Not What I Seem

Alex strode down the DEO’s hallways, the rubber soles on her thick combat boots echoing dully over the concrete floors. It was after midnight and the building was quiet, the everyday hum of agents busy loading up with gear or digitally tracking down some threat which could very well cause an Armageddon finally hushed to a few distant clicks on keyboards as the last employees logged off their computers and shuffled their papers into briefcases. Alex breathed in deeply, at home in the dark offices.

As she passed by a large engraving of the agency’s seal she turned left, feet drumming down a flight of gleaming metal stairs. The muscles on Alex’s legs quivered with every step, she could feel each tendon individually pulling and tensing with her movements. She ran a hand through her hair and resisted the urge to yawn loudly, no matter how tired she was Alex had to appear strong, invincible, the embodiment of an idea focused on brining justice to rouge aliens rather than an exhausted older sister whose eyes could barely stay open. Besides, she reminded herself rigidly, its not like she hadn’t had harder days, worked longer hours. Alex had spent more than a few nights huddled in front of her company computer or locked away in a training room, furiously pushing her body to be better only to see dawn spilling in through the agency’s windows and hear the custodians begin unlocking doors and switching the coffee pots on.

When Alex turned down a passage labeled “Medical Bay A34” the main lights shut off for the evening. The building now only lit by soft blue floor panels. The sudden dimness almost went unnoticed by Alex, her stride unbroken. She knew the DEO like the back of her hand, her steps sure with the knowledge that she could’ve found her way to any part of the building even in complete and utter darkness.

Lulled by the rhythmic padding of her feet, Alex let her tired thoughts run loose. Almost like a magnet her mind returned again and again to the same problem: Lena Luthor.

The medical team had done a complete diagnoses of the CEO, had charted every atom of that woman’s body, searched for any hint of the radiation poisoning that should have been there. But every test, even those run through three or more times had come back negative. Lena Luthor was healthy as a horse and not ion was out of place in her body.

Alex’s eyebrows lowered at the thought. It could just be dumb luck, Alex could’ve misunderstood the complexities of Lena’s rigged bomb or some one in a million type error could have prevented the device from detonating the way all her calculations said it should’ve. Still walking, Alex bored her eyes into the clipboard in her hands, its metal surface covered with the printouts of Lena’s medical data. The floor lights provided just enough light for Alex to take in Lena’s stats, the agent noticing with some surprise that Lena was younger than she had originally thought, the CEO’s demanding job and ice cold exterior aging her by a few years.

After considering Lena’s data for the hundredth time with the same disappointing results, Alex looked up from the clipboard with a glower and realized she was nearly at the med-bay. She rounded the last corner only to see Kara, still dressed in her super suit, standing in the shadows just outside the examination room which held Lena. The med-bay’s walls were clear glass and the room’s overhead lights were still on. Alex knew Kara didn’t need her supervision to see the doctor preforming the last of Lena’s tests inside.

Alex was surprised Kara was still at the DEO—as much as her sister loved helping people she always seemed on edge in the building, like she couldn’t quite be herself when she was just Supergirl.

Alex stepped a little closer, curiosity prickling the back of her neck. When she was just a few feet away from her sister, Alex stopped suddenly, realizing that whatever Kara was watching had so entrapped the hero that her sister’s superhearing hadn’t even picked up on Alex’s rough footsteps. Alex was about to chuckle, wondering what her weird little sister could possibly be seeing that was so interesting when she noticed the intensity locked into every fiber of Kara’s being.

Supergirl was standing dead still, the pulse beating like a butterfly wing against her neck the only thing visibly moving. She was leaning forward slightly, lips parted, and there was a look in her eyes Alex wasn’t sure she’d ever seen before. Their expression reminded her of the way Kara had stared at her when she’d first come to earth, blue depths tumbling with the deep black places of space, the hurt of an entire planet’s destruction bubbling just beneath the surface. Alex remembered staring down at the young girl fresh from Krypton and thinking how easy it could be to get lost in those eyes, to fall into their gravity and never return. Looking at Kara now she could see the same curious, agonizing question in her gaze. It was like Kara’s world had somehow been turned upside down again and the hero was being forced to make sense of it all.

