Chapter 18
Clarke was pacing her and lexas room.
"It has been 2 days!" She growls. Octavia is sitting on the chair in front of her leaning forward with her elbows resting on her knees. Her leg was bouncing up and down out of anxiousness. It had been 2 days since they last heard from Lexa said Raven and Lincoln.
"I'm aware wanheda" Murphy drawls.
"We have to go we have to go look for them!" She pleaded Abby stood next to Murphy
"Honey you can't leave you have been keeping the coalition in check since Lexa left"
"I don't care" she throws her hands up in the air. Bellamy sat next to Octavia and held her hand.
"We have sent out search parties thats all we can do" said Murphy trying to reason with them
"We can't just sit here any longer Murphy!" Bellamy said annoyed
"Look why don't we all just calm down ok" said Harper "think about it Clarke Lexa Raven and Lincoln are all bad ass right? They probably just broke the radio some how"
Clarke stopped pacing and slumped into the chair. "I can't sit here and do nothing" she felt the tears build up behind her eyes
"Honey" Abby went and kneeled in front of her "I know your worried but I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation" Clarke shook her head and stood up. She started packing her stuff
"I can't just sit here they might be in trouble" she said as she was stuffing her clothes in a back pack.
"Clarke please" said Octavia desperately. Clarke stopped and sighed she walked over to Octavia and sat on the other side of her. "I need you to stay" she felt the tears run down her face. Bellamy put his arm around her shoulder. "If something did happen" she paused and swallowed the bile that just came up "then all I have left is you and bell if you go off I could lose you too. So please please stay" she begged. Clarke sobbed and held her friends. The three of them huddled up on the sofa.
.......................................
2 weeks later
Scouting parties couldn't find anything. Clarke felt her heart shatter. She thought about Lexa and Anya waiting for her in the in between and got immensely sad. She felt like dead weight. She has stood by Octavia and bellamy staying strong and supporting them but at night time when she was lying in bed that had lexas scent all over she cried and wished for death. But she got up in the morning and stayed strong for her friends like she always did. The coalition has stayed on once piece. Everyone to afraid to go up against wanheda. Currently she was looking over Polis from the balcony in the throne room thinking how easily she can end her pain if she just fell. She sighed. Bellamy and Octavia watched her from their seats. They shared a concerned glance with one another. Just as Octavia was about to say something Murphy burst into the room
"Come to the gates quick!" All three ran to the elevator
"What is it Murphy?" Asked Octavia.
"They are back" he said with a grin. All three stood there with shocked faces
"Are you sure?" Said Clarke
"Sha" he smiled. Octavia started crying and Bellamy squared hiding his tears behind his hands. Clarke didn't want to get her hopes up she had to see it. When the elevator got to ground level all three ran to the gates. Clarke stopped in her tracks as she watched Lincoln lift up Octavia gently in his arms. She watched at Bellamy was swinging Raven around in happiness. But she couldn't see Lexa. She couldn't find her. She felt pain in her chest as she started to feel the tears behind her eyes. She turned around started to walk toward the tower Ignoring the calls from her friends. When she was alone in the elevator she bent over trying to breathe but she was find it hard. When the doors opened she made her way to the bedroom so she could sleep away the pain and hope she would never wake. As she walked in the room she started crying.
"Klark!" Lexa ran out of the bathroom. Clarke stood there not sure if she could believe what she is seeing. Lexa approached her slowly "Klark? Hodnes, it's me" she said softly. She was in front of Lexa now. Clarke slowly reached up to her face and felt her warmth from her cheeks. She smiled and cried and threw herself in lexas arms. Lexa held her up while Clarke wrapped her legs around lexas waist. Lexa walked them to the sofa she sat down with Clarke still holding on to her like a koala bear. She pulled Clarke back so she could look at her "Klark I am so sorry. The radio broke, Raven tried really hard to fix it but it was destroyed Hodnes I am so sorry you must have been so worried my love" she said gently
"Leksa" she grabbed the back on lexas necks and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. They were resting their forehead against each other trying to catch their breaths. "Why weren't you at the gate leksa" Clarke sobbed "when I didn't see you there I thought you were dead" leksa shook her head
"Again Klark I am sorry I could not wait I told the others to wait at the gate but I could not i ran up the stairs to greet you but you were not here Hodnes I just could not wait to see you. I missed you" Lexa leant forward and kissed her "I love you" she kissed her again
"I love you too" she kissed Lexa back "but I can't do this again Lexa I can't. I, I " she took a breath
"What klark what is it" Lexa asked softly
"I wanted to die leksa" Lexa gasped and held on to Clarke tight
"Look at me klark" Lexa demanded but Clarke was to ashamed to meet her gaze "klark Beja look at me" Clarke looked into lexas green eyes full of fear "you can not do that do you understand me. Even if my life is to end you must fight Hodnes. There are people here who love you. You can not give up, I will wait for you always please know that Clarke I will wait for you if I meet my end" Clarke nodded and kissed Lexa again Lexa pulled her back "promise me klark promise me right now that you will never harm yourself if my fight ends. Promise me that you will continue to fight"
"I promise leksa. I promise" she cried
Lexa walked them to the bed and undressed herself and Clarke. They held each other all night