Chapter 6
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Olivia did realize, little by little, that Casey had been wearing her down about all things holiday. Food. Music. Decorations. Outings. Most of it was mild and revolved around entertaining her son, so she was able to ignore most of it. And to Casey’s credit, Olivia thought, the santa photo that she had been dreading came much later than she thought it would.
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“You didn’t,” Olivia said, shaking her head from the doorway.
“I couldn’t resist.” Casey said, holding her hands out in front of her to plead for mercy. “You didn’t want him to sit on Santa’s lap, and I do understand why - but I knew you might someday regret not having this kind of first picture. So,” she made a flourished movement with her hand. “I found another way.”
Olivia shook her head and looked at her son, now decked head to toe in a mini-Santa outfit. “You are lucky he’s so cute.”
“Cute? He’s unbelievably adorable in this.” She smiled. “And now, Santa gets to sit on your lap,” she said, waving her phone.
“One picture,” Olivia said, holding up a finger.
“One of both of you in front of the tree,” Casey said. “I’ll let you delete it if you don’t like it.”
“Fine,” she said, begrudging smile on her lips.
They sent it through Olivia’s printer. She looked at it lovingly and thought about putting it on her desk. Though that would leave her open for Munch commentary.
“Why is everyone so concerned about this?” She said, not looking up from the photo. “He’s just a baby.”
“Who's everyone?”
“You, Munch, Rollins maybe. Everyone who has handed him a tiny candy cane when we're just trying to get the grocery shopping done…”
“Maybe it’s not really him that everyone is concerned about.”
“Growing up, the holidays and every other day of the year - It was just me and my mother,” she said. “We had our problems, yes, but I never believed we needed anyone else to provide for us. She was very clear that she was the one to buy my gifts. To provide everything I needed.”
“No one is saying that you can’t provide everything for him either. No one thinks you can’t do it all yourself. You are an amazing mother. But you don’t have to shoulder everything.”
Olivia looked away.
“I caught my dad with the Santa presents when I was 6 or 7,” Casey said. “And still, the joy in it - that doesn’t have to go away.”
“Does that mean that you told Santa what you want for Christmas?” Olivia deflected.
Casey smirked at her. “I'm not the one in the picture,” she deflected. “What about you? What do you want for Christmas?”
“All I want for is for Santa here to always be happy and secure with the family that he has.”
“He will be,” Casey said. “How could he not, Liv?”
Olivia smiled shaking the notion away. “So, if Santa sits in your lap will you tell me your Christmas wish?”
“Oh, I don’t want anything, except maybe a copy of this.”
“Surely there’s something?” Olivia said as she placed Noah on Casey’s lap and tried to get him to smile for her. “Is there really nothing you want?
She gave a wan smile. “It’s just that I’m finally good again. There’s no need to push my luck.”
“So you get me to take a santa picture and now you are a true believer once again? Or is this still part of ‘fake it til you make it’?”
“I’m getting there,” Casey said. “It’s hard not to be in front of such a perfect little santa. If anyone can remind people that they can suspend their doubts about humanity, it’s this little guy,” she said and played tug of war with the Santa hat with Noah until he giggled.
She stared at Casey for a moment, trying to make sense of the woman, wondered about her not wanting to push her luck. But it was the end of the day, and her own thoughts were too scattered to make sense of. She snapped the photo of Noah and Casey together, printed it and tucked it away with the ornaments.