Small Town, Big Love

Lexa is excited to just get home. It’s been a long day and she hasn’t seen Clarke at all. This break is killing her but it’s a little better since she lives with Clarke. She can see Clarke smile at the dinner table and laugh at Jake’s corny jokes. It’s the most peace she gets all day. And even if she can’t hold Clarke at night anymore, Lexa at least finds comfort in the fact that Clarke is only a room away from her.

Lexa gets home and the house is eerily silent. She assumes Jake is probably at Indra’s for date night. She’s happy Jake has found someone. He deserves it after the hell Clarke’s mom put him through. Lexa decides to go knock on Clarke’s door and ask if she wants to order some pizza. She knows they’re on a break and she knows it’s not Sunday, but maybe then can hangout alone tonight. She really misses being alone with Clarke.

“Hey Clarke.” Lexa says gently, leaning on Clarke’s doorway. Clarke looks up from her sketch and smiles.

“Hey Lex.”

“Umm…so I figured Jake went to Indra’s for dinner and I wanted to know if you wanted to order a pizza or something?” Lexa rambles nervously. God, when did she become so nervous? She guesses love has done crazy things to her game…not that she minds it at all.

“Sure pizza sounds good.” Clarke says softly, putting her sketchbook away. “I actually wanted to talk about something anyways.”

“Oh right..yeah okay.” Lexa mumbles nervously, racking her brain for what Clarke could want to talk about. Maybe she’s ready to get back together? No, that can’t be it. Could it? Lexa feels hope blossom in her chest. Or maybe she wants to break up for good now. Lexa really hopes that’s not it.

“How about we go out to eat? I could use a change of venue.” Clarke mumbles and Lexa nods absentmindedly, seemingly still in her own thoughts.

“Sure. Whatever you want.”

///

“So what did you want to talk about?” Lexa asks eagerly once they sit down and order at Clarke’s favorite pizza parlor.

“Oh right..well I’m going to visit my mom in L.A.” Clarke mumbles unenthusiastically while playing with the straw of her soda. Lexa’s eyes widen. She never thought Clarke would willingly go see her mom.

“Oh wow..I…what made you decide to do that?” Lexa asks softly. Clarke just shrugs.

“She threatened to sue for custody if I didn’t visit. Something about making amends.” Clarke mutters bitterly. The idea of Abby taking Clarke away from her forms a large unpleasant knot in Lexa’s throat.

“You don’t think she could actually win, right?” Lexa asks worriedly. Clarke looks up at Lexa’s worried expression and her features immediately soften.

“No. Besides I’ll be 18 soon. It doesn’t matter what she wants.” Clarke reassures Lexa, placing her hand over the brunette’s. They’re silent for a minute, just enjoying the comfort of being with one another. The waitress serves them their pizza a moment later, breaking the scene.

///

“Hey Lex?” Clarke knocks on Lexa’s door later that night. Clarke hears a faint ‘come in’ from Lexa and opens the door. Lexa is wearing loose boxers and a sports bra to sleep. Clarke feels a little flush at the sight. God does she miss Lexa’s touch. Her own hands just aren’t the same.

“Everything okay, Clarke?” Lexa asks softly, getting up from her bed.

“Yeah..you don’t have to get up. I…well..I-“

“What’s wrong?” Lexa asks worriedly, her brows furrowed.

“Nothing. I’ve been thinking a lot about going to L.A. since our talk earlier and I was..well I was wondering if you could come with me.” Clarke mumbles nervously. Lexa’s eyes widen in surprise.

“You want me to come..with you?” Lexa asks slowly.

“Yeah. I just don’t think I can face my mom alone. And you..well you ground me. I feel safe and calm with you.” Clarke confesses just above a whisper. Lexa’s heart melts. “But if it’s too much, then I totally understand. I know we are still on a break and if it’s too confusing, then I completely understand and-“

“Clarke.” Lexa chuckles and interrupts the adorable ranting girl in front of her. “I’d love to.”

“Yeah? You’re sure?” Clarke asks hesitantly.

“Very.” Lexa smiles softly. “I’m always going to be here for you.”

Clarke smiles sweetly and blushes. Lexa feels her heart beat faster at the sight of Clarke’s radiant smile. All Lexa ever wants from life is to keep making Clarke Griffin smile.

///

Two weeks later, Jake drives both girls to the airport. Despite everything Clarke told him about her relationship issues with Lexa, he felt better that Lexa was going with Clarke to L.A. Clarke needs all the support she can get right now. Seeing Abby again is going to be tough for Clarke. He’s glad that despite their issues right now, Lexa is still going to be there for his daughter. Jake can tell Lexa is the one for Clarke. He just knows it.

“Hey..nervous?” Lexa asks as she holds out her hand for Clarke to take. Clarke accepts greedily. The plane is about to land in L.A.

“A little.” Clarke smiles nervously. Lexa takes a risk and kisses Clarke’s palm like she used to. Clarke shuts her eyes and smiles slightly.