Confused, Alex traced the path of her sister’s eyes. When she realized what Kara had been so intently watching Alex felt a chill run down her spine, the hair on her arms raising the way a cat’s tail does when its frightened.

Kara’s eyes were glued to Lena Luthor.

xxxx

Kara stood in the unlit hallway outside the DEO’s med bay, her deep gaze pouring through the examination room’s glass walls into the lit cubicle. She had been walking by, heading towards the training facilities where the only vending machine in the DEO was located to grab a much-needed snack.

She had been tired. Exhausted really. She was worn out to the very marrow of her bones, her hair a little limp and her trademark smile weary at the edges. Oil tanker spills, fires, armed robberies; she had stopped them all, even finding time to write an article for snapper on National City’s new solar power program in between. But there was always another crisis to avert, another sentence to revise and paragraph to punctuate. And between one job and the next, Kara rarely had time for herself.

Sometimes she wondered if she was doing the right thing being two people at once, pretending at being Supergirl and Kara Danvers. Both would be more successful without the other, Supergirl could save more people if she was always on call, and Kara Danvers could actually do her job without the constant stream of interruptions that made it almost impossible for her to write. Maybe it was better to be one person perfectly than divide herself into little pieces each competing for her attention.

But deep down Kara knew she could never be just a human or just an alien. She had tried to be normal once, before coming out as Supergirl. But no matter how many pairs of glasses Kara donned, there was always a piece of her that knew she could never be like Alex or James or Winn. She was too strong, too different. This Earth with its boiling yellow sun that charged her blood like a battery made sure of that.

But she wasn’t an alien anymore either. Years spent watching humans, learning their languages and customs so different from those on Krypton had changed Kara until the woman who brushed her teeth in the mirror every morning would have been unrecognizable to the thirteen-year-old girl who hugged her mother goodbye for the last time before watching her world collapse in a millisecond of burning stardust that still haunted Kara’s dreams.

Sometimes on days like today, when she was tired and burnt out, Kara could feel the truth of what she was, or rather what she wasn’t, breaking over her like a wall of bricks. The knowledge that she would never fit in would knock the air out of her lungs and leave her gasping for help. And even though she tried to smile through it, tried to shine so bright that she fooled herself into believing everything was ok, Kara knew she didn’t belong anywhere, with anyone.

It was that overwhelming feeling of loneliness which had driven Kara to the vending machines, the hero hoping that a little kick to her blood sugar would bring her spirits back up and let her shake off the feeling of solitude pressing in on her and threating to drown her in its thick waves. She had been halfway there when a loud, splintering crack had screamed into her eardrums and sent her heart skittering thinking that some alien monster was tearing its way through the DEO’s steel and concrete walls. Instantly on edge, with every muscle tensed and her fists balled, Kara had turned to the source of the sound, only to realize that the noise she had mistaken for an enemy attack was only the quick snap of a pencil as one of the med bay’s doctors accidently gripped the thin wood too hard between his nervous hands and shattered the utensil. Kara smiled embarrassedly at herself, relaxing as she realized her hearing must have become more sensitive with her fatigue.

She was about to move away when she caught a glimpse of the patient sitting in front of the doctor. Lena, her mind breathed softly, surprised that the CEO was still here. All of a sudden Kara’s legs refused to move. Rooted to the spot she watched as the doctor nervously removed the electrodes attached to Lena’s wrists. Feeling her stomach flutter, Kara deliberately studied the doctor for a moment, taking in his white lab coat and expensive loafers, waiting until the twisting feeling in the pit of her belly subsided before cautiously daring to turn her eyes fully to Lena herself.

Kara’s breath caught. And all of a sudden her stomach plummeted again.

Lena was sitting on the medical table, legs crossed, one high heel dangling from her ankle. Her dark hair was carelessly pulled back, a few loose strands escaping around her face, her green eyes flickering to a deep emerald under the fluorescent lights. As Kara watched, Lena shifted to lean a little more onto her left side, her skirt bunching up slightly to reveal a glimpse of the black band at the top of her nylons. Kara had a feeling she knew why the doctor had snapped his pencil earlier. There was a sudden thundering in Kara’s ears as she picked up the doctor’s heartbeat, his eyes apparently having caught sight of Lena’s long legs as well. He ran a badly shaking hand through his thinning hair, and when he attempted to pick up his stethoscope from a tray of medical equipment sitting by the lab’s computer he upended the dish, sending metal tools screeching across the floor.

