Chapter 14
Hope finished up her post-morning ocean swim shower and was getting dressed when her phone rang. It was two days after her date with Christen. She looked at her phone. It was Carli.
“Hey Car.”
“So, how’d your date go?” Carli asked.
“It was enjoyable”, Hope answered. Truth was, it had been more enjoyable than she had expected. Carli was right – Christen was really nice. Hope and Christen had gone to dinner and then out for a drink, and then back to the bar in Christen’s hotel for another drink. Afterwards, Christen had invited Hope up to her room, but Hope had politely declined. The media had been following them around all night, snapping pictures and filming video, and the last thing Hope wanted to do was to give them any more fodder for gossip, so Hope had walked Christen to her hotel room, given her a polite kiss on the cheek, and then left the hotel. It had been too late to catch a flight back to Kauai, so Hope had grabbed a room at a nearby hotel and then had flown back the next day.
“So how much longer are you going to stay on the island for?”
“Not sure yet. I’m kind of playing it by ear.”
“Long enough for another date…?” Cali asked, letting it hang, and Hope could tell she that Carli was smiling.
“Car, please…” Hope moaned. “I haven’t decided yet.”
“I’m just saying, Solo, this could be a good thing…”
“I’ll keep you posted, mom. Thanks for setting me up”, Hope said. Carli laughed, and then Hope hung up the phone.
********
“Okay, guys, you have about an hour until showtime, so don’t wander off”, Kelley said to the guys in Pokerface. “Be in the dressing room in forty-five minutes.” The guys waved to Kelley and headed out of the hospitality room, and Kelley looked around. It was empty right now. The quiet before the storm. Normally she enjoyed the quiet moments, but the last few days she had been looking for anything to occupy her time. Quiet moments gave her time to think. Thinking meant thinking about Hope and Christen, and thinking about them together made her heart ache.
Kelley headed over to the food table and was about to make herself a sandwich, when she heard heels click into the room and a voice behind her.
“Are you guys enjoying the tour?” the voice came. Kelley turned around and found herself staring at Christina Aguilera.
“Christina”, Kelley said. She had only spoken with Christina briefly a few times this tour. Mostly Kelley spoke with Christina’s manager, Paul Tilford. This was the first time she had been in a room alone with Christina. “Yeah, it’s been great. And thanks again for having us.”
“Of course”, Christina said, pouring herself a drink. “You guys are doing great.”
“Thank you”, Kelley said. The tour had been going well, but inside Kelley was a mess. All she had been able to think about was the shot of Hope and Christen on TMZ, both dressed up, smiling, Christen taking Hope’s arm as they strolled down the street in Waikiki. Kelley’s thoughts wandered again to, how did this happen? How did they meet? Are they dating? Did they go to Hawaii together? And then, inevitably, her thoughts wandered back to, I really screwed up. I should have stayed with Hope. And now it’s too late….
“Kelley, listen, I wanted to talk with you about something”, Christina’s voice pulled Kelley out of her thoughts. “Paul needs to jump off the tour in two weeks, after the mountain states portion. He was originally going to stay on for the whole thing, which is going to take us through next year, but some personal stuff came up for him. I’ve been watching you, how you work with Pokerface, how you interact with the crew, the press, the venues. I have to say, for someone so young, you’re very good.”
“Thank you, Christina”, Kelley said. “That really means a lot to me.”
Christina looked at Kelley for a moment and then said, “I’d like you to stay on the tour and fill in for Paul when he leaves. I’d like you to manage me for the rest of this tour. It’s a big tour, my first world tour in three years, but I think you’d be up to the task.”
Kelley just stared at Christina. Was this for real? Christina Aguilera, one of the only female music stars bigger than Hope, was asking her to jump on board. “Wow”, was all she said.
“Now, again, it’s just temporary until the end of the tour, but, well…” Christina let it hang for a moment and then said, “between you and me, I’ve got the feeling that Paul is thinking about retiring. He’s been in the business for 25 years. That’s a long time, and I think he’s burned out. So, I guess the bottom line is, if you jump onboard for the rest of this tour and things work out, we can talk about continuing to work together in the future.”
