Chapter 1: KAAAPOOOOOM Goes My Heart
Everyone has their own holiday traditions. Every year on Christmas 1 (also known as December 1st), Clarke, Raven, and other various members of their little group would go to the Blake household to start putting up Christmas decorations. Raven loves being able to set up complicated light shows and the occasional pyrotechnics to ‘wow’ the whole neighborhood a whole month long. Octavia always loved the lights that were like the reflection of her own soul. And Clarke, well Clarke just loved being with all her friends and family soaking in the Christmas atmosphere. This year, she was really hoping to be with one special “friend” in particular: Lexa Woods. So when Raven asked Octavia if she could bring over her friend, Anya, and her younger sister, Lexa, to help decorate the Blake house, Clarke had no complaints. Except now Anya and Lexa were almost an hour late and as Clarke looked out the window, she was beginning to think she wouldn’t be spending any time with the brunette at all today.
“Hey Clarke! Stop staring out the window like Rachel Duncan and come help me and O get this huge tree on the stand!”
“Be right there, Bell.”
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Lexa was freaking out. Anya just had to forget to refill her car with gas the day she was supposed to see Clarke. She insisted they had PLENTY of gas to get to Octavia’s and back and probably to Canada too.
They couldn’t even make it halfway before Lexa’s car gave out.
Lexa hated being late for anything, but even more so she hated the thought of inconveniencing Clarke. Aaaand that’s why Lexa was walking her ass back from the nearest gas station instead of calling Clarke to ask her to come pick up her and Anya.
As much as she would have loved to have spend some time with Clarke, Anya would have just been teasing her about looking at Clarke with “heart eyes”.... she did NOT have heart eyes for Clarke Griffin. Ok yeah maybe she thought Clarke was really sweet, and an amazing friend to her, and artistically talented beyond belief, and she has a weird way of making Lexa feel nervous and exhilarated at the same time like being at the top of a rollercoaster right before the plunge, and god did she have the beautiful blue eyes that always reminded her of the sky, and.. damn it snap out of it Lexa! Ok...maybe she had a tiny crush on Clarke...but have you seen the girl? She was sure even Love is in love with this girl. So in comparison, her crush on Clarke is basically nonexistent. Right? Right.
Thankfully, it hasn’t started snowing in their town yet, but damn was it cold out here. At least Lexa thought ahead and wore layers. She wore jeans, a red beanie, a warm scarf, and her favorite part of her whole outfit: an ugly Christmas sweater that Clarke gave her last Christmas with “ho ho homo” on it. Anya said she was such a gay nerd for getting that sweater, but she knew Anya secretly loved it and was planning on stealing it deep down.
Lexa passed the time on the walk back just thinking about what she could have been doing with Clarke at the decorating party. She could just imagine it. Anya would be playing some sick Christmas beats, Monty and Jasper would probably be making a great new batch of eggnog with way too much alcohol, Octavia would be chasing Raven under the mistletoe...
Mistletoe.
Lexa made a mental note to see if she could somehow get Clarke under the mistletoe. Lexa’s heart raced with the just thought of being able to kiss Clarke under the mistletoe. Ok maybe her tiny crush on Clarke was a little stronger than she anticipated. At least Clarke could make her feel like her heart was defrosting even in this weather.
When Lexa finally made it back to the car with the fuel tank in hand, Anya well Anya was just sitting there in the car on her laptop.
“What the fuck, Anya? Did you even try to get in touch with Raven to tell them we would be late?”
“Relax, Commander. I tried to send her a message, but the cell reception here sucks ass. But on the bright side, I think I just perfected my setlist for the station AND the Blake house. It’s gonna kick ass, as usual.”
Lexa just rolled her eyes and refilled the car. She was late and standing around nagging Anya would only delay them further.
Anya put her arm around Lexa’s shoulders, “Cheer up, Commander. You’ll get to see your precious little Skai Prisa soon enough.”
“Shof op, Anya. She isn’t mine.”
“Yet!”
“Let’s just go now.” Lexa shrugged off Anya’s arm and quickly walked over to the driver’s seat partially because she was excited to finally get to Clarke and partially in hopes that Anya couldn’t see the blush that was creeping up her face again.
