The fight

It was sometime in the middle of the night when Viv woke up the first time.

She didn’t sit up, didn’t gasp — just blinked fast into the dark, her breathing shallow, heart pounding like she’d just run a mile. The room was quiet, still, but her chest felt tight, like something was pressing down on it. She curled in a little, trying to breathe through it, trying not to wake Beth.

But Beth had always been a light sleeper.

“Viv?” her voice came soft and groggy from behind her, warm with sleep but laced with concern. “You okay?”

Viv swallowed, still facing the wall. “…I’m fine.”

Beth scooted closer, her hand brushing lightly over Viv’s back. “Nightmare?”

Viv nodded, not trusting her voice. She didn’t say anything else. Just lay there, still as possible, until Beth’s hand settled more firmly between her shoulder blades.

“Come here,” Beth whispered gently. “Please.”

Viv turned slowly and let herself be pulled into Beth’s chest. She felt Beth’s arms wrap around her, warm and steady, her breath soft against Viv’s temple.

“You’re alright. I’ve got you.”

Viv closed her eyes, her hand suddenly clinging to Beth’s hoodie.

“Can you… just hold me?” she asked, voice so quiet it barely came out. “Tight?”

Beth didn’t hesitate. She pulled her in closer, one hand spreading over Viv’s back, the other cradling the back of her head.

“Of course. Not letting go.”

Viv breathed a little deeper. Slower. She let her forehead rest against Beth’s collarbone, letting the warmth sink into her, letting herself believe it was safe to fall back asleep.

It took a while, but eventually, she did.

The second time, it was closer to morning.

Viv flinched awake with a jolt — not loud, but sharp — and Beth was upright in a second.

“Hey—hey, it’s okay,” she said quickly, voice hoarse but steady. “It’s just me, love. You’re okay.”

Viv sat up too, rubbing at her face, trying to hide how shaky she was. “Sorry,” she mumbled. “Didn’t mean to wake you again.”

“You’re not waking me.” Beth slid in close, not caring that the covers were falling off her shoulders. “You never have to apologize for that. C’mere.”

Viv didn’t move at first. Then she did — slowly, leaning into Beth again, forehead resting just under her jaw.

Beth kissed the top of her head and whispered, “Same dream?”

“…Sort of.”

Beth didn’t push for more. She just wrapped her arms around her, rubbed soft, slow circles on her back, and murmured, “You’re safe. I’m here, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

Viv nodded, quiet against her shoulder.

Beth didn’t stop holding her. She didn’t stop touching her.

By the time the third time rolled around — not long before the sky started lightening — Viv didn’t say anything at all. She just rolled over, half-asleep and heart racing, and reached for Beth.

Beth woke to the feeling of Viv’s hand on her arm, fingers closing softly around her wrist.

“‘M here,” Beth murmured, voice low and warm. “I’m right here.”

Viv didn’t answer. She just pressed in close, curled up small in Beth’s arms again.

Beth pulled the blankets over both of them, tucked her chin over Viv’s head, and held her tight. One hand stroking soft lines up and down her back, her other hand squeezing around Viv’s waist.

No words that time.

Just safety. Just warmth. Just quiet, until Viv fell asleep again.

Beth woke up to the soft light coming through the curtains, the room still quiet and warm.

Viv was still asleep, tucked close to her, face pressed against the pillow, her hand resting lightly on Beth’s side. Her breathing was slow, finally steady — not like the restless tossing and turning from the night before. Beth didn’t want to move. Not yet.

She just looked at her for a while, brushing her thumb gently along Viv’s arm under the covers. She looked so tired, even in sleep. Beth leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head.

“I love you,” she whispered, just barely loud enough for the words to leave her lips.

She slowly slid out from under the blanket, careful not to wake her. Once she was standing, she tucked the blanket around Viv a little tighter and gave one last look before stepping out of the room.

Beth stepped into the living room, rubbing the side of her face with one hand, still half-asleep. She spotted Steph curled up in the corner of the couch, legs tucked under her, scrolling through her phone. A mug of tea sat beside her on the coffee table, steam still rising gently from it.

“Morning,” Beth said, her voice scratchy and soft.

Steph looked up and gave her a warm smile. “Morning. You look like you need about five more hours of sleep.”

Beth chuckled under her breath and made her way toward the kitchen. “I probably do.”

Steph set her phone down on her lap. “You sleep okay?”

Beth opened the fridge and pulled out the oat milk, shrugging as she turned back. “Not really. Viv kept waking up.”

Steph tilted her head. “Yeah?”

Beth nodded, reaching up for a mug. “Nightmares. She didn’t say much—just kind of grabbed onto me every time. I’d talk to her until she settled, but… it happened a few times.”

Steph frowned, watching Beth quietly for a beat. “She still sleeping?”

Beth glanced down the hallway, then nodded. “Yeah. Out cold. I didn’t wanna wake her—she looked properly peaceful for once.”

Steph hummed. “Good. Let her sleep. She probably needs it.”

Beth leaned against the counter, arms crossed loosely over her chest. “Yeah, that’s what I thought too.”

Steph gave her a small smile. “You making breakfast?”

Beth looked at the mug in her hand and laughed softly. “Eventually. Haven’t got past just holding it yet.”

Steph grinned. “That’s a very relatable energy.”

Beth opened a cupboard and pulled down another mug. “You want?”

