Polis has changed
5 Year Time Jump
“Fuck that feels so good. Fuck Lex…” Clarke moans out as Lexa continues going down on the blonde, her tongue creating soft long strokes where Clarke desperately needs her most. “I’m really..close...oh god!” Clarke’s eyes roll into the back of her head and her back arches off the bed.
Lexa uses one of her arms to keep Clarke in place while the blonde rides out the rest of her orgasm. Once Clarke has recovered from her orgasm, they start to put their clothes back on.
“So that was a lot of fun.” Clarke says, as she puts her panties and shorts back on. Lexa nods as she throws her sports jersey back on.
“Yeah it was great as usual.” Lexa says softly. She loves being this close with Clarke.
“Well I better get going. I’m meeting your sister at the usual coffeeshop in town.” Clarke says casually and Lexa nods slowly.
“Oh okay cool. Laurel didn’t mention that to me earlier when I saw her.” Lexa says curiously. She asked her sister her plans for the day and she remembers Laural being a little hesitant to give her an answer.
“Well I mean to be fair, she does think we still aren’t on speaking terms.” Clarke says lightly. Lexa tenses slightly. She hates this part, the part where they have to come back to reality. A reality where her and Clarke are no longer together.
“True..” Lexa says quietly, the air around them changing.
“So yeah, I should…” Clarke trails off and Lexa nods again.
“Right right, yeah..I’ll see you soon maybe?” Lexa says hopefully and she curses herself for how weak she sounds.
“Of course. I’d love to see you again.” Clarke says honestly, her voice cracking a bit. Clarke looks unsure for a moment before going in for a hug. Lexa tenses for a moment but then hugs her back. They stay like that for quite some time until Clarke pulls away, leaving one loving kiss on Lexa’s cheek.
“Take care of yourself, Lex.” Clarke says and Lexa smiles gently, her eyes a little sad. She hates to watch Clarke walk away.
“You too Clarke.”
God, watching Clarke leave gets harder and harder each time.
///
“So are you seeing anyone new?” Laurel asks curiously before taking a sip of her coffee. Her and Clarke have remained immensely close over the years. Laurel just graduated college and is now in her first year teaching at their old high school. She’s a english teacher and she absolutely loves it.
“You already know the answer to that.” Clarke says wistfully. Laurel looks at her sadly.
“It’s been over a year now..” Laurel says carefully. She knows how sore of a subject this is for both Clarke and Lexa.
“Yeah..” Clarke says simply. “But I still love her, Laur.”
“You know she loves you too right?” Laurel says honestly. “You two are the only things standing in your way of being together again.”
“I can’t. The last time it didn’t work out, it broke me...her too. I can’t put either of us through that again.” Clarke says sadly and Laurel shakes her head. She loves Clarke and Lexa to death but boy are they stubborn.
///
“Are you going to be okay with seeing Clarke tomorrow?” Octavia asks Lexa as they flip through the TV channels. “The whole crew is getting together at Club Trikru. It’s the first outing of the summer. You know she’s coming.”
“Yeah I know..Me and Clarke are mature adults. We can be in the same room.” Lexa replies evenly.
“I know, I know. You sure though?” Octavia asks warily. Lexa and Clarke were the class sweethearts for their high school graduating class. They were perfect, the couple everyone envied. Everyone thought they were going to get married right out of college. And now that they aren’t together anymore, nobody is sure how to act around both of them at the same time.
Clarke wasn’t home for summer break last year as she was doing an internship in South Africa. So her and Lexa hadn’t really seen each other since this past winter, which was filled with a whole lot of emotional baggage and drama.
“It’s okay Tav. It’s been a year.” Lexa replies weakly. She’s not sure what her and Clarke are doing right now, but she knows for certain that their friends can’t know..yet. It seems like they’re just sleeping together, which breaks Lexa’s heart. She has always wanted more with Clarke. She went from being with Clarke emotionally and physically, mind body and soul, to nothing at all and now back to being with her physically. These past few years have given her emotional whiplash.
“So are you saying you finally have moved on?” Octavia asks, surprised.
Lexa smiles sadly and looks off. “Not a chance in hell.”
\\\
“Hey guys” Clarke says with a wide smile on her face. Her eyes drift to Lexa and she’s all nerves though.
“Clarke!” A series of cheer and hellos are thrown her way. Lexa offers her a small, timid ‘hi’ before scurrying off to get a drink. Octavia and Laurel observe the longing glances both girls are throwing at each other from across the bar. Octavia looks over to Laurel and just from the look in the older Woods’ eyes, she knows she agree with her; this is going to be a really long night.