Kara winced, not just because the sound grated against her sensitive ears but because she knew what it was like to look like a complete fool in front of the ever-imposing CEO.

Lena let out a soft laugh at the Doctor’s clumsiness. “Here, Doctor, let me give you a hand,” she hummed, slipping off the table in one lithe movement. If possible the Doctor’s pulse thrummed even harder.

Kara knew she should stop listening in, she hated using her powers to spy, but she couldn’t rip herself away from Lena’s hypnotizing presence. Be careful, she heard a warning voice in her head growl, but of what she didn’t know, her mind pushing the thought away quickly as she turned her attention back to the examination room.

“Oh, no, it’s fine Miss Luthor, I can handle my own tools,” the doctor muttered.

Catching his words, Kara let out an internal groan for the poor man. She was surprised his heart hadn’t actually burst from nerves yet. She took a half step forward, Supergirl’s confident smile already lighting up her face, ready to offer her assistance the way she always did when people needed help. But before she could even put her foot down, Kara heard Lena’s magnetic laugh again and the hero found any thought of doing anything other than watching Lena washed from her mind.

Glued to the floor, Kara’s enraptured gaze trailed the CEO as she bent down to help pick up the scattered equipment. The way Lena moved was mesmerizing, it was confident and collected and somehow watchful and even a little restrained at the same time. It was like Lena was constantly at war with herself, the cold head of a billion dollar company battling against some other piece of the woman that was passionate and fiery.

Kara leaned in a little closer, captivated by the woman in front of her. Her alien eyes picked out the slight smudge of eyeliner like smoke on Lena’s skin and the almost microscopic rips in her skirt from the explosion earlier. And If she focused harder Kara could spot the place just above Lena’s neckline where the CEO’s skin was slightly flushed from the exertion of picking up the tools, could count the small creases from laughing and worry that framed her eyes. Letting her eyes linger down Kara even discerned the small lines running over Lena’s lips, slightly swollen from the cut she had received earlier, but still soft…

“Hey sis.”

Kara nearly flew through the roof she was so startled, she had been so absorbed in the med-bay that she hadn’t even heard Alex approach.

“Distracted much?” Alex asked dryly, eyebrows raised.

“No?” Kara floated back down to ground slowly, avoiding her sister’s searching look.

Alex’s eyes wavered to the med-bay, took in the sight of Lena crouched on the floor helping gather the spilled medical equipment, then slid to Supergirl’s discarded cape resting on the doctor’s table. Concern flickered over Alex’s face briefly, and Kara wondered if she didn’t have supervision if she would’ve even been able to see the expression it was covered so quickly. Alex’s eyes lingered on the red fabric for a moment longer before turning back to Kara, her face carefully composed into an expressionless façade. “If you’re free, Winn wants to see you,” she said neutrally.

The corners of Kara’s eyes kept Lena in them, watching how the CEO stood up with a blood pressure cuff in her hands. “What does Winn want?” she asked distractedly, unable to tear her focus away from the scene playing out in the med-bay.

“Something about trying out a new super-reflex suit.” Alex gave a sympathetic eye roll; she knew how lost Kara could get in Winn’s endless explanations and costume revisions.

“Again? This is like, the third improvement this week.” A frown tugged at Kara’s lips as she turned to look completely at her sister, “and besides, I have another article to write and pot-stickers to eat and I haven’t showered since I put out that fire earlier today.” Kara sighed, she loved Winn, really she did, but sometimes he could be just a little too enthusiastic with his new projects.

Alex leaned in and gave her sister a quick sniff. Her nose wrinkled, “God you do smell,” she laughed affectionately, “ice cream and a movie later?”

Kara’s face lit up, “Yes! Do you want to leave now or do I really have to try Winn’s suit on?” She gave her sister a brilliant smile, blonde hair framing her face.

