Chapter 1
The lights went down, and a roar like a freight train thundered throughout the arena. Twenty thousand people screamed at the top of their lungs. The rock star known as Hope stood behind the stage, clothed in a tight pink top, black leather pants and black heels, microphone in hand. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, listening to the sound of the crowd.
"Showtime, Hope", came a voice to her right. Hope opened her eyes and saw her PR agent, Carli Lloyd, dressed as always in a sharp business suit. "Go get 'em, Solo", Carli said and smiled. Hope smiled back, then motioned to her band members who were standing around her, and they took the stage. A chant of "Hope! Hope! Hope!" boomed throughout the arena.
"Los Angeles Arena! How are we feeling tonight?" Hope shouted into the microphone as she stepped onstage. The roar escalated to an ear-splitting level. "Alright - let's rock n' roll!" Drummer Ashlyn Harris crashed the hi-hat four times, and then the pyrotechnics went off, the stage lights flooded on, and the band launched into their opening song.
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The band hit their final note, and the arena shook with applause. The hottest rock singer in the world raised her hands in the air.
“Los Angeles Arena, thank you so much!” Hope shouted into the microphone. She flashed her brilliant smile, and the effect of a strobe light blitzed the arena as thousands of cameras snapped pictures. “We had a great time tonight, and we love you guys. See you next time!” Hope shouted, then put the microphone onto the mic stand and took a deep bow. Her band gathered in the center of the stage and bowed with her, and the roar of the crowd ascended to an ear-splitting level as Hope blew the arena a kiss with both hands.
Hope was greeted by Carli as she walked offstage. "Great job, Solo", Carli said, as she fell in stride with Hope. Lead guitarist Megan Rapinoe grabbed a bottle of Jameson from a stagehand, gave Hope a thumbs up and then headed towards her dressing room, a hot redhead in tow. Keyboardist Sydney Leroux hoisted up two bottles of champagne and then stopped to pose for photos with a group of lucky fans and friends who had managed to secure some backstage passes. Ashlyn and bassist Ali Krieger disappeared into Ashlyn's dressing room. Hope smiled and shook her head, taking in the entire scene, and then started walking through the backstage hallway towards her own dressing room. As she walked, she was mobbed by a throng of music industry personnel, hopefuls and hangers-on.
“Hope! Can I get a few minutes for an interview?”
“Hope! Just a few quick photos, please!”
“Hope, drinks at the club later?”
"Hope, did you listen to my band's new album yet?"
“Hope, can my band open for you on your upcoming tour?”
"Hope…” the questions blurred together and became one solid din. Hope evaded them politely, put on her best smile, and shook hands and gave hugs as she squeezed her way through the crowd to her dressing room. Finally, she made it. Carli followed her in and closed the door.
“It’s like a mob out there, huh?” Carli said and smiled.
“Oh my God, no kidding”, Hope said, as she plopped down on a couch.
“How do you feel?” Carli asked.
“Exhausted. I mean, I think we played well, but I’m exhausted.”
“I bet. Well, you’ve been on the road for eight straight months. How does it feel to be done?"
"Good", Hope said. "I mean, playing all the time was a blast, but I'm glad to be back home."
"Well, you’re back home at least for now. You'll probably be back out on tour in a few weeks. I'm working on finalizing that. Anyway, how about you take a few minutes to relax, and then we'll go do some interviews, sign autographs and do a few photo opps?”
Hope sighed. She looked at the ground in silence for a moment and then said, “Alright”.
“Hey – you okay?” Carli asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine”, Hope said, trying to sound upbeat, even though she was completely wiped out.
“Are you sure? You seem, like…unenthused, or something.”
“No, it’s not that.” Hope exhaled and said, “I'm just tired." She paused and then said, “And…it’s just…this whole rock star thing is…overwhelming sometimes.”
Carli walked over to Hope and rubbed Hope’s shoulder encouragingly with her hand. “Hey, c’mon, Solo. You know how it works. You’ve been crushin’ it for ten years now. You’ve had a career that most musicians only dream about.”
“I know”, Hope sighed. “And, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful or anything, and you know I love playing music. It’s just that…well, you know - I didn't get into music for the fame, or even the money. You know me, Car – I’m just a simple girl from a small town. I’m not a limelight seeker.” Carli smiled at her empathetically, and Hope shrugged her shoulders and continued. “It’s like, after all this time…I still haven’t adjusted to being in the spotlight. I guess I’m just a more private person. I don’t know…it's just…sometimes, I’m still not sure if I’m cut out for this whole rock star lifestyle thing.”
“I understand”, Carli said, “but you made it this far.” Hope smiled, and Carli said, “Well, why don’t you just relax right now, and then maybe we'll just do one short interview and maybe a couple quick photos and sign autographs for a few minutes, okay?”
“Okay, I can do that." Hope smiled in agreement and nodded. Carli knows how to handle me, she thought. She knows just how much to ask of me without going over the top. "Hey - how's Brian, by the way?" Hope asked.
"He's good", Carli said. "I talked with him yesterday. He's still in Europe, filming his next movie. He'll be home soon, though." Carli smiled at the thought of her husband, famed movie director Brian Hollins, returning home after being away for almost a year. Hope smiled back at her, and Carli started to open the door and then said, “Hey – a bunch of people are talking about going to Victoria Room later, the new club that Johnny Depp just opened. It's near your house. You wanna go?”
