Psychotic

Psychotic
Chapter 2: The Shrink

If the smell of antiseptic wasn’t a clear enough indicator to where she was heading, the sound of sirens left little to imagination. If Clarke could move her lips, she would have groaned at the thought of the hellish events to come. Hospitals weren’t a place she enjoyed being in; all the doctors and annoying nurses that popped in every hour, being bed-ridden for days, all the needles and worst of all, having to face her worried family.

Faint whispers talked over each other, drips and drabs of new dialogue constantly overlapped into a swirl of noises which was impossible to decode. Clarke was far too disorientated to make sense of her scrambled thoughts or how much pain she was really in. In fact, it was hard to focus on anything other than the tingling sensation running down the length of her spine. Nerve endings were alive against the feather-like touches which sent her body alight. An abnormal wave of warmth stemmed from her spine, spreading outwards throughout her body contrasting the coldness in her chest.

She couldn’t move; being strapped down onto a gurney only made the task harder to do. Her throat burned with the urge to cough against its swollen walls which had enclosed around her voice box. All of her efforts were futile. Her body was completely unresponsive. From behind her eyelids, Clarke watched as a wave of pitched black water came hurdling at her, engulfing her into a world of darkness as she blacked out again.

“I can’t get a heart rate!” A young medic yelled frantically at the other paramedics in the ambulance. His hands trembled as he hastily pulled his stethoscope into his ears, placing the cold metal surface onto the patient’s chest, desperately listening for a heartbeat.

“What do you mean you can’t get a pulse?” Alarmed by the alert, a senior paramedic who had climbed in from the front of the ambulance immediately rushed to the younger male’s side. Swiftly pushing the young paramedic aside, the man placed two fingers against Clarke’s neck feeling for a pulse. Her skin was clammy to the touch and looked discoloured compared to his blush covered fingers, which he noted were both the expected physiological reactions to trauma. He waited and waited, expecting to feel a slight distinct wave pulsing against the weight of his fingers.

After a few moments of feeling nothing the senior paramedic’s worry began to grow as he immediately started running basic checks in his head of all of Clarke’s vital signs. With all of his years of experience under his belt it was only moments before the medic’s checklist of vitals were complete and he was left being puzzled further. Although he was baffled by the lack of heartbeat against his fingers and on the heart rate monitor screen in front of him, his worries quickly settled as he watched the slow rise and fall of his patient’s chest.

The medic cringed internally whilst reprimanding himself. How could he have let himself get flustered – even for a second – over such a rookie mistake? Removing his hand, the senior paramedic set his face into an expressionless mask hoping to have not given away any signs of confusion. He was not about to be chastised or embarrassed by some junior medic.

“She has a pulse you idiot. Check twice before you sound off an alarm next time!” The senior paramedic hissed at the young medic. Oh, he was a hypocrite for sure.

“She doesn’t, I swear!” The young paramedic defended himself, his mouth left gaping in disbelief.

“Well please explain to me how is she breathing if she doesn’t have a pulse?” Pointing out the obvious, the senior paramedic hit the junior medic up-side the head. “Apprentices these days are just getting worse and worse” He grumbled.

“Okay, jeez! I’m sorry” The junior medic rubbed his head as the other paramedic marched back to the front of the ambulance, leaving Clarke alone with the junior paramedic.

Watching as Clarke’s chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm, the paramedic hesitantly reached out to check her pulse again. Pulling his hand away after a few minutes the junior paramedic shook his head in a daze having still felt nothing.

“Maybe I should study up on my basic first-aid techniques again” The medic mumbled to himself, frowning.

“How are you feeling Miss Griffin?” A doctor stood at the foot of Clarke’s hospital bed looking down at her with an overly fake smile on his face. He held a clipboard pressed tightly against his torso, concealing away the personal information of all the patients he had attended on his rounds.

“I survived didn’t I?” Clarke snarled coldly, staring at the unfamiliar doctor that was trying too hard for her liking to be nice. A knot of irritation stirred within her stomach, constantly coiling and unravelling as this encounter with yet another doctor continued to wear on.

“Clarke, be nice” Abby, who stood at Clarke’s bedside, whispered harshly into her daughter’s ear. However being reprimanded for her actions only egged Clarke to glare more at the man who had been talking to her for the past half an hour. The conversation had long ago lost her interest but Abby constant interjections into her ears was the only thing that kept Clarke from succumbing to the sleep that weighed down her eyelids.

