Not What I Seem

xxxx

When Kara woke up she didn’t know where she was. She was lying on a rough wooden floor, wrapped tightly in several thick cotton blankets with at least two more beneath her for cushioning.

A small plastic camping lantern burned near her and the smell of pine trees drifted up to her nose. Her eyes squinted, but Kara couldn’t seem to focus, everything shifting around her, her thoughts spinning in jumbled circles.

Kara’s brow furrowed. Why was she here? Where was Alex?

Suddenly Kara’s memories came rushing back, the look on Lex’s face as he’d walked across the baseball field, the sound of screams and the heat of the Kryptonite bombs on her face as the devices exploded all coming back with a vivid clarity.

Kara shot up “Lena?!” she called, the words coming out in a gasp as a shooting pain in the hero’s ribs caused her to cry out. She fell back with a crash, surprised by how much her alien body ached at the contact. She fought to stay conscious, forehead slick with sweat.

“Lena!” she rasped, trying to roll towards the lamp.

Suddenly Lena’s green eyes were burning above Kara’s, “Shhhh. It’s ok, its ok, you’re safe.” She placed a cool hand on Kara’s brow, the touch softening almost into a caress. A water bottle was pressed to Kara’s lips and she downed the contents painfully.

Got to hydrate. Don’t want Alex to stick an IV in me the hero thought confusedly, mind travelling back to the time her sister had used a Kryptonite needle to pump fluids into her after a long battle in the desert.

When Kara nearly finished the bottle, Lena nodded, and pulled the water bottle away. She ran a hand through Kara’s damp hair, telling the hero in a soothing voice to go back to sleep.

Kara shook her head, her sight already darkening. She didn’t want to lose Lena.

“You’ll never lose me,” Lena whispered faintly, or maybe Kara only imagined it. The CEO’s hand cupping Kara’s fevered face as her thumb rubbed gentle circles on her cheeks.

Kara tried to sit up again but a weight on her chest kept her from moving. She looked down and saw a pair of long white hands resting on her shoulders. When her vision swayed up again her eyes found Lena’s and the back of her mind clicked that those were Lena’s fingers brushing against her collarbone. Lena’s whole body was leaning in, and Kara’s muddy senses slowly burned warm.

“You need to sleep” Lena murmured tenderly, palms still against Kara even though the hero was lying limply on her pallet, her blurred stare latched onto the dark haired woman as if she was a dream.

Kara gave a sluggish tilt of her head, the movement sending her world reeling again and left her wondering briefly why the walls were moving.

“Going to grab…..Be right back,” she heard Lena’s muffled voice come in and out of focus, the CEO moving away a few feet.

“Please” Kara slurred, her voice cracked. And even though her head spun, Kara shot her hand out, clumsily grabbing Lena’s own before the other woman could leave again.

Lena stopped. She stared down at Kara’s hand wrapped around her own, her face unreadable except for the sudden flash of some emotion Kara’s disoriented brain couldn’t place. Lena swallowed and took a shaky breath. Her lips parted as if to say something but she shut them as if changing her mind and instead moved back around next to Kara, her fingers interlacing more firmly with the hero’s own. She swirled over Kara’s knuckles, her other hand brushing lightly over the reporters brows.

The touch sent Kara’s world reeling again, and the hero gave a happy hum. The last thing she saw before she closed her glassy eyes was a strand of Lena’s hair falling over the CEO’s cheekbones as she leaned forward to turn out the light.

xxxx

The next time Kara woke up it was daylight. She was still lying on the floor, and even though her body ached, Kara could tell the dim sunlight pouring in from the windows had healed her somewhat.

She could sit up at least, the hero lifting herself up with a grimace. When the searing pain in her side subsided and she was able to catch her breath again, Kara took a look around her. She was in what was clearly a huge abandoned farmhouse, the slopped ceiling ribbed by huge wooden beams and the empty living room covered in dark cherry floorboards softly worn with time that stretched out languidly to the massive fireplace at one end of the room.

Kara glanced out the window, wondering if a landmark outside might give her more of a clue as to where she was, but the house was surrounded by rolling hills of wheat fields as far as the eye could see, the golden stalks just barely peeking through a thick blanket of snow. Low clouds covered the sky, their white folds ominous with the threat of more bad weather soon to come. Already soft flakes were falling.

Kara sighed and fell back onto her makeshift bed, exhausted. She rubbed a hand over her forehead. She needed to get in contact with the DEO, with Alex. She had no idea how long she’d been out for but she knew her sister must be dying of worry. She was just wondering if she could manage to fly when a light tap on the doorway leading to what Kara guessed was the kitchen interrupted her thoughts.

“Good morning” Lena said, leaning against the doorframe. “You look better.”

