Clearing the Air
Lexa drives straight home. She needs to clear the air. She needs to know for sure whether or not she has no chance with Clarke. Lexa walks through the door and Octavia and Lincoln are sitting watching a movie in the front room. No sign of Clarke or Laurel. Her throat tightens a tad when she comes to that realization.
“Lex! Thank god you’re back. We were worried sick.” Lincoln sighs with relief.
“Where’s Clarke and Laurel?” Lexa asks nervously. She really hates all this feeling shit. Lincoln looks at her knowingly and so does Octavia. She guesses that Lincoln probably told Octavia after her little outburst.
“They went looking for you.” Octavia supplies and Lexa’s eyes widen. She never thought Clarke cared enough to go looking for her. She never thought anyone but Laurel would do that. But Clarke is with Laurel. Maybe she’s just trying to be a supportive girlfriend and help find her girlfriend’s troubled sister. Yeah, that’s probably it. Costia told her not to jump to conclusions so quickly though. So she’s going to try to be better, for herself and for Clarke.
“Do you know where they went?” Lexa asks.
“No. I would call them but they ran out of the house so fast that they didn’t grab their phones.” Lincoln said regretfully, hating the way Lexa’s face fell.
“After you ran out, Clarke told us that her and Laurel didn’t sleep together.” Octavia says, trying to cheer up Lexa. Lexa looks at her plainly, attempting to cover up for immense relief.
“Really?” Lexa says, a little dazed.
“Yeah. They -” Octavia is cut off by the door opening, revealing Laurel and Clarke.
Clarke is still in Laurel’s clothes and it drives Lexa up a wall. Just because they didn’t have sex doesn’t mean they didn’t hook up.
“Lexa, you’re back.” Clarke breathes out and her eyes are dancing with relief and something else Lexa can’t quite figure out.
“Yeah I had to take a ride, clear my head.” Lexa sheepishly smiles. Laurel looks at her worriedly.
“Lexa, you can’t just run off like that. I was so worried.” Laurel reprimands her and Lexa scoffs.
“I just needed to clear my head okay?” Lexa says again, only this time with a little more attitude. Clarke, Octavia, and Lincoln look at each other and realize that this is a sisterly moment.
“I think it’s time we leave. Thank you guys for throwing the party. We love you.” Octavia hugs them both and so does Lincoln. Clarke follows and hugs Laurel, leaving Lexa fuming. Clarke awkwardly stares at Lexa for a second before relenting and opening her arms. She hugs Lexa and the basketball player breathes in her scent and closes her eyes. Laurel looks at the two girls who so obviously like eachother and shakes her head. How did she not see this sooner? It's so obvious.
“If you ever need to talk about anything, I’ll be here for you.” Clarke whispers in Lexa’s ear and the basketball player shudders at the blonde's kind words. They all leave and Lexa and Laurel are left alone.
“Lexa, nothing happened between Clarke and I.” Laurel states softly once the door closes behind their friends. Lexa looks at her with a frown and shakes her head.
“I don’t care what you do with Clarke.” Lexa snaps and Laurel sighs.
“Yes you do. You’ve never once lied to me. Why are you starting now?” Laurel probes gently. She knows Lexa hates discussing her feelings. Their parents really did a number on her.
Lexa deeply exhales and starts pacing again, clearly a nervous habit of hers. Lexa grows frustrated that she can’t convey her emotions ever.
“Because I…” Lexa snaps and then deflates quickly. “I..just ugh..why is this so hard?" Lexa pauses again and Laurel patiently waits for her sister to continue. "Clarke would never want me when she could have you.” Lexa quietly says and sits on the floor.
“Oh Lexa no.” Laurel sits next to her and wipes away the one tear Lexa allows to fall. Laurel opens her arms and Lexa falls into the hug.
“Don’t you ever listen to the bullshit Mom drilled in your head as a kid. You’re amazing Lex. Stop thinking I’m better than you. It couldn’t be farther from the truth.” Laurel murmurs into Lexa’s hair as she hugs her closer. Lexa stays silent but she nods.
“I’m telling you Clarke and I are just friends. You do trust me right?” Laurel pulls Lexa’s chin up so she’s looking at her.
“I trust you Laurel. But you two both had hickeys on your neck and I..you two are always together.” Lexa mumbles. She just feels stupid now. Laurel keeps telling Lexa that her and Clarke aren’t a thing and she trusts her sister’s word. But then who gave Clarke the hickey? Her stomach twists at the thought of anyone kissing her Clarke. Did she just say her? Lexa shakes her head from the thought.
“Luna was at the party last night.” Laurel says quietly and Lexa looks up at her with wide eyes.