Taking a once over glance of the room, Clarke noted all of the people that had come to visit her in hospital. It wasn’t surprising to find Abby clutching onto the frame of her bed with Jake, Clarke’s father, standing behind her with Abby’s hand held tightly in his own. Jake had always been one of those silent comforters who acted as the emotional rock of the family when situations like this occurred. Clarke was beginning to think that her old man didn’t believe that there wasn’t a single problem out there that couldn’t be solved with a few comforting words and conjoining hands with your loved ones. It was a rather stupid sentiment when she thought about it. Clarke’s eyes flickered to the foot of her bed, looking slightly to the right of the doctor where the familiar faces of her friends; Octavia, Jasper and Monty were.

Jasper sat slumped into an upholstered chair, his head buried into his hands as he leaned all his weight onto the arm of the chair Monty sat in beside him. Dark brown curls clung haphazardly against Jasper’s forehead, making him appear more rugged than Clarke had ever seen him. His eyes appeared to have sunk further into his skull, casting a long menacing shadow down his tired face. He looked so fragile, both of them did. Flickering her gaze between the two best friends, Clarke expected to see at least one of their bodies cave in on themselves at any moment. Both of them looked like they were still overcoming shock. Monty, although his face showed no signs of shock, had yet to cease trembling since the accident. Clarke could see his eyes constantly scan over all of the different tubes attached to the various machines flowing into her body through different cannulas. It was surely a frightening sight to see, one that Clarke had put them through too many times.

The only one who seemed composed out of the three of them stood by herself, leaning against the wall behind her, her pair of dreary eyes boring holes into the side of Clarke’s skull. Clarke couldn’t bear to make eye contact with Octavia knowing that she’d be greeted by a gaze which spoke more volumes than words ever could. Clarke didn’t want to see the look of disappointment, especially when she could still recall how it had almost broken her the last time she had saw it. Instead of facing the intense gaze of her friend, Clarke chose to focus onto watching her hands which were fiddling with the fabric of the woollen blanket laid on top of her. As she picked at the individual fibres of wool Clarke tried ignoring the pointed stares of everyone in the room watching her intently. She didn’t want to face the solemn looks of pity and worry, not today, not ever.

Feeling a prick of annoyance begin to brew within her, Clarke rolled her eyes and stared indifferently at the doctor.

“When can I leave?”

The doctor shifted slightly under her gaze but went on to answer anyways. Running a hand through his mane of brown locks, the doctor cleared his throat before reading the reports from his clipboard which held the answer to Clarke’s question.

“Well I got to say you’re incredibly lucky. I don’t know how you did it but surprisingly your injuries aren’t that serious. Your blood tests and CT scan all came back normal which is a good sign. Although we are still waiting on a few tests to come back, it seems that other than a fractured wrist and some cuts and bruises, you’re okay” The doctor paused to flash a smile at Clarke which was not reciprocated.

“That’s great news!” Abby practically squealed in delight as a wave of relief washed over her. When she had gotten the call from the university earlier today, Abby had feared the worst for her daughter. “Thank you so much Marcus”

Dr Kane chuckled in response to Abby’s thanks. “I’m just doing my job”

Clarke rolled her eyes again at that line.

“Clarke is really lucky though. It’s a miracle that the tree broke your fall. If the tree hadn’t been there…” Dr Kane let the rest of the sentence fade, knowing that the other occupants in the room knew where he was taking his train of thought without having to voice it.  

Clarke’s eyes narrowed into a glare, she could see right through his ‘nice guy act’. Dr Kane didn’t care about her. Hell, if he wasn’t a family friend of her mother Clarke doubted he would even be here right now. It was clear to Clarke that his purpose of being here was only out of friendship obligation instead of genuine concern for Clarke’s health; that was how it always was with him. The layer of bile coating her throat wasn’t the sole reason for Clarke’s feelings of repulsion; she was quickly reminded of the real reason as she was met with another radiant smile from said doctor. He always had the same disgusting smile plastered across his face whenever he talked to her. It was fake, all fake.

‘Lies, lies, lies’

“That still doesn’t answer my question” Clarke cut into the light conversation Abby and Marcus had fallen into. Again Dr Kane shifted uncomfortably under her gaze, quickly readjusting himself back into his professional demeanour.