“I wouldn’t say no.”

Beth moved around the kitchen, still shaking off the sleep, grabbing a pan from the rack. She cracked a couple of eggs and let them sizzle as she leaned over the counter, rubbing her eyes.

Steph sat at the edge of the couch, still nursing her tea. She watched her for a second, then said lightly, “So… I’m guessing things are good?”

Beth looked over her shoulder, the smallest smile tugging at her mouth. “Yeah. I mean… I think so.”

Steph tilted her head. “You talked?”

Beth nodded, flipping the eggs. “We did. Last night, after we got home. A lot actually… I apologized. And she—well, she listened. We both did, I guess.”

Steph gave a small smile. “That’s good.”

Beth grabbed some plates from the cupboard, her back still half turned. “I really thought she was gonna break up with me.”

Steph blinked. “Seriously?”

Beth let out a breath, setting the plates down with a soft clink. “Yeah. After the way I acted, what I said… I wouldn’t have blamed her. But instead, we just… sat on the floor and talked for hours.”

There was a beat of quiet, just the faint hum of the kettle heating and the soft shuffle of Steph adjusting her seat.

Beth turned around then, leaning against the counter, her voice softer. “We talked about… everything.”

The way she said it—slightly more emphasis, a shift in tone—was enough for Steph to understand. Her expression shifted, just a bit more serious. She gave a small nod.

“She told me she talked to you,” Beth added.

Steph’s brow lifted, but she nodded again. “She didn’t say much. But yeah… she talked. A little.”

Beth turned back to the stove, flipping the egg with a bit more care than needed.

Beth was quiet for a while, her focus on flipping the egg like it was the most complicated thing in the world. She didn’t say anything for a bit, just let the kitchen sounds fill the silence. Steph didn’t press. She sipped her tea and waited.

After a beat, Beth finally said, “Hey… can I tell you something?”

Steph looked up, setting her mug down. “Of course.”

Beth nodded slowly, still not meeting her eyes. “You can’t tell anyone though, okay? Not even Viv. Especially not Viv. I mean it.”

Steph straightened up a bit, eyebrows pulling in. “Alright. You’re scaring me a little. What’s going on?”

Beth set the spatula down and leaned against the counter, arms crossed. She looked at Steph, then away again. “It’s about… it’s something Viv told me. Last night.”

Steph didn’t move. “Okay…”

Beth stayed quiet for a second, still leaning on the counter, arms crossed. Then she glanced at Steph and said, low, “She told me Lisa pushed her.”

Steph frowned. “What do you mean—pushed her?”

Beth looked down at the floor, then back up. “Like… actually pushed her. Against a wall.”

Steph straightened a little. “Wait—seriously?”

Beth nodded, slow. “Yeah. She told me last night. Said it only happened once. But…”

She trailed off, then reached for the kettle without really needing it. “They were living here already. Last year when went out to celebrate a win—Viv didn’t wanna go, she was tired, had a headache, but Lisa got mad about it, so she went anyway.”

Steph was quiet, watching her.

“And when they got back, Lisa was still pissed. Viv said she was just trying to go to bed, but Lisa kept following her, shouting, and then grabbed her wrist—tight. When Viv tried to pull away, she just… pushed her. Into the wall.”

“Jesus Christ,” Steph muttered.

Beth nodded. “She said Lisa let go right after, apologized a bunch, didn’t touch her again that night. But Viv said something changed. Like she started flinching whenever Lisa raised her voice. Started feeling like she had to tiptoe around everything.”

Steph leaned on the counter now too, her voice quiet. “She ever tell anyone before?”

Beth shook her head. “No. She told me I was the first. Said she hadn’t really even said it out loud until last night.”

Steph exhaled, rubbing a hand over her face. “Fuck. That’s… awful. I can’t believe— I mean, we all played together. I had no idea.”

Beth nodded, then looked over. “I shouldn’t be telling you this. She didn’t want anyone to know. But I couldn’t keep it in, Steph. I needed someone else to know.”

Steph met her eyes. “I won’t say anything. Not to anyone. Promise.”

Beth gave her a small, tired smile. “Thanks.”

Beth turned back to the stove, quietly finishing up the last of the eggs while the kettle kept hissing low behind her. The kitchen was filled with the soft clinks of plates and the comforting warmth of the morning light stretching across the counter.

Footsteps padded down the hallway a moment later—soft, slow ones—and Beth looked over just as Viv stepped into view. She was still in her hoodie, sleeves half-covering her hands, eyes puffy with sleep. Her hair was a bit tangled, like she hadn’t looked in a mirror before coming out. She looked small.

“Morning,” Beth said softly, wiping her hands on a towel.

Steph glanced up from where she was sitting on the edge of the couch, mug of tea in her hand. “Hey, Viv.”

Viv gave them both a quiet nod. “Morning.”

Beth smiled, gentle and warm. “Breakfast is just about ready. You wanna sit down?”

Viv hesitated. Her eyes flicked toward the kitchen table, but instead of answering, she crossed the room and sat down on the floor next to Myle, who perked up immediately and stretched toward her. Viv let out a breath and reached out, running a hand slowly along Myle’s side, her fingers curling into her fur like it grounded her.

Beth exchanged a glance with Steph, then turned back to the stove, her chest a little tighter than it had been a moment ago.

A few minutes later, she called over gently, “Viv? Food’s ready.”

