Spring Breakdown
Somewhere on the Celestial Ocean, a colorful cruise ship (the USS Minnow) sailed along, filled to the brim with equally colorful pastel teenagers. For most of Canterlot High’s student body, the cruise was an opportunity to simply relax after a long school year, but for Gemini Shadow and her friends; it was a chance to not worry about the various magical catastrophes that had occurred since a particular Fall Formal. Now they could relax and simply be eight ordinary teenage girls. Or so they thought.
On the top deck of the Minnow, Twilight Sparkle read from a brochure: “Welcome aboard the USS Minnow, where you'll set sail for a full week of luxurious luxuriating on our most deluxe luxury liner!”
“Sounds luxurious,” purred Adagio Dazzle. “I haven’t been on a boat like this since the Mary Celeste.”
Sonata Dusk bounced over, her ponytail swishing behind her as she jumped. “Dagidagidagidagi! Did you see there's a petting zoo onboard?!”
Aria Blaze smirked. “You’re going to use your geode powers on the animals, aren’t you Tortilla Breath?”
“Well, duh!” Sonata replied. “I’m like a female Dr. Dolittle! Why wouldn’t I?!”
“What else does the ship have, Twilight?” Gemini Shadow asked, smiling at her friend.
Twilight peered at the brochure again. “Well, it’s got an all-you-can-eat buffet you can... eat all you can eat at?”
Sonata gasped. “PLEASE TELL ME IT HAS MEXICOLTIAN FOOD!”
“As far as I can tell, it does,” said Sunset, grinning.
Sonata cheered, throwing a sky-blue fist into the air. “Twilight, this cruise has everything! And a moving floor!” The floor did indeed move about a bit thanks to the waves, but with how large the ship was, this was hard to notice.
Nonetheless, that hardly stopped Emerald Wave from leaning over the edge of the railing, gripping it for dear life. “I think I may have forgotten to pack my sea legs…”
“Thank you for organizing this trip, Twilight,” Sunset said, giving Twilight a gentle squeeze.
Twilight blushed, “It’s no problem, Sunset. And it wasn’t just me, Gem helped too!”
“Father knows the owner of the Lux travel company,” Gem added. “It’s thanks to him we were able to get discount tickets for the entire senior class!”
Raven smirked. “I’ve gotta hand it to ya, you really have an eye for climactic battle settings!”
“Huh?” said the other seven girls in unison.
Raven pulled Gem close, throwing an arm around her shoulders as she painted a picture of a dramatic battle scene. “Imagine, going head to head with a sea monster by the pool! Ka-chow! Evil Equestrian magic fills up the diving pool! The boat's sinking! Everyone's screaming! And then we save the day! The sea monster becomes our friend! Best spring break ever!”
There was a very long pause, then Sunset said: Or we could do... not that.”
Twilight nodded in agreement. “I was hoping we could do something without having to battle Equestrian magic for a change,” she said. “Not that having magical powers isn’t fun and all, but with all the stuff that’s happened since Emerald and I transferred to CHS, it would be nice if we could just relax for a little while.”
“We couldn't even spend the day at a movie set or the mall without creating a calamity,” Emerald added.
“Which we then uncalaminated, like literal awesome superheroes!” Raven exclaimed.
Another pause, broken by Gem giving Twilight a hug too. “Twilight, this is a most deserved respite. We're all very thankful for the chance to relax and do absolutely nothing.” Her phone buzzed, and she grinned, checking it. “Well, well, well! We're in international waters! And you know what that means?! Tax-free shopping!” She grinned. “To the ship’s mall!”
And so the group broke up, retreating to separate activities. All except for Raven, who silently vowed to search for magic wherever she could find it.
Unfortunately, finding Equestrian magic turned out to be a lot harder than Raven anticipated, leading to a series of disasters that ended in about half the group receiving lifetime bans from one part of the ship or another. Annoyed and frustrated, the seven other girls gathered in Gem’s cabin to talk things over.
“My whole life, I've been taught that you could only berry blast a butter biscuit on a bundt cake with two layers of chocolate!” Sonata began. “But this afternoon, I saw the truth. The buffet has a Triple Choco-Berry Blasted Butter Biscuit Bundt Cake!”
“How was it?” Twilight asked.
“I don't know!” exclaimed Sonata, “'Cause Raven got me banned from the buffet!”
“She got me banned from the petting zoo,” added Adagio, “When she mistook one of the rabbits for the one from that comedy movie about King Arthur and the Holy Grail.”
“The one with the coconuts imitating horse hooves?” Emerald asked.