“Clarke, come hang out a bit!” Roan calls out happily. Roan was overseas in the army while Clarke and Lexa were in high school. Lexa heard of him nonstop from Bellamy and Octavia but she never really knew him until a few years ago when he moved back to Polis. He moved back about three years ago when Clarke and her were still together.
Lexa was still in Polis so she got to know Roan pretty well and decided he was a decent enough guy. She knew he was one of Clarke’s close friends growing up. Clarke adored him. But now, now Lexa sees Roan very differently. And after everything that happened last winter, she still really isn’t over it.
///
Last Winter Break
Lexa and Clarke have been broken up for about half of a year now. They broke up in spring of their sophomore year of college and it is now winter of their junior year. They haven’t seen each other since their break up. Clarke didn’t want to come back over the summer so instead she applied for a internship in South Africa and went without looking back. It hurt too much to be back in Polis. But now, Clarke is back.
“Lex..you’re staring at her again.” Costia says while sipping her beer. Clarke has been back in town for a few weeks but she hasn’t really come out with the group much, opting to catch up with Roan most of the time. Lexa would lying if she said she wasn’t jealous.
“I can’t help it..” Lexa says with a frown on her face. “Why is she hanging all over him like that?” Lexa says annoyed. Costia sighs lightly. “What? Why are you sighing?” Lexa asks, frustrated.
“Lex, she isn’t ‘hanging all over him.’ She’s just talking to him.” Costia supplies honestly. Clarke and Roan seem to just be talking with some other friends. The party is at Bellamy’s apartment so of course Roan was going to be there. Lexa is just jealous because Clarke is spending all her time with him. Truthfully, Clarke has been avoided big hangouts with the group because it hurts too much to see Lexa but not be with her.
“Do you think they’re hooking up?” Lexa blurts out randomly. Costia’s eyes widen in surprise.
“Whoa there. Calm down with the assumptions.” Costia says lightly. Lexa and Costia have become good friends these past few years. Costia came back to Polis after she graduated college. Lexa actually helped her get an interview at Woods, Inc. and now she’s working there as a human resources manager.
“She has to have been with people since we broke up. And look at the way he is looking at her.” Lexa blurts out insecurely. She hates this. She hates this so much.
“Lexa.” Costia says firmly, snapping her fingers in Lexa’s face so she stops staring at the blonde. Lexa looks at her reluctantly. “You need to stop this. I doubt they’re hooking up. Even if they are, you two are broken up. You have been with people since the break up so you don’t have any right to say anything right now.” Costia says honestly. Lexa huffs in frustration and hangs her head in guilt.
“Fuck this..” Lexa shakes her head and goes off to get another beer. Clarke frowns when she looks up and observes what seems to be an argument between Lexa and Costia. Clarke decides to follow Lexa into the back of the house to check on her and see if she’s okay.
“Lexa?..” Clarke starts looking in back bedrooms for Lexa, already having a bad feeling about this. “Lex?”
Clarke opens the another bedroom door and her eyes widen. Her heart starts beating really fast and her hand squeezes the doorknob tightly. “Um s-sorry.” Clarke shuts the door quickly, tears springing at her eyes. The blonde shakes her head and hurries out of the house. Coming back to Polis was such a mistake.
///
“How’s everything, Roan?” Clarke says with a polite smile on her face. After everything that happened last year, she’s trying to be much more careful with Roan’s feelings. She didn’t know it this past winter but Roan had feelings for her.
“Good. Just started a new gig with private security. Money is really nice. What about you?” Roan replies sweetly. Clarke smiles. She really did miss her friend.
“Last year of college is coming up then I’m not sure. There are a lot of museums I can work at once I graduate.” Clarke replies casually.
“Would you ever think about moving back to Polis?” Roan asks curiously. Lexa’s head jerks up at that question. This was their biggest problem. Lexa was still in Polis and Clarke was across the country. Of course, it was much more complicated than that though.
Clarke looks up and immediately makes eye contact with her ex. Of course Lexa is so much more than her ex though. Lexa looks like she’s hanging on her every word. “There’s always a chance.” Clarke says with a sad smile, her eyes never drifting from Lexa’s intense gaze.
Lexa’s heart starts beating faster. Clarke didn’t say she was moving back but she did say there was a chance. And as long as there’s a chance, Lexa will never give up.
///
“Clarke, you have to be quiet or else everyone will hear us.” Lexa groans gently as she continues thrusting in and out of Clarke. Clarke moans softly as Lexa pumps her hips. They are up against a wall in the Woods house. After the club, everyone decided to go back to Lexa and Laurel’s house. Clarke hesitantly came along but now her and Lexa are having sex against the wall of Lexa’s bedroom. They couldn’t even make it to the bed.