Viv didn’t move right away. She pressed a kiss to the top of Myle’s head, gave her one last pat, and then stood up and made her way to the kitchen table. She sat down wordlessly, tugging her sleeves over her hands again. She didn’t look at either of them.

Beth set a plate in front of her and one in front of Steph before sliding into the seat across from Viv. She didn’t say anything at first, just picked up her own fork and started eating slowly, hoping Viv might follow her lead.

Steph took a bite of toast and broke the silence with a soft smile. “This is good, by the way. Like… proper comforting breakfast.”

“Thanks,” Beth said, glancing at Viv again.

Viv was moving her food around on the plate more than eating it, nibbling a little but not really finishing anything. She didn’t look up.

Beth nudged her plate a little closer to her. “Try to eat a bit more, babe,” she said, not pushing—just quiet, kind encouragement.

Viv gave a tiny nod, didn’t say anything, but she took another small bite. That was something.

The rest of breakfast passed in soft conversation between Beth and Steph—nothing deep, just enough to fill the silence. Viv didn’t join in, just sat quietly between them, sipping her tea like she was somewhere far away.

When they were done, Viv stood up without a word and drifted back toward Myle, dropping down onto the floor again and curling up beside her like it was the only spot in the house that didn’t ask anything of her.

“I’m gonna shower,” Steph said as she got up, giving Beth a small smile. “Thanks for breakfast.”

“Yeah, of course,” Beth said.

Steph disappeared down the hall, and Beth quietly moved through the kitchen, clearing plates, rinsing them off, wiping the counter. She wasn’t in a rush. Just steady. When everything was done, she dried her hands and looked over at Viv still curled up on the floor with Myle, her hand moving slowly over the dog’s fur.

Beth walked over and sank down beside her, knees brushing gently. She didn’t say anything right away. Just let herself settle there.

Viv didn’t look over, but after a second, she leaned her weight ever so slightly against Beth’s side. Not much, but enough.

Beth reached over and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her in closer.

Viv shifted a little, still petting Myle, then spoke quietly. “Sorry I was… weird at breakfast.”

Beth glanced down at her, softening. “Hey. Don’t do that.”

Viv gave a faint shrug. “I just didn’t really know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Beth said gently. “It’s okay to just need some Myle time. She’s a good therapist.”

That earned her the smallest smile, but Viv still didn’t look over. She just leaned into Beth a little more, like she wanted to say thank you without saying it.

Beth brushed a hand over her hair, fingers slipping through the ends. “You okay?”

Viv nodded, slow. “Yeah. I mean… kinda. Just tired.”

Beth tilted her head. “You didn’t sleep great.”

“I kept waking up,” Viv admitted, her voice still soft. “Like every hour. Sometimes I didn’t even know why. Just… panic, I guess.”

Beth wrapped her arm a little tighter around her. “I know. You kept grabbing for me.”

Viv finally looked up at that, her eyes flickering with something between guilt and relief. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry for that,” Beth said, pressing a kiss to her temple. “You can wake me up a thousand times if it helps. I don’t care.”

Viv’s eyes closed at the kiss. “You always know what to say.”

“Only with you,” Beth said, smiling against her hair. “With everyone else I’m a disaster.”

That got a quiet chuckle from Viv, small but real. Beth felt her relax just a little more, her hand finally stilling on Myle’s fur.

“I love you, you know,” Beth murmured after a pause. “So much.”

“I know,” Viv whispered back. “I love you too.”

A couple weeks passed in a blur. Quiet days, slow mornings, Beth doing her best to give Viv all the time and space she needed—without ever being too far. Things had settled, sort of. Viv hadn’t said much about everything they’d talked about, and Beth hadn’t pushed. She didn’t need to. Viv was gentler lately. Clingier too, though she didn’t say that out loud. And now, the surgery was tomorrow.

They were curled up on the couch, the quiet hum of a football match playing in the background, but neither of them was really watching. Viv was half on top of Beth, her head resting on Beth’s chest, legs tangled over hers. She hadn’t stopped fidgeting all day—chewing her lip, tapping her fingers, zoning out completely.

Beth ran a hand slowly through her hair, trying to ease some of the tension out of her shoulders. “What time do we have to be there tomorrow?” she asked gently, voice low so it didn’t sound like too much.

Viv didn’t answer right away. She shifted slightly, exhaled, then mumbled, “Eight-thirty.”

Beth nodded. “Okay. Early, but not awful. Do you know how long it’ll take?”

Viv shrugged, her voice muffled against Beth’s hoodie. “Couple hours. Maybe three.”

“Alright,” Beth said, still stroking her hair. “And after? Are you supposed to stay at the clinic or…?”

“They said I can go home after, as long as everything goes fine. Just need someone to take me.” She paused, then added, “They said I’ll probably be out of it for the rest of the day.”

Beth gave her a soft squeeze. “You’ll have me. I’ll take you and bring you home and then spoil you rotten.”

That earned her a small, tired smile. “Don’t have to.”

“I know,” Beth said, brushing her thumb across Viv’s arm. “But I want to.”

Viv shifted a little on top of Beth, like she couldn’t quite settle. Football was still playing quietly on the TV, just background noise now. Beth had one hand resting lazily on Viv’s back, thumb tracing circles, the other curled under her head.

