Intro
Gerard closes the door behind him with a soft thud, throwing himself face down in the tiny bed that dominates his tiny apartment, and half-sighing half-yelling into the pillow. He squirmed around to instead face the ceiling and ponder whether he could spend the rest of his life in this position. Technically he could, it just would be a very short life. He shut his eyes and started running through the mental check list of jobs- the ones he didn't even bother trying to apply to, the that were a possibility, and the ones he'd already been fired from. To his chagrin, the last two columns were growing shorter and larger respectively.
I'm surprised I lasted three months at this one, he thought and raised a surprised eyebrow at himself. Well, guess it's time to slack off for a while. This time I'm going to work on myself, write my comic, maybe even take a trip! He grinned, but it was quickly banished when he thought of the dwindling funds in his bank account. He busied himself answering the phone that had started vibrating in his pocket amidst his self-pity party.
“Heard you got sacked,” the voice on the other end bolted out without a greeting. Gerard sighed.
“Ever the most compassionate person, aren't you Bert?”
“Hey, it's not my fault you can't keep Lil Gee inside his cage around hot young things,” Bert snickered out.
“You make me sound like some kind of pervert flashing everyone in sight,” Gerard huffed. “I don't even have a trench coat, and you know I can't grow a moustache, let alone a pervy one”
Laughter greeted him on the other end, “That so isn't the point. Anyway, I come bearing good news for you. I got you a job.”
“I've literally been fired for 3 hours,” Gerard furrowed his eyebrows.
“Kinda saw it coming.”
“Again, your faith in me is earth shattering.”
“I have faith in you. But having the hormone levels of a teenage boy makes you kinda predictable.”
Gerard sighed, “what job is it?”
“Nothing too straining, just helping out at the shop.”
“Pass”
“Dude, you were probably just moping around and thinking about doing art but actually just procrastinating everything. C'mon, we really need the help! And it's not like you don't know this place like the back of your hand, it's like a match made in heaven.”
“A disastrous mismatch. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it'd be for me if I got fired from there for getting an awkward boner like an eight grader with a school crush because some cute guy's shirt rode up trying to reach a book on a high shelf? Or, something like that”
Bert's low whistle crackled on the speaker of Gerard's shitty phone. “That is a very intricate scenario.”
“Still possible.”
“If you're that worried just wank it before you come to work and you should be good. Besides, we don't even get that much eye candy around here.”
“I dunno, man...”
“C'moooooooon, you know this is probably going to be the best job you'll ever have. Besides, it doesn't have to be forever, just until we find someone else permanently. Please, Gee?” Bert pleaded in a very sweet tone.
“Ugh, fine, I'll do it. Just never speak like that again,” Gerard shuddered, shivers running down his back. “Creeps me the fuck out.”
“See you tomorrow at 10,” Bert hung up with a chuckle.