Guardians
Their kisses last for a few more minutes before Jake lightly knocks on the door saying breakfast is ready. Lexa jumps off the bed nervously and Clarke laughs. Lexa looks at Clarke’s swollen lips and bites her own in arousal. She can’t believe Clarke Griffin kissed her. Her body is floating. Her world might be turning upside down but at least she has Clarke by her side. It’s weird, having someone to lean on other than Laurel. But it’s not a bad weird. Lexa doesn’t like to be vulnerable in front of others. She doesn’t like to see that look of pity in their eyes. But Clarke doesn’t pity her. Clarke understands her and supports her and that’s all she could ever ask for.
Breakfast is quiet. Jake knows these two girls are head over heels in love. He’s just not sure if they know it yet. He’s pretty sure Clarke would tell him if Lexa and her were dating. Lexa would still be allowed to stay over..with the door open of course. For now, he’ll let them figure it out on their own.
Lexa is grateful that Jake isn’t hovering over her, constantly asking if she’s okay. There’s light conversation but it’s nothing about her father. They all happily eat their blueberry pancakes and turkey bacon. It’s like a little family. Clarke and Lexa finish their plates and hurry upstairs.
Lexa checks her phone for the first time since storming out and it’s filled with messages from Laurel.
2 missed calls from Laurel
From Laurel - I kicked Beatrice out. She’s leaving as soon as tomorrow hopefully. Please come back Lex.
From Laurel - We need to get in contact with the lawyer’s soon. You’re only 17 and Beatrice is still your guardian. Call me so we can figure this all out.
From Laurel - At least tell me you’re okay. You’re always going to be my sister Lexa. Please I’m here for you.
1 missed call from Laurel
From Laurel - Where are you? Are you at Clarke’s? She’s not answering her phone either.
From Laurel - I’m getting really worried here. Answer Lex! I’m going out of my mind with worry.
From Laurel - I know you need your space. I get that. But I need to know you’re safe and not in a ditch somewhere. I’m so close to calling the cops Lexa. You can’t just run off and not answer all night.
Lexa instantly feels immense guilt for not texting Laurel that she’s alright. She wasn’t even thinking about how worried her sister would be about her. Damn her phone for being on vibrate. She’s just about to dial her sister back when it pops up that she has an incoming call from Laurel.
“Hey Laurel.” Lexa sheepishly says.
“Lex?! Jesus, where are you?” Laurel hisses into the phone, worry can be heard in her voice.
“I’m so sorry. I’m at Clarke’s. I wasn’t looking at my phone and I fell asleep. I just...I - I..”
“It’s okay. I didn’t mean to go all crazy overprotective sister on you but you were upset and I know how you get sometimes when you’re overloaded with emotions. I just wanted to make sure you were okay...are you okay?” Laurel rambles anxiously.
“I’m better now. Clarke has been great.” Lexa says with a smile and looks over at the blushing blonde looking at her from across the room.
“That’s..that’s really good Lex. I’m glad you’re embracing how you feel about her.” Laurel’s voice is much calmer now that she knows her sister is okay.
“Me too.” Lexa continues smiling and Clarke. There’s a pause in conversation for a moment.
“Did you open your folder yet?” Laurel says quietly.
“No..have you?” Lexa tenses up at the question as it brings her out of her Clarke Griffin love bubble and back to reality.
“Yes. There’s a lot of legal jargon. But basically it says that once we are 18, we get our shares of the house, the unused plots, and the company. We won’t get our heritages until we are thirty though. So I am already legally entitled to my shares but not the heritage. You have to wait one more year for your shares. Until then, you need a guardian to oversee your account. Don’t worry though, you get to choose who oversees the account. It won’t be Beatrice and it can’t be me. The guardian has to be over 21. Do you have anyone in mind?”
“Yeah. I think I might. Can I call you back?” Lexa asks.
“Of course Lex. You can come back whenever you’re ready.” Laurel says gently.
“I know. I’ll come back once Beatrice is gone. I love you.” Lexa says softly.
“I love you too.”
Lexa sits down on the bed and Clarke moves to sit next to her. Lexa has her folder in her hand. She looks hesitant to open it. Clarke slips her hand in Lexa’s and Lexa smiles.
“Laurel said I have to choose a guardian to oversee my accounts until I turn 18. I don’t really know any adults.” Lexa says unsurely and Clarke looks at her understandingly. “I was thinking um maybe..Jake could be my guardian? Not like my legal guardian. He would just be in charge of my shares until I turn 18. He won’t even really have to do anything I don’t think. I just...I can’t have Beatrice in charge of my shares. She will try to scheme a way to take it all for herself.” Lexa rambles nervously.
“I think Dad would do it. He loves you Lexa. You just have to ask him.” Clarke says tenderly, tucking a stray piece of hair behind Lexa’s ear. Lexa melts into the simple display of affection.
“Thank you Clarke.” Lexa says lovingly.
“For tucking a piece of hair behind your hair?” Clarke teases and Lexa just looks at her with even more awe, ignoring the joke.