“It’s going to be okay. I’m here with you.” Lexa mumbles against Clarke’s skin.

“Thank you Lex.” Clarke says softly, her eyes fluttering open.

“Like I said, I’m always going to be here for you.” Lexa smiles gently and Clarke returns the sentiment.

Their friends assume that they are going to get back together on this trip. Slowly but surely, they have been acting more and more like a couple. Only now, Lexa is better. She talks to Clarke and they tell each other everything. It’s only a matter of it Clarke trusts Lexa again. And that’s something Clarke and only Clarke knows the answer to.

///

“Clarke..let me get a look at you.” Abby says a wide smile. “You look great! I’m so glad you got rid of that pink in your hair.”

“Mom, this is Lexa. Lexa, this is my mother.” Clarke says bitterly. Lexa smiles politely.

“Hello Mrs..um..Mrs.-“ Lexa inwardly facepalms. Does she call her Mrs. Griffin? Fuck, what does she call her?!

“Mrs. Tanner, dear. I changed back to my maiden name after the divorce.” Abby replies dryly. “Are you Clarke’s girlfriend?”

“Umm..”

“No, she’s not.” Clarke cuts in abruptly. Lexa won’t lie. Clarke’s quick answer hurt like a bitch.

“Well, either way, it’s lovely to meet you Lexa. This is my friend Henry. Henry is running for senator.”

“Nice to meet you.” Lexa politely says and goes to shake his hand.

“You as well.” Henry says politely. Henry has platinum white hair. He’s in an expensive suit and clean shaven.

“What happened to the pilates instructor?” Clarke speaks in an almost bored tone.

“Clarke!” Abby reprimands her daughter. Clarke’s mother sighs. “Look, there’s no denying that I have made some mistakes. But I am trying to make up for it. So please, can you at least try and limit your level of sass on this trip?”

Clarke rolls her eyes and grumbles. Lexa squeezes her hand in comfort. “Whatever.”

The car ride to Abby’s house is completely silent. Abby tries making small talk in the beginning but Clarke has decided to not be sassy by simply not answering Abby’s questions whatsoever. Abby drops the girls off and says she has dinner plans with Henry and will be back late. Clarke and Lexa put their bags in a guest bedroom.

“So that’s your mom.” Lexa calls out while she starts to unpack.

“I told you she was a bitch.” Clarke sighs out, coming out of the guest bedroom’s bathroom in only her bra and a very revealing thong. Lexa’s eyes widen and she starts coughing.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I forgot.” Clarke mumbles, covering her exposed chest with a blanket.

“No um..um it’s okay.” Lexa says softly.

“I just wanted to change into a bikini. We have Raven’s beach party tonight remember?” Clarke says lightly. “Hey it’s not anything you haven’t seen before right?” Clarke jokes lightly but it falls short.

“Right.” Lexa smiles at her and gets up quickly. “I’m gonna let you change and then I’ll come back in and then um..then I’ll change.”

Lexa hurries out of the room, her pants suddenly very tight. “Fuck.” Lexa mumbles, leaning her head against the hallway wall. This trip is going to be the death of her.

///

The party is in full swing when Clarke and Lexa get there and it’s nothing like parties in small town Polis. This party is wild. There’s even a DJ.

“Wow..” Lexa mumbles out and Clarke chuckles.

“Yeah. Raven’s parents are loaded. This is their private beach so the cops never bother us. She throws these kind of parties all the time.” Clarke says nonchalantly and Lexa nods. “Let’s grab some drinks and look for Raven.”

As they pass by crowds of kids, a lot of people say hi to Clarke in passing. Clarke smiles politely and keeps on walking. It seems like all eyes are on Clarke, but from what Lexa can gather, Clarke hates the attention. Lexa knows Clarke hated living in L.A. She said her only real friend was Raven. But maybe Lexa understood her wrong. Maybe she was actually really popular but hated it.

“Clarke!” A small girl with brown hair and brown eyes runs up to Clarke and hugs her tight.

“Raven, oh my god! I’ve missed you so much!” Clarke squeals and hugs her back. Lexa smiles softly. So this is Clarke’s best friend.

“So you must be the sexy basketball player that took my Clarkey’s virginity.” Raven says while smirking. Lexa chokes on air.

“Oh my god, Raven!” Clarke lightly reprimands. Clarke turns her attention to Lexa. “Sorry about that Lex, Raven has no filter.”

“It’s true. I’m blunt. Speaking of blunts, we are going to go smoke over by the rocks in a bit if you want to come?” Raven asks innocently.

“No. I think we are good for now. We will catch you later though?” Clarke says gently and Raven says her goodbyes before walking away.

“Wanna dance?” Clarke says lightly and Lexa nods eagerly. They get on the dance floor and the dancing is innocent enough. Clarke is sure to keep some distance even though all she really wants to do is rub up against Lexa.

