Chapter 2
Chapter 2:
“It should be around here.” She mumbles under her scarf as she surveys the area on her bicycle. Following the rules, she parks her bike to the side of the specified path before taking out her phone from her backpack. She looks again at the address Nozomi sent her, then at the glowing streetlights ahead, before getting back on her bike.
Umi’s eyes widens as she catches sight of the small humble cafe with the huge line of people that continues outside. She wonders if its like this every day. She gets off and pushes her bicycle to the side of the cafe, before looking up at the wooden sign accompanied with little drawings of the nine of them. A blackboard sign sits just outside the store advertising their new ‘Kotohono’ couples deal.
Umi smiles and shoves her hand in her jacket pocket before heading towards the front door. Which wasn't a good idea because several awaiting customers reprimanded her for cutting in line before they recognised her thus fueling echoing screams and squeals.
“Umi!!!” they cried in unison, some bursting into tears. They all crowd around her no longer caring about the line they came out from and she is afraid they are disrupting the walk path for others. There are camera flashes everywhere and she swears she feels someone touch her butt. Rude and Inappropriate.
“It's been so long!!!”
“Umi-senpai!!!”
“Can I have your autograph!!!”
“Sign my baby!! Please”
“Please take a selfie with me!!!”
Umi grows red at the attention, wondering if she'll ever get used to having fans. She isn't even that amazing, she's failing in life, she lost the most important archery tournament, she doesn’t have a plan, she doesn’t even know what she wants in life anymore. And muse doesn't even exist in media anymore. It just...feels bizarre because she doesn't deserve it. But she complies as much as she can.
She doesn't sign the baby though, resulting in the young mother shedding tears. The baby follows with bursts of uncontrollable tears and screams. Umi panics for a little while before taking off her scarf and wrapping it around the baby. The baby stops crying and instead gives Umi the brightest smile along with a small giggle as she wiggles her feet. Her heart swells and she looks at the mother for approval before leaning in to give the baby a little peck on the forehead. She reaches for the marker the mother was holding and signs the end of the white scarf.
Everyone watches in awe.
“Be the father of my child.” The mother mumbles, half dazed.
Umi reddens but before she could say anything a hand tugs her and she is pulled out of the crowd. She instantly feels the breeze.
“Sorry. Next time maybe.” The red haired shouts to the crowd as she takes Umi’s hand.
“Maki” The crowd exclaims in unison, followed by squeals.
“You're already late which is weird considering you're Umi but I find you hitting on some mother?” Maki says as she holds Umi’s wrist and runs through an alleyway to what Umi assumes is the back entrance.
“I was not hitting on her!”
“So the baby?” She looks back at her friend and smirks.
“How could you even suggest that. That is unacceptable on so many levels.”
“Geez, can't you take a joke.”
Again Umi’s cheeks flare up.
Maki chuckles. “Mann, I missed you.” She says as she opens up what seems like a secret door to a dungeon. “They're all waiting for you.”
------
After a solid 45 minutes of yelling and hugs and souvenir giving, Umi settles in her seat around a round table, already filled with all their favourite dishes. Including Honoka’s manjuus.
After the laughter and blushing died down, stories were told and Umi wonders what she would be like if she never left to go on that archery tour. Because she's missed so many memories. And because of that, she feels so excluded, no one was with her to share her memories and she doesn't understand half of what everyone is referring to in most of the conversations.
Umi looks around the small warm room and sees strings and strings of photos in chronological year order, the recent ones are mostly polaroid, filling up the walls. She follows it and finds herself missing for 5 of those years, 5 precious years in which they all made special memories and she didn't even have the decency to meet up with any one of her friends. She never even made it in one polaroid photo.
But her eyes widens as she sees newspaper clippings and articles of her little achievements scattered around the photos along with the other member’s clippings and accomplishments. Warmth creeps inside her and she feels like such a jerk.
“So what do you think?”
“I think it is incredible. This entire cafe. What you’ve created, Nozomi, is basically a warm embodiment of muse.”
Nozomi grins. “You and your words. Poetic like always.”
