Chapter 14
Ashlyn’s POV:
I looked up and saw a woman with blondish hair staring at me. She looked to be about my age and was wearing a stylish daytime dress. I stared at her and my mouth dropped a bit. Kate.
“Hi”, Ali said. By the look on her face, this was an unexpected visit. Ali’s face registered shock for a moment, and then she said, “Uh, Kate, this is Ashlyn.” The Ali looked at me. “Ashlyn, this is Kate.”
“Uh, nice to meet you”, I said.
“Wow”, Kate said, her face incredulous. She looked at me and then at Ali. “Really?”
“Look, Kate-“ Ali began, but Kate cut her off.
“You know, when I came to visit my girlfriend in the hospital”, Kate began, addressing the room in general, “which, by the way, I found out that she was even in the hospital by watching the news…I didn’t expect to walk in to see the woman that my girlfriend cheated on me with standing right next to her.”
“Look, I’m sorry about what happened between me and Ali-“ I began.
“No it’s my fault", Ali said. "Kate-“
“Wow, really Ali?”
“Kate, please-“
Kate looked right at Ali. “This is fucking unbelievable! I don’t even know what to say here!”
“Hey!” I shouted at Kate. She turned and glared at me. I knew she was pissed, and she had every right to be. But something in me snapped. “I said I was sorry, and I am. But the woman I love was just in an accident, and she doesn’t need any shit right now!” Yup, I just said it. I told Kate that I was in love with her girlfriend. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that, but after Ali’s accident, something changed in me, and I was no longer holding in things I would have held in before.
“Shit!?” Kate stepped up to me. “You’re the reason this shit is happening right now!”
Dr. Stroger’s head was ping-ponging between Kate and I like he was watching a tennis match. “Ladies, please, if we could just calm dow-“
“Shut up!” Kate snapped at him. At that moment, the door opened, and a nurse poked his head in. Apparently he had heard the shouting.
“Call security”, Dr. Stroger said.
“No”, I said. I put my hands up. “There’s no need. I’ll leave”, I said. Dr. Stroger looked at the nurse and nodded his head, and the nurse nodded back and closed the door. I took a deep breath and looked around the room. “Alright, I’m going to leave now.”
“You do that”, Kate said, glowering.
“I am. I’m leaving”, I said, but then I took a step closer to Kate and looked her in the eye. “But if I hear that you’ve treated Ali like anything less than a princess after I’m gone…” I let it hang, and I saw a change come into Kate’s eyes. I must have given her the look that I gave Jessica after the accident. Kate was obviously upset, and rightfully so. I knew that logically, but emotionally that wasn’t going to fly with me. The thought of anyone treating my princess in any way other than with the utmost love and care right now made me hot under the collar. Kate looked at me for a second and then backed off. I looked at her hard for another moment and then turned to Ali. “I’ll see you soon, princess”, I said. Then I headed for the door. I opened the door and walked out into the hallway. I needed to get out of here. I started bee-lining for the main entrance. I was walking, lost on thought, and I was just past the main reception and was heading for the front doors, when I heard my name.
“Ashlyn?”
I looked up. “Ashley?” I said. You gotta be kidding me. As if my timing could get any worse. “W-w-what are you doing here?”
“Where have you been?” she asked. “ I’ve been calling you all night. You were supposed to come over after your game, remember?”
We were right in the doorway, so I pulled her into a corner of the reception area. “Uh, yeah, sorry. I’ve been here, with Ali. She was injured in our game yesterday.”
“And you couldn’t call me to tell me you’d be running late, or not coming over?” She looked at me for an answer and then said, “Yes, I know you were here. I saw the accident on the news. That’s how I tracked you down. They said that Ali Krieger had suffered a head injury and had been taken to Holy Cross. You had been by her side the entire time she was down.” She looked at me and it dawned on me that I was still in my keeper’s uniform. “Wait – did you stay overnight?”
“Yes, I did.”
“Ash – you need to call me back when I call you.”
She was right. I should have called her back, if nothing more than out of courtesy. But something in her tone, plus the whole thing I had just been through with Kate, plus the whole situation in general had me on edge, and I exploded. “Jesus Christ, Ashley! Lay off! My girlfr-“. I stopped before I said what I was going to say, which was, “My girlfriend was injured and I needed to be by her side.”