“I don’t know...if I can be quiet.” Clarke moans out. Lexa starts thrusting quicker and faster. Clarke yelps out in pleasure.
“We are making too much noise.” Lexa whisper moans out. She’s so paranoid of everyone finding out they’re sleeping together. If the group finds out, she’s terrified they will ask too many question and Clarke will just end this before it even has a chance to begin again.
“Bed then..” Clarke moans out and Lexa nods in agreeance. She carries Clarke over to the bed and removes herself from Clarke’s inner walls. Clarke all but pouts at the loss of feeling full.
“Get on your hands and knees baby-..um shit sorry.” Lexa stutters out. She called Clarke ‘baby’ just like she used to. Shit, that’s a good way to make it awkward. Clarke tenses for a second but smiles sadly and waves Lexa off.
“It’s okay Lex. It was just a slip up.” Clarke whispers gently and then proceeds to get on her hands and knees. Instead of focusing on how she wants this to be more than ‘just a slip up,’ Lexa situates herself and slowly starts to push into Clarke. Clarke moans out loudly, but this time puts her face in the pillow to muffle the sounds of pleasure.
Lexa starts thrusting into Clarke, feeling like bliss. Lexa is so close embarrassingly quick. Before these past few hookups with Clarke, she hasn’t really had sex in a long time. It was surprising to everyone, herself included, that Lexa didn’t revert back to her player ways after her and Clarke broke up. She supposes that means she has grown as a person.
“Clarke..” Lexa moans out and her hips start to jerk sloppily and faster. She’s so fucking close. She can’t control herself. Clarke grips at the sheets and moans obscenely loud, but since it's into the pillow, the sounds are very muted. Lexa can feel Clarke’s walls start to grip her member as the blonde comes. Lexa can’t hold it anymore and starts to come herself. The feeling of coming with Clarke is one of her favorite feelings in the world. It’s everything to Lexa that she gets to experience this again. She never thought she’d get that.
Lexa pulls out and disposes of the condom while Clarke lays breathless in her sheets. Lexa hesitantly lays next to Clarke and the blonde invites Lexa under the covers with her. Lexa looks over at the blonde and Clarke is already staring up at her with her big entrancing blue eyes.
“You know everyone downstairs is probably already asleep.” Clarke says, still a little out of breath. Lexa nods in agreeance. When they snuck upstairs earlier, almost everyone was asleep or engaged in some drunk conversation with one another. Nobody would miss their presence when they were that drunk. Lexa and Clarke weren’t drunk though. I guess both girls knew that if they got too drunk around one another, truths would start to come out. Truths like the fact that they both still love one another.
“Yeah probably.” Lexa mumbles softly. Lexa takes a chance and caresses Clarke’s face, moving some stray sweaty strands out of her face. Clarke looks up at her with wide hopeful eyes and Lexa feels like she has done something right.
“You can stay here if you want to.” Lexa adds gently. She knows Clarke is going to say no but it’s worth a shot anyways. Clarke bites her lip in contemplation. She wants to say yes but she’s afraid. Then everyone else will know that they are sleeping together and assume they’re back together. And Clarke has no idea what Lexa wants from this and she’s too afraid to ask her. Clarke broke after Lexa and her ended last time. She couldn’t take another heartbreak.
“I can’t..” Clarke replies regrettably. Lexa looks like a sad puppy dog but nevertheless nods.
“Yeah I figured..” Lexa shrugs with a sad smile.
“But I can stay here and talk for awhile..” Clarke adds hopefully. She isn’t even sure if Lexa wants to talk to her. Maybe this is just physical for her at this point. But deep down, Clarke hopes it’s much more for Lexa as it is for her. “Unless you are like tired and want to go to bed.” Clarke blurts out insecurely.
“No no, you should stay for as long as you want. I’d love to talk. We can catch up. I don’t think we’ve really talked since...well since this started.” Lexa says nervously and Clarke smiles. They really haven’t talked. They started sleeping together the first week Clarke got back for the summer, which was about three weeks ago. Lexa came to visit Jake but he wasn’t home. Her and Jake have remained very close since the days where she lived with them before her emancipation was approved. But Jake wasn’t home and Clarke was. Clarke came home a few days early to surprise her father but it turns out he was upstate visiting his new wife Indra’s sister and her family for the day.