Only 35 more minutes of driving.
Welp.
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“Wow, Monty made some great eggnog this year.”
“I think you meant Monty makes some great eggnog EVERY year, Bellamy.”
“Aw thanks, Mill.” Monty gave Miller a peck on the cheek as he looked away blushing.
Those two had been together for years and they still acted like some shy middle schoolers. It was cute. Clarke couldn’t help but smile at the two shy nerds and took another sip of her… 4th? 5th cup of eggnog? She lost count of how many cups already had.
Clarke stopped decorating the stockings and looked out the window, ‘Where is Lexa?’.
She glanced down at her dad’s old watch, ‘It’s almost been 2 hours since we were supposed to all meet up. Maybe I should call h-’
“Sorry we’re late, everyone. We ran out of gas on the way here so I had to walk to the gas station to get some. We brought some gas station consolation Christmas cookies though.” l
“Well if someone could have hurried their ass up to the gas station, we wouldn’t have been so late.” l
“Well maybe if someone had remembered to refill the tank like I asked days ago after she used my car to drive up state, we wouldn’t have been late. “ l
“Wow that someone sure sounds like an asshole. Ha!” Anya said feigning innocence. Lexa rolled her eyes. l
Clarke whipped her head around at the sound.
“Lexa!”
A bright smile grew on Clarke’s face as she ran over to give Lexa a hug...except Jasper seemed to beat her to it. Lexa sidestepped out the way to avoid Jasper’s hug and went right over to Clarke. Not that Lexa particularly liked hugs, but for Clarke, yeah she could do hugs. Clarke was so warm compared to the freezing weather outside. She could get used to this.
“Oh my god Lex! You’re ice cold.”
“Oh don’t worry. That’s just my heart.”
Clarke chuckled, “You’re such a dork. Come here. I’ll make some hot chocolate for you and Anya.”
“Yeah ok, Commander, pretend the rest of us don’t exist anymore.”
“Shof op, Anya. Weren’t you supposed to be helping Raven set up her lights to your music?”
“I don’t think Octavia would like that very much.”
Lexa rolled her eyes. “Geez Anya you know what I meant.”
“But you’re right. I gotta go set up. Where is Raven?”
“I think she’s with O on the roof, hopefully setting up decorations,but you never know with those two.”
“Time to go set the mood with a little Marvin Gaye. Emphasis on the gay.”
Lexa facepalmed at the comment and Clarke just laughed as Anya proceeded to wiggle her eyebrows suggestively. You would think after all these years of being Anya’s sister she would get used to her innuendos but nope.
“I’m 500% done with you…. so Clarke that hot chocolate?”
“Ah right! Let’s go warm you right up.” Clarke said as she took Lexa’s hand leading her over to the kitchen.
“Well judging by the blush on Little Lexie’s face, sounds like you’ve already warmed her right up.”
Lexa’s eyes probably would’ve rolled for the millionth time that day if they weren’t already so focused on Clarke’s ass.
Anya just huffed, “Only I find myself funny.”
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It was almost sunset and the group outside managed to get most of the decorations up. Bellamy and Raven were just finishing up the lights outside while Monty,Miller, and Anya were still working on hooking up the right light sequences to her setlists.
Inside the house, the group was lagging a bit more than Octavia had like. Lexa and Clarke were decorating the tree while Octavia was trying (keyword TRYING) to set up the train that would circle around the tree and play classic Christmas music. It was one of her favorite decorations until Jasper-saurus Rex over there fell on it trying to get the girls to kiss him with his make shift mistletoe on a string. He really shouldn’t have tried kissing Clarke so close to Lexa. Poor guy really didn’t stand a chance. As soon as Lexa heard Jasper coming with that thing behind his back towards Clarke, she knew this fucker was about to try something so she decided to conveniently adjust the Christmas lights on the tree and swiftly pulled the string right as Jasper was crossing. It was a shame that the train had to sacrifice itself to protect Clarke, but victory stands on the back of sacrifice. Octavia didn’t seem to appreciate the sacrifice as much as Lexa did though.
