Not Even If I Had To.
While Brendon and Dallon were sleeping, Brendon had a very vivid dream.
Although, it wasn't really a dream. It was a memory.
It happened when he was 14. He walked in from school and heard his drunk dad yelling at his mom.
The last thing he heard was "We wouldn't be like this if it wasn't for that damn kid." Before his dad walked into the bathroom.
Not even a minute after the door was shut, they heard a gunshot.
When the gunshot went off in his dream, Brendon jerked awake.
He sat up in the dark, quiet room. After a minute, the voices in his head started back up.
You should have ended it sooner.
Youre such a fuckup that your dad took his own life rather than deal with you.
Its not too late you know.
"Shut. Up." Brendon mumbled through gritted teeth.
I'm not trying to make you angry.
Listen to me Brendon, you still have time.
You have several options on how you want to die.
Pills, razors, a bullet.
"I said to stop."
The voices were now screaming at him.
HELP EVERYONE AND END IT ALREADY.
ITS BEST FOR EVERYONE.
IM TRYING TO HELP YOU.
"STOP!" Brendon yelled at the top of his lungs, throwing his hands over his ears.
By now Brendon was sobbing and Dallon was awake.
Dallon pulled Brendon closer to him. "Hey, hey shh. It was only a dream."
"But it wasn't a dream! It happened and the voices in my head won't let me forget it! Everything was my fault! I should have listened to the voices and killed myself already!"
Brendon was now shaking and holding on to Dallon, crying into his chest.
Dallon moved the hair out of Brendon's eyes so he could look at him.
"I want you to listen to me okay? I never want you to say that. I don't care who tells you that you deserve to die, don't listen to them."
"B-but I do! I've already cause one person to die and I'm just gonna cause more! Everyone would be better off without me."
"Hey, that's not true. All of your friends would be very upset if you took your life. And I... I don't know what I'd do. I've only just met you and I already know that I couldn't live without you."
Brendon looked up at Dallon with wide eyes. "R-really..?"
Dallon smiled. "Yeah. Brendon you are amazing. You are nice, funny, talented, adorable, and honestly I could go on for hours."
Brendon smiled and blushed.
"Awe. There's the little blush." Brendon laughed and yawned.
Dallon kissed his head. "You should probably lay back down. You look exhausted."
Brendon looked at Dallon with sad eyes, but layed down. "Hey, I'll be right here when you wake up." "Okay."
After Brendon fell asleep, Dallon walked into Melanie's little kitchen area and noticed she was gone. There was a note.
Hey I had run to Hals' homework to her. I didn't want to wake you guys up. I'll be back soon.
~Mel
Dallon dialed Melanie's number
"Hello?"
"Hey Melanie.."
"Oh hey Dallon."
"Hey um I have a question. It's kinda personal but I really need to know.."
"Okay, what's up?"
"Does Brendon have severe anxiety, depression, schizophrenic, anything like that?"
He noticed Melanie sigh sadly
"He had an episode didn't he..?"
"if that's what it is, then yeah."
"Listen I'm so sorry. I never thought about that or I wouldn't have left you without warning you."
"No it's fine. I got him calmed back down. Is everything okay? I'd be lying if I said I wasn't concerned..?"
"Well, id usually let him tell you on his terms, but I can tell that you are genuinely worried. When he was 14 his dad shot himself and his last words were basically blaming Brendon. And Brendon stood by and watched it all."
"And that's the voices that tells him he deserves it..."
"Yeah... To make things worse, he dated this guy named Ryan in high school. Well Ryan got pissed really easily. He broke up with Brendon without any explanation and was kind of an asshole about it and that caused Brendon to go through a bad episode. That's why when he heard that Ryan goes to Parkway, his first instinct was to punch the wall... Not his most thought out move..."
Dallon wanted to cry himself. He just seen the boy who he instantly fell in love with his big eyes and bright smile fall completely apart due do something he couldn't even imagine.
He suddenly just wanted to cover Brendon in innocent yet love filled kisses and tell him that nothing would ever hurt him again.
But he couldn't, because he knew that he couldn't make the voices go completely silent.
But he would sure as hell try.
"Well... Thanks for telling me. So is it more of a trauma thing or...?"
"pretty much. He already had anxiety then his dad, then Ryan. He's pretty fucked up, yet he seems to always be the happy little Brendon. I don't know how he does it. He's strong."
"That's for sure.."
"Well, I'm gonna send Patrick your way. He's used to helping Tyler ever since they was little. Tyler has something very similar."
"Okay. Thanks Melanie."
"No problem. Oh, Dallon?"
"Yeah?"
"...Don't hurt the kid.."
"Hurt him?" Dallon peeked in where the Brendon was sleeping peacefully. "Not even if I had to."
Melanie was certain Dallon was smiling. And she was right.