“Once we get your results back and another doctor comes in to give you final clearance you may be discharged to rest at home for a few days. We have put your wrist into a cast to help your bone heal correctly and you’ll have to keep it on for about a month”

Clarke glanced down at the clunky plaster cast which covered her left forearm and hand, immobilising all movement of her wrist. Instinctively, Clarke wiggled her fingers to see how much range of motion she had left in her hand. The results of her test were displeasing to say the least; she could only move the very top half of her fingers which poked out from the ends of her cast, her hand was practically useless now.  

Dr Kane continued while eyeing Clarke’s hand which was straining to move against its confines, “Make sure you don’t put any weight or strain on your wrist for a few weeks and I suggest taking some time off from school to fully recover.”

“Thank you so much Marcus” Jake smiled as he patted Dr Kane on the back, reiterating his thanks as he pulled his friend into a one armed bear hug.

“It was nothing, just part of the job” Kane chuckled, as he pulled the curtains back to exit the hospital ward. Just before he left, he added “We should have dinner together soon. I’m sure I have a lot of stories to catch up on” The last half of his sentence was clearly directed at Clarke and her ever going antics.

Clarke only groaned as she heard her parents accept the offer and make plans as Dr Kane left. Her eyes shifted back to looking at the IV tubes that ran out of her arms, pumping in some sort of clear liquid into her veins. She faintly hoped it was morphine; at least that would make this current painstaking conversation somewhat bearable. However Clarke’s wishes weren’t necessary as silence settled over the room as the doctor had finally left. She even managed to get a moment of peace before the short lived silence was broken as attention was averted back onto her.

“Clarke Abigail Griffin what the hell did you think you were doing? Do you know how worried I was?!”

And let the lecturing begin.

Clarke’s gaze didn’t lift from her bed sheets as Abby ranted away about how reckless she had been by doing such stupid things. Perhaps she had been too reckless; Abby certainly seemed to think so. It seemed that her mother only intention was to pile on guilt as she reminded Clarke how selfish she was to put not only herself in danger but also cause her friends and family distress. Clarke faintly registered Monty shift uncomfortably in her peripheral vision as Abby leaned further into her personal space. Normally, a lecture like this would be enough to make anyone feel sick to the core with guilt but Clarke’s conscience had checked out long ago. Instead, Clarke’s attention had drifted to staring down at the wheels of her bed wondering how much effort it would take to break the locks off the bed and wheel herself out of here.

“Clarke! Clarke, are you even listening to me?” Abby shouted.

The only response she got was a slow blink from Clarke who was staring blankly into thin air.

“See Jake she’s not even listening” Abby pulled back to turn and face her husband, who was still standing beside her as a pillar of support. Jake’s lips pursed together as if he was in deep thought as he watched tears well up in his wife’s eyes.

“There is something wrong” Jake started, earning all eyes to be on him, with the exception of Clarke who was still tuned out to reality. “She’s becoming even less responsive these days. It has gotten to the point that Clarke doesn’t even respond when you shout in her face when she slips into one of these…trances” He sighed, running his hands through his mop of short swept-back brown hair.

“Abby, Jake…” Octavia spoke up whilst pushing herself off the wall, “with all due respect I think you’re overthinking this. Clarke just had a huge fall that could have killed her. She’s just coping with it by blocking things out”

“She just needs time to recover” Octavia quickly cut in as she saw Abby begin to retaliate.

Abby sighed at that. “I would love to believe you Octavia, I really would but this has been going on for too long now. It’s not normal”

Octavia felt herself flinch at the statement but wasn’t about to back down from defending Clarke.

“We just want to know what’s wrong with her” Jake added, his thumb stroking the back of Abby’s hand to give her reassurance. Abby wiped away the tears streaming down her face as she tried to prevent her thoughts from slipping into a dark place.

Her daughter was everything to her but she also brought a lot of trouble to her family and friends. Sometimes Abby couldn’t help but imagine what it’d be like to live without Clarke’s constant issues and each time Abby felt instantly guilty for ever even having those thoughts. What type of mother had she become?

Feeling that it wasn’t her place to speak up, Octavia kept mum on the subject allowing only the sound of Abby’s sobs to fill the room. It’s not that Octavia didn’t share their concerns of Clarke’s health, of course she did, it’s just that no one knew Clarke like she did. Usually she was on top of preventing Clarke from going AWOL but her moment lapse in keeping an eye on her had almost cost her friend her life.