Adagio nodded. “That’s the one, alright. The proprietress wasn’t exactly amused.”
“But you're still having fun. Right?” Twilight asked, frowning. At this, the rest of the girls shook their heads, and Twilight sighed, looking down at her shoes. “I’m sorry, everyone...”
“Don’t beat yourself up, Sparks,” said Emerald, kissing her girlfriend on the cheek. “Not your fault Raven is a glory hog.”
On cue, the aforementioned glory hog ran into the cabin. “Hey, gang! Sorry I'm late!” she said. “Did I miss much?”
There was an awkward pause. Finally, Gem said haltingly: “Um… a bit, I’m afraid. And some of it pertains to you.”
“Really? How much?” Raven asked.
“Raven, can I talk to you for a second?” Sunset said suddenly. “Alone?”
“Sure,” said Raven, going back out into the hall.
Sunset followed, and led Raven to her own cabin, which she shared with Aria (to keep her and Sonata from arguing all the time). Once they were sure they were alone, she began to speak. “Look… Gem and Twilight worked really hard to plan this trip for all of us, and... Ugh, how can I say this without being mean?”
“Just say it! I can take it!” said Raven confidently.
Sunset sighed, and let loose. “You're ruining it for everypony!”
Raven’s confident expression abruptly fell. “Ouch! Sheesh, Sunset, your words just punched my feelings!”
“You said you could take it,” Sunset pointed out, placing a hand on the purple girl’s shoulder. “Just stop looking for a problem when there isn't one. How's that?” she said in a kinder tone.
Raven nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good to me.” Then something else Sunset said finally registered. “Uh, speaking of problems that aren’t there, did you know you just said ‘everypony’?”
Sunset blinked a few times. “I did? When?”
“When you said I was ruining the vacation for everypony, you said ‘everypony’ instead of… everypony…” Raven trailed off. “Now I’m doing it! What’s going on here?!”
“I don’t know, but we should probably find out,” Sunset replied. “But first? I need you to apologize to… well, everyone, but especially Gem and Twilight.”
Raven gave her a thumbs-up. “Can do!”
Back in Gem’s cabin, the rest of the girls had moved on to other topics. “So Gem, what did you get from the mall?” Adagio asked.
“Mainly souvenirs,” replied Gem, sifting through the bags she’d gotten from the store. “Some starfish pillows, a fetching pair of sunglasses, some seashell keychains, a few new tops, a new mane brush…” She kept pulling out random tchotchkes, much to Adagio’s increasing shock.
“So Sparks, what are you doing tonight?” asked Emerald.
“The same thing I do every night, Emmy,” Twilight answered, then they both said in unison: “TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!”
Sonata looked over in surprise. “For realsies?!”
Twilight laughed, “Not really, Sonata. I’m probably just going to spend the night looking over some new scientific projects I’m working on, I want to take another look at magi-tech.”
“Magi-tech?” echoed Sonata. “What’s that?”
“Magical technology,” Twilight explained. “That is, technology that runs on Equestrian magic. My last experiment with it went… well, poorly, as we all know, but I think now that I’ve had more experience with magic for myself, I’ll be able to build things that can benefit everypony!”
Emerald paused. “Did you just say ‘everypony?’”
Twilight blinked, and mentally rewound the conversation. “I suppose I did,” she admitted. “That’s weird… I wonder how I didn’t notice…”
Just then, the cabin door opened and Raven came in, looking apologetic. “Gem? Twilight? And I guess… everyone? I wanna apologize for how I’ve been acting… with how crazy everything’s been since the movie set incident, I guess I kinda got hung up on being a magical superhero. I didn’t mean to ruin everypony else’s fun.” A pause. “Oh, and I’m talking weird too, so there’s that.”
“Apology accepted, darling,” Gem said, getting up to give her girlfriend a hug. “Though yes, the changing speech patterns are a cause for concern… does anypony, I mean, anyone have any theories they’d like to share?”
“I might have something,” said Twilight, taking a device out of the pocket of her dress. It looked a lot like the old spectrometer. “Ever since the movie set incident, I built a background magic detector that pairs with a custom smartphone app I wrote. If the background thaumic level increases beyond an established baseline, the detector will send a signal to my phone, which will then receive a notification from the app telling me when the increase occurred, where it happened, and by how much.”
On cue, her phone made a pinging noise, and she checked the screen. She blanched. “…Oh.”
“Oh?” Emerald frowned. “I sure hope this is good news, Sparks.”
“It’s not,” Twilight replied. “According to this, thaumic level of the boat has increased by 10% in the last five minutes or so.”