“Wow”, Kelley said again, thoughts swirling in her head. On the one hand, this was the opportunity of a lifetime, a huge next step in her career, a way to bounce back from the failure of managing Hope. On the other hand, there was Hope. Kelley hadn’t been able to get her off her mind, and as hurt as she was at seeing Hope and Christen together, she just couldn’t let Hope go, and couldn’t shake the feeling that she should never had left Hope’s tour, even if she had stayed on it just to spend time with Hope and let their relationship blossom.
“Listen, Kelley”, Christina said, registering that wheels were turning in Kelley’s head, “no need to tell me right now, but I would like an answer tomorrow, if that’s okay? If it’s not going to be you, then I need to figure out a replacement.”
“You got it, Christina”, Kelley said. “And thank you so much for the opportunity.”
“You bet”, Christina said. “Have a great show tonight”, she said, and then smiled at Kelley, turned around and walked out of the room.
********
“I’m glad you’re still here”, Christen said and smiled, as she took another bite of her spicy ahi roll.
“Me too”, Hope said, and smiled back. It was three nights after their first date. Hope had flown in to Honolulu and reserved a car. She wanted to avoid walking around Waikiki again, in case the paparazzi were out. She had picked up Christen at her hotel, and now they were at a sushi bar in downtown Honolulu.
“So, have you figured out what you’re doing next? Another album? Another tour?”
“I’m not sure yet. Right now, I’m just glad to be away from it all for a bit”, Hope said. She hadn’t gone into detail yet with Christen about her retirement from touring and possible retirement from playing music professionally. Christen was nice, but Hope wasn’t sure if Christen would innocently shoot her mouth off if Hope told her she was thinking about scaling back her involvement in the music business, if not leaving it altogether and just playing for fun, so she had kept to surface topics on their first dinner. Now it was their second dinner, but Hope still wasn’t sure, so she turned it back over to Christen. “How about you? What’s next for you? European club? Or national team training? The Olympics is coming up in Brazil, right?”
“Yep”, Christen said. “I’ll be training with the national team in L.A. until March, then playing with the Chicago Red Stars until early June, and then the national team heads down to Brazil.”
“Sounds great”, Hope said with a smile, and as Christen went on about soccer, Hope looked across the table and thought: it’s just not there. Yes - Christen is nice. The first date was nice, and this date is nice too, Hope thought, but that was about it. There was no spark between them. They had soccer in common, since Hope had played in high school and a bit in college, and Christen kind of followed rock music, but other than that, Hope didn’t connect with Christen. Not like she had connected with Kelley.
********
After dinner Hope’s car had taken her and Christen back to Waikiki. The media had somehow found them again, and they had bombarded them as Hope and Christen had exited the car at Christen's hotel, Christen grabbing Hope’s hand and pulling her towards the entrance, both of them laughing. Now they were on the boardwalk that lined the beach. Christen was leaning against the railing, Hope right next to her.
“Well, this is nice”, Christen said, looking out onto the moonlit water.
“It is”, Hope said with a nod of her head.
“Thanks again for dinner”, Christen said with a smile.
“You’re welcome, Christen.” Hope smiled back.
Christen looked at Hope for a moment, then stepped a bit closer and said, “So, do you want to come up to my room this time?”
Hope looked back at Christen and then said, “Thank you for the offer, but not tonight.”
Christen stepped back a bit and looked back at Hope. “Okay”, she said. The paused for a moment and then said, “Is something wrong?”
“No, nothing’s wrong”, Hope said.
“I mean, did I do something? Like, this is the second time you’ve said ‘no’ to coming up to my room.”
Hope looked at Christen and then took Christen’s hands. “No, look, Christen. You haven’t done anything wrong. I’ve had a wonderful time hanging out with you. It’s just that…” Hope trailed off, trying to figure out how to phrase what she was thinking.
“Just what?” Christen asked.
“Well, I know I haven’t mentioned this yet, but…it’s just that my mind on someone else right now.”
“Oh”, Christen said.
“I’m sorry if I should have mentioned something earlier. It’s just that I couldn’t feel out when the best time to say something was.”
“I get it”, Christen said, understandingly. “I’ve been there before.”
“I mean, don’t take this the wrong way, but the main reason I went out on the first date with you a few nights ago was because my agent suggested it. She knows your agent.”
“I know, Carli Lloyd is her name, right? She knows Jim.”
