'You've made your bed,..
It was Saturday morning and I was feeling sicker than usual. The pills Laf prescribed to me weren't helping in the slightest and I hadn't moved an inch in my bed since I had woken up.
My body was cold and the weather didn't help. It was 20 degrees colder outside than it usually was and the snow was calmly drizzling down outside leaving me no choice but to stay inside. Although my body would probably not agree with me, I still planned on sitting on my bench tonight. Me and that thing were practically inseparable.
I laid in bed trying to control the awful churning in my stomach. My body shaking due to the temperature and the sudden feeling of weakness inside of me. I didn't miss this feeling at all. I somehow always managed to hide these side effects while in high school but since it had been awhile since I last did a session, getting back onto them as an adult was much harder.
I turn to my phone and look at the time. 2 P.M. I couldn't go out this afternoon. I slid to the side of my bed and dangled my feet off of it while sitting up. I try to stand but my body begins to ache so I sit back down.
"Come on Laura." Placing my hands on my knees I sit there for a bit. I grab my phone and start typing a message.
Laura (2:10): Hey Carmilla, it's Laura.
Carmilla (2:15): So, the cupcake lives?
I smirk and roll my eyes.
Carmilla (2:15): Kidding. Texting me to arrange times I'm assuming?
Laura (2:17): Haha. Well actually about that..
Carmilla (2:20): Oh no. You're not bailing on me again.
Laura (2:21): I actually have a legitimate reason
Carmilla (2:22): Lets hear it then.
Laura (2:25): I'm feeling incredibly sick this evening.
Carmilla (2:25): Nice try, cutie. Give me your address.
I frown at her not believing me.
Laura (2:26): I'm being honest!
Carmilla (2:29): Then you wouldn't mind if I stop by, would you.
I sigh. I really wasn't in the mood for this.
Laura (2:30): I don't want to get you sick Carmilla.
I knew it was kind of impossible to get her sick since these were just side effects but I really wasn't feeling up for this. Not to mention my place was a total mess.
Carmilla (2:31): Address now, excuses later.
She wasn't giving up. I sigh and give her my address.
Laura (2:35): Come at you're own risk. You've been warned.
Carmilla (2:37): Whatever you say cupcake. I'll be there in 30. ;)
I guess this was really happening. I throw my phone across my bed and lay back for a bit allowing my stomach to try and settle.
She's coming and I'm a mess. I should really get up now.
I sit up and find the strength to stand. When I feel a little easier on my feet I begin cleaning up my apartment. Putting my medications and any forms and documents about my treatment into a box and sliding it under my bed. She'll have no reason to look under there so they were well hidden. I close the door to my room not even bothering to fix my bed and start cleaning off my kitchen table.
My stomach still felt queasy. My knees were a little shaky but I managed to stand better than before. I place my journal and pencils on the kitchen table and before I could actually take time to sit down there was a knock on the door.
Looking up at my kitchen clock I notice she's right on time.
I shuffle to the door. Before I open it I take one more deep breath to try and calm my stomach down. I twist the knob and open the door. Carmilla was leaning against the door frame with a takeout bag in her hand, her backpack on her shoulder and a small smile on her face.
"Hey cutie." She says looking me up and down. I felt shy under her gaze.
"H-hey Carmilla."
"Exactly how sick are you?" She raises an eyebrow at me.
I frown and give her an upset look. Did she honestly still not believe me?
"Why do you ask?"
"Well." She walks forward causing me to step back a bit until we're both through the door.
"You're still dressed in your night clothes, which I'm not totally against by the way." She smiles and my cheeks start to burn. "Which must mean you've been in bed all day."
I look at my appearance. My hair was a bit of a mess and I really was still wearing my plaid pajama bottoms and long sleeve Dr. Who night shirt.
"Right. I should change shouldn't I?"
"No no. It's your house. Stay comfy and warm." She says walking past me.
"Besides. You're kind of cute." A smile forms on her face as she places the take out bag and her backpack on the table. I feel my face heat up.
"I mean, you know, for someone who's sick or whatever."
I roll my eyes to avoid showing any sign of a smile or amusement in her compliment. At least I think it was a compliment?
"Um, thanks." I say closing the door and walking to sit in the kitchen.
"So I was thinking maybe we could split the work u-"
"Ah. Before you go all 'workaholic' on me." She pulls out a container and spoon and places it in front of me leaving me to look at it with curiosity.
"I ordered you some soup."
I begin smiling at the gesture and she tries to cover up her sense of caring with another excuse.
"Since the coffee shop was on my way here and I figured, if you really were sick you'd probably need it." My stomach flips in a nasty way making a very audible noise causing her to look at me. "Which it seems you haven't eaten much today according to your stomach."
I frown. My stomach would never allow me to hold in anything I ate these days. My weight would soon start to show this but for now I was still around my usual weight. Maybe 2 pounds lighter.
"That was kind of you. Thank you." I say looking at the soup.
She shrugs.
"It was nothing." She pulls out a journal and pen and starts writing something down trying to ignore the smile on my face.
I open the soup and look at it with hopefulness. Maybe if I ate it slow it won't come back up? What if I eat too much and it all comes back? What if I eat too little and waste the money she's spent on it?