“…And?” Aria prompted.
Twilight gulped. “It’s rising.”
“Oh,” said Sunset flatly. “Buck.”
As the hours went by, the magic’s hold over the eight girls only continued to increase. By the time dinner ended, they’d started referring to themselves as ponies rather than humans, and the ears, tails, wings, and horns they got when using magic became permanent. Luckily however, it seemed they were the only ones so affected, no one else had manifested similar symptoms.
But that wasn’t the only problem. A storm had brewed while they traveled, and now the sky above them was filled with dark clouds. Lightning struck, thunder crashed, and the water below churned furiously. The staff ordered everyone to stay belowdecks, and for a little while it seemed like everything would be alright. That was when the power blew. The engine died, and the cruise ship stopped in the middle of the ocean, unable to move.
Sitting in the darkness of Gem’s cabin, the eight friends tried to stay cheerful. Twilight grinned widely. “Come on, girls! Let's not let a little thing like a total mechanical and electrical failure ruin our fun!” She got up. “Maybe I’ll go help the crew of the ship!”
“Sparks, these folks are trained professionals, and you’re a teenage girl,” Emerald pointed out. “The smartest teenage girl in two dimensions, sure, but come on. Ya gotta know when to let the big ponies do their jobs, right?”
“But they don’t have Equestrian magic on their side, or my scientific knowledge!” Twilight replied. “I can do this!” And before any of them could stop her, she ran from the room and down the hall.
Emerald heaved a sigh. “Hey Gem, why is it scientific geniuses are always so bucking crazy?”
Gem shrugged. “To make life more interesting for the rest of us, I suppose.” She leaned back. “Girls, right now I’d suggest returning to your cabins and trying to get some sleep, I’m sure Twilight and the engineering crew have things well in hoof.”
“What a mess! Did you even read the 600-page online emergency handbook?!” exclaimed an astounded Twilight to the engineering crew. “It’s a good thing I’m here! Science Mare to the rescue!” She tapped her geode and got to work, levitating tools and a manual around her head as if she were the center of a small solar system.
“Whatever you say, Captain,” said Emerald, throwing a mock salute. The rest of the girls trooped out, leaving Gem and Raven alone.
Raven sighed. “Our lives just keep getting weirder and weirder, don’t they, Gem?”
“Quite so,” Gem agreed. “Quite so.” She and Raven tucked themselves in, and soon they were both asleep.
By morning, or what passed for it, things hadn’t improved very much. Twilight had been unable to get the engines working again, so breakfast was spent in a dimly lit dining room chowing down on whatever meals the kitchen staff had been able to assemble from the non-perishables.
At the breakfast table, Sunset had news for her friends. “I think I might’ve figured out why we’re all transforming,” she began. “There’s an island up ahead.” Her horn glowed as she used her magic to show them all her phone.
Emerald read the screen. “Gilligan’s Island? Really?”
“Named for the stallion who discovered it,” Sunset answered. “It was found in 1964, and he and the people he was traveling with remained there until 1979, when they were finally rescued by the Navy.”
Emerald nodded. “Sounds like the plot of a sixties sitcom, but sure, let’s go with that. But what does this island have to do with us changing species?”
“Well, I know that with the portal to Equestria, Starswirl put on safeguards to prevent this exact situation from occurring,” Sunset replied. “Whenever something manages to overcome those safeguards, like when we had that magic leak after the Friendship Games, this starts to happen. Now we’re on a boat, traveling in the direction of a desert island, and turning into ponies. Therefore…”
“…There’s another portal to Equestria on the island,” said everyone.
Raven raised her hand. “What are we going to do about it though?”
Before Sunset or anyone else could reply, a terrible grinding and rending of metal was heard, and everyone fell off their chairs. Gingerly, they all got up and ran to the top deck, peering over the edge. What they saw was awful: a huge rip had appeared in the ship’s hull, and water was now beginning to pour through.
“That sure doesn’t look good,” said Sonata, frowning. Her ear fins drooped as she spoke.
“Indeed it doesn’t,” Gem agreed. “Twilight, Raven, Sunset, you three go down onto the island and see if you can find the portal and figure out a way to close it. The rest of us will stay here and help the crew get the passengers off the ship.” She put a hand out, and the other seven followed suit before lifting them into the air and shouting “BREAK!”
As it turned out, finding the portal was the easy part, the hard part was getting past the monstrous plants. Even with two powerful unicorns and one pegasus who was skilled at hand-to-hand combat, it was tough going.
