the wares inside.
For the remainder of their shopping trip, Bernie made a concerted effort to join into discussion with Serena about gift choices, meal planning, anything that Serena cared to bring up.
In the end, it was nearly a week before Bernie found the chance to return to town alone, to make her purchase. She found the shop without too much bother, she had mentally plotted a map from when they left the shop until they finally returned to the car, and it wasn’t like she wanted to spend more time than she needed to wandering around at this time of year, fighting her way in the cold through the seasonal shopping crowds. She managed to neatly sidestep a heavily laden, angry looking man who seemed to think his plight was sufficiently worse than everyone else’s that he had the right to barge through people without consideration – and stepped inside the jewellers.
She was greeted at the desk by a bespectacled man, who knew instantly which ring she was referring to. He brought it to her from the window for closer inspection, and she picked it up and turned it around in her hand, before slipping it on her finger to check for size (she had already tried on one of Serena’s rings from her jewellery box and confirmed that if it fit Bernie, it should certainly fit Serena). As she slipped it off again, Bernie felt even more certain that this was the perfect gift. She returned it to the man, nodding her confirmation, and rummaged through her bag to find her credit card.
“Did you want the ring engraved inside with a message?” asked the assistant.
“Engraved?” Bernie hadn’t even thought of such a thing. “Erm, I don’t... Actually, yes. I do.”
“If you could jot down the message you would like added here, we can get that done for you within a couple of days. There is of course a limit to how much we can fit, so please keep the message as short as possible.”
“Right”, said Bernie, brow furrowing as she thought hard. After a few moments, she picked up the pen, and scrawled a few words on the proffered card.
* * *
Christmas day, when it arrived, was a lovely but quiet one. Just the three of them – Serena, Bernie and Jason. Cam was working, Charlotte was with Marcus, and Elinor was spending the day with her boyfriend's family. Miraculously, for the second year running, both Serena and Bernie were off work, although Bernie was technically on call for trauma. They had spent the day opening gifts, chatting and laughing. All three had pitched in to cook the Christmas roast, and it had been wonderful (no thanks to herself and Jason, thought Bernie later). Then came an afternoon of board games (Jason couldn't wait to try his gift from Cameron), and documentary boxsets (another of Jason's gifts, this time from Elinor). Bernie and Serena had been extremely content to join Jason, just basking in their domesticity and the pleasure of being together, sharing glances and smiles, full of affection and the promises of heat to come. They too had exchanged gifts – small, thoughtful presents – a CD Serena had been wanting; a novel Bernie had expressed an interest in; and other little things that spoke of love, care, and attention.
It was now late in the evening. Jason had disappeared up to his room, to try out his new computer game that Bernie and Serena had bought for him. In the living room, the lights were dim, and the flames from the log fire were slowly dying to embers. Bernie and Serena were cuddled up together on the sofa, both wearing novelty Christmas sweaters and matching socks – their gifts from Jason (presented proudly as he'd chosen them all by himself).
Serena nuzzled into Bernie's neck. “Mmm. Thank goodness today was a quiet one on AAU”.
“Yes, luckily no stabbings over the Christmas turkey.” said Bernie.
“Or shootings over rotten choices of presents!” Serena chuckled at her own joke, her warm breath tickling Bernie's neck and making her shiver.
“Rotten presents?” Bernie pulled away slightly, looking concerned.
“No, you idiot, I wasn't talking about my presents! I love everything you gave me. You make me feel... special. I was merely making a joke about work!”
“Right, yes, of course. The thing is, Serena, I... There is, I mean, I have... I have another gift for you. I held it back, I wanted to save it until we were alone”.
“Really?” Serena's eyes sparkled. “Well, that's most interesting, because I saved my last present to you, too!”
“You did?!” Bernie looked surprised. “But, you've given me so much already!”
“What can I say? I can't help myself! I can't seem to stop wanting to do things to show you I love you!”
“I can think of plenty of ways you can do that, Serena!” Bernie said with a smirk.
“Now, now, I'll be getting to that in a bit!” promised Serena. “But first, the presents. How about, you show me yours and I'll show you mine?!”
Serena reached under the tree, searching the corner at the back. Meanwhile, Bernie had gone over and opened the drawer of the dresser, where she now kept all her personal paperwork. They returned to the sofa, and sat, facing each other, knees pressed together, both tense with anticipation.
Almost simultaneously, each held a wrapped gift out to the other. The gifts were identical in size and shape, a fact which wasn't lost on either woman. Serena moved first, beginning to unwrap the colourful paper from her gift. Bernie watched, holding her breath, knuckles white with nervous tension. As Serena removed the last of the paper, revealing the jewellers box within, she paused, looking up at Bernie's face with a quizzical expression. Bernie, unable to interpret Serena's expression, panicked at the fear of impending rejection. She set her shoulders and straightened her back, bracing herself for what was to come. She was, however, totally unprepared for Serena's reaction as she opened the box and saw what was inside. Serena exhaled a shaky breath, before bursting into tears.
