It had been coming for a few days, the weather men had said on the radio, but the first flakes didn't fall until after Therese got off the subway that night on the first day of December.
Immediately, she tipped her head up and let the cold, feathery flakes kiss her cheeks and tangle in her eyelashes. While Therese hated to be cold, and while she was quite aware that some of her colleagues took the same train she did and could potentially be watching her, she couldn't resist poking her tongue out and catching a snowflake. As she did so, she caught the eye of an older gentlemen at the bodega across the street. He gave her a wide, amused grin, and though Therese blushed, she couldn't help but grin back.
"It won't stick," said a man beside her, authoritatively. "It's just too warm for snow to stick this time of year." The woman beside him nodded positively, but Therese made a face and moved away from them. It wasn't certain that the snow wouldn't stick. People were such pessimists sometimes!
Therese shivered a little in the cold, feeling her wet diaper press against her clammily, and suddenly wanted Carol and home. Hurrying down the street towards the apartment building, she wondered if Carol would make chicken soup tonight to warm them up, or even better, some tomato soup and grilled cheese. Therese's thumb twitched at her side as she thought about cuddling up, warm and dry, with Carol in front of the television set while the snow fell all around them. It sounded heavenly. She pretended to bite her nail as she bent her head into the rising storm, but she really gave the tip of her thumb a few quick sucks while she walked briskly past the little corner store that the Zimmermans owned.
Mrs. Zimmerman was standing outside the door, squinting up at the sky, and she caught sight of Therese and crowed happily. "Theresa! Come in for a moment, I have something I want to give to you and your auntie."
Her thick Russian accent was sometimes hard to understand, and Therese had never had the heart to correct Mrs. Zimmerman on the pronunciation of her name. The couple was so sweet and always kept back a bar of chocolate or other treat for Carol and Therese, as a thank-you for doing nearly all of their business there. Therese had just been in the other day, picking up a bottle of milk.
The warmth of the store was comforting after the cold of the day, but Therese was still shivery and she felt her diaper warm a little as she wet involuntarily from all the shivering. Mrs. Zimmerman gave her a sympathetic look. "You should be wearing a thicker scarf, child; you must be freezing. Poor little chicken." She clucked around Therese, much like a chicken herself, and ducked behind the counter to present Therese with a peppermint stick - no, not a stick, a candy cane!
Therese's face lit up. "Oh, Mrs. Zimmerman, you shouldn't have!"
"And why not to see that smile on your face? It's the first batch of the season and I knew just who to give one to. No, no," Mrs. Zimmerman protested, waving away Therese's offer of a quarter, "go and enjoy it with your auntie. And give her my best."
"Of course," Therese breathed. She lit up as, a little out of character, she gave Mrs. Zimmerman an impulsive hug. "Thank you very much!"
"Of course, lamb. Go on upstairs and get your supper."
Mrs. Zimmerman waved Therese out of the store and Therese noticed that the snow had gotten thicker even in the few moments she'd been in the little corner store. She turned into the lobby of her apartment building and hurried up the stairs, excited to finally see Carol and show her the candy cane.
Therese burst into the apartment. "Carol! Carol!"
Carol came out of the kitchen, dressed in a warm woolen dress and thick tights, drying her hands. "Goodness, Therese, you were like a herd of elephants coming up the stairs. How are you, darling?" She came over to give Therese a hug and a kiss. "Oh, my! Your cheeks are so cold! It's getting nasty out there, isn't it?"
"It's snowing, Carol!" Therese, her face rosy and her blue-green eyes bright, elicited a fond smile from Carol.
"Yes, angel; I know. I walked home from the train as it started a little earlier." Carol unbuttoned Therese's coat for her and unwound her scarf. "You must be freezing! Your little hands are like ice." Carol kissed Therese's hands and warmed them between her big, comforting palms.
"I'm so cold," Therese murmured, and then snuggled into Carol, who kissed her cheeks, forehead, and hair, and finally ended up on her lips.
"What a snuggly little one," Carol murmured back, and then she patted Therese's bottom through her skirt. "And I imagine you're snuggly because you're wet. And hungry, too, aren't you?"
Therese squirmed a little under Carol's touch. "Carol, can't we have soup tonight? It's so nice and warm."
"Of course we can, sweetie. I was thinking we'd have just that very thing. I was making a salad, actually, when you came in. I figured we weren't really in the mood for anything more than a light, warm meal, and it is Friday night."
"I can start it!" said Therese, a little overexcited, and went to go into the kitchen, but Carol caught her by the hand.
"Not before we change your diaper and get you a little settled in. You're just a little overexcited because of all this snow." Carol smiled at Therese and kissed her cheek again, pulling her in close. "And besides, I'd like a bit of a snuggle, too . . . I'm feeling rather chilly myself."
"Are you cold?" Therese looked up at Carol. "Can we have a fire?"