"It doesn't bite you know." Carmilla says looking over her journal at me. I nod and look at her.
"Is it too hot? I could put it in the fridg-"
"Did you really not believe I was sick?" I frown at her trying to change the subject. She sighs and places her journal down on the table.
"It's not that I didn't-" I give her a saddened look and she looks like she's at war with her thoughts and my gaze. With a sigh she speaks again
"I just thought maybe you were trying the avoid me again for some reason."
Should have figured..
"I'm sorry Carmilla. With my um.. dad being in the hospital and all, most of my time is spent there."
She nods and shrugs her shoulders reaching for her pen. I don't understand what comes over me next, but I place my hand over hers before she can move it. Her eyes slowly look up from our hands and meets my gaze.
"I promise I'm not trying to avoid you." After saying these words I try to decipher her facial expression but it was still. Her lips her stuck without showing the hint of a smile. Her eyes never left mine. Her hand was warm under mine. It felt like an intense stare off. I wonder what she's thinking.. As we stared there in silence for a bit I finally see her face give off a hint of her thoughts but it wasn't what I expected. It was a worried expression.
"Laura are you okay?"
I didn't realize how focused I was on trying to figure her out until she said my name. I feel a warm liquid starting to run down my nose to the top of my lip.
"Laura your nose is bleeding," Carmilla's voice sounds pained as she bites her bottom lip hard as if she was trying to conceal something inside of her.
Oh no...
I quickly remove my hand from Carmilla's and cover my nose. She stays frozen for a bit concentrating on the blood. I see her shake her head and walk to the counter grabbing tissues and running back to me.
"Here let me-"
"I've got it thank you." I say grabbing the tissues from her and placing them on my nose.
"Are you okay?" She says staring me in the eyes and avoiding looking at my nose.
"Yeah. Yeah I'm fine. This happens often when I.." I pause to think of an excuse. "When I possibly have a fever."
Carmilla's eyebrow raises. Does she believe me?
"What, you've never seen a little blood before?" I laugh nervously, my comment causes her to give me a small but gentle smile.
"You have no idea." She says leaving me confused but I'm too focused on my nose to really question her response.
I walk to my restroom and clean myself up while Carmilla waits at the table.
What was that even about? I was touching her hand? The stare?
I tried to blur the whole moment out of my head and finish cleaning myself up. When I fix my hair a bit better I walk to the kitchen to find Carmilla gone.
Where did she..
I hear my TV go off in the living room causing me to jump. I walk to the living room to see her slumped against my couch.
"Decided to make yourself at home I see?" I say leaning against the door frame. She isn't startled at all by voice.
Carmilla laughs and raises a thumbs up.
"Come sit down cupcake. We can just watch a movie for the remainder of the day. You shouldn't have to work while you're sick. We'll figure this out some other time."
I walk around my couch and sit on the other side of it, leaving a few inches between me and Carmilla.
"I'm alright honestly-"
"You don't have to act tough around me cutie. You're sick. You should relax."
I give her a small smile and look at the screen.
"I suppose a few hours of TV won't hurt."
She smiles handing me my soup as we sit in a comfortable silence for the rest of the day. Her presence brought warmth to my usually cold and empty apartment so I didn't mind it at all. She'd get up to grab me a few things like a blanket and more warm liquids, which I was surprisingly able to hold down for the rest of her visit. She seemed like such a broody uncaring person towards others but not towards me for some reason.. Today I saw a different side of her. Sure she did give me a jacket and gloves, but today it was different. Today she was different.
Before we knew it it was 7:30 and Carmilla had prior engagements she had to attend to, or at least that's what she said. I walk her to my door and open it for her.
She stood outside the door for a bit in silence. It could have just been my dizzy tired vision messing with me but she looked almost.. nervous? She played with the single glove in her hand then finally broke the silence.
"So. Do I get to know why I was given this?" She raises the glove to me with a curious smile on her face. I nod.
"Right. Well, this may sound cliché but hear me out, and don't you dare laugh."
Her smile becomes playful and amused as she nods.
"I figured.. I mean.. well it was my way of making a promise." I stumble on my words and she tries not to laugh.
"A promise?"
I nod.
"To compromise. A writer doesn't always need two hands to write." I grab the glove I kept. "But I always have needed both. Especially since I write with my right hand. And without my right hand.." I point to her glove. "My left wouldn't exactly be able to get much done correctly now would it?" I raise my left glove and put it on.
She smiles that radiant heart warming smile and I almost feel my knees give out.
"And here I was thinking I was the philosophy And psychology major." She says putting her right glove on. She places her hand out to me for me to shake and I do with the left gloved hand.
"You have not ceased to surprise me Laura Hollis." Our hands hang on for a few seconds before letting go.
I'm just full of surprises..
"I'll see you soon Carmilla."
"You can count on it, cupcake" she smiles and shoves her hands into the front pockets of her black jeans while walking off. I wait until she's in the elevator to close my door. When it's shut I turn around and lean my back against it slowly sliding to the ground with a smile on my face. My palm still felt warm from her touch and her scent still filled my cold appartments air.
What am I getting myself into.