Viv tilted her head, pressing a soft kiss to Beth’s jaw. Then another, just under her ear. Beth smiled faintly, letting her eyes close.

Viv shifted again, lifting her face to kiss Beth properly this time. It started slow, but she leaned in deeper, fingers brushing the side of Beth’s neck as her mouth opened a little more. Beth kissed her back—for a few seconds—then slowed it down, pressing one last kiss to Viv’s lips before pulling away and kissing her forehead instead.

Viv stilled.

Beth kept her arms around her, kissed her temple. But she could feel the shift.

Viv pulled back slightly, just enough to look down at her. “Why don’t you want to have sex with me anymore?”

Beth blinked. “What?”

Viv looked away quickly, her fingers tightening on the hem of Beth’s shirt. “I mean… you don’t. Not since I told you all that stuff. You don’t… you never want anything anymore.”

Beth sat up a little, concern knitting her brows. “Viv, that’s not—”

Viv rushed ahead, still not looking at her. “Usually you do. Usually if I kiss you like that, you want more. And now it’s been—what, two weeks? We haven’t done anything.You are the one who always wants it. you usually can’t go two weeks without it, and now I feel like I’m the only one even trying.”

Beth opened her mouth, closed it, then sat up more, brushing her fingers gently along Viv’s cheek. “Hey. Viv. Look at me.”

Viv hesitated, then finally met her eyes.

“I still want you,” Beth said softly. “I promise you, I do.”

“Then why…?” Viv asked, her voice small. “Is what I tell you a turn off?”

“No,” Beth said quickly. “No, love, not at all. I just… I got scared. Not of you, just—of pushing. After everything you told me, I didn’t want you to feel like I was expecting something. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to.”

Viv was quiet for a beat, her eyes flicking down to Beth’s shirt again. “I wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want to.”

Beth’s voice was gentle. “I know. But I also know that for a long time, you… went along with things even when you didn’t really want them. I don’t want that for us. I don’t want that for you.”

Viv swallowed. “It’s just… it’s hard not to feel like maybe I ruined it. Like maybe now, every time I touch you like that, all you think about is that.”

Beth’s face softened completely. “No. God, Viv, no. That’s not what’s happening. You didn’t ruin anything. And I don’t think about that when I’m with you—I think about you. How much I love you. How badly I want you to feel safe with me.”

Viv’s shoulders slumped slightly, like she was holding her breath and finally let it go. “I just miss you.”

Beth didn’t say anything at first. She just leaned in and kissed Viv—slow and deep, her hand coming up to cradle her face like she was afraid she might disappear. Viv kissed her back instantly, her fingers curling in Beth’s hoodie, holding on like she needed it.

“I want you,” Beth murmured against her lips between kisses. “God, I’ve wanted you. I’ve missed kissing you. Missed touching you.” She pulled back just enough to look at her, her voice softer now. “The other day, you were getting changed after working out—standing there in nothing but your sports bra and those stupid little shorts—and I had to literally walk out of the room because I couldn’t think straight.”

Viv blinked, a little startled, then let out a soft laugh. “Really?”

Beth gave her a lopsided smile. “Yeah. You were just... stretching or something. Had no idea I was even there. And I was ready to lose it.”

Viv smiled wider now—shy but real—and Beth kissed her again, slow and open-mouthed, one hand at the back of Viv’s neck, the other sliding down her side.

“Can I…?” Beth whispered against her lips, her voice a little rougher now. “Can I take care of you? Just—let me take the lead, yeah?”

Viv nodded, cheeks flushed, eyes already fluttering shut. “Yeah,” she breathed. “Please.”

Beth kissed her again, deeper this time, guiding them as she gently rolled them over until Viv was lying back against the cushions, and Beth was above her. Her hand brushed under the hem of Viv’s hoodie, fingers grazing warm skin, and Viv arched into her touch instinctively.

Beth’s lips moved to her neck, slow and careful, mouthing at the sensitive spot just beneath her jaw. “Tell me if you want me to stop,” she whispered.

Viv shook her head, her breath catching. “I don’t want you to.”

Beth’s hand slid lower, over her hips, under the soft fabric of her sweatpants, and paused when she felt the unmistakable heat there. She glanced up, kissed the corner of Viv’s mouth, and whispered, “Already?”

Viv looked away, slightly embarrassed, but nodded. “Told you I missed you.”

Beth smiled, her forehead resting briefly against Viv’s. “Yeah,” she whispered. “I can feel it.”

Beth’s hand moved under the hem of Viv’s sweats, fingers sliding past the band of her underwear, slow and careful like she was still asking permission even after Viv had already said yes.

Viv’s breath hitched in her throat, a soft gasp slipping out as her hips shifted ever so slightly toward the touch. Beth kissed the corner of her mouth, then her jaw, her voice a murmur against her skin.

“Like this?” she whispered, fingers barely moving, just enough to tease.

Viv nodded quickly, her hand tightening in the back of Beth’s hoodie. “Yeah,” she breathed out. “God, yeah.”

Beth smiled into her neck, letting her hand move again, gentle and steady. “I’ve missed you like this,” she murmured, lips trailing down to Viv’s collarbone. “Just… you. All of you.”

Viv let out a shaky breath, her cheeks flushed. “I missed your fingers,” she whispered, eyes fluttering closed for a second. “I… really missed this.”

Beth looked at her, heart flipping at the way Viv looked both undone and safe. “Can I ask you something?” she murmured.