Swallowing her regrets, Octavia shifted her attention to observe Jake as he whispered comforting words into the shell of Abby’s ear. The low, mellow tones of his voice which resonated across the room managed to even have a soothing effect on her as she silently watched the intimate encounter.

“Hi, can you tell me which room Clarke Griffin is in? Oh yes, thank you” The sound of a foreign voice echoed into the room.

Monty, who seemed to be the only one that noticed the new voice, leaned back in his chair to poke his head out of the curtains that had been pulled over to give Clarke privacy. Immediately his eyes landed on a woman dressed in a long white coat talking to a reception nurse just outside the ward they were currently in. Clarke’s room was stationed right next to the nurse’s reception desk which allowed for the perfect view of watching the constant flow of nurses going up and down the hallway and allowed them to be well aware of a new presence before they even entered the room.

Monty pulled his head in just as he saw the woman begin to approach the ward.

“Another doctor is coming to see Clarke” Monty announced, his eyes shifting to Abby who was still sobbing softly in Jake’s arms. Suddenly feeling as if he was imposing on this family situation he decided to add, “We should clear out and give you time alone with the doctor”

With that, Monty got up, pulling Jasper to stand along with him. Glancing briefly in Clarke’s direction, Monty felt the same wave of dread rush over him as he immediately began vividly recalling the flashbacks of what had happened merely hours before. It took several blinks before the images burned into his eyelids began to fade away.

“We will be down in the cafeteria” Without waiting for a reply, Monty dragged Jasper behind him to exit the ward.

Seeing her friends leave, Octavia quickly followed suit, pausing momentarily to glance back at Clarke once more.

“Thank you” Jake gave a small smile to Octavia who only offered a nod in response before fully ducking out of the curtain.

Slipping out into the isle of the ward, Octavia took a quick glance at the other curtain covered beds occupied by other patients. Drawing her attention forwards, Octavia’s eyes narrowed on the lonesome figure coming her way. Octavia only had the chance do a once over the woman as she briskly slipped passed her undetected.

But even at a glance, one couldn’t help but notice those piercing emerald eyes.

“Hello, you must be the Griffins” Clarke’s parents looked towards the cascade of light which flowed into the room as a slim arm drew back the hospital curtains to reveal a women carrying a small black book and felt-tip pen.

“Hello” Abby blinked away the last few lingering tears that clung to her eyelashes having already wiped her eyes with her hand before welcoming the new doctor, hoping the she wouldn’t notice that she had been crying.

“What’s wrong?” The doctor’s eyebrows creased together as she made eye contact with the middle-aged women that by her mere appearance looked so fragile that she could break at any moment. “I was informed that your daughter had miraculously suffered no serious injuries from the fall. You should be happy”

Abby frowned at the straightforwardness of the brunette newcomer.  

“You shouldn’t cry in front of your daughter. You are her only source of strength right now” The woman spoke with a formality and wisdom that, by the looks of her youthful complexion, was far beyond her years. 

Evident shock was written across both Abby and Jake Griffin’s faces at the bluntness of this doctor. However as the words sunk in, their faces relaxed again realising that the young doctor was right. They did have to be strong for Clarke, now more than ever.

“Alexandria Woods, nice to meet you” The woman introduced herself to Clarke’s parents first before spinning around to smile at a spaced-out Clarke. “And this must be Clarke”

“Hello Clarke” Alexandria spoke as she stepped directly into the line of sight of the patient lying in the bed in front of her, trying to get Clarke’s attention. The small smile that adorned her features faltered when the only successful response she received from Clarke was a dazed blink. Feeling her jaw set into its natural place, Alexandria adapted her approach of gaining the blondes attention by simply waiting until she was noticed.

As if she was expecting it, Alexandria didn’t even flinch as Abby snapped at Clarke a second later.

“Clarke, don’t be rude!” Abby yelled in a pitch which Alexandria guessed was unnaturally high for her based on how her voice cracked at the end of the sentence. Seeing no response to her yell, Abby immediately grabbed onto Clarke’s arm which was draped over the bed’s frame.