So Clarke and Lexa were alone. It was like a switch flipped or something and all of a sudden, Lexa had Clarke under her on the couch where they used to stay up all night watching cheesy romcoms that high school Clarke loved so much. They had sex and it was the start of this no communication but lots of sex arrangement. It hurts Lexa because her and Clarke were always so good at telling each other how they feel. Their communication was always great, especially after all the Mercedes drama. But just like a year ago, their communication now is failing. Maybe tonight could be a chance to finally fix this and talk once and for all.
“So how have you been Lex?” Clarke starts off light. She feels very vulnerable right now, not just because she’s finally having an open honest conversation with her ex after a year of wanting this and only this but also because she is very very naked under the covers.
“Do you want an honest answer?” Lexa asks quietly. She isn’t sure if this is going to be a conversation just filled with pleasantries or a real one.
“I always want honest answers. You never have to lie to me or feel the need to hide how you really feel.” Clarke says truthfully. Lexa bites her lip the way she always does whenever she’d thinking.
“Well then I’ve been pretty bad.” Lexa says with a small shrug of her shoulders. Clarke frowns at this. “I miss you like hell and it’s been really lonely in Polis without you.” Lexa says, her voice shaky and cracking. Is she really doing this right now?
“Oh..” Clarke says in surprise. She thought Lexa might have been over her at this point. She has all her new friends from her fancy state basketball team. All the girls must throw themselves over her. Meanwhile, Clarke spends most of her time in the dusty library sections on art history. She rarely goes out and parties, opting usually to hangout with her friends at their apartments or go out to the occasional bar. It’s rare that she will even remotely entertain someone else’s flirting let alone be with them in any way. Clarke thought she was alone in the fact that she hasn’t moved on.
“So yeah..that’s how I’ve been feeling. What about you? How has everything been.” Lexa tries to clear up the awkwardness she’s feeling right now. She didn’t think Clarke would react like that..or at least she was hoping for a little different of a reaction. It’s taking every fiber of Lexa’s being to not get up and run out of the bed from the overwhelming feeling of embarrassment.
“Pretty much the same.” Clarke says simple with a sad smile but her eyes carry so much emotion. “It has been really hard without you in my life.”
Lexa smiles sadly and so does Clarke. “We messed this up, didn’t we?” Lexa adds weakly and Clarke looks at her knowingly.
“Doesn’t mean we can’t fix it..” Clarke mutters nervously. Lexa looks at her with an unrecognizable face.
“What does that mean?” Lexa whispers out, too afraid to even speak. She’s worried that she’s interpreting Clarke’s vague words incorrectly.
“I’m not sure..we...I still care about you, Lexa. I..we both made mistakes but that doesn’t mean we have to let our connection die out with it.” Clarke says gently. She doesn’t want to propose trying again if that’s something Lexa isn’t even thinking about. Not to mention, the problems they were having still very much exist. Clarke is across the country. Lexa decided last minute to accept the scholarship offered to her from the Polis U instead of going to Ice Nation College with Clarke. It caused many problems but they tried to make it work. Their lives are so different now though. Clarke is going into her senior year at Ice Nation and Lexa is doing the same at Polis. Clarke doesn’t know where she will be in a year. It all depends on where she can find a reputable museum to work at. The timing of all of this is horrible. But when is the timing ever perfect?
“Does that mean you want to try again?” Lexa says, trying to mask her desperate hope that that is exactly what Clarke is saying. Clarke looks at her nervously.
“I don’t know where I’ll be in a year and as of right now, we are still so far away from one another.” Clarke says weakly.
“That’s not an answer.” Lexa says firmly, anxious to hear Clarke’s response.
“After being like this with you again, I don’t think I could go back to being just exes.” Clarke says quietly, refusing to make eye contact with Lexa. Lexa cups Clarke cheeks and presses her own forehead to Clarke’s.
“Even before this all started again, you were never just an ex to me. You’ll always be more to me, Clarke, no matter what happens.” Lexa whispers before kissing Clarke passionately. It’s different than the kisses they have been sharing these past few weeks. It tinged with sweetness and hope for the future.
Lexa adds tongue and their kisses begin to grow more sensual, both girls becoming aroused again. Lexa gets on top of Clarke and all her movements are gentle, dare I say loving. When they have sex again, Lexa stares into Clarke’s eyes and it’s everything. They don’t just have sex that night, they make love for the first time since their break up. And it’s the start of something. Neither girls are exactly sure what this all means to one another just yet, but they know it means something. They are more than just exes or fuckbuddies, they are Clarke and Lexa. And they will find their way back to one another again..and this time, when they finally do reunite, it will be for good