“Was it just the workout thing?” Viv asked while beth was kissing behind Viv’s ear. “Or have there been other moments? You know—where you wanted me like that?”

Beth chuckled, quiet and warm. “Baby… there were so many,” she whispered, mouth brushing against Viv’s jaw. “The other day, when you left the bathroom door open? You were brushing your hair, still wrapped in your towel—water dripping down your back, and I could see the curve of your—” She bit back the rest with a quiet laugh against Viv’s cheek. “You weren’t even trying. And I had to physically stop myself from walking in and kissing you.”

Viv turned her head to look at her, flushed and a little breathless. “You could’ve,” she said softly. “I would’ve let you.”

Beth kissed her again, a bit deeper now, fingers working Viv up in a rhythm that had her shifting under her, her breaths shorter. Viv’s hand tangled in Beth’s hoodie again, pulling her in.

“I want you to feel good,” Beth whispered, kissing along her neck. “I want you to feel safe. Wanted. Always.”

Viv nodded, lips brushing against Beth’s jaw. “You make me feel all of that.”

Beth was just about to kiss her again when—

The sound of the front door opening cut through the moment like a snap of cold air.

Beth froze. Viv jolted under her, both of them suddenly very aware of how close they were, how not-presentable they looked.

Beth yanked her hand out of Viv’s sweats like she’d been burned. Viv sat up quickly, breath catching in her throat, her fingers still bunched in the front of Beth’s hoodie. Beth ran a shaky hand through her hair, trying to fix it, trying to look less like she'd just had her hand down her girlfriend's pants. Viv pulled her legs in and clamped them together, blinking hard like she was forcing herself to be back in the room.

“Hey!” Steph’s voice called out from the entryway.

Beth barely had time to breathe before Steph stepped into view. She paused for a beat, eyes flicking over the two of them curled together on the couch. The slight distance between them now. The flushed faces. The lingering tension in the air.

“I, uh…” Steph blinked once, then held up a small paper bag. “I got pastries. Thought we could all use a treat. You two hungry?”

Beth cleared her throat, hoping to make her voice sound halfway normal. “Yeah,” she said, maybe a touch too fast. “That sounds great.”

Steph nodded slowly, clearly clocking something, but gracefully choosing not to say a word. “I’ll get plates.”

She turned toward the kitchen, and the moment her back was turned, Beth looked at Viv. Her hand slid up to brush a thumb just under her jaw.

“You okay?” she murmured, voice low and warm.

Viv’s cheeks were still flushed. She nodded, eyes flicking toward the kitchen and back again. “Yeah. Yeah. Just—caught off guard.”

Beth pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. “Sorry, love,” she whispered. “You need a minute? I can make up an excuse. Take you to the bedroom. Finish what I started..”

Viv huffed out the tiniest laugh, eyes crinkling. “I think I can handle it… for now.”

Beth smiled. “I’ll make it worth the wait, promise.”

Viv leaned in, her voice even quieter now. “I’m just gonna go change really quick though.”

Beth raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

Viv gave her a look. “You kinda ruined this pair.”

Beth’s lips curved into a smirk, but she kept it contained. “Guilty.”

Viv stood carefully, smoothing her hoodie as she went. She brushed her hand over Beth’s shoulder once as she passed, and Beth watched her disappear down the hall before turning toward the kitchen to help Steph with the plates.

Beth was lining up the mugs on the table, trying to focus on getting the tea poured without spilling it. Her hands weren’t exactly steady yet. Steph was unpacking the pastries beside her, quietly setting them onto a plate, but Beth could feel the weight of her glance.

After a moment, Steph cleared her throat and said, careful and a bit awkward, “Hey... sorry for, uh. Walking in on— that.”

Beth fumbled with the mugs for a second too long, her fingers suddenly clumsy around the ceramic. “We were just—” she started, voice a touch too high, “just talking.”

Steph looked over at her with one raised brow, clearly not buying it.

Beth let out a breath and shook her head, eyes flicking briefly toward the hallway. “Okay,” she admitted, cheeks flushing a little. “We might’ve been... mid-something.”

“Mid-something,” Steph repeated, deadpan. “Subtle.”

Beth pressed her lips together, trying to keep from laughing. “Sorry,” she said, quietly. “We didn’t exactly expect company.”

Steph handed Beth a plate with two pastries on it, shaking her head with a small grin. “Yeah, I kind of picked up on that.Honestly, I was trying real hard not to make eye contact. ”

Beth grinned. “Fair enough.”

There was a pause as they both fussed with arranging things that were already perfectly fine, until Steph glanced toward the hallway. “Viv okay?”

Beth nodded quickly. “Yeah, yeah—she’s fine. Just, uh...” She hesitated for a beat too long, then blurted, “She went to change. Her underwear.”

Steph gave her a long, slow blink. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

Beth groaned and dropped her face into her hands. “I know. I’m aware. It came out before I could stop it.”

“You literally could’ve said anything else,” Steph said, not unkindly—just amazed. “A jumper. Socks. A tragic coffee spill.”

Beth peeked out from behind her fingers. “Yeah, but then I’d be lying.”

Steph just stared at her for a second, then snorted into her tea. “Jesus Christ, Beth.”

Beth shrugged helplessly. “You know I panic under pressure.”