The green-eyed brunette silently watched as Clarke’s glossy eyes suddenly hardened into a deadly glare which was immediately sent towards her mother as she ripped her arm away from Abby’s grasp. The brunette had expected the violent reaction since she had been taught never to touch a person in a psychosis-like trance. However she was certainly not expecting the next set of words that spilt out of the blonde’s mouth.

“Touch me again and I’ll break every little bone in that hand of yours” Venom practically dripped from Clarke’s tongue as she hissed at her mother. The sudden outburst of rage left everyone in the room taken aback, however the young medical professional held her composure well. If looks could kill, Alexandria definitely believed the blonde was capable of following through with her threat.

“Hello Clarke, I’m sorry to interrupt what you were doing but I am here to do your final check-up” Alexandria decided to announce her presence to the blonde who instantly shifted her gaze onto her.

She didn’t falter even slightly under the glare directed at her but instead had to control a smirk that threatened to make its way onto her face as she took in the appearance of the blonde. It was ironic how the cold greeting from her patient only made the blue of her eyes resemble ice glaciers.

“I’ve already had four doctors come and give me a check-up in the past two hours, including eight vials of blood been drawn. They’re all said I am completely fine to be discharged so why don’t we skip this step and you let me leave already?” It was more of a command than a question.

Clarke eyes danced over the appearance of her new doctor, her gaze stopping to stare at the odd choice of hairstyle. Never had Clarke met a doctor who strayed away from the neutral permitted conventions of the doctors dress code as the brunette in front of her did. Her long brunette hair was pulled into tight braids which surprisingly didn’t need dozens of hair ties to stay in place. Clarke had only seen hairstyles like this in her history textbooks when they were studying Native American tribes last semester and the resemblance was almost uncanny. She also noted that the black eye shadow which framed the brunette’s pair of emerald eyes in a smoky haze was far too dark to be considered appropriate for this type of workplace.

“I promise that this will be your last check-up. You will be able to go home immediately if you pass these last few tests” Clarke watched as the doctor spoke in a low voice. Not once did her neutral mask break into a smile, not that Clarke minded.

She actually preferred it this way. Clarke had never understood why doctors and nurses pretended to act like that cared about their patient’s troubles when in reality they were just counting down the hours until the end of their shift. She saw through all the facades, so Clarke was pleasantly surprised when all that she was greeted by was nothing but the brunette’s emotionless face. The brunette offered no clear insight into what she was feeling but at least she didn’t try to fool Clarke into thinking she was pleased to be here talking to her. Clarke could respect that approach.

“Would you mind stepping out of the room for a few minutes so I can talk to Clarke alone?” The brunette asked Clarke’s parents politely, knowing that patients were always more likely to open-up when in a private environment. Of course, she was well aware that there were other patients around which could listen in to their conversation but there was nothing the brunette could do other than pull the curtains as closed as possible once Clarke’s parents had reluctantly left.

Clarke eyed the brunette carefully as she watched her pull a visitor seat to her bed side, sitting down,  putting both women at the same eye level. Having removed any physical power imbalance between the two of them by sitting down, Alexandria opted to open the atmosphere in light conversation. 

“You’ve had a hard day today, huh Clarke?” She mused but immediately halted once she saw Clarke’s glare intensify. ‘Not a fan of humour. Great’ the brunette silently noted to herself, coming off more sarcastic than she had intended.

“You’re not a doctor, are you?” Clarke’s eyes flickered down to the white coat which the brunette wore. The fact that she didn’t have any medical equipment on her jacket, no hospital name tag, nor was she wearing those ugly hospital shoes instead opting to wear black leather boots didn’t escape Clarke’s sharp observations.

Clarke immediately felt her defences go up as she came to the conclusion of who this woman really was.

“I don’t want to be psychoanalysed”

“I see you’re a quick observer” The brunette was slightly impressed at how quickly the blonde picked up on her real profession. “How did you know I was a psychologist?”

The words stung Clarke as her suspicions were confirmed by the question.

“Because all shrinks look a-like” Clarke hissed her response, repeating the words which had floated to the front of her mind.

Alexandria observed Clarke’s appearance as she spoke. Except for the fact that her arm was wrapped in a white cast and there were IV tubes protruding from her arm, Clarke looked quite normal for a person who had fallen off a four-story building only hours ago. The cuts which stained her perfect complexion had already started to scab over and the bruises which littered her body could easily be covered up with foundation. However it was the flicker of emotions in Clarke’s eyes which concerned the psychologist the most.

