She’s been standing at that balcony for almost an hour, waiting, although she knows that no one is coming. There’s only two people in National City that believed in her, that saw Lena like something more than a Luthor and not as a carbon copy of her brother. She lied to one of them today, and even if it was for a good reason, she knows that Supergirl would never look at her the same way again.
A Luthor always lies.
Nurture is a funny thing.
She’s been trying for years to be different, to step away from her family’s reputation and do good, but deceptions, lies, and power is what they taught her. That’s how the world works. That’s how you control it. And she’s finding really hard to stop thinking that way.
After she decided it was time for a change and moved to National City, Lena had found two lights to guide her, to take her hand through the dark. She’s lost one of them today.
And Kara… Kara will follow soon.
Maybe it’s for the better. After all, being near Lena would only put the reporter in danger, and Kara is too pure, too naïve, to be involved in her world. She may have to live with the consequences of her family’s actions, but it would be too selfish to make Kara share that burden with her.
“Lena?”
A voice she knows too well startles her. For a moment, she wonders if her thoughts have the power to summon the object of her worries.
Lena turns slowly, leaving the sight of National City’s lights behind her back. It’s too soon, she thinks. She isn’t ready to face her. The day had been hard enough, and Kara being there while she was in such a vulnerable state was due to end badly.
But before the CEO can do anything about it, the reporter has walked the short distance between the office’s door and the balcony. She’s standing by the glass door now, staring at Lena with worried eyes, but also with a hint of something else. It’s not hate, though. Not disappointment or pity. Those are things that Lena can handle. She can’t name what it is because no one has looked at her that way before.
“Kara.”
Suddenly, there’s a pair of strong arms surrounding her. The world seems to vanish and, for a moment, she can’t think of anything else beyond the feeling of Kara’s warm body pressed against hers. It’s funny how this fragile, soft, and gentle human being is making her feel safer than all the superheroes on the planet.
Is this how being loved feels?
She buries her face in Kara’s neck, letting the faint scent of the girl flood every one of her senses, and holds onto her tighter than she’s ever hold anything else in her life.
“I’m so sorry,” She feels Kara’s words against her chest. Lena doesn’t understand. Why is she sorry? Why is she even there? “I thought I had lost you.”
Lena lets go of her a little, just enough to stare at Kara’s watery eyes.
“I didn’t go anywhere,” She says, confused.
“No, not like that. I thought that she finally got to you.”
The reporter is the one who breaks the embrace and takes a step back, leaving Lena with a feeling of longing that nothing but Kara’s arms could replace.
“Since the day we met, I believed that you were so much more than your name. You may be a Luthor on the papers, but you are Lena to me. Smart, funny, beautiful Lena. To think that I believed, even for a second, that you were just like your mother, makes me sick.”
“Kara, what are you…”
“Stop, please,” She asks while taking one of Lena’s hand, “I need to say this, okay?” Lena nods, and there’s a nervous smile in Kara’s lips before she continues, “I’m not perfect, and I’m the first one to accept that I make mistakes. But you… You lied to me. When you launched that missile, you made me feel like a fool, because I believed in you. You were my friend and you played me, and suddenly the voices of all the people around me saying that I shouldn’t trust a Luthor were echoing in my head, screaming that it was all my fault.”
Lena doesn’t understand what’s going on, why Kara is talking about what happened with Lilian as if she had been there. Her mind is trying to connect the last two dots of the story, trying to make sense of everything that Kara is saying.
“When you, singlehandedly, destroyed Cadmus plans tonight, I was proud of you, but also very, very angry. And I do not get angry easily. I wanted to yell at you, make you understand that what you did was all kinds of stupid.”
“Isn’t that what you are doing now?
“Of course not,” Kara huffs offended, “The first thing I said was that I was sorry, weren’t you listening?”
“Honestly? I’m still trying to understand why you’re here.”
The reporter takes Lena’s hand and places it in her own chest. She keeps her fingers over Lena’s skin, caressing it, and guides the other woman until she’s touching the buttons on Kara’s shirt.
“I’m here because I finally understand why you do things the way you do.” Her mind is slow processing the girl’s words. She can feel Kara’s heartbeat under her hand and it’s entirely too much, “Have you ever trusted anyone before, Lena?”
“No one has made me believe that I could.” Her voice trembles, and her whole body shivers when her eyes find Kara’s staring back at her.
“Then, that’s why I’m here.”
Kara guides the CEO’s fingers to the top button of her shirt and Lena, even if still doesn’t understand completely what is going on, knows that she wants her to open it.
The first thing she sees under the little opening is a dash of blue, and there it is, the last piece of the puzzle.
Lena gasps.
Kara guides her hand to open three more buttons.
“I’m showing you this because I want you to have something to hold onto, something to trust,” Kara says softly, “This,” She continues while placing Lena’s hand again on her chest, right over her family crest, “This means you’re not alone anymore.”
And Lena cries.
Kara holds her tightly again, whispering reassuring words in her ear, and it’s too much for her to hold back the tears.
Later Kara will explain what the S really means, how, from now on, she will have to deal with her weird family, especially with Alex and all the DEO’s papers she’ll have to sign because Kara didn’t follow the protocol, again. She will meet J’onn, Winn, James, and a lot of people that will look at her and still see a Luthor, but Kara will scowl at them and smile brightly at her. Finally, she will start to understand how happiness feels like.
But for tonight, Lena just cries.