It’s 2016. Almost 2017, actually. 38 days to Christmas, too.
Patty knows this because the morning after what Holtzmann excitedly declared “Halloween Eve”, Erin had put up the Christmas decorations as well as the countdown calendar in their building. The other Ghostbusters had criticized the sudden switch to Christmas Everywhere upon entering the front door the first of November. Except Holtz, who had walked in, gasped, had said “nice!” and high-fived Erin before giving her a quick kiss and running upstairs to her lab, mumbling something incoherent about ‘unstable machines’. Patty had eyed them from the open kitchen, sipping her coffee and glaring because it was too damn early.
“38 days to Christmas!” is the second thing Erin says when she enters their building, the first being “good morning!” Abby and Patty greet her. Holtz smiles fondly at her. “Babe, you’re late.”
“Uh, oh, yeah, it’s… there was this thing? That happened? On my way over here.” Erin says, frowning slightly. “Anyway, I’m here now.” She says.
“What is it?” Patty inquires.
Erin clears her throat. “Right. So, Holtz babe, remember our next door neighbor Ella, the middle-aged lady? Right after you left, she came over to our apartment in distress because apparently she has a cat—”
Holtz makes a surprised face. “So that’s the noises we hear so much!”
“Yeah,” Erin says. “So her cat, whose name is Ruby, is pregnant. And Ella came to me because she hadn’t noticed and she never really had time to take care of the poor cat either, and asked me of all people to help her.”
Abby interrupts this time. “Before you tell us you’re gonna adopt the cat and let it live here, I hope you haven’t forgotten I’m allergic to them.”
“I haven’t told her anything like that.” Erin looks at Holtz, who’s looking at Erin with wide eyes, head propped up on her hand. “Yet. The cat and the kittens would be free though. Oh my god, babe, imagine,” Erin says. Holtzmann grins at her.
Patty regards the two critically. “Seriously, y’all? That’s like, for a lesbian couple, the same thing as adopting a kid, isn’t it?”
“Wow, way to stereotype lesbians, Patty.” Abby says in mock defense.
“I would like to just… point out that I’m not a lesbian.” Erin says.
“I am!”
“We know, Holtz.”
Holtz looks very pleased with herself. She grins at Patty. “You know you love me, Pattycakes,” She says in a funny voice.
“Whatever. Just know that I ain’t gonna take care of it,” Patty says.
Patty is at her own apartment, relaxing and having a nice Saturday afternoon when her phone pings. She opens the message. It’s from the Ghostbusters group chat (which Holtz named ‘Spooky Ladies’ followed by a bunch of emoji). Erin sent a text saying ‘gueeesss what…..’
Abby [5:21 p.m.]: what
The message that follows is a picture of Holtzmann sitting cross-legged on the floor of her and Erin’s apartment, wearing an MIT hoodie and sweatpants, laughing at the camera because right on top of her head, a small kitten has made a nest in her hair and has apparently fallen asleep.
Erin [5:23 p.m.]: so remember two months ago when we talked about adopting Ruby the pregnant cat? Well… we didn’t adopt her… but the kittens are adorable and we adopted one and named it Theo.
Holtzy [5:23 p.m.]: he’s gonna be the fifth ghostbuster
Patty yells.
Patty [5:24 p.m.]: OH MY GOD
Abby [5:24 p.m.]: really did it huh
Holtzy [5:25 p.m..]: ya
Abby [5:25 p.m.]: so are you guys like married now?!
Holtzy [5:25 p.m.]: ya
Patty [5:26 p.m.]: WHAT!!!!!!
Erin [5:26 p.m.]: Babe! Guys, she’s kidding.
Holtzy [5.26 p.m.]: ;)
Holtzy [5.26 p.m.]: just you wait…
“Jeez,” Patty mumbles, shaking her head at the ridiculousness of her friends. She puts her phone away and resumes reading her book about the history of the New York City underground. Her phone pings again two hours later.
Erin [7.30 p.m.]: love you
Abby [7.33 p.m.]: gross
Abby [7.33 p.m.]: just kidding you two are the best and I hope you’re happy forever
It’s very easy to take care of a cat if you don’t own it, is what Patty and Abby find out over the course of the next few weeks. Theo the kitten is getting very spoiled by all four of them. Holtzmann, ever the inventor, even made a mini Ghostbusters-suit and a teeny tiny proton pack to go with it, which she swore isn’t operative. Patty doesn’t really believe her. Abby can’t actually come within a 5 feet radius of the hyperactive ball of hair, but she gives Erin new, different cat food every week, “for science”, she says.
One time, Holtz sneaks Theo with her to the lab, where she’s made a special ‘Cat Zone’ so the small animal can’t electrocute itself. Patty and Abby (and Kevin, kind of, but he doesn’t actively register a lot of things) find out Holtz has taken Theo to her lab because she and Erin don’t come downstairs for their weekly take-out dinner. When they try to locate them, Patty finds all three of them in the corner of Holtz’ lab, Erin just holding the kitten whilst Holtz babbles to it as if it’s a baby.