Umi smiles back. For the first time in 5 years, muse was back and together, sitting in Nozomi’s cafe. The room in which they are in now was not spacious but from the various items thrown around the room by various members, Umi knew it served to be their second clubroom, reserved only for Muse.
“Who's serving the customers outside?” Umi asks.
“Oh, our two chefs and also Yukiho. She's a really earnest girl.” Nozomi replies in which Honoka chuckles with pride.
“My sister is top notch!” She thumps her chest and grins.
“Unlike someone.” Umi jokes causing to Honoka to pout. “Well I have a top notch sister and a top notch wife~~” She stupidly grins as she turns to give Kotori a peck on the cheek.
“That you do.” Umi smiles, hating the piercing feeling she feels. She looks away and sees a polaroid picture that catches her attention. “W-where is that?”
The picture displays Kotori and Honoka both kissing a life sized cardboard cutout of Umi.
“Just outside. You should go have a look outside after, it's much more. We all decorated it with all sorts of stuff for the fans, our framed signatures, our favourite food menus, our merchandises, our bikinis shots, our specialised drinks, our-
“Wait...Rin...our what did you say?”
“Our specialised drinks?”
“No not the beverages. Before that.”
“Our Bikini shots?”
Umi slaps her palm on her forehead. “Of course” She goes red again. Honestly, she should’ve expected that from Nozomi. Nozomi smiles innocently and Eli laughs. And even though she didn’t get to see her two seniors for the last five years, the love radiating from the two was so evident that Umi couldn't help but smile widely. They really are soul mates. Getting married only a year after leaving high school might’ve gotten their parents’ mini heart attacks but to muse it just made sense.
She looks around the table, Rin and Hanayo’s chairs are closer than they need to be and she catches a glance of Rin as she wipes a stray rice from Hanayo’s lips before placing it in her own mouth. Innocent as it may of have been, Umi felt like she is interrupting.
Umi turns to look at the bickering couple next to them. Their dynamic hasn't changed. Still the magnetic couple, yet there is something that wasn’t there when she last saw them 5 years ago. That twinkle of trust in each other's eyes, something must've happened to have them look at each other so unconditionally. Even though their mouth was spouting insults to each other, their body language says otherwise. It always has. Maki and Nico, always everyone’s favourite pair.
Then, Umi turns to watch the engaged couple beside her again. They seem happy. Kotori squeals in surprise as Honoka takes Kotori’s spoon in her mouth, effectively eating the last bite of her cheesecake. She playfully pushes Honoka who grins and gives her fiancee a kiss on the cheek earning a pink blush.
Umi’s happy for them but she has to look away. She settles her gaze on the seat separating Honoka and her, wondering why that is there.
“We thought you might bring someone so we left a space.” Honoka claims as she fills in the seat and engulfs Umi in a hug. Umi returns it and smiles.
“Sorry, I haven’t seen you in so long, I just can’t help but hug you whenever I look at you.” Honoka says with a awkward laugh in the middle of her sentence.
Umi smiles. “I missed you too.”
Honoka grins.
“Someone?” Umi questions as they break away.
“A lover” She clarifies.
“Right.” Umi says, then ponders for a bit. She is the only one still single, not that is an issue. She likes it like that. “Thanks, but I don't have anyone like that.”
Honoka pulls away and pouts. “Awww, why not!?” Her hand stays on Umi’s shoulders and the archer tries so hard not to look at Kotori.
“Romance isn't for me?” She says.
“I've been wondering for a while now, do you even have any interest in girls?” Nico interjects with no hesitancy at all.
“What the hell, Nico-chan!?” Maki exclaims as she nudges her girlfriend’s arm.
Nico turns to look at her girlfriend. “What? We're basically family, I want to know. ”
“Cute but it's honestly none of your business.” Maki replies, a tad annoyed at Nico’s nosiness.
“A lot of things aren't your business but you ask it anyways.” Nico deadpans.
“I'm a medical student! I had to ask her those questions!” Maki is about to strangle her girlfriend whom she loves dearly.
“Abusing your pow-”
“No.”
The room falls silent and Nico turns her attention back to the archer which is an action followed by the rest of muse.
“What?” Nico questions, unsure if she heard correctly.