The brunette watched as Clarke’s hand shook with what she assumed was the same rage she had seen the blonde display earlier as it clenched at the bed sheets with a tight fist. However in a blink of an eye the sheets were released by a calm hand which showed no sign of anger at all. The action of clenching and unclenching repeated continuously as Clarke’s eyes mirrored this quick contrast of emotions. It was a baffling sight even for the psychologist.

“I want to go home” The blonde spoke again, her hand releasing the sheets but this time made no effort to grab them again. This time her voice was coated in an almost dejected sigh.

“Well before you are allowed to be discharged you and I have to have a little talk” Alexandria reasoned. Her voice was notably quieter than before in order to match the volume of Clarke’s.

“Why do I have to?” Clarke whined.

Alexandria noted that the spark of rage and annoyance she had before was completely absent.

“Because it is hospital protocol that a patient who has attempted suicide gets a psychological assessment to ensure they are in the right frame of mind to be discharged” The brunette explained easily before adding “And it depends on my result whether you get to go home or not so let’s have a talk so you leave as soon as possible, okay?”

“I wasn’t trying to commit suicide. I just slipped” Clarke clarified, narrowing her eyes at the psychologist a few feet away from her.

“How did you fall?” The brunette quickly asked a follow up question.

Clarke watched as the psychologist opened the small black notebook she had been holding onto her lap, slender fingers flicked through inked pages before coming at a stop at a fresh page situated near the end of the book. She continued to observe as the brunette wrote todays date and Clarke’s name as a header at the top of the page.

“I climbed up a reception antenna, lost balance and fell backwards” Clarke answered straightforwardly, her eyes glued to the brunette’s pen as it began writing what she had just said.

“Why were you up there in the first place?” The psychologist looked up to raise an eyebrow in interest.

“Because I wanted to, it’s fun up there” Clarke felt her anger begin to build up inside of her as she watched the psychologist write down everything she was saying.

Tapping against the mattress, Clarke tried to contain the ticking time bomb inside of her which was ready to explode at any moment.

“And that’s what makes me angry” Clarke admitted through gritted teeth.

“What does?” Clarke was met with a flash of emerald as the psychologist looked at her, having ceased writing.

“That” Clarke nodded to the pen still connected to the page of the psychologist’s notebook. “You writing down everything I say pisses me off. You Shrinks are all the same. You don’t care about the patient as long as your pay cheque is big. It doesn’t even matter what I tell you right now because you won’t remember anything unless you look at that stupid book” Clarke laughed humourlessly, glaring down at the notebook.

All shrinks were a joke. They were just money-hungry people that used the suckers dumb enough to hire them as the punch line. Clarke was not about be the punch line of yet another joke.

“I can ensure you that is not true, Clarke. Everyone is different. Each one of my patients thinks and reacts differently to a variety of things. I just use my notebook to keep track of the observations I make to ensure I don’t accidently trigger anyone and so that I can keep track of progress.”

“Excuses! You, along with the rest, are all full of lies” The venom was back and the brunette slightly moved back expecting her to spit the projectile into her eyes at any moment. Alexandria contemplated the words for a moment before shutting her notebook and putting the lid on her pen.

“I understand your frustrations Clarke. I won’t write notes if it makes you uncomfortable, I will remember everything you say to me” Green eyes met blue as the psychologist gave Clarke her full attention now that she didn’t have to write.

“Whatever” Clarke shifted her attention to stare at the ceiling.

She immediately regretted that the consequence of the brunette not writing notes was that she now had no distraction from staring at Clarke. Her stare was far too intense for Clarke’s liking and she hoped that the brunette would get the sign that she didn’t want to talk anymore and would just leave.

“Do you find it hard to control your emotions Clarke?”

The sudden question caught Clarke off-guard as she searched her mind for an answer. Could anyone really control their emotions? If you are sad, happy or angry your face or body language reflects that one way or another. You can’t just pretend not to feel, right?

The answer was obvious and yet Clarke’s mind couldn’t seem to register it as being correct. Emotions of confusion surfaced one by one only to be immediately swallowed back down into the depths of her deep blue eyes. It was so fast that if Alexandria had blinked at that moment, she would have missed it. She would have missed the gleam of uncertainty in the corner of those cold eyes. She would have missed the only sign of life.