“Wow. I’m just… gonna leave you at it… we have food downstairs,” she laughs, shaking her head when she walks back downstairs, where she tells Abby the two lovebirds are obsessed with their child. Abby points at her. “See! I told you! They’re practicing for the real thing, I’m telling ya.”
“I’m pretty sure this is the real thing for them,” Patty says.
Abby stares pensively ahead. “Do you know if they’re gonna get like, engaged, any time soon? I mean, I know they’re happy, but...”
“I know!” Patty says. “We should set them up or something. No, that would be bad. We should leave hints.”
“We’re pretty much already doing that, though,” Abby says. “I just hope it’s because they’re taking their time.”
Patty hums in agreement. She sends a text to the group chat.
Patty [8:52 p.m.] @ Erin and Holtzy baby i know how cute he is but please come down and collect ur food before i eat it!!!
Holtzy [8:55 p.m.]: the only man who will ever have my heart
What follows is an over the top, in Patty’s opinion, ‘emoji heart battle’ by Erin and Holtz. Patty gets up from her chair and yells upstairs, “come and get down now! I know you two are just sitting next to each other on your phone anyway!”
To which Holtz yells in response, “aaalright.”
It happens a few weeks later. “It” being Erin and Holtz’ engagement. Erin and Holtz walk through the front door of the firehouse all giggly and touchy and Patty wonders aloud if they just had good morning sex or if something else happened. Abby tells her off for it. Continues to ask Erin if something happened between the two of them.
Turns out, something happened.
It happened just at their apartment, Erin says, looking at Holtz, both furiously blushing. Disgustingly in love, Patty thinks fondly. She wonders when it’s her time, but for now she couldn’t be happier for her two best friends.
“So, tell me the story one more time,” Patty says, the love and happiness positively affecting her mood as well.
Holtz clears her throat and looks over at Erin, still absolutely glowing. “We just got out of bed, put on our bathrobes and everything and Erin was making coffee when I asked her to be my wife.”
“How did you ask her?” Abby asks.
“Well, I, uh, just did. Erin turned around and handed me the coffee cup and I said, ‘marry me’, and she just blushed and then I turned serious and she blushed even more.” Holtz says. She looks at Erin slyly and smiles in a very unlike ‘Holtz’ manner. Genuine smiles suit her, Patty thinks.
“Then I said yes,” Erin says. “Just so we’re all on the same page.”
Patty and Abby both go ‘aww’ at the same time. Erin pulls Holtz closer. Places her hand on the side of Holtz’ face and kisses her, slowly.
Patty clears her throat. “Abby, I have, uh, something I need to talk with you about,” she says, leaving Holtz and Erin in their own little bubble of pure bliss.
It’s going to be a spring wedding. Which means: flowers! Holtzmann persisted on growing her own flowers for the wedding, but Erin managed to shut her up by showing her the work of the best bridal florist in New York City. The two of them are seated at the kitchen table in the firehouse with empty cups of coffee and big binders full of wedding inspiration. (Holtz tried to name it ‘wedspo’ but both Abby and Patty demanded she never use that word ever again.)
Patty’s reading a book someone at her favorite vintage library recommended to her, and she's listening to Holtzmann and Erin bicker about the wedding. They’re reading through countless advertisements for wedding stuff quietly, sometimes touching the other’s hand to say “babe, look”. Patty thinks that Erin says “babe, look” when she actually sees something interesting and useful and Holtz uses that just to point out a cat or other animal or even, once, she points out good looking Chinese food. Patty knows this because Erin had exasperatedly called out “Holtz! That’s not even wedding related! That’s just a Chinese restaurant folder,” to which Holtz had looked confused and had then let out a knowing “ah… right.” Holtz had paused, had really looked at the folder, and had said “you know what, I think this is Benny’s restaurant.”
Anyway. All Patty can gather, because she’s not the wedding planner, is that Erin and Holtz leave a lot of the wedding ‘open for suggestion’ (Holtz’ words) and that it’s going to be ‘floral’ (Erin’s words). She and Abby are the first two persons who get a wedding invite, handwritten by both of them. To celebrate, Patty and Abby take them out for drinks as an unofficial bachelorette party. It’s still three weeks until the wedding, but they find it necessary for the couple’s sanity to relax and unwind a little. Holtz had promised to Patty in a low voice that she and Erin knew hot to relax and unwind, to which Patty had just pushed her forward on the street, telling her to keep walking.
They play a little drinking game called ‘just have a conversation and if you mention the wedding you have to take a shot’ and when the evening’s coming to an end, both Holtz and Erin are very drunk. It’s not very surprising, Patty thinks, that Holtz is a vivacious drunk and Erin is a messy drunk. Which means that Holtz moves over to Erin’s side of the booth when the physicist starts to sniff about everything in her life and promptly starts to make out with her fiancée. She places her knees on both sides of Erin’s thighs, grabs her face and kisses her.
Patty and Abby protest. “Come on now, guys. Keep it in your jorts.” Abby says.
Which appears to be a safe word, because Holtz starts laughing, loudly, and can’t stop. Erin joins her. They’re holding on to each other whilst laughing because they don’t look like they could sit upright otherwise. Patty exchanges a glance with Abby and it’s decided that they should call a cab for the two of them.
