Set II
Carmilla took the first card, slowly reading a question trying to get into a more serious mode, “If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?”
“Hmmm, I guess I would just want to know if I’m happy”, Laura looked at the other girl like she was searching for approval of her answer.
Carmilla nodded, “yeah, I guess I would want that too”, she softly admitted.
“After all, don’t we all just want to be happy?”, Laura pondered out loud and Carmilla just shrugged because this kind of topic could get really dark really fast and she just wanted to keep her conversation with pretty blonde light.
The brunette reached again and took another card, “Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?”
“Tattoo”, Laura blurted, “I always wanted to get a tattoo, but I’m terrified of needles, sharp objects in general. They make me twitchy”.
“What kind of tattoo?”, Carmilla stopped for a second, “please don’t tell me you would put a giant cupcake on your body, or a cookie of some kind”, she started laughing.
“Hey! Mean!”, blonde showed the other girl playfully, “actually, I wanted to do a Latin saying – Memento Mori, it means…”, she was interrupted by Carmilla.
“Remember your mortality or remember that you have to die.”
“Of course that you know Latin, pretentious little philosopher”, Laura teased expecting a snarky replay from Carmilla, but the other girl just leaned and lifted her shirt showing the blonde neatly written words on her skin, making Laura flustered.
“Vir sapit qui pauca loquitur, it means it is a wise man who speaks little", Carmilla explained, “I have a few more of those but I’m afraid that your heart can’t take seeing them cupcake”.
Laura rolled her eyes, “so, you didn’t answer the question, don’t think that you could distract me with your shirt shenanigans Carm. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?”
“We are still at that”, brunette deadpanned, “I’ve wanted to publish a book for a while now. I just don’t think I’m ready for people to read what I wrote. But I want to, I really do, it will just take a little more time to let it go to the real world”.
“You wrote a book? What kind of book? Is it philosophy book? When did you write it? Is it finished?”
“Easy there cutie… Yes, I wrote a book, I wrote two books, one a collection of poems, that one is done and the other is a collection of short stories I’ve been writing since I was a teen. That one needs a little bit of tweaking.”
Satisfied with the answer Laura just nodded and offered a small smile. She was faster this time snatching a card right in front of the brunette’s hand, “What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?”
“Probably being alive cutie”, Carmilla joked.
“Be serious Carm”, the journalist said.
“I am being serious”, she tried keeping a serious face failed.
“I’m not getting an answer here am I?”, Carmilla just shook her head, “Fine, be a grumpy child. I however will tell you that one of my greatest accomplishments in life is being a person that my dad is proud of”. They were quiet for a few seconds just smirking at each other, until Laura again picked up the card. “What do you value most in a friendship? And I’m going to need a real answer here Carm”.
“Loyalty, honesty, respect. Friendships should be seen as a family that we choose so as a family, they should support you, respect you and they should stand by you when life gets hard…”
“Yeah… I agree…”
“You can’t just agree with me cupcake I want to hear your answer”, it was Carmilla’s turn to mess with Laura.
“Fine… I don’t like when people hover, when they are constantly in a state of emergency and treat me like a child. My friends and I, we are equals, they should not walk around me like I would break. I hate that.”
“If it’s any consolation, I think you can conquer the world Laura, if you really wanted to”, surprised by her own sudden confession Carmilla quickly reached for the next question. “What is your most treasured memory?”
“It’s kind of a bitter-sweet memory to be honest, but it has a special place in my heart. I was standing at the front doors with my dad, saying goodbye, picking my last bag and dropping it into a car, and as we hugged and I started walking away from him I realized that nothing will ever be the same, that my life is changing every literal step that I take, it was overwhelming but beautiful”, Laura smiled as she remembered, “how about you? What’s your most treasured memory?”
“I was in a library we had at home, looking through books, hundreds and hundreds of books. There was a golden print on one black book that looked very old, so I pulled it out and started reading. It was the biggest book I have ever seen. And I read it, and read it for days, when I finished, I realized that philosophy was something that could save me. Pull me out of the restrictions, out of that created an image of being a perfect daughter. That’s the day I fell in love with reading about what ifs and when, where and whys.”
Laura was smitten, carefully watching as Carmilla talked about books and philosophy with a childlike smile on her face, so peaceful, happy. “What is your most terrible memory? Hmmm, these are just going happy-sad I see”, blonde joked, leaving the card next to those already answered.
Carmilla brood over this question longer that she would like to admit, “I have this image in my head that won’t leave me alone, I don’t know if it’s the most terrible memory but it invokes the most terrible feelings in me. It was a summer day, a couple of days after my mom died and I was in a car waiting for some social worker that was chatting outside to take me somewhere. I remember that I was shaking, like I was cold even though it was a hot July day. I didn’t know I was leaving my home for good, I was not aware of that, not entirely, at least, but I knew my life was going to change so much. Sometimes I dream of it, and when I do, I usually try to stay inside for a day just so I could be with myself”. She slumped her shoulders, not looking at Laura’s eyes, eyes that were starting to get teary. She squeezed Carmilla’s hand and slowly spoke.