“Right”, Hope said.
“Agents”, Christen said, and then chuckled. “They’re kind of like ‘parents to the stars’ sometimes. Setting us up on dates.”
Hope laughed in agreement. “Totally. Anyway, Carli knew I was thinking about this other person, and she thought that I could benefit from a nice dinner with a beautiful woman. And don’t get me wrong - I’ve had a very nice time going out to dinner with you, both dinners. And you’re lovely, and beautiful, and nice, but-“
“You just can’t stop thinking about this other person”, Christen said. “I understand. So…do you want to talk about what’s happening?”
Hope smiled at Christen. “No, it’s a long story, but…the bottom line is that I still like her. A lot.”
“I get it”, Christen said. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. But, can I say something? If you like her that much, you should go get her.”
“Well, it’s complicated”, Hope said.
“When is it not?” Christen said back. “Anything worthwhile is never easy, right?”
“I suppose so”, Hope said. “You think I should go for it?”
“Yeah, I do. I mean, you’re a superstar. You can have anyone you want, and I’m sure you’ve met a lot of people. But you want this girl, so she must be really special.”
Hope paused for a moment and then said, “She is.”
“Well, then, you should go get her”, Christen said again.
“I guess I should. I just don’t know if she feels the same way.”
“Well, you should still go for it. I mean, that’s how you made it in music, right? You went for it?”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Hope smiled at Christen, and Christen smiled back. “Thanks, Christen.”
“You’re welcome. And just so you know, I’m not disappointed. Well, maybe a little, but I wasn’t expecting anything. I really just wanted to have some fun with a rock star”, she said with a smile.
Hope laughed. “Thanks again.”
“You’re welcome again”, Christen said. “And I really did enjoy having dinner with you. Twice. So thank you too.”
Hope smiled at Christen and then said, “Can I walk you to your room?”
Christen looked out at the ocean for a moment and then looked back at Hope. “No, I’m going to stay out here for a bit.”
“Okay, well have a good rest of your night”, Hope said and smiled.
“Okay, good night, Hope”, Christen said, and smiled back. Then Hope pulled her in for a hug, gave her a polite kiss on the cheek, and left.
********
Kelley walked into her hotel room and took off her jacket. It was a bit after midnight. The show earlier in the evening had gone well, but all Kelley could think about was her relationship with Hope versus touring with Christina. She had bounced back and forth between the two all night. She took off her clothes, put on her pajamas and brushed her teeth. Then she sat down on the bed. She picked up her phone and stared at it. I’m going to do it, she thought. She found Hope’s number and then typed out a text:
Kelley: Hey, it’s Kelley. I hope you have been well. I just wanted to say that I miss you, and that I should have stayed on your tour…
She finished typing her message and hit send. Then she laid down in her bed and tried to fall asleep.
********
It was too late in the evening to catch a flight back to Kauai, so Hope, as she had done on her first date with Christen, got a room at another hotel in Waikiki. She walked into her room and plopped down on her bed. Then she looked at her phone. The screen was black. She tried to turn it on, but nothing happened. The battery must have gone dead, and she hadn’t brought a charger with her. That’s a bummer, Hope thought. After her talk with Christen, and thinking about what Christen had said, Hope had been thinking about texting Kelley and had actually planned on sending her a text tonight, right before she went to bed. Oh well, she thought. That’ll have to wait until I can get back to my bungalow tomorrow and can charge my phone. One more day won’t hurt, I guess, she thought. Then she pulled back the covers, crawled into bed, and tried to sleep.
********
Kelley poured herself her morning cup of coffee. She yawned, took a sip, and then checked her phone. No message from Hope. She sat down at the table in her hotel room, a little dejected. She had hoped to wake up to a text message from Hope, but she tried to shrug it off. Don’t get down, Kelley thought to herself. Maybe Hope’s just busy. Hopefully not busy with Christen, though, Kelley thought. Thinking about that made her sad, but she tried to shrug it off and think of the positive side of her life. A new opportunity law ahead. A great opportunity, one that would take her career to the next level. She smiled at that thought, then cracked open her laptop. She logged on and pulled up Yahoo, which was her homepage. And there it was. The top article was a shot of Hope and Christen. Christen was holding Hope’s hand. Both of them were laughing. The caption read, ‘Could It Be Love?’ and the subheading read, ‘Hope Solo and Christen Press vacation together in Hawaii’. Kelley’s eyes misted over, and her heart lurched. Now it was definitely too late, she thought. She shut her laptop and her eyes, and the tears started pouring down her face. She stayed like that for a few minutes, then collected herself and stood up. She went to the bathroom and dried her face. Then she took a few deep breaths, picked up her phone, and dialed.