Holtzmann pouts. “But we’re having fun, Pattycakes!” She says a little bit too loudly, slurring her words slightly. Next to her, Erin’s wiping the tears of laughter from her eyes, when suddenly she remembers that Abby said “keep it in your jorts,” and it starts all over again.
Patty shakes her head. Where would these two be without their best friends?
It’s a spring wedding.
Patty has to wipe away a few tears at the sight of seeing her two best friends so in love, so happy, so beautiful when they’re getting ready for the ceremony. Holtzmann is in her dressing room, fidgeting nervously with her tie on the flowery suit she’s wearing. Of course they’re not traditional, Patty thinks. Never been. The engineer is wearing her hair up in an intricate ‘do, but done by the professional hands of a hairdresser so it doesn’t quite look the same as her usual style. Underneath the greenish flowery suit, she’s wearing shiny oxford shoes. It’s stunning, perfectly Holtzmann.
“Baby, stop touching the bowtie,” Patty says, looking at Holtzmann via the full-length mirror.
“I… is it too much? I said I’d wear one because of the tiny bowtie thing Erin had going on for her at the beginning of all this but I think it might be too much. Oh god Patty what if that will be the first crack in our brand-new marriage?” Holtzmann rambles, nervously.
“Looking good and being too thoughtful? Never heard people getting divorced over that. You shouldn’t worry, it’s gonna be great. Now take a mint.”
“Thanks,” Holtzmann mumbles, taking the mint and grinning at her friend. “This is gonna be great. Gonna kick ass. Gonna be the best wife!” Holtzmann punches the air swiftly. She starts humming the Pokémon theme song, and Patty can’t manage to shut her up so she just gives the engineer a pat on her shoulder before leaving the room.
She meets Abby as she comes out of Holtz’ dressing room. “How’s Erin doing?” Patty asks. Abby raises her eyebrows. “Strangely, she seems fine. She seems very sure about all this.”
Patty grins. “Man! I’m so excited. This is the best thing to happen in years.”
“I know!” Abby says. “We won’t recover from this, I’m telling you. Oh! Erin asked for your opinion on her dress, so…”
Erin’s dress is incredible. It’s not a white wedding dress but it’s long and dark green, made from some soft kind of material that Patty has no knowledge of, and suits Erin and her figure and dark brown hair perfectly. She tells Erin so.
Erin scoffs. “Thank you, Patty. You know, I was worrying that it might be a little bit too much, but I’m just too enthusiastic about getting to spend the rest of my life with my favorite person to care.” She turns and hugs Patty for a solid minute before checking the clock and saying with wide eyes that it’s time.
The ceremony is incredible, because of course it is. Even Benny is there, on the second row. Kevin brought his boyfriend as his plus one and the front row is reserved for Patty, Abby and other family members of either Holtz or Erin. Patty can pick which ones are Holtz’ relatives, because they all carry themselves with a very alike attitude. She’s pretty sure it’s one of Holtz’ cousins who’s slumped in his chair wearing slightly appropriate wedding clothes but with socks that have the Ghostbusters logo on it. Erin’s family is dressed formally, how any ‘normal’ person would dress for a wedding. Kind of boring, Patty decides. She doesn’t like Erin’s family because they don’t appreciate the physicist the way they should. The woman’s a genius, for God’s sake, she helped save the world from an apocalypse.
Patty doesn’t linger too long on these negative thoughts, because there Erin and Holtz are, standing in front of each other and in front of all the people who are important to them. Abby hands her a tissue.
“My babies,” Patty whispers, wiping away her tears of joy. Next to her, Abby softly blows her nose.
Erin and Holtzmann exchange a lingering kiss after saying “I do,” and all is right in the world.
When everyone has settled down, Erin clinks her glass with a small fork and calls for a speech.
“Hi, everyone, I wanted to thank you all for coming to what has been one of the best days in my life so far…” She chuckles nervously, before going on, “and I think there will be many other days to come where I will feel as happy and loved by everyone around me, especially you, Jillian. There are going to be rough times, but I’m positive that with you by my side we can do everything and I love, adore and appreciate you so much.” Erin smiles.
Holtz is beaming at this point, saying “that’s my wife!” and the crowd laughs.
“Now, as Holtzmann – Jillian – has said earlier, the purpose of life is to love, and to love is what you have shown me. I want to thank you for that and I think it’s clear from this wedding alone but you’re my person and I just—I’m rambling at this point but I love you. So much. Uh, thank you. Have a great reception you guys, Holtz said the cake is awesome, so,” Erin concludes her speech, blushing and ducking as she returns to her seat. She kisses Holtz and the audience goes ‘aww’ again and starts cheering. Patty yells, “you two are my best friends and I love you!” to which Abby goes, “yeah!” and Holtzmann and Erin grin at both of them, Erin sticking her tongue out at her best friends.
The four of them have a toast. “To the gaybusters!” Patty says, the four of them laughing.
“To Erin and Holtzmann!”