“Hey guys we’re pretty much done setting up the lights outside. Now we just wait on Anya and Monty and Miller to work their magic.”
“Rae! Come over here!”
“Oooh do I get a reward for finishing a job as awesome as me?”
“Sure, but first can you please try to fix the train? Jasper drank way too much of Monty’s eggnog and tripped on top of my train.” Octavia said starting to get a little teary eyed.
“Hey O, it’s ok. I got this. I am the best mechanic around. I’ll have this working even better than before.” Raven says as she wipes a tear from Octavia’s cheek.
Octavia offered her girlfriend a small smile, “Thanks Rae.”
“That’s my girl.” Raven said, kissing her on the cheek.
At the same time on the other side of the room...
“Are you fucking kidding me Jasper? Do you know how much that old train means to O?” Bellamy sighed in frustration. “That’s it. You’re cut off for the night.”
“What no! It was just an accident!”
“Since I don’t take orders from you, I’m gonna need a better reason.” Bellamy glared down at as Jasper stumbled to think of anything that could possibly save his ass and his drinking rights in that moment. He found none.
“...Fine I’m cut off for just tonight.”
Lexa just smirked to herself. ‘Yu gonplei ste odon’.
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Bellamy had send Jasper over to possibly help Monty out with the sound system, partially to keep him away from the eggnog and so he wouldn’t have to hold back Octavia in case Raven couldn’t fix the train. He had faith in Raven, but he also knew just how vicious his little sister could be when she was pissed. Even Raven might not be able to hold her back from this one. Hell she might even encourage Octavia to kick Jasper’s ass.
As Raven was tinkering with Octavia’s train next to the Christmas tree, Clarke felt the tree was just about done to suit her aesthetic needs. The last thing this bad boy needed was the star at the top of the tree. Clarke spent a whole month designing and creating the perfect stars to top the trees of all her friends’ houses. It was a tradition that started way back to when Octavia and Clarke first met back in kindergarten. Clarke and Octavia were partnered off for a mini Christmas tree decorating contest. The winners would get ice cream and a longer recess. What kind of five year old could resist an offer like that? The goal was to decorate the tree as best as you could with supplies that could be found in the classroom. At first Clarke and Octavia butt heads a lot about how their tree should look. Clarke wanted something that was aesthetic and flowed with each other while Octavia wanted something loud that made a statement. Things kept escalating between the two until Murphy destroyed all their paper ornaments with some rogue scissors as sabotage. Having to start over and finding a common enemy they both wanted to take down, really motivated the girls into working together. They didn’t win, but they did win the prize of a start to a beautiful friendship. Every since that fateful day, Clarke and Octavia have always decorated each other’s Christmas tree for Christmas.
This year, Clarke had prepared a shiny blue star that almost seemed to glow like the blue butterfly she saw in that Life is Strange game Lexa made her play months ago. With the help of Raven and Monty, Clarke was able to reshape a sheet of steel Raven snagged for her at the autoparts shop into the shape of a six sided star. Then, she had Raven heat the star up until it changed to a dark blue that Monty had predicted would happen chemically. After it cooled, she gave it the oil finished that made the star stay blue but shine with little specs of other reflected colors. Only the best for her O, right?
Clarke told Octavia to go into the kitchen so she could put the star on the top of the tree for the epic reveal.
As soon as Octavia went to go wait in the kitchen, Clarke ran over to her duffel bag to retrieve the star. It shone brightly and reflected well with the Christmas lights on the tree. She grabbed an old ladder and started climbing up. Lexa just stood there near Raven and the tree. If someone who didn’t know Clarke and Lexa saw these two, you would think that Lexa was just in awe of the artistic talent that shined through the star, but for everyone else who knew the two, knew of the unresolved sexual tension building between them for the past two years, could tell that Lexa was just staring at Clarke.
Clarke was a beautiful work of art. She was like a sculpture crafted by all the master artists throughout the years to make one perfect work. Well at least to Lexa, that’s how beautiful Clarke was. The star might have been the one shining, but Clarke was the brightest star Lexa had ever seen.
Sudden as Clarke was just about to put the star on the tree
KAAABOOOOOM!
