Misfits

Your name is Dirk Strider, and you are sure that this isn't a mistake.

Jake, listen.

listen to what? dirk, i'm tired of always listening to you.
when will you listen to me?

Jake.

dirk, stop.
i know what this is.
it's not you, it's me.
that's exactly what you were going to say, isn't it?

Actually, I was going to say we can still be friends.
But your statement is equally true.

forget you.

This needed to happen, you tell yourself. This was completely necessary. This isn't a mistake. This is okay. This is okay.

Who are you fooling, Strider? You're a mess. Look at you, you can't handle this. You loved him. You really did. But wanna know what? Fuck him. He doesn't matter. You deserve better. You don't need him. You don't.

Stop lying to yourself. You're a fool.

Being the fool you are, you push your chair away from the desk and tip backwards. You collide with the floor rather harshly, and very hilariously.

"Motherfucker." You grumble as you attempt to regain your dignity.

Yes?

Oh my god. Why did you create him, again?

Now is not the time.

So you broke up with him?

Please stop going through my personal logs.
See, I asked nicely.

Poor boy.
Your logs are extremely entertaining.
Would you like me to bring up Log 11/12/16?

Hal.

Yes, Dirk?
Sorry, my mistake.
Yes, Big Papa?

You turn off your phone without a second thought. Conversations with him just work you up, and you don't need that right now. It continues to buzz, and your attempts to silence it are futile. In a fit of anger, you throw it across the room. It stops buzzing, and you are really fucking appreciative of your OtterBox.

School doesn't start again until Monday, which gives you plenty of time to mope around and wallow in self-pity. But obviously the universe has other plans for you, since Roxy comes barging into your room as soon as you sit down.

"Dirk, start talking!"

"Good afternoon, Roxy. How has your morning been?"

"Don't give me that. Jake just called me." She seems to be completely sober today. Maybe that new therapist really is helping.

"That's nice." You lean back in your chair, playing casual.

"He sounded really upset."

"Did he now?" No surprise there. Jake always was the emotional one.

"Dirk!"

"I don't want to talk about this right now, rolal."

She sighs and sits down on your bed. She has that concerned expression, and you can already see where this is going.

"I thought you loved him, distri?" She asks, but what she really means is "Dirk, we're all worried about you because you're becoming increasingly reclusive and you just broke up with the guy that you've loved for three years. What's wrong?"

And you respond, "I did." , but what you really mean is "He's a lying bastard and it doesn't matter how much I loved him because I refuse to be the type of fool that gets hurt over and over again so fuck him and fuck me for ever falling for it."

She doesn't get it. "Fine. I'll leave you alone."

She stands up and glares down at you. You fight to remain stoic.

"That's what you wanted, right?"

And then she leaves.

-

Dirk, while I value our talks, I really do, you're being,
Quite frankly,
A whiny bitch.

Thank you. Your input is appreciated.

Listen, Dirk. I'm not quite sure if your tiny human brain can quite comprehend this.
But.
I'm a chip in your phone.

Yes. And?

Dirk.

I get it, Hal. I do.
You don't give a shit about my problems.

True enough. But even if I did, what am I supposed to do?
Hack his phone and delete all of his porn?
Oh no.

Forget it, Hal. I forgot I programmed you to be a dick.

-

Two soft knocks on your door startle you awake. Fuck being a light sleeper.

"What?" You yell, muffled by the pillow in your face.

The door slowly creaks open. "Hey, Dirk."

"Roxy?" You awkwardly angle your body to be able to see the door, confused. She hasn't talked to you since Friday.

"Hey. I'm sorry about what I said. I know you were... upset. Do you want to come to Meenah's with me?" She says it slowly, cautiously, like you'll snap at her if she says something wrong. Maybe you will.

"Meenah? God no." You slump back into the pillow. Every time you go to Meenah's somebody gets into a fight.

"Okay. Um, yeah..."

It takes you a minute or two after she walks away, but you get up. After throwing some sweatpants on for decency you resign and go down the hall to knock on her door.

She opens it immediately, smiling as if she already knew. Are you really that predictable?

"Fine." You sigh and are immediately dragged back to your room.

"Yesss! Dirky, I'm going to make you look great!"

-

The party isn't actually that bad. Plenty of alcohol, obviously. A mixture of good rap and bad pop. A decent amount of people. No Jake.

Roxy disappears to go grab a drink after Meenah opens the door for the both of you. You're a little disappointed, but you're too anxious to stop her. You had been tense the whole car ride here, but after realizing that your ex-boyfriend isn't going to pop up out of nowhere and yell at you, you relax and follow her.

She's chatting it up with some blonde girl, so you leave her be. You get a cup of whatever is closest, which tastes vaguely of cherries. A bit of walking around Meenah's house (sorry, mansion) lands you in a mostly empty hallway. Mostly.

"Come here every day?"

"Often."

Cronus chuckles and smirks at you. You know you shouldn't trust him, shouldn't even be talking to him, but it's just so tempting. Who the hell says you can't? You take a step towards him, leaving a foot between you.

"Where's your boy-toy? He's always hangin on you." He confidently places a hand on your neck.

"What does it matter?" You don't mean to sound sharp, but you don't think he notices anyways.

He nods, biting his lip and pulling you a bit closer. "Guess it doesn't."

You're sick of this teasing. You cage him in, hands on the wall behind him.

"That's right." You growl, bringing your bodies together and kissing him roughly.

You nip his bottom lip and grab him by the waist, earning a moan. He tangles his hands in your hair, and even though you should care that he's messing it up, you don't. You slide a hand under his shirt and use it to pull him against you. This time, you're the one to moan. You pull away for a moment before attaching to the place between his neck and his shoulder.

He gasps and moves against you. You need this. You need him. You don't need Jake. You need this. You need him.

Your name is Dirk Strider, and you need to forget.

I