.

“You head home without me,” Alex sighed, “I have to finish up things here,” she said, jerking her thumb over her shoulder at the med bay where the doctor was now on his stomach fishing beneath the medical table for the last of his equipment.

“Why? What’s wrong with Lena? Is she hurt? Is it serious—“

“She’s fine Kara, calm down.”

“You don’t sound happy about that.” Kara’s stare locked onto her sister sternly, the question tempered with steel. An image of Lena’s green eyes blazing with pain and disgust burned through Kara’s mind. “Alex...”

“Her chart readings came back completely normal. Not a trace of radiation, not even a spike in chemical emissions.”

“That’s a bad thing?”

“No, but after what she did to that bomb she should be swimming in ions, or at the very least sporting a new tan.”

“Why can’t it just be a fluke?” Kara asked, immediately regretting the question as soon as it left her mouth. Alex’s voice slipped into her Doctor Danvers tone, her sister dropping into a deep scientific explanation of exactly why Lena’s radiation-less state was not in fact a fluke but rather a deeply suspicious and oh-so medically fascinating impracticality. Kara’s mind started to wander somewhere around “gamma rays mutating mitochondrial DNA” when she flicked her eyes over to the med bay again, catching a snatch of Lena and the Doctor’s conversation. “Maybe it fell under table?” Lena’s voice murmured. “No, no, it couldn’t have.” The doctor rumbled, nervously wringing his hands, “I’ll check again” he stuttered, falling to his hands and knees once more. Kara turned her attention back to her sister for just a second, nodding along at the right intervals before she looked at Lena again, the CEO now standing by the computer, one hand lightly resting against the back of the machine. Her nails were a deep wine red, so dark they almost blended in with the machine’s black frame. “Is this it,” she asked softly, holding up metal tool. “Yes! Thank you!” the doctor’s voice broke with relief.

“Kara? Earth to Kara,” Supergirl started a bit at the sound of her name, yanking her attention away from the med-bay only to find Alex looking at her with annoyance. “You didn’t hear a word I just said did you?” the older Danvers asked, heaving a dramatic sigh.

“Um. Yah, the thingy with radiation and transcription right?” At Alex’s less than impressed look, Kara ducked her head and hid her face beneath her long blonde hair, peeking up from between the strands to give her sister a sheepish grin, “I, uh, well not exactly.”

Alex tried not to laugh at her sister’s pouting face, but she couldn’t help it, her anger fell away under Kara’s charm. “Fine, enough science for the day, you go talk to Winn and I’ll wrap up here.”

“No!” Kara’s face turned red at her sudden outburst, and she could feel her sister staring at her in disbelief. “I mean, no, I’ll go with you.” When Alex raised her eyebrows Kara added a little lamely, “…..to get my cape back.”

“Hmmm” Alex grunted suspiciously, turning to the medical bay, and opening the door with a powerful tug. Kara watched her sister stride into the room and hesitated on the threshold for a second, suddenly unsure whether or not she was making a mistake. Something in the back of her head was telling her to turn around and find Winn, to stay far, far away from the dark haired girl standing in the med bay with her sultry eyes and lingering glances that made Kara want to obliterate anyone who had ever dared cause the pain that followed Lena’s movements like a bittersweet perfume. Some part of Kara knew she was balancing on the edge of something. She was teetering just above a cliff and if she wasn’t careful she might tip over the edge and fall.

But into what Kara didn’t know. Almost against her will, Kara felt her eyes dragging back to the examination room one last time, felt her heart seize when she caught sight of a pair of soft lips slightly parted. And Kara already knew what she would do. She could sense her body moving towards the examination room as if it belonged to someone else, feet gliding forward even as her mind reeled against the way her fingers craved to touch Lena’s skin one more time, resisted how her mouth parted to catch a breath of Lena’s perfume again.