Viv sat curled up in the passenger seat, hoodie sleeves pulled over her hands, gaze out the window. Beth kept one hand on the wheel, the other resting lightly on Viv’s leg, her thumb brushing small circles just above her knee.

She didn’t try to fill the silence. Viv didn’t need that. She just needed the quiet, needed to sit with it all—and Beth understood that.

When they pulled into the clinic’s parking lot, Viv didn’t move right away. Beth turned off the engine, glanced sideways.

“You good?” she asked, voice gentle.

Viv nodded, slow. “Yeah. Just… thinking.”

Beth didn’t press. She just squeezed her knee once, then got out and walked around the car to meet her.

The waiting room was warm and way too bright for how early it was. The chairs were stiff, arranged in that awkward way that made it hard to sit close, but Beth pulled hers right up next to Viv’s anyway. She sat down, took Viv’s hand, laced their fingers together.

Viv’s hand was a little cold. Beth didn’t say anything about it—just held on tighter.

Neither of them really spoke. They didn’t need to. Beth knew Viv well enough by now to know silence was comfort, too. Her thumb kept moving, soft against Viv’s skin, while she watched the second hand ticking by on the big clock on the wall.

Eventually, a nurse came in, holding a clipboard and wearing the kind of calm smile people use when they know everyone in the room’s a little scared.

“Vivianne Miedema?”

Viv looked up, straightened a bit. “Yeah.”

The nurse offered a warm nod. “We’ll be ready for you in a couple of minutes. You can come with me to prep if you’re ready.”

Beth stood with her. Viv did too, a little slower.

Before Viv could follow the nurse, Beth pulled her into a hug—arms wrapped tight around her, grounding, warm.

“Hey,” Beth murmured against her shoulder. “You’re gonna be okay, love. Everything’s gonna go smooth, alright?”

Viv nodded, but didn’t say anything for a second. Her arms tightened around Beth’s waist.

“I know,” she said eventually, voice a little thick. “I just… wanna get it over with.”

Beth leaned back to look at her. “You’ll be back in a couple hours, probably high off your face on anesthesia, and I’ll be right here laughing at you.”

That made Viv smile—small, but real. “I’m counting on it.”

Beth leaned in and kissed her forehead. “I’ll be in the recovery room before you even open your eyes.”

Viv nodded again. “Can you… stay until they take me in?”

Beth brushed her knuckles over Viv’s cheek. “Of course. I’ll stay as long as they let me.”

The nurse gave them a patient smile, waiting just a few feet away. Viv finally let out a breath and stepped back, adjusting the sleeves of her hoodie, her fingers twitchy like she didn’t quite know what to do with them.

Beth gave her hand one last squeeze. “I love you.”

Viv’s eyes flicked up to meet hers. “I love you too.”

Beth stood just outside the recovery room, listening carefully as the nurse went over the instructions. She nodded along, arms crossed tightly over her chest, trying to absorb everything.

“She might be a bit out of it for a while,” the nurse was saying. “The anesthesia takes a bit to wear off. She’ll probably be groggy, maybe a little emotional or… chatty.”

Beth let out a quiet breath. “Got it. Keep her hydrated, soft foods, no stairs, pain meds on time?”

“Exactly. And don’t let her do too much today. She might think she can, but her body will need proper rest.”

“Right.” Beth tucked the paper with instructions into her bag. “Thanks.”

When they walked her back into the room, Beth spotted Viv sitting upright on the bed, slightly sideways, one sock-clad foot dangling off the edge like she couldn’t quite remember how chairs worked.

“Beth!” Viv said, lighting up like the sun. “You came back.”

Beth grinned and moved closer. “I never left, babe.”

Viv looked deeply relieved. “Okay, good. I had this dream you turned into a duck and flew away.”

Beth blinked, laughing under her breath. “A duck?”

“You were a really pretty duck, though,” Viv assured her, very seriously. “Shiny feathers and everything.”

Beth glanced at the nurse with a raised brow. “So… yeah. The loopy part’s happening.”

The nurse chuckled. “Tends to hit right about now.”

Viv reached out a hand toward Beth, grabbing vaguely at her sleeve. “Can we get pancakes?”

Beth crouched in front of her, smoothing Viv’s hair behind her ear. “We can get you pancakes later. First, let’s get you home.”

“Do you have the car? Or did you ride the duck?”

Beth shook her head, smiling as she helped Viv to her feet. “I drove the very normal car, thanks.”

Viv leaned against her immediately. “That’s good. Because I don’t think I can walk unless I’m touching your arm. It gives me power.”

“Oh, does it?” Beth wrapped an arm around her waist for support.

Viv nodded sagely. “You’re like my charger. Like an emotional iPhone.”

Beth burst out laughing as they slowly shuffled toward the exit. “Alright, emotional iPhone. Let’s get you buckled.”

Viv paused at the automatic doors, blinking up at the sky like she just remembered the outside world existed. “Wow. The sun is… huge today.”

Beth guided her carefully into the passenger seat, adjusting the seatbelt like the nurse had shown her.

Viv watched her the entire time. “You’re so pretty. Like, it’s not even fair to other people.”

Beth leaned in to buckle the last bit and kissed her forehead. “You’re so high.”

“I am,” Viv whispered. “But I’m also deeply in love with you.”

Beth laughed again, heart full and a little achy with affection. “I know, babe. I know.”