“Paul? It’s Kelley. Can I talk with Christina?”
********
Hope arrived back at her bungalow a bit after noon. She plugged in her phone, took a shower, and then laid down on her couch. She hadn’t slept well at the hotel, and her eyes started to drift closed. She let out a big yawn and then fell into a nap.
The sound of her phone buzzing woke Hope up. Her phone must have recharged. She looked at the screen and her heart froze. It was a message from Kelley. She took a few deep breaths and then opened it up:
Kelley: Hey, it’s Kelley. I hope you have been well. I just wanted to say that I miss you, and that I should have stayed on your tour…
Hope’s heart swelled. It seemed like Kelley had figured out what she wanted, and that was to give it a shot at being together with Hope. Fortuitous timing, Hope thought, since I was going to text her anyway, even if I hadn’t heard from her. This is a good sign, Hope said to herself and smiled. She reread the message several times and then hit the keypad. She started typing out a reply and was midway through, trying to think of the best way to phrase her response, when a call lit up her screen. It was Carli.
“Hey Car.”
“Hey! Did you hear about Kelley?”
“Hear what about Kelley?”
“Kelley is going to be managing Christina Aguilera on her world tour.”
“What?” Hope asked, confused.
“Yeah! I just heard about it from a friend of mine who knows Paul Tilford, Christina’s manager. Paul was going to manage the tour, but he needs to take some time off for personal stuff. Kelley’s managing the opening band on the tour, Pokerface. Pokerface is done with the tour in like a week, but apparently Christina asked Kelley to stay on and fill in for Paul.”
“Wait, are you serious?” Hope asked. Her mouth went dry and her guy started to clench.
“Yeah, it’s all over the trade sites. Check out MTV.com. There’s a blurb on it on the homepage.” Hope was silent for a moment, so Carli said, “Solo? Are you there?”
“Yeah, I’m here”, Hope said, a dejected tone creeping into her voice.
“Hey – sorry if I’m the bearer of bad news. I just thought you might want to know.”
“Thanks for telling me, Car.”
“Sure”, Carli said. She was silent for a moment and then said, “Hope, what is it?”
Hope sighed and then said, “I just got a text from Kelley today. She said she missed me, and that she should have stayed on the tour with me, and I was actually in the middle of responding when you called, and now I hear this.” Hope was silent for a moment and then said, “I just don’t know what to make of this, or her, anymore.”
“Huh...yeah, I don’t know either”, Carli said, thinking. “But like I said before, she’s young, so maybe she’s still trying to figure it out for herself. Look, I’m sorry”, Carli said. She was silent for a moment and then she changed the subject. “Hey, how did your second date with Christen go? I saw your guys' pic on the Yahoo homepage today.”
“It was fine”, Hope said. “I mean, she’s nice and all, and she’s beautiful, but, well…I’m just not feeling a real connection. Not like I felt with Kelley, anyway.”
“Hey, I hear ya”, Carli said. “Well, maybe it’s still worth pursuing…?” Carli let it hang.
“I don’t know”, Hope said.
“Look – no stress on it. Just…maybe you two can see each other when you’re both back from vacation. I know she’s on the national team, and I think they train in L.A.”
“Yeah, they do. I’ll think about it”, Hope said and sighed.
“Alright, well, hang in there, Solo. Call if you want to talk.”
“Thanks Car”, Hope said and then hung up the phone. She sat there for a moment, thinking. Kelley…saying she misses me and shouldn’t have left me, and now she’s leaving on a worldwide tour. I just don’t understand, Hope thought. A tear formed in her eye, and she blinked it away. Then another one formed, and another one formed, and then the rain started falling. She let herself cry for a few minutes, then walked to the bathroom, grabbed a towel and dried her face. Then she picked up her phone, her fingers hovering over the keypad.