The proposal
Holtzmann wondered into the room, not ceremonially, her heart pounding at a hundred miles per hour.
She didn’t have a ring or a written down long speech. She couldn’t do this as she had planned, all extravaganza, in somewhere far more romantic than the apartment she and Erin only recently started sharing.
This was also much sooner than the engineer had expected. They’d only been dating for a few months. In fact, their four month anniversary was in a week.
But Holtz had wanted to do this since day one. They didn’t have much time or any planning at all and she didn’t know if Erin would agree to this at all.
But she had to do this.
And she wanted to do this, after all, she just wished she had more time.
Erin was sprawled on the couch, hair in a messy bun. There was still a bit of mascara smeared under her eyes from last night. Nothing said fancy or perfect about her right now and yet she was the most beautiful creature on the planet just like this.
Perhaps this wasn’t the worst timing after all. Yes, Holtz felt guilty for not giving Erin the proposal she deserved but honestly, this was the woman she wanted to marry, this was the woman she loved and the most beautiful person she had come across in her life time.
There’d been so much pain in the past few days. Tear-filled eyes and fears, hurt and comfort, it had been a rollercoaster of emotions for both of them.
But in this moment, Jillian didn’t care. She didn’t care about the election and how afraid she truly was. All she cared about was the amazing, beautiful woman in front of her.
A deep breath.
You can do this, Holtz.
“Hi.” She smiled. That made Erin look up from her chosen spot on the floor that she’d been staring at for quite a while now, up to Holtzmann, leaning against the doorframe, a hopeful smile tugging in the corners of her lips, her dimple showing ever so slightly.
Erin smiled. She was as terrified as anyone else. But as long as she had Holtzmann, she was going to be okay and she knew that.
And no one could take Holtzmann away from her.
No one could force Holtzmann to change herself, she would always be her quirky, stunning, breathtaking and crazy in the most brilliant way self. And no one could take that away.
She loved her and no one could take that away, there was nothing anyone could do to stop them from loving each other.
Erin knew they could take a lot from them. And to some extent she would accept that.
They can take my rights. They can hurt me and beat me, they can make me bleed and make me cry, they can discriminate and hate me, they can take my life away if they so wish. But God help them if they dare go after her.
“Hi.”
Holtzmann exhaled heavily and a nervous giggle escaped her lips.
They cannot take away her laugh. They can’t make me stop loving her laughter.
“Here goes…” She walked up to Erin, switching on the music on her phone, not as loud as usual and not the usual tune either. This was sweet, romantic… soft. Instrumental.
She brought the blood red rose from behind her back, placed neatly on a heart-shaped box of chocolates. She might have not had much time to prepare and perhaps she wasn’t dressed fully for the occasion, perhaps the location was not the very best but Jillian Holtzmann would damn her own name if she didn’t do this as a gentlewoman.
The room was lit by the streetlights shining in through the window and a small lamp with a soft glow to it in the corner of it.
Erin stood up, surprised as Holtzmann smiled, now widely. It was a nervous smile, the cutest possible motion on the planet, Erin thought.
Holtz cleared her throat.
Now or never, Holtz.
“Hey Ez… So, I don’t have a ring. And I don’t have the perfect location or perfect timing, the perfect speech or the perfect anything. But what I’ve realized in these past few days is that not having these perfect things doesn’t matter to me as long as I have you… And I know it’s early…”
She chuckled softly.
“Very, very early. But Erin Gilbert, I have been wanting to do this since day one. I don’t want to put any pressure on you, you don’t have to say yes, I’ll understand completely but… in the light of the latest… events… I want to do this as long as we have the chance.
So, Erin Gilbert, will you let me be the wife to the most wonderful, brilliant, breathtaking person I have ever met? Will you marry me?”
She smiled hopefully, handing a shocked Erin the rose.
“Of course, we don’t have to, if you don’t have to-”
Erin silenced her with a passionate kiss. When she pulled back, their foreheads still touching, feeling each other’s breaths, she whispered a “Yes.”
“Yes. I want to get married. I’d love to get married. I love you so much, Jillian, no politician can ever come between us, I promise.”
She started laughing, tears of happiness rolling down her cheeks. Holtzmann wiped them away with her thumb.
“I was actually uh… I was just researching earlier, online, on getting married in New York, all we need is an officiant and a marriage license.”
Holtz placed the box of chocolates on the couch, followed by Erin’s hand resting the rose on it and her fingers intertwined with Erin’s.
“We’re getting married.” She was not crying, her eyes were just… sweating.
Erin nodded, not even bothering to mask the tears of joy decorating the corners of her eyes.
“We’re getting married.” Her voice was high-pitched with excitement and joy.
Holtzmann couldn’t stop smiling.
Erin let go of Holtz’s right hand and led them to the bedroom where she picked up her computer and opened the New York City Clerk page and patted the spot on the bed next to her as a cue for Holtzmann to sit down. Holtz did.
“Basically, we have to show up to the Office of the City Clerk and fill out the application. So, then we’ll get a Marriage License, it’s…” she scrolled up.
“…35 dollars. And then we just need a Marriage Officiant.”
Holtzmann smiled, curiously.
“Well, someone’s done their research well…” A playful smirk tugging on her lips. Erin blushed.
Of course she’d studied this. Holtzmann had saved her the anxiety over proposing.
We’re getting married.
Even though the past few days had been filled with tears and being afraid, this moment was not clouded by any negative emotions. There was only joy, happiness, there was love.
And despite being completely imperfect this was perfect in it’s own way.