Adrenaline spilled warmly into the pit of her stomach, and Kara felt like her heart was trying to escape out the top of her ribcage. She shivered, an intoxicated chill running down her spine as she stepped inside.

xxxx

“Agent Danvers, Supergirl,” Lena drawled in a lazy voice when Kara stood next to her sister. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” her eyes locked onto Kara’s with that last word, a spark like lighting illuminating the vivid green depths and Kara couldn’t stop her own eyes from going wide at the remark. She snapped her head down, studying the patterns swirled into the med-bay’s concrete floors. When she looked up again, Lena had a bemused smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

Alex cleared her throat, and Kara could swear her sister stepped in front of her almost protectively as she tossed a clipboard covered in medical printouts onto the bench Lena was sitting on. The CEO didn’t even flinch at the gesture, instead she leaned back on her hands, arching her white neck until her stare met Alex’s.

“Your data came back. All clear,” Alex said through gritted teeth.

Another smile played over Lena’s lips, but this one was slower, almost forced. “Don’t sound so disappointed,” she lilted, her voice light. But Kara’s supervision picked out the white spots on her palms where Lena’s nails were digging into her skin. Kara blinked a few times, willing her eyes to look anywhere but the CEO, aware that Lena must feel her stare. There was a medical chart on the far wall, its laminated pages detailing the various bones in the human body. Good Kara thought, just focus on that.

Alex exhaled sharply, “Call me crazy but a Luthor surviving a chemical explosion that should’ve bathed half of National City in radiation isn’t exactly my idea of believable.”

The tension in the room skyrocketed, and the doctor stood up and shuffled out of the med-bay with a nervous expression on his face. As he left, Kara could feel her sister’s body stiffen into a defensive posture, and she turned to give Alex a what-the-hell-is wrong-with-you look.

Lena’s face twisted into a mask at the accusation, the shift almost imperceptible. The CEO let herself grin almost arrogantly, and Kara could tell she’d done this before—feigned confidence when she was nearly on the brink of shattering. “And here I thought I had finally earned the DEO’s trust. But I suppose a tiger can’t change its stripes, now can it?” Lena’s voice slipped to a dangerous purr. She lifted her chin, eyes burning with pain and pride, her defiant stare challenging Alex to say more even as some part of her seemed to agree with the agent’s low estimation of herself.

Alex held Lena’s gaze steadily, “Don’t change the subject. How did you survive that bomb blast.”

There was a look on Alex’s face Kara remembered from every late night spent out after curfew and every unwanted boyfriend who had showed up at the Danvers’ door. Her sister’s instincts were up, her gut telling her something was off. Normally Kara would trust Alex’s intuition with her life, it was part of what made her such a great agent. But Lena was not like her family. And Kara had to swallow the sudden rush of anger that rose in her throat at Alex’s allegation, annoyed that her sister couldn’t seem to understand what Kara knew almost instinctively upon meeting Lena: that the CEO of L-Corp was breathtakingly good.

Lena didn’t answer Alex’s question immediately; instead she stood up and circled behind Kara to the lab table, nearly brushing against Supergirl. Kara sucked in her breath and had to remind herself not to listen to the way Lena’s clothes rustled over her body.

Lena walked over to where Supergirl’s cape was neatly folded and ran her fingers lightly over the red material, her nails tracing the outline of an “S” into the fabric. Her face was blank, composed, but something in the movement made Alex’s mind click because Kara saw the anger which had steeled Alex’s expression give way to shock.

“You wanted us to take you here,” Alex almost gasped, “You wanted to get inside the DEO. You’re just as bad as Lex. You’re the same kind of—“

“Alex.” Kara growled suddenly, interrupting her sister before she could say anything more, Kara’s tone authoritative the way it only ever was when she was dressed as Supergirl. This had gone too far. Kara couldn’t, wouldn’t, sit here and listen to her sister interrogate her friend.

She rested a hand on Alex’s shoulder, careful not to hurt her sister’s pride or body. When Alex turned to her Kara shook her head slowly. The two of them stared at each other for a moment, a conversation passing wordlessly between their eyes. Lena relaxed against the lab table, doing nothing to pretend like she wasn’t watching the obviously intimate scene playing out before her.

Alex must have seen the determination in Kara’s eyes, because she broke their silent back and forth with an irritated sigh. “Fine.” She muttered quietly, shaking her head in disbelief. She turned on her heel and stormed out of the med-bay, not even casting a backwards glance at Kara when she left.