“I don’t know”, Hope said. “I haven’t seen my house in eight months. I kind of just want to go home, sit on my couch, drink an iced mocha, eat some ice cream and watch Orange Is The New Black.” Hope said. Hope’s house was just 20 minutes away from the Los Angeles Arena, a single-story modern ranch-style house in the Hollywood foothills. Carli had helped her purchase it when they had started working together, nearly ten years ago. Hope had been a twenty-one year-old struggling musician. Carli had just started working in PR at a record label. She had caught Hope’s performance at an open mic, and after hearing three songs, she knew Hope would be a star. After Hope got offstage, Carli had introduced herself. The next week, Carli had introduced Hope to the head of her record label, and the rest, as they say, is history.
Hope smiled and continued. “You know me, Car - I’m not really a partier. And I’m not really a Hollywood-type. I don't really care about the glitzy clubs." Hope’s smile took on a wistful turn, and she said, "I'm just a regular girl…looking for love.” She batted her eyelashes theatrically.
Carli laughed. “Well, who knows? You might meet that 'special someone' at the club tonight…” Carli trailed off.
Hope rolled her eyes good-naturedly and then gave Carli the look that she used to give her mother when her mother would try to set her up on dates in high school. “Ugh. Car - we've talked about this before. You know I appreciate you always looking out for my love life, but I'm not gonna find that 'special someone' at a club at midnight. And you know I'm never just looking for a one night hookup”, Hope said. “I mean, honestly – the girl that I end up spending the rest of my life with probably won’t even have anything to do with music. I want someone more…I don't know…down to earth, or something.”
“There are down to earth people in the music industry", Carli said, earnestly.
“No there aren’t”, Hope said light-heartedly. “Well, maybe one person - you.” She smiled at Carli.
Carli smiled back. “Two – you”. The two friends shared an understanding laugh, and then Carli changed subjects and said, “Well, you’ve got tomorrow off, and then you start with the new management company the day after. That should streamline things and help to contain the chaos.” Hope’s former management company had tried to cheat her out of a bunch of money about a year ago, so she had left them, and Carli had been acting as her manager ever since.
“Ugh…another management company”, Hope groaned. She looked at Carli and half-joking, half-serious said, “I hate management companies, and I hate managers. Snakes and thieves, all of them”. Carli laughed, and Hope paused for a moment and then said, “Except for you. Won’t you just continue being my manager? I mean, you understand me, like, what I want and what I don't, and you’ve done such a good job taking care of me." Hope looked at Carli and smiled. "And you've been a good friend to me, too. I don't know what I'd do without you."
“Well thanks, Solo. I appreciate it, and likewise with the friendship, but artist management isn’t really my specialty", Carli said. "I’m a PR agent. I’m acting as your manager because you’re my friend, but you need real management again, and this management company, The Firm, is the best in the business." The Firm was one of the largest music artist management companies in the world. They managed Christina Aguilera, Kings Of Leon, Muse, Snoop Dogg, Metallica, Mumford and Sons, and many others.
“I don’t know…” Hope began, but Carli cut her off.
"Look, Hope – you’ve been a star for ten years, and you’re still on top, but, you know what they say in Hollywood: here today, gone later today. You need the best management in the business to stay in the game, and the God’s honest truth is that I just can't provide that to you.” Carli smiled apologetically, and Hope nodded her head.
“Yeah, I guess”, Hope said. “Well, maybe…” Hope trailed off.
“Maybe what, Hope?”
“Maybe…I don’t know. Maybe I just…” What Hope was thinking about saying was that it was possible that maybe she didn’t care about being on top anymore as much as she used to, and maybe it would be worth giving up the benefits of being on top, like playing to thousands of people, if it meant not having to deal with all of the pressure of being a famous rock star and all of the questionable people in the business. That thought had been creeping into her mind more and more lately.
Carli seemed to sense her thoughts and said, “Hey - I know you’re exhausted. Don’t think about anything right now. Just relax.” She ran her hand through Hope’s hair, and Hope smiled faintly. There was a moment of silence, and then Carli said, “You sure you don’t to come to the club with us?”
“I’m sure, thanks. Like I said, I'm not gonna meet the girl that I'm going to end up marrying at a club. You know…I’ll probably meet her while I’m…I don't know…shopping at the grocery store, or something.”
Carli laughed. “Yeah, yeah, okay, Miss Meet-Cute. Just thought I’d ask again. Anyway, go ahead and take your time. I’ll be right outside when you’re ready to face the mob.”
“Thanks, Car”, Hope said. Carli winked at her, walked out, and shut the door. Hope rested her head on the back of the couch and closed her eyes. She thought about how nice it would be to just go home right now and have a special someone to snuggle up with on the couch. Just a regular night in, like a normal person. She really did love playing music, but she also really could do without all of the limelight duties that came with being a Top 10 rock star. It was tiring, always being surrounded by people, always having to be "on", whether it watching how she looked and what she did and said because the media was always on her, or whether it was keeping her guard up because she wasn’t sure of what the people around her wanted. She had dreamed of being a rock star ever since she was fifteen, but she had never imagined that it would be so exhausting. She rested for another moment, trying to psych herself up. Okay - let's do this, she said to herself. She opened her eyes, got up off the couch, put on her brilliant smile, and then opened the door to face the mob.