Finally though, they managed to beat the last of the monsters and split up to look for the portal. After a while, Twilight was heard to shout, “Sunset! I think I found the portal!”
They regrouped at what looked like a patch of quicksand that had a strange golden shimmer to it. “Yup, that’s it, alright,” Sunset said, looking it over.
“On my back, girls!” Raven said. “We’ll dive in!” The two girls climbed back on, and Raven spread her wings and dove right into the portal, creating a column of light extended into the tempestuous clouds above.
Suddenly, it was dark, and they could hear the sound of rushing water. “Where are we?” Twilight asked.
“Not about to get eaten. Good enough for me,” was Raven’s answer.
“It's... more complicated than that,” Sunset said, and suddenly the area was filled with red light. Sunset was a unicorn again, for they’d completely transformed into Equestrian ponies, four hooves and all.
“Whoa…” said Raven, looking herself over.
Twilight wasn’t nearly so calm. “PONY FACE!!!” she screamed.
“Twilight! You're okay! This is supposed to happen!” said Sunset, putting her hooves on Twilight’s shoulders. It didn’t help.
“Why are we like this?!” Twilight asked. “I know we started changing back home, but I didn’t think we’d go all the way!”
“That’s just how the portals work,” Sunset said. “Like when I crossed over the first time, and I became human. Trust me, you haven’t lived until you’ve gone from being a cute little unicorn to a naked monkey with freakishly long limbs and…” She stopped, realizing the other two were glaring at her. “Right. So anyway, the portals. I thought there was only one from school to Celestia's mirror, but who knows how many there are and where they might lead?”
“While we’re here, this would be a fantastic opportunity to study the physical laws of a novel dimension,” Twilight said, beginning to get to grips with walking on four legs. “And since we’re here to figure out how to close the portal, we might as well do it where the experts are, right?”
“That’s the spirit!” Sunset beamed. “It looks like we landed in the outskirts of the Everfree forest, so we’re pretty close to Ponyville. Just follow my lead!”
“Wait!” Raven interrupted. “Is it safe for me and Twi to be out in public? I mean, I know you and Gem come to Equestria every so often, but what about us? Won't our counterparts think something is totally weird and freak?"
Sunset shook her head, "Nah. Like you said, the townsponies are used to me popping up every now and then, and Twilight's portal doesn't even crack the top twenty weirdest things that have happened here."
"I see." Twilight pushed her glasses up with the edge of a purple forehoof. "Well, it's now or never. Let's go, girls." She set off, bravely walking straight into a tree. She fell over, making a noise like a surprised goat.
"Are you okay?" Raven asked, helping Twilight to her hooves.
Twilight nodded. "Early days, steering is a bit off."
In the Castle of Friendship, Spike was standing on a tall ladder attempting to hang a new painting by the renowned artist, Saddledor Dali. Princess Twilight was watching closely, offering suggestions. "A little higher on the left, now on the right! A little more..."
Then the throne room doors opened, and Princess Twilight was distracted. "Sunset Shimmer!" she cried, galloping over and embracing the yellow unicorn in a hug. "It's wonderful to see you! What are you doing here?"
"It's a long story," admitted Sunset, scratching her head with a hoof.
Princess Twilight blinked. "Wait. How're you coming in the front door and not up from where I keep the mirror?" Then the sun came over the mountain, and it dawned on her: "You found another portal between our worlds!"
Sunset chuckled. "I guess it wasn't that long," she said to her two friends.
Sci-Twi smirked. "Oh, I like her."
Princess Twilight hugged both of the humans tight, still smiling. "Other Me! Good to see you again! And you are..." She blinked in puzzlement at Raven.
"Human Raven Sable, Gem's marefriend," Raven replied. "Nice to meetcha, PTwi."
"But you're a pegasus! Our Raven is an earth pony!" Princess Twilight exclaimed. "How can that be?"
"Well, I'm a unicorn, and you appear to be a unicorn with wings," Sci-Twi pointed out. "So it's not too hard to believe."
"Good point," said Princess Twilight, turning back to Sunset. "What about the others?"
"That's where it gets complicated," Sunset replied. "About the portal... we think it opened accidentally after Midnight Sparkle's rampage destabilized the link between Earth and Equestria. Given that, plus the sharp increase in magical events occurring all over Canterlot the last few months, it seems like the two worlds are starting to grow closer together."
"Which won't be good for the humans," Princess Twilight finished, "Because according to one of the first laws of magic, only ponies can wield it. Non-ponies who try find themselves changed." She paled. "Has that started happening already?!"