"Now, doesn't that sound just lovely? But I think I'd rather wait til after dinner, darling. What I need is a nice warm little girl giving me nice kisses and snuggles . . . " Carol sighed happily as Therese showered kisses all over her neck and cheeks, as far up as she could reach. "Yes, just like that. Aren't you so good at that? What a sweet, thoughtful little one, knowing just what I need."
"I love you," whispered Therese, and then held her arms up to Carol. "Mama, won't you carry me?"
"Carry you?" Carol pretended to look confused. "Did your legs stop working, Therese?"
"No," whined Therese, pouting fetchingly at Carol. "They're just so very tired from walking all the way from the train . . ." Her whine turned into a giggle as Carol swept her up in her arms and held her close and securely. Carol kissed Therese's nose.
"I love you, too. And of course I can carry you if you're just so tired from walking."
They went into the bedroom. Carol patted Therese's bottom again. "Darling, you're soaking wet. I'm amazed you haven't leaked yet."
"I just wet a little more because it was so cold," explained Therese, busily playing with a hair ribbon that Carol had left on the coverlet. "I couldn't help it; my bladder doesn't like the cold."
"Silly bladder," commented Carol, and then blew a raspberry on Therese's tummy as she took off Therese's skirt. Therese burst into laughter.
"Nooooo!"
"Does it . . . tickle?" Carol's eyes sparkled and quick as a flash, she blew another raspberry. Therese's giggles grew louder.
"That's not fair!"
"No?" Carol kissed Therese's tummy instead and took off her plastic pants. "I guess it's not fair. And after you were such a sweet little one, too."
Therese slipped her thumb into her mouth and sucked quietly for awhile, Carol pretending not to notice, while Carol made her clean and dry. Then she helped Therese sit up and went to wash her hands while Therese changed out of the rest of her work clothes. Usually, Therese would put on a pair of pajamas, but today, she put on a soft pair of woolen tights and a dress like Carol's, soft and stretchy. Her diaper showed through adorably, and Carol came back into the room and smiled.
"Not ready for pajamas yet?"
"Well, it's snowing," explained Therese. She didn't say anything else, but Carol nodded slowly.
"Darling, you might not be able to play outside until tomorrow. I don't think it'll stick at this rate."
"It will stick," said Therese stubbornly, walking out of the room and towards the kitchen. "It was coming down much more thickly when I was walking home."
"All right, lovey. Let's get some dinner into you; someone sounds a little bit fussy!"
"Not fussy," grumbled Therese. "Just hungry. Carol, I'm hungry," she whimpered, and Carol reached over and grabbed a roll from the basket on the table, handing it to Therese.
"There you are, fussbudget. Now let me start this soup. Can you set the table, please?"
Soon enough, Therese was eagerly slurping away at her hot tomato soup, getting a bit of it on her face, while Carol ate at a more sedate pace. Carol had just finished talking about her day, and now Therese was eagerly telling her about the new electric Christmas light display that she got to shoot photos of that day.
"It's so beautiful, Carol. We should really go down this weekend. It was like being in a . . . well, in a wonderland or something. Fairyland." Therese rubbed at her face with a paper napkin, but she managed only to smear the soup across her cheek. Carol laughed.
"Therese, you are the messiest eater . . . come here. There." Carol wiped Therese's face for her and smiled at her fondly. "What a silly girl."
Therese, finished with her food, hopped up with her dishes and cleared the table for Carol, too. "Let's light the fire!"
"All right, Therese. You go and see if we have enough kindling; I'm just going to stack the dishes ready for later."
When Carol came into the room, Therese was busily building a tripod of kindling and paper in the fireplace. Though they weren't really allowed to light fires, the building management tended to look the other way, and Therese had already seen the chimneys smoking away as she'd come home from work. There was just something so nice about a lovely fire on a cold evening . . . Therese beamed at Carol as she walked in.
"It's all ready to go!"
Carol came over to inspect Therese's handiwork. "So it is. That's a very neat job, darling."
Therese got up and wandered to the big corner windows of the living room as Carol lit a match and got the fire started. The snow was starting to settle thickly on the grass and sidewalks of the park adjacent, and Therese grinned, a little smugly.
"Well, I guess everyone was wrong," she announced recklessly, as Carol got up from her knees, the fire blazing happily. "The snow is sticking nicely."
"Oh, they were wrong?" Carol came over and twined her arms around Therese, squeezing her securely. Therese loved being held like this, with Carol supporting her comfortingly against her stomach. She laid her head on Carol's shoulder.
Carol kissed Therese's forehead. "I guess you were right. Well, you are such a smart little one, after all." She kissed Therese again and Therese tipped her head up and kissed Carol, longingly, deeply. Then she looked thoughtful.
"Carol . . ."
"Yes, sweetheart?"
"Can't I . . . go out and play? Just for a little while?"
Carol looked a little surprised. "Goodness, Therese, it's almost eight o'clock. You'll want your bath soon, and then you'll be too sleepy to do anything else, and it's nice and warm in here . . ."