Kara winced when the door slammed behind her sister, but she knew Alex would cool down in a little bit, sometimes it was better to let her sister fume alone.

Kara’s hearing picked up Lena’s heartbeat behind her almost by habit now, the CEO’s pulse surprisingly even, unaffected by Alex’s outburst. Drawing in a deep breath because she knew she couldn’t stay facing away from Lena forever, Kara turned back to the CEO. Her body moved slowly, as if it was swimming through thick water, every cell conscious that she was now completely alone with Lena in a very small room. Kara’s hands toyed with the blue fabric of her suit’s sleeves. When she finally turned and faced the CEO, Kara avoided Lena’s eyes, focusing on her hair and nose and everywhere but those magnetic pools of raging green that Kara was afraid she’d drown in if she met their gaze again.

“Alex didn’t mean to say that.” Kara started nervously, staring determinedly at a freckle on Lena’s cheekbone. “She just wants to make sure National City is safe, and sometimes she jumps to conclusions.”

Lena didn’t move a muscle at Kara’s words. She was so pale and rigid she could’ve been made of marble. Rushing to fill Lena’s silence with something that could make the situation better, Kara continued on in a blur, “But she trusts you, I know it.” Kara placed her hands back on her hips, and smiled confidently.

At that, Lena finally gave a hoarse laugh. “Please Supergirl save your speeches for someone a little more gullible. I am not naïve enough to believe that my last name doesn’t color people’s perceptions of me. Let alone its effect on a DEO agent.” Lena’s throat tightened. Her jaw clenched and unclenched in anger, but it was a helpless kind of fury that left her feeling powerless. “Lex and Lillian might be behind bars but their legacy is not so easily contained.”

Kara expected to see a tremble in Lena’s hands or watch the CEO’s eyes fill with tears or anything that would show the hurt Lena was so desperately battling to hide.

But Kara should have known by now that Lena never let anyone see her vulnerable. The CEO instead straightened her shoulders and said, “Now if we’re done analyzing my family legacy I’d like to go home.”

Her voice was even, flat, impersonal. And Kara hated it. Hated the way she desperately needed to hear the Lena’s words tinged with a laugh, feel the smile at the corners of each sentence the way she could the day she first met Lena in her office and the CEO had teasingly told Kara “could’ve fooled me” when the blonde had blushingly admitted she was no reporter.

Kara swallowed and reminded herself that she was Supergirl. She fought monsters everyday and dealt with a boss from hell and she was more than capable of holding herself together without Lena’s smile. But fuck she wanted it.

Interpreting Kara’s silence as a yes, or maybe just exhausted with everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours, Lena turned to walk out.

She was halfway to the door before Kara realized what was happening. Feeling a cold weight settle in her chest, Kara desperately reached out and grabbed Lena’s hand. Her fingers encircled Lena’s wrist, refusing to let the CEO go away so guarded, needing something, Kara didn’t know what, from her.

The contact was warm and Kara’s palm felt scorched where Lena’s skin thrummed underneath her own. She gave a light tug and turned Lena back to her, hearing the other woman gasp in the millisecond before Lena was spun around.

For a second, Kara forgot where she was. She must’ve pulled a little harder than she had intended because instead of gently turning Lena around, Kara had accidentally pulled the CEO almost into her body, the woman now standing only centimeters away. They stood nose-to-nose, Lena’s breath fanning softly over Kara’s cheeks. The CEO’s perfume wafted up softly from the spot just behind her ears, and Kara felt her fingers twitch with the urge to sweep over the other woman’s jaw and down her neck to tangle into her thick dark hair. Her gaze lingered over the curve of Lena’s cheekbones and the faint hint of makeup on her skin, the hero’s stare gently travelling upwards.

And then Kara raised her eyes to Lena’s own, and time seemed to stop.

Kara knew she shouldn’t have done it, knew somehow that if she met Lena’s eyes she would never be able to pull away, knew that she might see something in them that could break her apart the way Krypton shattered under the force of its red sun.

But Kara had never wanted to be destroyed so badly before.