Kara’s breath caught. She had forgotten what it was like to so near Lena, to hear every note in her voice and see the way the light played over her eyes. The ache in her chest that had been there since Lena’s party flared and soothed all at once. Kara’s heart practically jumping with joy at the mere sight of Lena while simultaneously shattering because if Lena knew who she was, knew Supergirl was Kara Danvers, she probably wouldn’t even be in the same room as the hero right now.

“The sunlight helped a ton I think.” She said quickly, realizing that she had just been staring at Lena. “It feels different than the light in National City though.” Kara paused, opened her palm and turned it upwards, watching the way the rays glided over the lines n her hand in slow, golden streaks. “It’s softer, more like butter than gold you know? The light in the desert is so bright sometimes, so unfiltered. Its beautiful, but this…this is kind of lazy and warm.”

Kara looked up and saw Lena watching her in silence. She snapped her palm shut and turned away. “Where are we?” she stumbled quickly, a little too loudly, before Lena got the chance to say anything.

“I don’t know, Vermont, maybe Connecticut? After everything with Lex” and Kara pretended she didn’t notice the way Lena had to struggle to say the name, almost like she was spitting it out, “You flew east. You weren’t up for very long but I think you were going fast enough for that to be a reasonable guess.

Kara glanced back to Lena, and for the first time she realized how tired the other woman looked, as if the CEO hadn’t slept well in weeks. A paralyzing thought hit Kara like a bucket of ice, “How long was I out?”

“Only about three days.”

“Three days?” Kara’s voice broke with worry. She kicked the blankets wrapped around her legs off and tried to stand, ignoring the way her body screamed in protest with every movement.

Lena strode over and pushed Kara softly back down, withdrawing her hand as if burned. “Yes three days, and you’re lucky at that.”

Kara brushed her hand over where Lena had touched her, the spot still warm. “Lucky? Lena. Your brother and Lillian are out there, running around unchecked, doing god knows what. Not to mention the fact that the DEO is probably in crisis mode trying to figure out what’s happened to me. Lucky is not the word I’d pick.” Kara’s voice climbed higher and higher until by the end it was practically a shrill.

Lena shook her head, “No? Well what word would you use?”

Kara looked at Lena like she was insane. “I don’t know maybe screwed or shit out of luck or—“

“Alive.” Lena stood up and moved over to the windows. She stared out across the acres of farmland. Her fingernails bit into her crossed arms. “Supergirl, you were out for three days, you…you almost didn’t make it” she said quietly, an almost undetectable tremble running through her voice.

“Oh.”

Lena inhaled, Kara watching as the CEO put herself back together expertly, steeling over whatever emotions had been running through her. “I know you want to get back out there, but the DEO is going to have to deal with Lex by themselves for a little while longer. I lost my phone in the stadium, and I think you blew out your powers either setting that field on fire or trying to fly us here. We have no way to contact anyone at your agency and you can’t risk Lex finding you. You lost a lot of blood, and there was no way for me to stich up the wound in your side. I stopped the bleeding with pressure eventually, but if it opened back up, I don’t think we’d be able to keep you alive the second time around.”

Kara’s fingers flew to the comm link in her ear, the hero gving it a rapid series of pushes. But instead of starting the device only fizzed in her eardrums, the broken wires sending a light shock through her body. Kara eyes fluttered shut as she clutched at her hammering chest. “I can’t stay here, I can catch a train or a taxi or I could walk...”

Lena shook her head, “You can barely even sit up, let alone walk. No. Supergirl, its too dangerous. What if Lex or Lillian hears about you? Without your powers you can’t hope to defend yourself against them, you’ll just end up finishing what Lex started at the ballpark. And I can’t—won’t—watch you almost destroy yourself again.”

Lena’s voice cracked, but she covered it quickly, standing up straighter , the image of a tough no-bullshit CEO.

Kara sighed and ran a hand over her forehead. She looked out the window at the overcast sky and the weak rays of light barely pouring through the thick clouds. Without direct sunlight and with the severity of her wounds, it could take days before she was even close to being back to full strength. She ground her teeth, she couldn’t just sit here and do nothing. But Kara knew Lena was right, she wouldn’t make it twenty yards like this and if Lex found her….

Kara gave a defeated huff. Fine. The world would just have to hold on for a few days until she was healed enough to leave, Superman could handle 78 hours on his own. “Ok, well what do you suggest we do until then?”

Lena gave Kara a triumphant I-told-you-so-smirk and motioned to the kitchen behind her, “Well to start, how about some breakfast?”

xxxx

In the end Lena had to help her into the kitchen, Kara’s arm wrapped around the CEO’s shoulder as the other woman’s hand hugged her waist.

Even over the ripping pain in her side Kara’s heart still fluttered. She looked over at Lena, at the green eyes she’d already learned had their own language and the soft lips parted slightly in effort and her heart flipped. She couldn’t feel like this, not when Lena was only her friend, not when Kara knew the other woman had no idea about the effect she had on the Superhero.

