Chapter 11
Clarke made her way to the kitchen in order to get herself something else to drink since she’d drank pretty much everything she was offered during the Never have I ever game. Thank you, Bellamy. She made a mental note: never play with him again, he always managed to ask the right questions and both him and Clarke would get drunk. She hadn’t expected the room to be as crowded as it was, she’d hoped everyone would already be wasted or crying on someone else’s shoulder, or having sex. Or all those things at the same time. She tripped on a girl who was sitting on the floor’s leg, causing the world to spin around her, and the only reason she didn’t fell was a strong arm that held her up on time. Clarke lifted her head to see who her savior was, but she must’ve done so too quickly for her inebriated brain, since she had to blink for a few seconds to regain her balance. She finally managed to say something.
“Thank you” she kept holding onto the girl’s arm when Lexa shyly smiled at her
“You’re drunk.” it wasn’t a question.
Clarke furrowed her brow, trying to figure out how much she’d already had to drink, it wasn’t really that much. Or maybe it was. She wasn’t sure. She shook her head slowly.
“I’m fine”
Lexa raised an eyebrow. She couldn’t really tell what Clarke had just said, so she hoped it wasn’t too important.
“Clarke, do you wanna go with someone? A friend or something?”
Clarke shook her head again, this time more firmly
“Okay” Lexa started walking, dragging Clarke with her “let’s sit down for a minute”
Clarke half sat half threw herself on the couch by Lexa’s side. She closed her eyes for a second, focusing on everything she was feeling at the moment. Cold air entered through one of the windows, refreshing the stuffy atmosphere. The leather of the couch was rough, and the floor vibrated with every beat of the loud music. The cold air contrasted with the warmth of Lexa’s body by her side. She had been resting her head on what she thought was the back of the sofa but realized was the other girl’s arm when she moved, clearly worried about Clarke, and put an ice cube on the back of her neck. The effect was almost immediate.
“WHOA” Clarke almost jumped in shock, she still had blurry vision, but her dizziness had gone away. She cleared her throat “I mean, thank you, that was really helpful” while talking, she’d unconsciously made a gesture with her hand that had covered her mouth, Lexa’s confused expression made her notice.
“Thank you” she mouthed exaggeratedly, causing Lexa to hold back her laughter. Clarke was the confused one this time.
“You don’t really have to do..” she pointed at her own mouth “it’s enough for me to understand if you speak clearly, I couldn’t understand before because you were slurring, but you speak well”
“You speak really well too” Clarke blurted out, blushing “you know, like, you sound…okay you don’t know how you sound…like, I wouldn’t have noticed you were deaf…is it rude to ask if you were born deaf? Because you speak like really normal…” she was blushing more with every second that passed “not that deaf people are not normal…I mean, of course you…”
Lexa smiled widely “You’ve got a serious case of verbal diarrhea”
Clarke nodded, visibly embarrassed by her own social awkwardness.
“It’s nice knowing someone who talks about it instead of pitying me, though”
For the first time, they looked at each other in the eye and didn’t look away.
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Octavia had been holding Raven for a few minutes before she let go
“Shit, I’m sorry” Raven’s mascara had proven not to be as waterproof as it was supposed to be, staining Octavia’s neck, which she tried to clean before even caring to look at herself on a mirror. She thought about how terrible she must look, puffy eyes, her ruined mascara and always messy hair, and yet O looked at her as she always did. That look. Raven would kill for seeing it every day.
“Raven, never mind” she stubbornly kept on “Rae, I’ll survive with a bit of extra makeup, seriously” Octavia put her hand on the other girl’s cheek and softly removed the now messed up mascara with her thumb. She repeated the motion several times, determined to make Raven look as she hadn’t been crying at all.
“I screwed it up.”
Octavia stopped for a second “What do you mean?”
“Me and Sam. I couldn't go with her to Europe and we didn't think we’d be able to be in a long-distance relationship for who knows how long. She offered to stay, she’d have entered Juilliard, we could’ve studied together. And I told her not to, I mean, it would’ve meant giving up everything she’d been studying for, fighting for, her entire life, so I told her she should go for it. To follow her dreams or whatever, instead of staying for a her high school sweetheart.” she said the last part bitterly as her breaths became more and more ragged “It was my fault”
“Rae,” Octavia held her face firmly between her hands “you did the right thing.”
Raven nodded while trying to stop herself from crying again, or worse. Then Octavia kissed her. It was tender and soft, and completely different from every other kiss they’d shared before. Raven was the one to break the kiss.
“I thought you didn’t want to…”
“Shut up, Raven” Octavia sighed as they kissed again.