Bernie felt devastated at her perceived error in judgement. She fought the ever-present need to run from the situation. “Serena, I, I didn't mean to upset you! I'm sorry, I should have thought more, I mean, I don't want you to...”
“Oh, Bernie!” Serena flung her arms around Bernie's neck, holding her tightly, as tears dampened Bernie's shoulder. “It's so beautiful! I really love it, it's just... open yours!”
Serena released Bernie from her embrace, sliding her hands down to Bernie's knees, unwilling to break contact, but allowing Bernie the freedom of her hands to unwrap her own present. Bernie, still somewhat confused at Serena's extreme outburst of emotion, hastily stripped away the paper, brows lifting in surprise as she revealed a box emblazoned with the same Jewellers name. Her gaze shot to Serena's face, eyes wide, as she opened the box to find an identical ring to the one she had chosen for Serena! Bernie gasped, mouth working wordlessly for a few moments before a semblance of speech returned.
“Serena! Oh! Wow! Well, I never...”
Serena, smiling broadly, yet still with tears in her eyes, took pity on Bernie's inability to process and articulate her feelings.
“You are a woman of very fine taste, Ms Wolfe! And since you chose such a beautiful gift for me, I'm rather hoping you were taken with it yourself, too!”
“Um, yes, I was! I loved it as soon as I saw it, and it immediately made me think of you and how beautiful it would look on you, and of course I would have liked it for myself, but I just knew that it had to be yours, and...” When she found her voice, Bernie was unable to stop the words from tumbling out.
“Bernie!” Serena interrupted Bernie's breathless expulsion. “I felt the same. I'm so happy you love it, and I'm so happy you bought one for me... You can't imagine how awful it was when I went back to the jeweller to get it for you, and it was missing from the window! I went in and spoke to him – he knew exactly which one I meant. Did you know that the rings were made by a local jewellery maker? Yes,” she continued at Bernie's shake of the head. “He specialises in etched design, and only ever makes one or two of any given design. I happen to know that these two rings are quite literally the only two of their kind – the jeweller contacted him on my behalf to beg for another ring the same. It's been quite a flap, trying to get it in time for Christmas! But it's worth it. I just can't believe that you bought the other one!”
“Maybe it's fate!” Bernie's face was softened by a warm, shy smile. “I wonder if that jeweller remembered us coming in together? You know, when we went shopping for the children? I wonder if he remembered that when we both bought the same thing?!”
“He must have thought we were shopping for wedding rings!” chuckled Serena.
Bernie blushed bright red, and looked at her hands, twisting in her lap and fingering the ring she had put on whilst Serena had been explaining it's origin. Since they had moved in together, a year ago now, they hadn't ever discussed the progression of their relationship. They had both been so happy, and their intimacy and closeness had grown organically without the need for words or labels. Bernie had no idea what thoughts Serena might have for their future, although she was confident that Serena did imagine their having a future. All Bernie knew were her own dreams, her own visions about what their life together might look like.
“Um, Serena... There's a message. Inside.”
Serena lifted the ring she had been stroking with her fingers and held it up to the light. As she twisted it around, she was able to read the message “My heart and soul. Forever”
“Oh, Bernie!” she breathed, tears filling her eyes again. “I love you so much!”
“I love you too”. Bernie pulled Serena into her arms, and the two women held each other.
“There's a message in yours, too”. Serena whispered into Bernie's ear.
Without leaving Serena's embrace, Bernie slipped her ring off and held it up behind Serena's back, reading aloud the words engraved inside:
“With all my love, always”
Bernie pulled back slightly, one hand slipping around to cup Serena's jaw as the other stroked her waist. She rested her forehead against Serena's.
“I do want this to be for always, Serena.” she said. “I can't imagine life without you. I would never want to”.
“I don't ever want to lose you either, Bernie. Life with you makes me so... happy.”
Bernie pulled back further still, drinking in Serena's beautiful face, eyes shining, cheeks still slightly damp with tears, her radiant smile.
“You know that thing you said, a minute ago?” she asked, hesitantly.
“Which thing?”
“About, well, about... wedding rings?”
“Yes?” Serena looked at Bernie, anticipation widening her eyes and parting her lips.
“Well, I know we've never talked about... What I mean to say is that I don't know what you think about... I mean, I know that you were before, and that it didn't work out, and that was with a man. But of course it's all a whole different kettle of fish with me being a... Oh! Bugger this!”
Bernie halted her own verbal incontinence, and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She opened her eyes again, dropping her hands to grasp Serena's, and gazing steadily and bravely into Serena's eyes.
“What I'm trying to say is: Serena Campbell, will you marry me?!”
“Oh, yes, Bernie, yes! Of course I will! I love you, I...” Serena, overcome with emotion, succumbed to tears yet again, this time joined by Bernie, herself overwhelmed by the enormity of her feelings and her happiness at Serena's response.
“Serena, I promise you, I will spend my whole life making you as happy as I can. Just as you make me”, and with that, Bernie leaned forward, capturing Serena’s lips once again in a kiss full of adoration, hope, and promise for the years to come.