And so dizzy with the other woman’s proximity, Kara let herself fall into Lena’s gaze. There was a spark burning deep within the green emeralds, and the way it flickered over the gold fleck’s like warm scotch ringing Lena’s irises was haunting. Laughter and pain and strength chased each other through the smoky depths, each contradiction battling against another. Kara couldn’t blink, couldn’t move. She was drowning in a sea swept the color of broken glass Kara didn’t even want to cry out for help.

Rao.

Lena flinched. She tried to hide it but Kara’s eyes were too fast, too un-human to miss it. And when Kara pulled herself out of Lena’s eyes she realized they were staring back at her with surprise and a guarded wariness, the realization sending a wave of nausea through Kara’s stomach. And just like that, the universe came speeding back to Kara. The warmth of Lena’s body replaced by cold glass walls and the ticking of a clock somewhere on the wall behind her. The hero suddenly painfully aware of the humming of the computer and smell of hand sanitizer and the wrinkled paper on the medical table, and painfully, painfully conscious that she was a Super and Lena was a Luthor and that there were some histories which could not be erased so easily.

Kara dropped her hand away from Lena’s wrist dully, stumbling backwards a few steps. Her chest sinking. She’s afraid of you, Kara’s mind whispered, the hero suddenly wishing she could rip the S off her chest.

“I’m sorry,“ Kara barely managed to choke, her body numbed as if someone had poured ice cold Novocain into her veins. “I didn’t mean to, I just forgot my own strength.”

Lena stepped back authoritatively, putting even more space between them. She crossed her arms over her chest as if to protect herself, and Kara noticed how she hid her hands under her arms to conceal the way they trembled. “I—”Lena opened and shut her mouth, at a loss for words for the first time since Kara had met her.

“It’s fine.” She finally ground out, and Kara could practically hear the period at the end of Lena’s words they were so sharp. “Accidents happen.”

Kara closed her eyes, exhaling slowly. When she opened them she saw the tense line of Lena’s jaw and the way the other woman was breathing, sharp and shallow. She could feel Lena studying her with a reserved glare. Or at least it felt like that. But Kara couldn’t say for sure because her eyes refused to move above Lena’s collarbone. Slowly as the minutes ticked, Lena relaxed, the anger and fear fading.

No, not fading Kara’s mind dully registered, taking in the way Lena’s legs crossed over each other and how her chin jutted out. Just buried quietly away under layers of poise and determination.

Unable to stand it anymore, Kara mumbled, ““I can show you out.” Her voice dulled, unable to hide the slight edge of disappointment in her words the way Lena seemed to be able to control all her emotions without thought.

Kara stepped out of the room quickly, not waiting to hear Lena’s response because she wasn’t sure she could handle another quip from the woman. After a minuet she heard Lena’s high heels click behind her. They wound their way through the DEO, arriving at the main floor in just a few minutes.

Kara stopped and stared at her boots. “The main exit is right through there,” she said, pointing vaguely with her hand at a set of large double glass doors. “I think I can hear your driver outside, and I know you don’t like to fly, but I can always take you home if you’d prefer. Its faster.”

There was a breathy laugh, low and throaty. Kara swiveled up in surprise. “First you pull me into your arms and now you offer to take me home?” Lena cocked an eyebrow, “Are you always this direct?”

Kara blushed, but as much as she wanted to sink into Lena’s banter, she knew the CEO’s teasing was a way for her to deflect from whatever emotions had so frightened and upset her in the med-bay. As flirtatious as Lena’s words were, her body language didn’t match her tone. Because while Lena’s voice was saying yes every fiber of her being seemed to scream no. As if to confirm the thoughts racing through Kara’s mind, the hero saw a small grimace pull at Lena’s smiling lips, almost as if the woman hated what she was saying.

Glancing up, Kara put her hands on her hips, “That’s not what I meant Miss Luthor.”

The smile on Lena’s face twisted a little further into a grimace when she heard her last name. But the CEO waved it off. “A shame.”

And even though she knew it was just another defense, Kara couldn’t help but turn red at that, her whole face dyed the color of her super-boots.

Seeing her expression Lena chuckled softly, though her eyes were still wary and her body tense. “Goodnight Supergirl.”