Once she was in the driver’s seat and pulling out of the lot, Viv mumbled, “Do you think ducks know they’re ducks?”

Beth was still helping Viv out of her shoes when Steph greeted them from the kitchen with a soft, “Hey, how’s she doing?”

Beth gave a small, amused smile as she glanced at Viv clinging to her side like a sleepy koala. “Very high. Very chatty.”

“I’m right here, you know,” Viv said, blinking up at Steph with a loopy grin. “Hey Steph,” she added sweetly before walking over and hugging her tightly—something so un-Viv-like, Steph immediately glanced at Beth with a surprised smile.

“I love you,” Viv mumbled into Steph’s shoulder. “You’re really pretty. And you’re so nice. And you’re always kind to Beth and Myle and you make really good tea.”

Steph chuckled, patting her back. “I love you too and thanks.”

Beth tried not to laugh as she gently nudged Viv toward the couch. “Alright, sweetheart, let’s lie down, yeah?” She helped her get settled with a pillow and blanket, smoothing a hand down her arm.

Steph stepped closer and said under her breath to Beth, “She’s adorable like this.”

Beth nodded, brushing a bit of Viv’s hair from her face. “Terrifying but adorable.”

Viv shifted on the couch, legs curled under the blanket Beth had tucked around her. She blinked slowly, like it took a second for her eyes to land on Steph again. “Steph?” she mumbled.

Steph looked over from where she was still leaning against the kitchen counter. “Yeah?”

“I have to tell you a secret,” Viv said, sitting up a little straighter. Her voice was quiet, but determined. “But you can’t tell Beth, okay?”

Beth, by the stove, turned her head toward them. She caught Steph’s eye, raising a brow and giving a small shrug, like go with it. Steph nodded, walking over and crouching next to the couch.

“Alright,” Steph said softly. “Secret’s safe. What is it?”

Viv didn’t speak right away. She looked down at her hands, fidgeting with the edge of the blanket.

“It’s just…” she started, voice soft. “I think about her a lot when I’m in Manchester.”

Steph blinked. “Beth?”

Viv nodded. “Yeah. I mean, obviously, right? But it’s like… even when we’re texting or calling, it’s not the same. It always feels like there’s this huge part of me missing. I’ll be lying in bed and it’s too quiet. Or I’ll make tea and think about how she always puts the spoon in upside down. And then I feel… weirdly lonely. Like I left something important behind.”

Steph glanced briefly toward the kitchen. Beth hadn’t said anything, but she was definitely listening.

Viv went on, a little more animated now, like the words had finally found their path. “And every time I’m home—like really home—with her, it just feels right. The way she moves around the flat, talks to Myle like she’s a person and not just a dog. The way she always knows when I need quiet and when I need to be held without me having to say anything.”

Steph gave her a small smile, soft around the edges.

“And seeing her like that,” Viv added, “with Myle… it makes me think about what kind of mum she’d be. Not just the kind that’s good with kids, but the kind that makes them feel safe and loved just by being in the room. I think about what that might be like, having that. Building a life with her.”

Steph’s brows lifted slightly, eyes kind. “Is that the secret?”

Viv shook her head, smiling like a kid about to say something too big for her mouth. “No. The secret is I want to propose to her.”

Beth inhaled sharply from across the room, and Steph turned quickly to glance at her, eyes widening just a little.

“You what?” Steph asked, her voice careful but surprised.

“I want to marry her,” Viv said again, quieter. “I’ve wanted to for a long time.”

Steph blinked. “Do you… do you have a ring?”

Viv nodded, her expression proud and a little dazed. “Yeah. It’s in my nightstand. In Manchester. Bottom drawer, under the socks.”

Steph gave her a look. “Of course under the socks.”

“I didn’t want her to accidentally see it,” Viv defended with a sleepy shrug.

Viv shifted slightly on the couch, adjusting the blanket Beth had tucked around her earlier. Her head tilted a little to the side as she spoke, eyes unfocused but full of warmth.

“It’s gold,” she murmured. “Kind of a matte finish—not too shiny. I wanted something simple. Something that felt like her.”

Steph leaned a bit closer, listening. “Yeah?”

Viv nodded slowly, the corner of her mouth pulling into the faintest smile. “On the inside, I had these little waves engraved. Just tiny ones. You can’t see them unless you look for it.”

Steph blinked. “Waves?”

“She loves the ocean,” Viv said, soft and steady. “Always says it calms her. That it reminds her to breathe. So I thought maybe… I don’t know. Maybe it could be something that does that for her, too. Something just for her.”

Steph glanced toward the kitchen, where Beth was still standing, her hands wrapped around the edge of the counter. She hadn’t said anything, but her head was bowed, her eyes fixed on the kettle like it held all the answers.

Steph looked back at Viv. “That’s… really thoughtful.”

Viv shrugged a little, still dreamy from the medication but honest in every word. “I just wanted it to feel like her. Like us.”

Steph smiled faintly. “When did you know? That you wanted to marry her?”

Viv went quiet. Her gaze dropped to her lap, fingers fidgeting with the edge of the blanket. It took a while before she spoke.

“Probably before we even got together.”

Steph blinked. “Seriously?”

Viv let out a quiet breath, nodding. “Yeah. I mean, I didn’t have a ring or anything. But I knew. She’d walk into a room, and everything would just stop. I’d forget how to breathe.”