The girls dance for what seems like hours before Clarke whispers in Lexa’s ear that she wants to get a drink. Clarke holds out her hand and Lexa eagerly takes it. Everything feels different between them lately. It’s almost like Clarke forgives her. Maybe she even trusts her again?

Clarke grabs them two drinks when suddenly she hears her name called.

“Clarke Griffin!” Lexa and Clarke turn around to see a beautiful dirty blonde walking up to them. The girl is toned, almost as toned as Lexa. Lexa instantly feels threatened by this girl’s presence and she doesn’t even know why.

“Niylah, hi!” Clarke calls out excitedly and Lexa’s stomach forms in knots. So this is Niylah. The girl Clarke used to hook up with. The girl Clarke almost had sex with.

“How are you? I heard you moved. I was upset to hear that I wouldn’t seeing you running around in your bikinis anymore.” Niylah flirts and Lexa fumes inwardly. All she wants to do is put her arm around Clarke but she can’t. She can’t because she doesn’t even know what her and Clarke are. Not to mention, Clarke just told Abby they weren’t together.

“No more running around in bikinis for me. It’s a bit colder in Polis.” Clarke chuckles. “Niylah, this is Lexa. Lexa, this is Niylah.”

“Nice to meet you Lexa. Niylah says slowly with a polite smile on her face. She brings her attention back to Clarke. “Maybe I’ll see you on the dance floor.” Niylah winks before walking off.

“I’m sorry about that.” Clarke says apologetically. Lexa looks down at her feet and kicks the sand.

“It’s okay Clarke. We aren’t together.” Lexa mumbles sadly. She can’t help the tear that falls down her cheek.

“Come with me.” Clarke says firmly, pulling Lexa to a dark part of the beach far away from everyone. After about a 20 minute walk, Clarke pats the soft sand next to her and Lexa sits down. Lexa thinks this is it. Clarke is about to end things for good.

“I still love you.” Clarke says softly and Lexa whips her head up. “I know I said I wanted a break and I stand by that, but don’t you ever doubt my love for you.” Clarke caresses Lexa’s cheek, wiping away the brunette’s tears. And for Lexa, it’s like a dam breaks.

“I’ve missed you so much.” Lexa sobs and Clarke pulls her in tight.

“Baby, I’ve missed you too.” Clarke says all choked up. “Listen to me, Niylah doesn’t mean anything to me. Neither does Echo. You have no reason to be jealous of either of them. My heart belongs to you.”

Lexa cries harder into her shirt. “I love you. God, I love you.”

Clarke pulls Lexa’s chin up and kisses her. It’s not because of the alcohol. It’s ‘I love you.’ It’s ‘I miss you.’ It’s “I forgive you.’

Lexa immediately responds to the kiss. Their breaths are heavy as their tongues dance a familiar dance, finding the perfect rhythm. Clarke pushes Lexa down into the sand and straddles her. Lexa moans out as Clarke begins to grind on her.

“I love you.” Lexa moans out, feeling herself getting hard. It’s been too long.

“I need you.” Clarke’s words tattoo Lexa’s lips. Clarke pulls off her top an undoes her bikini top. Lexa immediately latches on to one of her breasts. Clarke mewls out. Their clothes are quickly shed.

The sex is frantic and needy, leaving sand in all the wrong places. But it leaves them sated and whole once more. They quickly throw on their clothes. They lay back down. Clarke cuddles into Lexa.

“Clarke..” Lexa shakily whispers out. “Was this just sex? Or do you…does this mean we can give us another shot?” Lexa says nervously. Clarke is quiet for a moment before she kisses Lexa’s collarbone.

“Yes.” Clarke mumbles out.

“Yes to which question?” Lexa says slowly, scared out of her mind.

“Yes. I want to try again.” Clarke says softly and Lexa immediately pulls her in for a bruising kiss.

“I’ll never lie to you again.” Lexa says sincerely.

“I trust you Lexa. I mean that.” Clarke says gently. “You’ve been trying so much these past two months. I know it hasn’t been easy for you with your parents’ deaths and with Mercedes pregnancy. But you have been going to therapy and you have been opening up more. You’re doing so well baby and I’m so proud of you.”

“I still let you down. I’ll never forgive myself for that.” Lexa says sadly. Clarke caresses her cheek.

“Hey, stop being so hard on yourself. You’ve learned from your mistakes. Love is about forgiveness too. And I forgive you and you’ve earned my trust back. I love you and I can’t spend another minute away from you.” Clarke says softly.

“I love you Clarke Griffin.” Lexa pours her heart into her words. “Thank you so much for giving me another chance to show you how much I love you.”

The pair kisses some more before it starts to get slightly heated again.

“Does this mean I can call you my girlfriend again?” Lexa asks excitedly and Clarke chuckles against her lips.

“Yes. I am your girlfriend again and you are mine.” Clarke says sweetly before kissing her again. They kiss some more before sneaking away from the party and back home to make love again.

The two girls are back together and stronger than ever. Only time will tell how unbreakable their bond really is.