When they finally reached a small wooden table with rough-hewn boards and rickety oak chairs, Kara fell into a seat as quickly as possible, practically tearing herself away from the other woman.

Lena faltered for a moment. “Is everything alright?”

“Yup!” Kara gave Lena a smile she hoped was cheerful and not one of desperate need. Her skin still felt electric at Lena’s touch and all she could think about was the way Lena’s lips had felt against her own at the dock. “It ah…it hurt to stand is all.”

Lena nodded abruptly, her eyes clouding over. “Of course.” She waved a pale hand around the kitchen, at the small cornflowers painted onto the chipped white cupboards and the iron stove which Kara was pretty sure had seen the younger half of the last century. “There wasn’t much to work with, I don’t think anyone has lived here for a long time. But there were some chickens still living out in the barn and I found cans of corn and peaches in the cellar. I figured you would be hungry so I made enough for seven.” She turned and opened the oven, kindling sending a wave of warm air through the open space. “It’s, um, well I don’t really know how to cook.” A red tinge just colored the tips of Lena’s ears. The confident CEO who had stood in front of Kara moments ago vanished, “You don’t have to eat it, but I think it might help you regain some strength.”

She walked forward, a tin tray full of something that smelled so delicious Kara’s stomach grumbled loudly. “You made this?” and Kara raised her eyes to Lena’s own guarded ones, unable to keep the wonder out of her voice. “From some cans and chicken eggs?”

Lena smirked, but her fingers fidgeted with a loose string on her shirt. “Don’t count your cards so soon, it might not taste as good as it looks.”

Kara scoffed and took a mouthful, too impatient to even blow on her fork. Her de-Superpowered mouth burned a little at the steaming bite, but she hummed happily, it was worth it. “It’s delicious” she said around swallowing, already reaching for another helping.

Lena rolled her eyes, but Kara could see the relief washing over her and the way her lips twitched almost as in a smile, “It’s the least I could do.”

Kara got out a muffled “Nah” before turning her attention back to the plate in front of her, missing the way Lena’s lips trembled a little.

She ate ravenously, three days without food and her Kryptonian metabolism making her feel as if she would never be full again. In-between bites she occasionally looked across at Lena, the other woman’s gaze always trained on the hero, as if she was afraid Kara might vanish if she looked away.

Kara swallowed hard and tried to only think about how good her breakfast was. She raised a hand to push up her glasses and dropped her arm awkwardly when she realized they weren’t there. She looked up and caught Lena staring at her again. “What?”

Lena started, and looked away smoothly. “Nothing you just, um…you have a little something,” Lena pointed to her chin.

Kara stared at her blankly, fork halfway to her mouth. Lena chuckled lowly and leaned forward, “Here, let me.” She swiped beneath Kara’s lips with her thumb, picking up a splash of sauce just below the corner of Kara’s mouth. She lingered for a moment before pulling back suddenly, and staring resolutely out the window.

“I’m sorry I don’t mean to be so messy” Kara stuttered, her eyes tracing the rigid set of the other woman’s jawline.

Lena turned back to Kara as if the hero was missing something, “That’s not why I—It’s fine.” She turned her attention back to the fields slowly disappearing under the now heavy snowfall and said slowly, “I think there’s a generator out in the barn. If I could get it working we could use the electricity here, maybe even have hot water, and you need go back to bed for awhile, you shouldn’t push yourself too hard.”

“I can help, I’m not tired.” But even as she said it Kara could feel her limbs drop with fatigue, her wounds draining her of energy.

Lena cocked an eyebrow. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a worse liar,” she teased, suddenly growing serious, “I’ll be in the barn, its only twenty yards away but if something happens, if you need me for any reason, just call and I’ll come.”

“Phft. I’m the girl of steel, I’ll be fine.”

Lena stood up and stepped around the table, helping Kara to stand. When the hero was on her feet, Lena held her steady for a moment, her green eyes serious, her hands resting on Kara’s hips.

“Promise me you’ll call if something happens.” Almost unconsciously she lifted a hand and tucked a strand of hair behind Kara’s ear, her fingers shaking.

“I promise” Kara said oddly, her breath hitched.

Lena rubbed her thumb lightly over Kara’s cheekbone. “Promise me again?”

“I-I, promise”

Lena closed her eyes and took a trembling breath. When she opened them again, she moved backwards running a hand over her shirtfront. “I should go. Do you need help back to your bed?”

It took a minute for Kara to unstick the words from her mouth, ”No, no I can make it.” She walked slowly back into the living room, ignoring the dark spots floating in the corners of her vision. Lena walked a few steps behind, eyes boring into Kara’s back.

When she reached the pile of blankets that served as her bed she collapsed onto them gratefully. Lena hesitated for a moment before stepping over and wrapping the fabric around Kara. “Get some rest” she said soothingly, waiting until the hero’s eyes closed before she stepped away. When she got to the door Lena paused and looked back, “Don’t ever leave me again” she whispered, “Please.”