Steph let out a soft, breathy laugh. “You’re so gone for her.”

Viv looked at her, eyes slightly glazed but full of sincerity. “Obviously.”

Beth inhaled sharply from across the room. Steph glanced over—Beth’s head had lifted now, her eyes shimmering as she watched Viv speak. Her chest rose and fell a little faster than before, and Steph could tell she wasn’t just listening—she was feeling every word.

Viv kept going. “That’s why I talked to her mum.”

Steph’s eyebrows lifted. “You did?”

Viv nodded. “Yeah. Not like… permission, obviously. That’s not what it was. But I wanted her blessing. I wanted her to know I was serious about Beth. That I loved her.”

“What did she say?” Steph asked, voice gentler now.

Viv nodded slowly, thumb brushing the edge of the blanket in her lap. “She said she blessed it.”

Steph smiled, soft and sure. “Of course she did.”

Viv’s eyes dropped to her lap. “She said she could see how much I loved her. That I didn’t need to say it, it was already all over my face.”

Beth, across the kitchen, let out the tiniest exhale, one hand paused on the edge of the counter.

Steph glanced between them and asked gently, “What else did she say?”

Viv’s voice was quieter now. “She asked me to take care of her daughter. Told me Beth was stubborn, and sometimes hard to read, but that her heart’s too big for her own good. That she’s always been the kind of person who looks after everyone else first.”

Beth’s hand slowly tightened on the counter.

“She said if I was gonna stick around,” Viv continued, “then I better do it properly.”

Steph blinked a few times, lips twitching up. “Sounds like her.”

“She didn’t say it all serious or anything,” Viv added quickly, like she didn’t want to make it heavier than it was. “It was… kind. Just kind. She looked at me and said, ‘If you love her, really love her, then don’t let her forget it.’”

Beth’s head had lifted now, eyes a little red but fixed on Viv, no longer trying to hide it.

Steph turned, catching Beth’s gaze for a second. Beth didn’t look away.

After a beat, Steph looked back at Viv, her voice gentler. “So why haven’t you done it? Proposed?”

Viv shifted, tugging the blanket a little higher on her lap. “I’m scared.”

“Of what?” Steph asked, not unkindly.

“Of pushing her,” Viv said simply. “Of her not being ready. Of saying yes because she doesn’t want to hurt me, not because she’s sure.”

Steph’s brow furrowed. “You really think she’d do that?”

Viv hesitated. “I think… she’d try to protect me before herself. That’s what scares me.”

Beth blinked quickly behind them, pressing the sleeve of her jumper under her eye and trying to steady her breath.

Steph watched her for a moment, then turned back to Viv with a little shake of her head. “You know,” she said, “I’m not supposed to be the one spilling secrets here. But I think you should know… she wants to marry you too.”

Viv’s head snapped up, eyes wide and a little stunned. “What?”

Steph smiled. “Yeah. It’s not my place to say how or when or what she’s waiting for. But I’ve seen the way she looks at you. That girl’s gone.”

Beth’s throat bobbed, and she looked down at the kettle, blinking hard.

Viv leaned back into the cushions, visibly dazed. “You really think so?”

“I know so,” Steph said.

Viv was sunk into the couch cushions like her bones had melted, eyes half-lidded and hazy from the meds. She reached out to pet Myle’s head but missed entirely, her hand waving somewhere above the dog’s back. “We should get her a little coat,” she mumbled. “Like… a detective coat. She’d solve crimes.”

Steph laughed under her breath, amused and fond. “Yeah, okay,” she said, shaking her head as she pushed up from the couch. “She’ll look great in tweed.”

She made her way into the kitchen, where Beth was standing at the counter, facing away, her hands still resting on the same mug of tea she’d poured almost ten minutes ago. She hadn’t moved.

You good?” she asked gently.

Beth blinked, like she’d only just remembered she wasn’t alone. She cleared her throat and nodded, her voice barely steady. “Yeah. Yeah, I just…” She let out a quiet breath. “I didn’t know she talked to my mum.”

Steph’s face softened. “I figured.”

Beth gave a small, watery laugh, brushing under her eye with her sleeve. “It’s just… she’s never mentioned it. Not once. And knowing now—it just hit me harder than I thought.”

Steph didn’t say anything. She just stepped forward and pulled her into a hug.

Beth sank into it without hesitation.

“She really loves you,” Steph said, holding her tight. “Like… it’s not even a question.”

“I know,” Beth whispered. “I really know.”

Just then, from the living room, Viv’s voice echoed faintly.

“We should get Myle a raincoat for spring. Maybe with ducks on it. No—umbrellas. That’s more poetic.”

Beth sniffled a laugh into Steph’s shoulder.

Steph pulled back, shaking her head. “She’s gonna be impossible for the next few hours.”

“She’s already halfway there,” Beth said, a small smile tugging at her lips as she wiped her face.

Beth grabbed the tea and made her way back into the living room. Viv lit up the second she saw her.

“There’s my beautiful girl,” she said, reaching a hand out toward her like Beth had been gone for years.

She handed Viv the mug and helped her steady it between her hands. “Here you go, babe. Be careful, it’s hot.”

Viv looked at the tea like it was the most precious thing she’d ever been given. “This is why I love you.”

Beth leaned in, brushing her lips gently against Viv’s. “I love you too,” she whispered, so soft only Viv could hear it.