One of the big metal gears shot out of the train and slammed into the ladder. Maybe it was the force of the gear on that old rickety ladder. Maybe it was because Clarke had quite a few drinks of eggnog the whole day and reaching over the tree in a very not suitable for work way was probably not the best position to be in at the time. More likely a culmination of the two.
Clarke let out a small cry for help and closed her eyes for a split second expecting to meet the cold hard ground and probably a very sore back very soon, but it didn’t happen.
“It’s ok. You’re safe.”
Clarke opened her eyes to find a very worried Lexa staring at her. Even though Clarke was still a little disorientated by everything that just happened, she deduced that Lexa somehow managed to catch her.
“My hero!”
“Don’t go falling for me now, Griffin.” Lexa said teasingly.
“Too late…” Clarke said more seriously, staring at Lexa’s lips.
Lexa noticing Clarke staring at her deepened the blush that was already forming on her face from Clarke’s comment.
Lexa leaned in to do what she had wanting to do for over a year now: kiss Clarke Griffin.
Now’s the perfect opportunity. No one could have set up a better moment until,
“Ahem! Could you guys put away the sex eyes? I’m literally sitting under you like just one foot away. Or is this foursome with O finally going down? Cus just letting you know now, I’m not usually at the bottom.”
“Hey Clarke are you ok? I heard you scream from the kitchen.”
“Oh don’t worry, O. Clarke was just practicing for when we finally have our foursome.”
“Finally coming around eh, Griffin. It only took like a few months but I knew you’d cave. We’re pretty hot stuff.”
“Oh my god you guys please stop.” Clarke mumbled as she hid into Lexa’s chest to hide herself from this embarrassment.
If you think Clarke was embarrassed, Lexa’s face was practically a tomato.
“How did you convince Miss Stick Up Her Ass to agree to this?”
“Oh I just tried on a little bit of that ol’ Reyes charm. You should be well aware of how strong that can be” Raven said winking at her girlfriend.
“Clarke, I’m going to put you down now, ok?”
Lexa couldn’t be in this room any longer. She already lost her icy cold composure, staying here imaging having sex with Clarke as Clarke’s face was pressed up against her chest would only make matters worse. These might be her friends now, but she wasn’t ready to completely lose her hard built dignity so fast. She needed to get outside, calm down, and find her chill again.
“I’m going to see if Anya needs help outside.” Lexa quickly muttered as she put Clarke down on the couch.
“Wow, Clarke. How’d you get Lexa whipped so fast? Did you use an actual whip?”
Oh god Lexa needed to get out of here. Now.
Clarke laid there frozen, still shocked over what just happened and more importantly, what could have happened if Raven hadn’t said anything.
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“Ok guys I think everything’s all set up and ready to go.”
“Perfect. It’s gonna be lit as fuck!”
“Literally.” Anya chuckled.
Looking out onto the front of the house, there were people standing around everywhere, getting ready for the yearly spectacle. The first night of December always marked the neighborhood kickoff to the countdown for Christmas. The Blake’s neighbors had brought out their lawn chairs and chatted idly since the sun had fully set. This year even a local news team was out there to livestream the event.
“Maya, what’re you doing over here?”
“Hey Jasper” Maya said as she went over to give Jasper a hug.
“I’m interning for the local news this break. You know it looks great on my application if I still want to try to transfer over to you and the Arkers.”
“That’s amazing news!”
Maya laughed at the pun. Score one for Jasper.
“It is. Hey what’s that on your back?”
“Oh this thing? I uh made mobile mistletoe. I know it sounds like a wimpy excuse but…” Jasper was cut off as Maya kissed him on the cheek.
“You’re not a coward. You’re smart. Oh looks like your friends are about to start. Sorry, I need to start my intro. Later Jasper.”
Jasper slowly turned his head to watch her go over to the front of the house with a blush on his face. Score five thousand for Jasper! He ran over to Monty and exclaimed,
“IT WORKED, MONTY! IT ACTUALLY WORKED!”
“Woah chill there, buddy. What worked?”
“My mobile mistletoe! Maya kissed me on the cheek. I didn’t even need Clarke’s help making look more flashy. It was perfect!”
“Aw I’m happy for you, Jas!”