"Oh, just for a few minutes? I just . . . I want to do something," Therese trailed off, her voice growing soft. She flushed a little, and Carol tipped her chin up with a warm finger.
"What? Now you're getting bashful with me . . . what is it, darling?"
Therese blushed a little more brightly, and she tipped her face into Carol's shoulder, her voice muffled. "I just want to make a snow angel."
Carol pulled away from Therese a little and gently turned her so that she was facing Carol directly. "Darling, I cannot hear you and I most certainly cannot understand you when your face is in my dress like that. Now. What did you say?"
"I just want . . . to make a snow angel," said Therese in a rush. "I always do when it first snows. I just . . . always have. I know it's silly," she whispered, not looking at Carol, even though she knew Carol was understanding of all of Therese's quirks, much more than anyone else could be.
Carol's face cleared and she looked very soft and loving. "Oh, sweetheart. It's not silly. It's darling, just like you. You are such a sweet and unique and wonderful girl. I love you." And she kissed Therese. "Now, let's get you into your snowsuit so that you can do just that."
They had bought the snowsuits earlier in the year, during a sale, because as Carol said, "I have never taken you skiing, and it is something I most definitely want to do sometime this winter, Therese. And aren't these just the perfect price?" So the cream-coloured, one-piece snow costume had been hidden away in the closet. Therese had almost forgotten what it looked like.
Carol helped Therese into it, zipping her up securely. Therese had never really worn a snowsuit before, and the extra padding between her legs and around her hips felt strange, just like she had felt when she had first started to wear diapers full-time. She put a tentative hand between her legs and Carol laughed.
"It does feel a little funny at first, I admit! But don't you look adorable." In the full-length mirror, Therese's bright, rosy face glowed above the elegantly cut suit, and she grinned. Donning a hat, gloves, and scarf, Therese took Carol's hand as she had her sit on the chair by the door. Carol helped Therese tie on her winter boots, and then she put on her old fur, a hat, and some gloves.
"There. Let's go, shall we?"
Outside, the cold bit at Therese's face as she hurried along the growing-icy paths in the park beside the apartment buildings. The silence was almost deafening, and the smell of cold and snow was all around them. The trees bore a gentle white mantle of snow, and Therese almost wished she had her camera to capture the stark beauty of the black trees against the white world.
In a clearing close to the centre of the tiny park, Carol, who had been walking sedately behind Therese, suddenly pointed. "What about there, Therese? Is that a good place, do you think?"
Therese looked at it and then happily flopped down in the snow. Her legs went out; her arms went up, and she felt the cold snow sink into her hair and support her snowsuit-covered body. And giggling happily, she stretched her hands out to Carol. "Mama, help me get up!"
Carol obligingly tugged Therese upwards, and there it was - a perfect snow angel.
"Oh, Therese. It's lovely, sweetheart." Carol kissed Therese's cold cheeks. "I can see why you do this every year."
"It's special," murmured Therese, and then suddenly shivering, she wet her diaper and snuggled closer to Carol. "Snow is special."
Carol smiled down at Therese. "I see that."
//~//
Later, in the bath, Carol gently swirled her hands through Therese's hair, rubbing soap through it soothingly. Therese was warm and comfortable, having had a cup of hot chocolate and an extra-hot bubble bath. She sucked her thumb as Carol washed her hair, her eyes closing sleepily.
"Ah," breathed Carol, quietly rinsing Therese's hair with a small ceramic bowl, "I think someone's sleepy."
Therese would usually put up a token protest, but this time she just nodded. "Sleepy."
"All right, darling. Let's get you snuggled up in bed." Carol helped Therese out and wrapped her up in a warm towel that she had left on the bathroom radiator. "Mmm. You smell so nice and fresh."
Lifting Therese, Carol carried her into the bedroom and diapered her, helping her dress in a pair of soft flannel pajamas. "Extra-warm tonight, I think. The bedroom's a little chilly."
Therese, after grumbling a little, obediently went to brush her teeth as Carol dressed in her own warm nightgown and turned down the bed. When she came back in, Carol was waiting for her. She didn't always fall asleep with Therese, planning on some time to herself after Therese went to sleep. Tonight was apparently one of those nights, though Therese didn't like the idea of waking up alone. If that did happen, though, which it rarely did - Carol would always come right away and fall asleep with Therese for real.
Therese crawled sleepily into bed and into Carol's arms, touching the buttons on Carol's nightie. "Mama . . ."
"Yes, little one?"
"Can I nurse for awhile, please?" Therese was almost too sleepy to say the words, and Carol smiled and kissed her forehead.
"Of course you can, angel." Carol unbuttoned her nightgown and Therese sleepily latched on while Carol traced her face and brushed Therese's bangs off her forehead.
"Such a big day today," she whispered. "Such an excited little one I had."
"Mmmm," murmured Therese, nuzzling closer to Carol. She closed her eyes, and Carol kissed her again.
"Good night, my little snowy angel."
And Therese fell asleep to the sound of Carol's humming.