“I can control my emotions perfectly fine” Clarke looked back down at the brunette, speaking in a monotone voice which mirrored her equally as expressionless face. Control, she could control herself. Yeah, she could control herself or at least that’s what she told herself.

“Interesting” The brunette hummed to herself, lips pursing together in contemplation, what she was thinking however remained a mystery. Green never strayed from blue, diving deeper and deeper into unexplored waters. “Do you often feel depressed?” She asked, prying deeper into private information that Clarke didn’t particularly feel like sharing.

“Maybe” Clarke shrugged against her pillow, feigning indifference.

“If you don’t work with me here Clarke, you won’t be getting discharged anytime soon” Alexandria didn’t sigh, nor did she roll her eyes but she couldn’t stop the sarcastic comment which came next. “And to be honest with you, I’m not too thrilled about doing this right now either, especially when this was supposed to be my day off”

Clarke bit back instantly, “I don’t want to talk to you or anyone. And I especially don’t want to talk to some fucking psychologist that I don’t like”

 “Well I’m not asking you to like me” The psychologist responded calmly despite Clarke’s insult and clear aggression towards her. “I just want you to answer my questions so that I can do my job”

Clarke sighed at that. Cranking her neck to the left, she felt her muscles lengthen before steadily relaxing as she buried her head deeper into the lumpy standard-issue pillow which she had been given by the hospital. Closing her eyes for a moment too long to be considered a blink, Clarke relished in the short moment of silence which settled between the two of them. But the enjoyment silence brought was always short lived when it came to Clarke. Silence gave the voices too much time to be heard, it gave them the power of control.

Promptly the voices roared to life; each voice screaming over the other in a bid to be heard. Clarke squeezed her eyes shut, speaking quickly to attempt to distract herself from the battle cries resonating within her. “The doctors say I have depression…I take medication for it”

When blue eyes reopened they couldn’t bear to look into emerald. Her gaze was trained on studying the pattern of the curtains which hung behind the brunette when the psychologist spoke again.

“How do you feel when you don’t take your medication?”

“Sad obviously” Clarke snickered sarcastically, her voice steadily decreased in volume, finishing the sentence in a barely audible whisper. Alexandria’s ears perked up at what she heard Clarke mumble, making a mental note to herself to not forget that fact. She had heard more than enough.

“Thank you for your time Clarke. I will go inform the nurses to prepare your discharge papers and I’ll bring your parents back in here” Clarke watched as the young psychologist promptly stood up, pushed the chair back to where it belonged and left with a flick of brown hair over her shoulder.

“Finally” Clarke exhaled as she flopped further into the mattress of her bed, her casted arm landing to shade her eyes away from the illuminating lights.

“Mr and Mrs Griffin, can I please speak to you for a moment?” The Griffin’s whirled around immediately at the sound of Alexandria’s voice drifted up the hallway, just in time to see the woman approach them.

“Yes, of course! How is she doctor?” Abby rushed forward to meet the woman halfway. All it took was three unnaturally long strides before Abby came to a jerked halt in front of the brunette, immediately clasping at the corners of the brunettes jacket. Alexandria’s eyes shifted to look beyond Abby, noting the abandoned cup of coffee left on the arm rest of the chairs her husband was slumped in.  A flash of apprehension framed his features as he promptly stood and made his way over to where the two of them stood.

About half a dozen nurses had whizzed past the three of them heading down the hallway by the time Alexandria chose to finally speak.

“Actually Mrs Griffin, I am a psychologist who was asked to come down here today and give your daughter a psychoanalysis to determine whether she is at threat of repeating today’s incident. Physically, Clarke appears to be very healthy but mentally she is evidently unstable. I fear that she may even be potentially dangerous to herself and others” The brunette took a small pause to let the surely shocking information she had just revealed sink in.

“W-What? How?” It was Jake who was at loss of words.

“Well that’s what I can’t tell you. It’s impossible for me to make an accurate diagnosis at this point in time because I simply haven’t monitored Clarke’s behaviour long enough. I’m not going to jump to any conclusions, especially after she is dealing with the trauma of a near death experience but I’m also not just going to let this incident go by without a follow up. She claims it was all an accident, and I am inclined to believe that, however there is something going on that drove her up that antenna to start with.