“Um...no.” Umi repeats, somehow courageous to speak the truth. And honestly, throughout these 5 years she's been asking herself the same question. What even was she romantically or sexually attracted to?
All 8 members gasps in shock.
“Boys?” Nico continues.
“No.” Umi states matter-of-factly.
“Both? Everything?”
“No”
Nico growls under her breath. “Then why the hell can you not last in a romantic movie? I have never seen someone go as red as you.” She slams the table. “That reminds me. 6 years ago, the last time we all went to see a romcom together, we all had to leave the movies because you fainted when they held hands.” She stands up. “They were only holding hands!”
Maki swirls her hair with an indifferent expression, a habit she still carries. Well it's one of her charm points. “Nico-chan can hold grudges. Don't mind her.”
“You don't understand! She took it from me!” Nico exclaims as she turns to Maki.
“You're so loud.”
“Just because it meant nothing to you.” Nico crosses her arms and plods back on her seat, pouting.
Maki sighs. “Umi not being able to see a romance movie doesn't mean much to me. No offense.”
“It's not that!” Nico yells, her patience wearing thin.
“What is with your attitude? You and your stupid grud-”
“ IT WAS MY FIRST movie experience sitting next to… you” Her voice performs a decrescendo until it's a mere whisper as she takes a quick glance at her girlfriend before desperately looking away, a full blush painted on her face. “It’s not stupid.” she finally says.
“Nico-chan….” A red blush appears on Maki’s cheeks and she goes to whisper words of affection in Nico’s ear.
The gang watches for a few seconds, familiar with their antics and then back to Umi. The girl who disappeared for 5 years and back with mystery written over her forehead.
“But I actually do want to know, how come you can't watch a romantic movie without fainting when you aren't attracted to anyone?” Rin questions.
Umi’s eyes averts and in a small voice. “B-Because it's indecent.” Her face red again.
Hanayo’s covers her eyes. “Too pure” Rin laughs as she uncovers her girlfriend's eyes. “You’re one to talk.”
“So what? you're attracted to bow and arrows?” Nico returns and smirks at her hilarious comment and Maki has to pinch Nico to shut her up.
“Then do you want to have sex?” Nozomi asks, with her oh so innocent voice.
Umi shuffles uncomfortably, her head faint and circling. Eli eyes Nozomi to which she gives a small wink. “I know Eli does, all the ti-” A hand cups Nozomi’s mouth and Eli awkwardly laughs as her face grows extremely red.
Umi goes red. This is not what she thought her reunion conversations would be like. But at the same time, she did think about all of this before and she did figure something out, perhaps they won't judge her for it. Maybe. She can take the risk.
“It doesn't appeal to me…but” She trails off as her eyes meets Kotori’s who's staring straight back at her.
Kotori hasn't spoken a word since the start of this bizarre topic and it kind of concerns Umi. Did this bother her?
“But?” Honoka prods.
Umi clenches her hand into a fist and takes another deep breath. Another layer of blush forming on her already heated cheeks. She looks away from Kotori and focuses on the cup of water in front of her. Her throat feels dry.
“But… I think...if it was someone special, I don't mind anything. I'll give them my entire being. I think it'll be nice.” Her cheeks are hot to the touch. “Of course, I mean after we're m-married.” She covers her eyes with the palm of her hands , suddenly feeling really really, dizzy.
“Oh my, how romantic” Nozomi says.
“You are so innocent” Honoka claims.
She takes a deep breath. “I’m not pure, not innocent, I’m just well…” Her hands does not stop shaking and her heart beats wildly against her ribcage. “asexual.” She sighs and brushes her fringe back, not daring to look up. She just came out. “I’ve been finding myself these past 5 years and although I still have a lot more to discover, this is what I found out.”
She can hear Honoka shift towards her as she plants a hand on her shoulder. “Thanks for trusting us enough to tell us.” And at that moment she feels warmth and yet at the same time extremely guilty because despite everything, the only person she’s felt anything for is her best friend's fiancee.
Now when it's put like that, she sounds like a horrible, horrible person. But it's okay, she’ll never act on it and eventually it'll go away and if it doesn't that's okay, as long as no one else is hurt. Her friendship with both of them is too important to risk, and the heartbreak of ever losing or hurting one of them will haunt her for the rest of her life.