And..are you two back together?” Lexa asks hopefully. Luna always made Laurel happy. Laurel was so in love with her.
“No.” Laurel mumbles and Lexa can tell she clearly feels uncomfortable. “We had sex. I thought she…” Laurel shakes her head. “Well it doesn’t matter what I thought, she’s not interested in doing long distance.”
“I’m so sorry. She’s a massive bitch. She doesn’t deserve you.” Lexa firmly states and Laurel laughs lightly.
“She’s not a ‘massive bitch,’ Lex. She just doesn’t want to be with me anymore and that’s ok. We never really ended things. There was no finality in it. But now there is. I’m okay. I really am.” Laurel softly smiles but her eyes are a little sad.
“Laurel...you know it's okay to be upset. You're allowed.” Lexa says gently and Laurel nods.
“I know, I know. And I really am okay now. But last night I was a bit of a wreck. And that’s when I ran into Clarke.” Laurel says delicately, trying to gauge Lexa’s reaction to the mention of the blonde. Lexa tenses up.
“She was pretty upset last night too. She wouldn’t tell me about what though. Something got her angry.” Laurel looks at her sister wondering if she’s what got Clarke so worked up.
“S-she was angry?” Lexa asks cautiously. Could she be mad at Lexa for running away from their explosive kiss? Did she see her with Costia? No. Clarke wouldn’t be angry about that because that would mean Clarke has feelings for her too. And that’s just impossible.
“Yeah she was. Look Lex, you should have seen how worried she was when you ran off today. She really cares about you. Don’t shut her out.” Laurel smiles at Lexa and Lexa looks down at her feet insecurely.
“She deserves better than me.” Lexa mumbles defeatedly, while nervously playing with her hands.
“Please stop with that. If only you saw yourself how I see you, how Clarke sees you.”
“How do you know how Clarke sees me?” Lexa asks suspiciously.
“Last night I started piecing it together. All your longing stares. How you get especially snappy whenever Clarke came over. You brought that girl Mercedes over every day and that’s excessive ever for you. You were trying to cope the only way you know how. And then last night, Clarke was drunk and she let it slip that she saw you and Costia kissing. She said it with such venom. She passed out right after that. Then this morning you ran off after Octavia suggested that we slept together. Clarke was so upset, I could tell. The way both of your eyes lit up when you saw each other told me all I needed to know. I feel like an oblivious idiot for not realizing it sooner. It's rather obvious.” Laurel took a big breath after explaining her theory to Lexa. Laurel’s disappointed she didn’t see it sooner. I mean, admittedly, there was a few days where she thought her and Clarke could have something. But that past as soon as she realized Clarke and her were better off as friends.
“You really think she was mad about Costia? I didn't even know she saw us.” Lexa asks, clearly taken aback at the theory.
“There’s a strong possibility, yeah. You should talk to her.” Laurel lightly tries to encourage her sister but Lexa shakes her head almost immediately.
“No. What about that hickey on her neck? That didn’t just magically appear.” Lexa sasses and Laurel sighs.
“No it didn’t.” Laurel hesitantly says, not wanting to reveal Clarke’s business. “Look, I didn’t say Clarke didn’t hook up with someone last night. It just wasn’t me.” Laurel watches as Lexa’s face falls.
“Who?” Lexa asks just above a whisper. Her heart is pounding in her ears.
“I..Lex, you’re gonna have to ask Clarke. But what I can tell you is that she said it was a mistake. She said she was doing it for the wrong reasons.”
“What reasons?” Lexa asks quietly.
“She said she was angry and she wasn’t thinking straight. She doesn’t regret it but she doubts it’ll happen again. There were no feelings there on either side apparently.” Laurel tries to comfort her sister but this is tricky territory. One wrong word and Lexa might go off the deep end. Lexa has never had genuine feelings for someone. She has to treat this Clarke and Lexa situation with a lot of care. If it all works out though, Laurel believes Clarke will be great for Lexa. Laurel just knows she’s going to have to get involved in this one.
“Did she have sex with this mystery person? Oh god, tell me it wasn’t Finn.” Lexa asks and shakes her head at the thought of that self entitled jerk touching her precious Clarke. Damnit, she’s gotta stop calling Clarke hers.
“No she didn’t. And no it wasn’t Finn. I’m telling you, you still have a chance. Fight for her.” Laurel says sweetly and Lexa nods.
“Maybe I will.” Lexa calmly says but inside she's freaking out. Costia was right. It’s time she starts working on herself for herself. And it wouldn’t be so bad if she would let a certain blonde in along the way. Oh if it were only that easy.