“For being you.” Lexa says quietly. Clarke’s eyes widen in shock but then she smiles. She puts her forehead against Lexa’s.
“Thank you for being you too.” Clarke says with a soft smile on her face. Lexa closes her eyes and just enjoys the moment.
A little later, Lexa opens her letter from her Dad when Clarke is in the shower. Jake just went out for a run so it’s just the two of them in the house. Lexa takes a deep breath and opens the letter addressed to ‘My dearest Alexandria.’
Alexandria,
I know I have failed you time and time again in this life. I know I was not there for you when I should have been. I know I should have protected you from Beatrice. I have no excuse for my shortcomings as a father. You were an innocent child who deserved only love and kindness. Instead you got the wrath of a woman I scorned long ago, a woman you grew up calling your mother.
There is no easy way to lessen the blow of what I am about to tell you, so I will just be blunt. Beatrice is not your biological mother. The mother who gave birth to you, the mother on your birth certificate, is Olivia Moore. We met and instantly, I had fallen for her. We had a whirlwind affair.
Beatrice and I had just moved to New York. I was 35 and Beatrice was 31. We had been married for 7 years already. Beatrice was always a cold woman. We married because our fathers were old golf partners and it seemed like a sensible arrangement. I came to realize much later that I had very little sense to agree to such a loveless marriage.
It’s no secret that Beatrice and I had affairs. As long as it was kept under wraps, we never questioned each other. It was an unspoken agreement. And one of the rules of this unspoken understanding was that we never fall in love with our lovers. It would have made things much too messy. I, however, broke that rule when I fell in love with your mother.
Olivia was working towards getting her degree in nursing at a local city college when I met her. She was 20 years old. I went to her college to give a guest lecture on business management. We met in the cafeteria. Her eyes were kind and the brightest of greens, just like yours. It pains me to say that I could never look you in the eyes because of the similarity.
We talked and talked until the cafeteria closed that night. I would go to see her as much as I could. She was hesitant since I was married, but I assured her it was a loveless marriage. Weeks later, our affair begun. I found out a few months later that she worked nights at a local strip club to pay for her tuition. You see Olivia was a very smart girl, a genius even. But she was also an orphan. She was in foster care since she was 10 years old. She had no funds for an education but she was hell bent on getting one. I see her fire in you sometimes. I see a lot of her in you. Perhaps that’s why I’ve been so distant. You were a reminder of how close I came to love and how far off track I’d gotten.
Of course I offered to pay for her tuition but she refused. She did not take charity. Our affair lasted about six months when I found out Beatrice was pregnant with your sister, Laurel. She broke up with me. She told me I had to put my role as a father ahead of everything else.
We didn’t talk for months. Laurel was born and I loved her as any father would. But I could never love her mother. When Laurel was a few months old, I went back to your mother. It took some time but she took me back. It was months later that she found out she was pregnant with you. No matter what Beatrice says, Olivia loved you Lexa. That’s why she gave you up.
I tried to leave Beatrice but I was a weak man. A weak man who put his wealth ahead of his love. It will always be my biggest regret, my biggest tragedy. Olivia wanted to keep you so badly. She didn’t want the life that she had in the foster care system to be yours as well. But she didn’t have money. She believed she could not give you the life you deserve. So she asked me to take you. I could never refuse. You are my daughter Lexa. Despite everything I’ve done wrong in my life, my love for you has always been true..even if I didn’t show it.
Beatrice agreed but under the condition that I never saw your mother again. And I never did. The day you were born was the last time we were together as a family. We have one picture all together and I’ve attached it to this letter. Your mother was so beautiful Lexa. You are the spitting image of her.
If you ever wish to look for her, she lives in Queens. Three years after you were born, she married a man named Kyle Bauer. She made her way through college with no help. Last I checked, she works as a nurse at Jaha Memorial. Her husband works there as well as an anesthesiologist. That’s all I know. I used to check in on your mother all the time, but once she got married I knew it wasn’t my place anymore. I never stopped loving your mother, Lexa. But I failed her time and time again every time I failed you. I do hope you choose to meet her one day, when you’re ready.
I know you think love is weakness, and perhaps that is my fault. I used to think the same thing and look where I am because of my foolish belief. Don’t fall into the same trap as I did. Love is beautiful and it’s strong. Embrace it my little Lexa. You deserve the world. You deserve so much more than I ever gave to you. You deserve to feel true happiness. And I hope more than anything that one day, you find it.
With my sincerest of regrets and deepest love,
Charles Woods
Tears fall from Lexa’s eyes and onto her father’s last words to her. She shakily looks at the picture and sees her mother for the first time. Her hair is a little lighter but her eyes are Lexa’s. Her smile is wide yet sad as she looks at the little bundle in her arms. Charles is kissing her temple with one his arms around her. It looks so sad. They both knew this was the last time they’d be together. Lexa cries a little until she hears Clarke’s shower turn off.
She hastily gets up and paces for a minute. Lexa decides she needs to go now. She needs the truth now. She’s going to New York. Tonight.