The room fills with nothing but blushes and squeals. “Then do you have someone you romantically like? Or have you ever?” Hanayo asks innocently with no ulterior motive at all but simple curiosity yet Umi feels like she's been pushed towards a cliff.
Should she lie? Should she be honest? Her eyes subconsciously shifts to look at the one person that can make her heart race and sees her hand intertwined with her best friend’s. Honoka's thumb gently stroking the back of her hand.
“No. I don't.” She lies.
“That took too long to be a ‘no’” Nico blatantly says. She then smirks. “I know how perceptive you are, Umi, hence the disturbing-foreseeing and so irritatingly fitting lyrics you write. Honestly Maki and I hated our duet song, you wrote but...it's kind of perfect.” She stands up from her seat and points to Umi, her voice louder than before. “But I am an idol and I am just as perceptive at times. Now what are you hiding?”
Umi jolts back. A sense of dread washing over her. Her eyes remains on Nico’s determined face and she sighs.
“I-I did like someone but I don't now.” She says, hoping this half truth can convince them and herself.
She can see the surprised faces of most of the members and she just wants to cover herself in blankets and never come out.
Nico grins, all too proud of herself. “And that was detective Nico. I'm starring in a detective drama next month. You all better watch it.” She randomly promotes and Maki rolls her eyes. The others nod.
And thinking that the interrogation is over, Umi takes a bite of her dessert until Honoka reaches over again and smiles widely.”Who was it?”
She gulps down the piece of cake without masticating, a heavy feeling settles in her stomach.
Your fiancee.
Oh my goodness, she is a disgusting, shameless person.
“I-I-I can't tell.” She takes a large gulp of water.
Everyone is watching her and she feels self conscious, so much guilt lingers within her, it hurts physically. She feels bile rising. She just hopes no one can read minds.
Honoka pouts. “You're no fun! Ask her Kotori!” She turns to look at her fiancee. “Kotori are you okay?”
Kotori nods, her face paler than before and Umi knows it is because of this conversation. Because Kotori knows. Umi wants to die.
Honoka, with her hand stroking circles on Kotori’s back smiles at Umi. “Ask her Kotori, it always works when you ask Umi.”
Kotori complies to Umi’s dismay.
“Hmm...Who did you like?” Sunset eyes swallows Umi and she hates it. Why is she asking her this when she knows. Kotori knows the truth so why is she asking her this. Doesn't she know how much it hurts already? Just…
“Let me go.” Umi says quietly, suddenly feeling too tired. She smiles though, trying to look as normal as she can. She mentally inhales, hoping to compose herself, again. “Honoka! There is such thing as a right to privacy.”
Honoka pouts but doesn't give up. “Don't be so serious, Umi. Tell meee.”
Before she can speak, she feels a pat on her back.
“Goodness, let the poor girl have a rest.” Eli speaks up, understanding pouring from her words.
“Wanna see something even much more exciting?” Nozomi joins.
Honoka furiously nods and Nozomi takes out a photo of Umi kissing a baby in which she recognises as the baby from hours ago. It seems to be take from a high up angle.
“Woooahhhh”. Honoka squeals. “Dashing Umi!”
Kotori peers from her girlfriend’s shoulders and gently takes the photo. Her thumb slides over it stopping when she reaches the frame of her friend. Her eyes are so concentrated that Umi isn’t sure what to make of it.
“So do you prefer a boy or a girl?” Honoka asks.
And then Umi understands that Kotori’s intent gaze on the picture was due the her future with Honoka. She feels something stir within her, something she was and is not proud of.
“H-How did you even take that?” Umi turns back to look at Nozomi. She needs to distract herself.
“I have my ways.” Nozomi snickers as she grabs both her polaroid camera and professional camera from the couch.
“Let's take some commemorative photos!”
They do. Several even.
And Umi got to pin her first polaroid photos on their wall. She looks at the happy faces of everyone and she traces a heart over Honoka and Kotori with her fingers.
She smiles softly and she feels a wave of contentment.
It really is time to let go.