“What does that mean? Are you saying my baby is some nut job?!” Abby’s voice rose in volume drawing attention from the nurse typing away at the reception desk behind them. Alexandria merely shifted her weight to her back foot as she paused for Abby to get a hold of herself. She was expecting this outburst anyways, it was normal for people to react to shocking news by throwing accusations in an absolute state of denial.

Clasping her hands behind her back firmly, Alexandria stood straight with confidence as she calmly continued on. “No, I am saying that I am concerned that Clarke may need to talk to someone to overcome whatever issues she is having. Mental health is something a lot of people neglect to take care and I am not about to let Clarke become another victim to carelessness”

There was a slight bite to the end of her sentence which didn’t go unnoticed by Abby who promptly closed her mouth, pressing her lips into a thin line. Jake still looked to be in utter shock as his mouth remained slightly agape, closing and reopening every so often as if he was attempting to say something. Both of the Griffin’s seemed to have lost their voices by the time the psychologist delivered her final blow, a stern order.

“Under my duty of care, I can’t let your daughter to leave constant medical supervision at this point before I can fully diagnose how much of a risk her mental health is at. She is going to need further consultations and as there is no resident psychologist here at this hospital it appears that Clarke is going to have to remain here for a while to get those consultations. Unless-”

“No please, Clarke hates hospitals! There is no way we can possibly keep her here for that long”

Ignoring the interruption, Alexandria pressed on “Unless, you wish to admit your daughter to where I work at so I can personally conduct those consultations. It’s called ‘Sunshine Recovery’.” Slender fingers revealed themselves from behind the brunette’s back, conveniently holding a business card which was instantly extended towards Abby in one smooth movement. “Sunshine Recovery is a government-funded rehabilitation facility which offers a wide variety of treatments to people dealing with physical and mental disabilities or addictions”

“You are located in Mount Weather” Jake commented, reading said information off the business card which was now cradled in his wife’s palm. “That’s a three hour drive away from here. That is too far for Clarke to be away from us, we would never be able to see her”

Alexandria raised a palm into the air to stop Jake from rambling. “Our aim is to isolate our patients from their previous day to day lives to allow them time to focus on overcoming their problems without any distractions. Of course we have visitation hours but I understand the journey to and from the facility is a long trip, but I can ensure you that the travel costs will be the most expensive part of Clarke’s treatments. Everything else, including my salary, is subsidised by the government. Plus, it’s extremely beautiful up in the mountains at this time of year” Green eyes twinkled as the brunette uttered the last sentence almost in a whisper, a ghost of a smile dancing across her face.

Abby and Jake sighed collectively. “I just don’t know if that’s the best decision for Clarke. It’s too far”

The twinkle died instantly. “Of course, I understand your concerns Mrs Griffin. I believe it will be the best place for Clarke to be, but at the end of the day it is your choice. I completely understand if you choose to have Clarke remain here but I must warn you that I may or may not have just accidently informed Clarke that her discharge papers are being prepared as we speak.”

Abby’s eyes narrowed at that; the brunette’s vacant expression gave no hints of this being a joke. No eye twitching, no corners of her lips turning upwards, not a single sign of this situation being some long, elaborate prank. Damn that girl would be good at playing poker.

‘What a convenient accident’, Abby thought to herself but didn’t voice her accusations. This woman had given her no reason to believe her intentions to be anything but having her daughter best interests at heart. Although the brunette’s voice was rather monotonous and revealed little emotion, Abby could not help but notice how those emerald eyes reflected nothing but sincerity and genuine concern. Pushing aside her own uncertainty and selfish desire to keep her daughter close to her, Abby knew that this would be best for Clarke. In fact, Abby knew that the decision to let Clarke go had already been made even before she made eye contact with her husband.

The two of them shared a tight lipped smile before turning to face the young psychologist again. “Okay, we’ll do it”

“We’re in agreement then. I have left a referral letter with the nurses here who are handling Clarke’s discharge. I will inform my workplace to put Clarke down as my patient”

“Thank you so much Miss Woods” Jake reached out and shook the brunettes hand firmly in his grasps.

“You’re welcome but please just call me Lexa”

With a flash of a smile, another handshake exchanged between women, and a whispered goodbye, the psychologist and a pair of devastated parents parted ways. The parents, returned to huddle at the bedside of their only child and deliver the heartbreaking news, while the psychologist, well she strode straight out of that hospital with the mission of finally enjoying the rest of her day off.