Anya and Raven went over to the command central ready to start. Bellamy gave a short quick speech about continuing traditions even after their mother died and how they wanted to make a show that even she could see from up above in Heaven. Bellamy always got emotional talking about his mom so he quickly handed the microphone over to Raven.
“What’s up guys! This is your girl, Zero G, and a little birdie told me we got DJ Grounder Princess with us in the house!”
“That you do.”
“Just wanna give a quick shout out to my fellow Arkers out there! Now who’s ready to blast off?’
The crowd screams getting pumped by the anticipation of the show to start.
“Leggo!”
Anya started up the music slow with the classic Jingle Bell Rock that everyone knew as the first basic lights came on. Octavia, Raven, and Clarke decided to reenact the Jingle Bell Rock dance from Mean Girls because well why not? Jasper wanted to join in in hopes to make Maya laugh acting like the Gretchen Weiners of the dance group. It looked like it worked because Jasper saw Maya trying to hide a laugh. Score one for Jasper. He was on a roll today despite almost having his ass kicked by Bellamy just a few hours earlier.
Lexa couldn’t help but laugh to herself as she watched Clarke dance seductively in a comedic fashion. She could be such an adorable dork sometimes. Part way through the routine, Anya sped up the music, added a few extra beats, and let the music start stuttering at ‘Jingle’. The classic Christmas song was beginning to mix with electronic dance music and even the lights and the decorations were beginning to flash along with the beat. Once the beat changed, Octavia’s dancing turned more into krumping, Raven’s into a sort of hip hop vibe, Clarke moved like she was trying to seducing someone at bar, and Jasper turned into your typical white boy dancer.
Lexa was starting to get a little turned on watching Clarke dance like that so she decided she needed to stop herself. The neighbors caught the dancing vibes and started joining in creating a dance floor on the Blake’s lawn as Lexa walked away towards the opposite direction. Anya kept building the music until it reached the climax and she dropped the beat yelling “jingle bells mutha fucka” into the microphone. Everyone lost their shit to put it simply. Good thing Bellamy was the police force or they could have gotten a noise complaint from the next neighborhood over and gotten shut down.
Clarke broke out from the crowd and looked around. She saw Lexa just sitting on the floor, smiling at the crowd. Lexa was never really into this type of party scene or well any party scene really, but she had to admit she was proud of Anya. Anya had a sort of power over the people, getting them out of their shells to dance to her music. She could tell Anya was really expressing herself through her music. She was catching second hand happiness from her sister.
“Hey Commander Raccoon Eyes, what’re you doing over here in the corner all by yourself.”
“Just observing the moment is all.”
“Well why don’t you stop observing the moment and join me in the moment?”
“Oh Clarke, I’m not really…”
Clarke cut her off. “Please Lex? ” Giving her the biggest puppy dogs eyes she could muster up.
Lexa sighed. Maybe she really was a little whipped for this girl.
“One dance. That’s it. But I’m giving you fair warning right now, I’m a very awkward dancer.”
“Just shut up and dance with me”
Clarke took Lexa by the hand and brought her to the center of the crowd. Clarke started dancing while Lexa just kind of stared at her. Clarke really was mesmerizing, the way her hips swayed with the beat, how she ran her fingers through her hair, how she could make Lexa feel so weak in the knees just by a glance. Clarke stopped dancing when she noticed Lexa hadn’t moved the whole time she was there.
“Lex, this doesn’t count as one song if you didn’t even move an inch since it started.”
“I...uh...well I don’t really know what to do…”
“Oh dancing’s easy! Here let me help you” Clarke said as she put her hands on Lexa’s hips.
Lexa blushed at the sudden contact.
“Just try to feel the music and move however you feel is right”.
Lexa tried to feel the rhythm, but she was still feeling too self conscious about everyone so close to her.
Clarke could feel how uncomfortable Lexa was with everyone around by how Lexa kept swiveling her head around looking at everyone. The panic in Lexa was starting to build up. Fast.
“Hey Lex…”
Her breathing was starting to become uneven.
”Lex….”
Fuck.
She needed to get out.
She needed…
“LEXA!” Clarke yelled holding Lexa’s face with both her hands to get her to look at her in the eyes.