“Mine was learning about my dad’s accident. I was home doing some homework when a phone rang and a lady from a hospital told me that my dad was in a car accident. I don’t remember how I got to the hospital or how much time did I spent in a waiting room, all I remember is ringing in my ears and the constant inability to take a breath”, the blonde’s steady voice was cut short when the other girl hugged her tightly. They stayed like that for a while, and when Carmilla was completely sure that the girl she was still hugging was okay she asked the next question.
“If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?”
“I guess I would spend more time with people I care about, I would tell them I love them more, everything else is just the way it suppose to be”, Laura smiled softly.
“I agree with you cupcake on this one”.
“What does friendship mean to you?” Laura asked the next one.
“Didn’t we already have that one?”, brunette pointed out. “I don’t have a lot of friends, as I told you, but those that are my friends are my family. I care for them, so friendship for me is being a part of somebody’s family as they are part of yours.”
“Nicely put Carm”, blonde now pulled out of Carmilla’s arms and squeezed her hand, “friends are my family too, they are people that love me for me and they don’t have a secret agenda.”
“What roles do love and affection play in your life?”, blonde read the question.
“Well, as you may have guessed cupcake I’m not big on love and affection”, Laura interrupted Carmilla.
“Oh shush! I bet you are a big softie underneath all that broodiness”, and she gave the brunette a big, bright smile.
“Yeah, you got me there Lauronica Mars”, Carmilla mocked her, “so as I was saying, it was never a big part of my life, sometimes, when I meet somebody that could be good for me, in a form of a friend, let’s be clear about that, I get cold, uninterested. I think I’m not made to be a warm and loving person, that’s just not me”, she shrugged when she answered.
“Who knows, maybe you haven’t found the right person to be warm and loving with”, Laura added with a smile. “Well, I think love is a thing that we all should experience, some of us get that big once in a lifetime kind of love and some of us get those short but memorable loves, it’s all good as long as we love. And affection, well, I like a good hug as any other girl, but I’m a cuddler”, she pointed out seriously, making Carmilla chuckle.
Carmilla took the next one and read it out loud, “Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items. Cutie are you ready for some charming compliments?”, she asked with a flirty voice.
“ Do your best grumpy pants…”
“Your enthusiasm is endearing”, she spoke softly,”Your passion for ordinary things is fascinating. That bunched up little face you make when you're angry is hilarious, buttercup”, Carmilla winked at Laura, making the other girl roll her eyes. “Your beauty is captivating. And your dedication to work is admirable”, she stopped, looking Laura straight in the eyes, making the other girl blush slightly. “Did I leave Laura Hollis speechless?”, she mocked.
Laura scoffed, “You are smooth-talker. And yes, that’s a compliment. You are unbelievably smart, like pass our age, born in another century, lived a hundred lives smart. You are sexy”, Laura hoped that if she dropped that one in the middle of her answer that it will pass unnoticed. “Your dedication to your friends and family is admirable, even though you say you don’t do affection, it’s clear that you care a lot for those people. You are so strong”, she smiled weakly, and hoping that Carmilla was pleased with her answer.
“So you think I’m sexy?”, the brunette asked with a smirk on her face.
“Of course that you would fixate on that”, Laura stated.
Carmilla just kept on smirking reaching for the next question, “How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?”
“I don’t know how other kids lived Carm, this is a hard question”, blonde whined. “I guess I liked my childhood, it had its ups and downs but I turned alright. And my family is really close and warm. They all get together for a family lunch once a week and when I go home they all get so invested in my life it gets kind of weird. But good, it feels like a family, like home”, Laura explained.
“That’s nice cupcake, it seems like they make you happy.”
“They do, but they make me crazy other times”, Laura admitted.
“Well, that’s family”, they both chuckled, “my childhood was normal, happy I guess, I had a lot of chores to do, a lot of classes to attend from a very young age. And my family well if I count LaF in that family, and I do, my family is loud and annoying. But they are supportive and caring so I keep them around”, Carmilla sounded careless.
“How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?”, Laura reads the next one.
“Did some shrink think of the questions? I mean C’mon…” Carmilla huffed, “but seriously, I don’t think I talked about my mother this much in my entire adult life. Our relationship now is nonexistent and I like it that way.”
“Yeah questions are made to annoy you Carm”, Laura joked, “well my mom and I had a normal mother – daughter relationship I guess. She was loving and caring and happy.”
They both were silent for some time, thinking about the people they lost, about life that was lost with them. They thought about the other person sitting in the room. A person that could understand the feelings of lost and sorrow perfectly.