She stared at me for a moment and then said, “What did you just say?”
“I was going to say, ‘My friend was injured, and I wanted to make sure she was alright’.”
“No, that’s not what you said. You were going to say, ‘my girlfriend’, weren’t you?”
“Ashley, she’s my girl-friend, my best friend, and my teammate.”
Ashley stared at me for a moment and then said, “Are you in love with her?” I was silent, so she said, “Ashlyn – I asked you a question.”
I remained silent. Ashley knows that I’ve had feelings for Ali, but I never told her exactly the extent of those feelings, how deep they ran, or how much they still exist today. I didn’t want to get into this right now, so I remained silent.
“Like I said, I saw the injury on T.V. It was all over the 10 o’clock news”, Ashley said. She paused for a moment and then said, “I heard it”.
“You heard what, Ashley?”
“There was sound”, she said. Then I remembered that there had been cameras on the field. Apparently they had caught it all. “I heard it all.” She paused and then said, “I heard you call her baby. Baby and princess. Multiple times.”
“Jesus Christ, Ashy, what is wrong with me caring about my friend?”
“Because it’s not just a friend, Ashlyn! You’re in love with her!” Ashley exclaimed.
“You’re being ridiculous”, I said and looked away. For some reason, even right now, I just couldn’t admit to Ashley the whole truth.
Ashley stayed silent for a moment, then looked at me. “Ashlyn, look at me.” I turned towards her. She came closer and took my hands. “Ashlyn, look. You can say whatever you want, but let me tell you something. I know love when I see it, because I had it.”
This was unbelievable. The woman I love is laid up in a hospital bed, and I run into the woman that I’m dating. You can’t make this shit up. I put up my hands in a pacifying gesture. “Ashley, look-“
“No, I’m talking, Ashlyn. You pulled a no-show on me last night, so you can just listen for a minute.” I acquiesced, and she continued. “Like I was saying, I know what love is. Now, I don’t know if we”, she pointed between me and her “would have ever had it, even though I would have liked to have tried, but after what I saw last night, and what I’m seeing now, I know that you and Ali do.”
I kept staring at her, not sure what to say, so she kept on.
“Ashlyn, I was with someone for almost six years. I know what love looks like. I know what it looks like, what it sounds like, and what it feels like. Now, I can’t tell you what you’re feeling, but I can tell you how you look and how you sound. When I saw you on TV last night, and seeing you now, you look like I probably did when I saw Janna in the hospital after her wreck.”
I was silent, then I said, “I’m sorry, Ashley.” I really was. Underneath it all, she was right. I was still in love with Ali, just as much as I had been all those years ago, and even if there wasn’t a future for us, there wasn’t going to be one with Ashley, either. That just wouldn’t be fair to her, especially after what she went through with Janna. “I’m sorry, and I guess I should have maybe been more honest with you, and I guess maybe myself, about how I felt, and apparently still feel about Ali”, I admitted.
“Ashlyn, like I said, I was with someone for almost six years. I’ve known you for like six weeks.” She signed and then said, “I’m bummed, Ashlyn, but us not seeing each other anymore isn’t going to shatter my world. I’d rather find out that it’s not meant to be now than later.”
I stood there and looked at her. She was sweet. Sweet, and thoughtful, and positive, and considerate, and smart. And beautiful. But she just wasn’t the right one for me. Maybe in another world, things could have been different. But we’re in this world, and the right one for me is lying in a hospital bed down the hall, being visited by her girlfriend. And not being with the right one is no longer going to work for me. No longer am I going to get under someone else to help me get over not being with her. I’m just going to have to find another way to cope. I looked at Ashley and smiled, a combination of apology and appreciation. Then I moved in a bit closer and gave her a hug. We stayed like that for a minute and then moved apart.
“Thank you”, I said. She didn’t say anything, but she smiled slightly at me, so I continued. “I’d like to be friends.” It was true. I hope it didn’t come off as a pity prize, because I meant it.
She looked at me for a moment and then said, “Me too. I mean, I may need a bit of time away from you, but…yeah, I’d like that.”
“I understand.” I smiled at her. “Thanks for being…well…awesome. And I’m sorry again.”
She smiled slightly at me, and then we walked out together. I walked her to her car. We hugged again, and I opened the driver’s side door for her. She got in and I closed it for her, then watched as she drove away.