After a minute of the two staring at each other, Lexa began to calm down. Well as much as she could as Clarke gently held her face so close to hers, stroking it with her thumb across her cheek.
“Just focus on me ok, Lex? Pretend no one else is here except you, me, and the music” Clarke said softly.
Clarke leaned into Lexa’s ear and whispered “Just take a deep breath, close your eyes if you need to, and feel me.”
Lexa hesitantly took a deep breathe as she followed Clarke’s instructions. Clarke slowly began to dance with Lexa. Moving together made Lexa feel like the world around them disappeared. Maybe this wasn’t as bad as she thought.
There was no fear, no anxiety, just her with Clarke.
Now Lexa’s heart was starting to beat rapidly for a different reason. She opened her eyes and smiled at Clarke. The worry from Clarke’s face disappeared with that smile. She was thinking that maybe she pushed Lexa too far out of her comfort zone, but now she thought Lexa was really beginning to enjoy herself.
The two danced for more than just one song although it didn’t feel like that to Lexa. Clarke just made time stand still in her world. Lexa had to admit, Clarke was really turning her on again with those dance moves. Lexa wanted to impress Clarke, but all that seemed to do was make Clarke laugh. She looked like such a dork, but Clarke loved that. Clarke couldn’t take it anymore. She stopped dancing and looped her arms around Lexa’s neck. Lexa put her arms around Clarke’s waist out of instinct to keep them both up. Clarke just couldn’t stop laughing. No offense to Anya, but Clarke’s laughter was the best sound Lexa had ever heard.
When Clarke finally stopped, she looked at Lexa smiling down at her with what appeared to be heart eyes. This is it. Here was their second chance at a first kiss to release all the feelings they had been bottling up for so long. Lexa tilted Clarke’s chin with her hand and leaned in.
WHAAAAMP
“Sorry guys! I gotta get back to Command Central for the finale” Raven apologized as she ran off.
Today was just not Clarke’s day. She thought Raven wanted her to finally get together with Lexa?
Clarke knew Raven running into her, knocking her away from Lexa was just an accident, but damn could she just catch a break? Their lips were literally almost touching!
Clarke was not the only one frustrated with the events of the day. Lexa detached herself from Clarke.
Maybe this was a sign from Costia...No.
If Anya wasn’t busy DJing, she would have reminded Lexa that Costia loved her and she would want her to be happy. She just had to keep reminding herself that. Costia would want her to be happy. Clarke makes her feel happy again. Costia would want Lexa to be with Clarke. Everything would be ok. It just wasn’t their time. Not yet. She wouldn’t give up on Clarke that easily. Clarke was worth waiting for. Lexa took a deep, calming breath. She needed to clear her head.
“Hey Clarke, could we go back to the other side of the street? Anya and Raven are about to start the finale and I want to get a clear look.”
“Sure Lex. I think I need a little breathing room anyways.” Clarke took Lexa’s hand so that they wouldn’t get separated as they weaved their way through the crowd. Lexa shyly intertwined her fingers with Clarke’s.
A small blush bloomed on Clarke’s face.
“Finally. Where have you been? I thought I was going to have to finish up this show myself.”
“What and miss my favorite part? Hell no!”
Anya laughed as she handed Raven the microphone.
“Y’all ready for this? Cus Zero G is gonna make this go boom.” Literally.
Anya built up the beat again as Raven began pushing a series of buttons. In a few seconds, Anya dropped the beat and an explosion of fireworks went off some distance away from the house. The fireworks worked in synced with the music in a way only Anya and Raven could do. People danced in awe of the spectacle they were witnessing. Some of them even stopped dancing to watch the fireworks.
The fireworks might have been going off up in the sky, but they were nothing compared to the fireworks going off inside Lexa when Clarke leaned her head onto Lexa’s shoulder as they watched the fireworks.
Neither of them wanting to fully acknowledge the frustrating almost events that happened that day, the two just decided to take in the moment together right now before something else tried to ruin it. But hey it was only Christmas 1. As frustrating as it was, they had plenty of time to sort it out later. Lexa knew she had many more Christmases with Clarke to come.