"Only to the eight of us," Sci-Twi said, "Since we've been exposed to magic more than most ponies. I mean, humans. But it might not stay that way."
"Meaning we only have a little bit of time for you three eggheads to come up with a plan before they all start sprouting fur and whinnying," Raven added. "Any ideas?"
Princess Twilight tapped her hooves together in thought. "Show me to this portal you found," she told them. "I'll be able to get a better idea of what we're dealing with if I can see it in person."
"Follow us then," said Sunset, beginning to head back the way they'd come.
About half an hour later, the four ponies trotted up to the new portal once again, with Princess Twilight flying up to get a closer look. “It’s definitely got a similar magical signature as the mirror, but it’s not secured at all, we’re lucky another group of humans didn’t find it.”
“No kidding,” Raven commented. “But what can we do to stop it, Princess? Can it be closed at all?”
Princess Twilight nodded, “Oh yes, absolutely! But it has to be done from this side. You said you found it on a deserted island, right?”
Sunset nodded. “Yes. And our boat was sinking when we left, which means before we close it off…”
“You’d have to bring everyone else here with you,” said both Twilights in unison.
“So here’s the plan,” Princess Twilight continued. “You three go back through the portal and start herding the passengers through the portal as safely as you can, I’ll go get my friends and we’ll use our own powers to seal the breach. Then, you can go home through the mirror. Sound good?”
“It sounds great!” Sunset turned to her friends. “Come on everypony, let’s do this!” And away they went.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Gem, Emerald, and the Dazzlings were busily herding the rest of the castaways onto the island. The storm had finally blown itself out, making that job easier now that they didn’t have to watch for lightning bolts. Unfortunately, being in close proximity to the portal meant their transformations had rapidly accelerated, and now magic was beginning to spread to the rest of the castaways too. Gem, Emerald, and the Dazzlings were now more pony than human, (or siren than human) while the stranded vacationers had manifested ears and tails.
Finally, Sunset, Twilight, and Raven hurried through the portal and were surprised to find they hadn’t changed back. “Uh… shouldn’t we be humans again?” Raven asked, looking herself over and frowning at one of her forehooves.
“Thank goodness you’re back!” Gem cried, cantering over. She had a full coat of fur now, plus a muzzle and hooves where her feet had been. She was also shorter, and her hands had begun to fuse into hooves too. “The magic is getting stronger the longer that portal is opened! Please tell me you found a way to fix it!”
“Well, sort of,” Sunset admitted. “But it’ll mean exposing the existence of another dimension to people who don’t go to CHS. Are we really prepared for that?”
“It’s not like we have a choice,” Twilight pointed out. “With how frequently Canterlot is hit with magical incursions, to say nothing of social media, I’m surprised we’ve been able to keep the government off our tails.”
Gem blushed. “Father has connections, and that’s all I am legally allowed to tell you. Suffice it to say, we won’t have to worry about Amareican or British officials knocking on our doors any time soon.”
Emerald pouted. “Damn, I was so hoping I’d get a visit from Mulder and Scully.”
“Anyway!” Sunset interrupted. “Girls, you know the rest of these folks are going to talk. There’ll be questions asked, this could turn out to be an inter dimensional incident.”
“It’s this, or we starve to death on an island waiting for rescue,” Aria put in. “I say we do it.”
“Then let’s get started,” said Gem, trotting back to where the other castaways were gathered.
It took some doing, but within a few hours, each and every crew member and passenger of the USS Minnow had been through the portal, instructed on how to walk on four legs, and guided through the mirror back to Canterlot to make their own ways home. Princess Twilight and the other former Element bearers used their own magic to seal the island portal, and after telling Sunset to let her know in case another one sprung up, sent her home too.
Once they arrived in Canterlot, everyone was returned to their proper human states, and the eight friends met up at Gem’s house to talk and eat take-out pizza. “So all in all, not exactly how I imagined our last spring break before graduation to go,” Raven said, looking around. “I admit that part of it was my fault.”
“Oh, don’t talk like that,” Adagio said. “If it wasn’t for you, we wouldn’t have known anything was wrong until it was too late. If anything, we should’ve listened to you a lot sooner than we did.”
“Do you think this is the last of the magical catastrophes?” Gem asked Sunset.
The ex-unicorn shook her head. “Nope… I think they’re only just beginning.” Then she smiled. “But you know what? I’m okay with that. Bringing magic to this world led me to meeting you girls, and there’s no one on Earth, or Equestria, that I’d rather be with.”
Then they all hugged, and spent the remainder of the week in their own pursuits.