I
Bellatrix was in her room, silently trying to finish revising her summer work for History of Magic— why the fuck did Binns assign another essay on the Goblin Rebellion—when a loud crash was heard throughout the Black Family Manor. “Shit,” she muttered, quickly putting her quill in the holder and rushing downstairs. She needed to beat her father to wherever the crash was coming from.
The crash had come from the kitchen, so that was where she hurried. As she made her way down the stairs and through the hallways, her mind was racing with what kind of excuse she would tell her parents to spare her sister—whichever one had caused the mess–from whatever cruel punishment their father had in stock for her this time.
She arrived in the kitchen to see Narcissa staring eyes wide at a shattered vase–one of their mother’s favorites. Bellatrix could still hear her father’s footsteps approaching, so she had to act quickly. “Cissy!” Bellatrix whisper-yelled, causing Narcissa to meet her eyes. Cissa looked as if she was holding back a sob. “Hey, hey— it’s okay. Go into the hallway and act as if you had no idea the vase fell.” Narcissa started to shake her head, but Bellatrix grabbed her before she could argue. “It’s okay. Go. Now, before he gets down here.”
“What about you?” Narcissa’s voice had a slight tremor. Bellatrix let out a sharp sigh. “I’ll be fine. Get in the hallway, Cissa.” Narcissa bit the inside of her cheek and walked off. Bellatrix closed her eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat, and made her face look as distraught as possible.
Narcissa slowly walked back into the kitchen from the hallway, and soon followed their father and Andromeda. “Bellatrix.” Their father, Cygnus, demanded, his tone firm. She turned her body to face him, but kept her gaze to the floor. “Yes, father?”
“Move, now,” his loud voice echoed. But before Bellatrix could get out of the way, Cygnus had shoved her to the side so he could see the damage that had been done. “I’m sorry, father, I didn’t mean to—” “SHUT IT,” he boomed. “Your mother’s vase. You broke it?” Bellatrix slowly nodded. The only thought running through her brain was that it was better than Cissy. Over the years, Bella had gotten quite good at acting like she had done things she hadn’t, in order to satisfy her father and protect her sisters. Better her than them, anyways.
Cygnus raised a hand and smacked Bellatrix hard across the face. It was far from the harshest correction she had received, but it still stung. Cygnus produced his wand from his cloak, and with a wave of it, the vase had been returned to its usual state— fine and pristine on the countertop. “You always act with such a reckless disposition and lack of care for anything that isn’t strictly yours, Bellatrix. I raised you to be better than this. Oh for fucks sake— look at me when I talk to you!” Her father’s voice had started to make her ears ring due to its volume as he grabbed her collar. “Narcissa! Andromeda! Your rooms, now, while I deal with your sister.” He commanded, and Narcissa and Andromeda quickly left the room and ran upstairs.
***
“Black? Trix? BELLATRIX!” Rita Skeeter whisper-yelled, as she snapped in Bellatrix’s face, forcing her to regain her attention. “What!?” Bellatrix hissed out. “You were going all batty. C’mon class is over.” Rita said as she neatly folded her notes and put them and her quill in her school bag. “Oh shit— sorry,” Bellatrix said, shaking her head and gathering her belongings. “Any homework?” She asked. “Just review the theory because next lesson we’re having a practical exam on turning water to wine.”
Bellatrix nodded and they started to make their way out of the classroom. Bellatrix took out her time table. “Oh thank God— that was my last class for the day.” Rita groaned, “Lucky, I still have Care of Magical Creatures.” Bella chuckled, “I don’t understand why you would even take that class, Kettleburn is bonkers.” Rita sighed, “My dear father thought it would be useful.”
“I’m gonna head back to the common room. I’ll see you at dinner?” Bellatrix asked. Rita nodded. “See ya Trixie.” Bellatrix waved goodbye and started walking back to the common room.
She was in her fifth year now, if there ever was a time to stop zoning out in class like an idiot, then it was now. She needed to pay attention in class so she could properly prepare for her O.W.L.s, and she didn’t even want to think about what her parents would say if she didn’t do well. Her grades were fine, but Narcissa and Andromeda— hell, even Sirius and Regulus— brought home better grades than she did.
Her spellwork was good, great even, but her theoretical knowledge? That was where she struggled. She could hex you easily, but probably couldn’t explain why it would work the way it did. And even if her spellwork was good, there was always someone better. She had no idea how she would possibly score well enough on her O.W.L.s to continue in the classes she liked.
She bit her cheek. That was another thing. Career meetings were at the start of the next term, and she had absolutely no idea what she wanted to pursue in her N.E.W.T.s. She was the eldest Black daughter; she probably wouldn’t have a career. Her future likely entailed serving a husband selected by her parents and raising their children. While the thought made her want to vomit, her future was dictated from the day she was born.
Bellatrix rounded a corner and headed down the stairs into the dungeon. She approached the wall where the doors should appear. “Baneberry,” she said and a snake trailed around the wall revealing the entrance to the common room, and she quickly entered.
Inside, she immediately recognized her cousin Regulus, who was talking with the Crouch boy he was friends with. Bellatrix was quite fond of the crowd Regulus surrounded himself with— much better than the half-breed and blood traitors Sirius demanded to hang around. Regulus gave her a nod as she passed, and she returned with a small wave before rushing through to the Girls’ Dormitories.
When she got to her dorm, however, she noticed something weird. Her name was no longer engraved on the small wood plank that usually listed who was in what room. Instead, a small letter was on the door, marked with her name. She yanked it off of the door, and started to read it.
Bellatrix D. Black,
I hope this letter finds you well, I’ve moved you to the second fifth year Girls’ dorm due to a student in the other dorm requesting to be moved. You are not in trouble, and were randomly selected to move. Your belongings have already been moved to your new dormitory. I know you will work hard to excel wherever you are put, and I hope this change does not prove destructive.
Professor H. Slughorn, Head of Slytherin House
Bellatrix groaned. Great, just great. That meant she was no longer with Rita or Emma. She was horrid with change, and definitely not great with new people. She didn’t really know anyone in the other dorm, except maybe a name or two. Nothing beyond that. She sighed and turned across the hall to the other dorm, where her name was now engraved in gold on the plaque. She pushed the door open, and looked for her belongings.
She managed to luck out— her stuff was on the bed closest to the window. She never understood why there were windows in the dungeons, but she always found the lights from the Black Lake comforting.
She threw her school bag on her bed and slipped her cloak off, folding it and setting it aside before sitting on her bed. Her anxiety started to rise— she no longer had a connection with anyone in her dorm. And while she was used to being in an environment where she was at risk, she nearly always had someone she could trust or rely on with her. At home she had her sisters in combat with her parents, and, before she moved dorms, she had Rita and Emma by her side. Even if it wasn’t their fault- Bellatrix felt abandoned. She hated that feeling more than anything.
She started panicking slightly. What if this was it? If she wasn’t seeing Rita and Emma as much, what if they left her? What if as soon as she wasn’t constantly in their lives, what if they noticed how fucked up she was and left her behind? No. No she couldn’t let that happen. She could feel her skin starting to heat up and her breaths quicken. She got up and ran to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her before she fell to her knees.
She felt tears starting to well up in her eyes. No, don’t cry. You’re fucking pathetic, Bellatrix— She yanked on her hair, trying to stop the tears threatening to fall. Her whole body was prickling, all she wanted was for it— for everything— to stop.
***
A girl—who Bellatrix assumed was one of her new roommates— knocked on the door. “You’re crying.” Wow. Thanks for pointing out the obvious. “Do you want me to come in and help you or just leave you be?”