Chapter XIV
"Welcome home," Anya says as she turns the key to unlock the front door of the house. She pushes the door open and takes a moment to appreciate the feeling of excitement that bubbles under her skin before walking inside.
Just like most November days it's been raining persistently all day, but the four women don't care.
Because it's moving day.
They've spent the past two weeks planning and packing and waiting impatiently for this day to arrive. It's a bit silly because the only thing that really changes is their address. Anya hasn't slept in her own apartment in months and Lexa hasn't since she moved herself and her duffle bag in at Clarke's.
But still, it's exciting as hell.
"Now we're officially roomies, all of us," Raven exclaims as she enters the door.
"Housemates," Clarke corrects her as she crosses the threshold too. "Housies?" She offers in an afterthought, a sheepish grin on her face.
"No!" Anya dismisses dryly.
"You're so old, babe." Raven teases.
Anya stares at her for a few seconds and then she sighs, shaking her head. "Dips on the left bedroom. Because I'm old."
"Yes, ma'am!" Raven and Clarke says in unison which makes Anya roll her eyes.
Lexa is the last one inside, a big grin on her face. Her eyes shifts down the hall once in a while even though she tries her hardest not to.
"Unpacking first, then piano, sis," Anya says, smiling at Lexa. She knows her little sister well enough to know what's on her mind. Lexa pouts dramatically receiving a muttered "I'm beginning to regret this" from Anya and a soft kiss on the cheek from a smiling Clarke.
Just then Lincoln and Octavia pulls up outside the house in the tiny moving truck rented for the occasion. Lincoln honks the horn once letting everyone know they're there.
The house is already furnished, so they're basically just moving their personal items and once all the boxes have been stacked into the rooms Lincoln and Octavia joins the others in the kitchen.
"This is a nice house... A reeeally nice house." Octavia says swiveling in her chair to take it all in.
"It is." Raven smiles. "And we appreciate your help moving all our crap. You should stay and celebrate with us. We're ordering pizza."
"Yeah okay, sure," Octavia answers.
"But only if Lexa promises to give us a song or two," Lincoln says nodding towards the piano and Lexa grins back at him because she was going to either way.
*
"This bed is so soft," Clarke presses her face into the pillow and sighs dreamily. Lexa can't see her face but she can easily picture the smile on Clarke's lips, dopey and content.
Clarke had entered their bedroom and thrown her fully clothed self onto the bed and is now lying on her stomach, arms and legs randomly thrown in every direction. Lexa had entered right behind her smiling at Clarke's antics, following her onto the bed but in a more subtle manner.
Lexa straddles Clarke's waist, her hands finding Clarke's shoulders. As she begins massaging her softly Clarke immediately responds with a happy moan.
"God, I love you," Clarke's voice is muffled against the pillow but Lexa hears it loud and clear and so she leans forward to leave a soft kiss on Clarke's shoulder. Lexa straightens back up and continues the back rub. Within five minutes Clarke is like butter underneath her and Lexa is pretty sure she'd find Clarke drooling if she checked.
"What are you drawing?" Lexa has stopped the massage in turn for drawing things in Clarke's back with her index finger.
"Guess," Lexa says.
It makes Clarke smile.
"Alright..." Clarke closes her eyes to concentrate on Lexa's touch as she draws an easily guessed symbol on her back.
"A heart," Clarke guesses.
"Love," Lexa agrees.
"Lex?" Clarke opens her eyes again and when Lexa stops moving her finger Clarke moves to twist underneath, now lying on her back looking up at Lexa. She entwines her fingers with Lexa's right hand and places a kiss on the index finger Lexa had used to draw on her back. "Do you only use your voice around me?"
Lexa nods thoughtfully, carefully as if she's sharing a big secret for the first time and she's not sure how people are going to respond to it.
"Why?" Clarke watches Lexa closely as her gaze drops, blinking a few times.
The thing is, Lexa doesn't know for sure. She only knows that using her voice is something she only ever does when she feels a hundred percent safe. Clarke provides her that safety.
She wants to tell Clarke just that. But she doesn't know how to without using a lot more words than just a few. Her eyes instinctively looks for a notepad on the bedside table but she hasn't had the chance to place one there yet.
"You need a notepad?"
Lexa bites her lips nervously and then shakes her head. She locks her eyes onto Clarke's blue oceans to draw the strength she needs to continue.
"I feel safe," Lexa whispers,"... with you."
Five words.
Five words leave Clarke breathless.
Five words leave Lexa terrified.
They are the calm in Clarke's heart, but a tornado in Lexa's mind.
They are the biggest declaration of trust anyone has ever given Clarke and they are the most important words Lexa has ever spoken, the most terrifying thing she's ever had to do.
Their eyes stay locked and Clarke smiles at her, just smiles, and the tornado in Lexa's mind slowly winds down.
There's a knock on the door.
"Clarke? Lexa?" It's Raven.
"Yeah?" Clarke answers.
"Are you decent?" They can basically hear Raven smirk through the door.
"Yeah, we're decent... come in." Clarke rolls her eyes and Lexa chuckles. She's still straddling Clarke's waist as Raven and Anya enters their bedroom. They both take a seat on the edge of the bed and Lexa moves to sit next to Clarke instead.
"Mom just called," Anya says, looking at Lexa. "She and dad just invited themselves over for dinner tomorrow."
Lexa gives Anya a pleading look.
"Don't look at me that way, you know how she is. I'm beginning to think this was their plan all along. Having us renting one of their houses so they can stop by any time they want." Anya says, not really angry, just slightly annoyed.
"Don't worry, Anya, we'll woo the in-laws like they've never been wooed before, right Rae?" Clarke says playfully.
"Yeah, totally. Ooh, let's do that salmon dish. Do they like salmon?" Raven looks at both sisters.
"Sure." Anya says.
"Okay, we'll do the salmon... some nice wine... have the wonder child here play some tunes on the piano... They won't know what hit them," Raven winks at Anya and Lexa and then shares a grin with Clarke.
"Unbelievable..." Anya sighs, staring at Raven in disbelief. "You're excited about this?"
"Well, yeah! Babe, I throw dinner parties all the time... It's like you don't even know me..." Raven winks at her.
"Uh, okay, if you're sure. So, tell me if there's something you expect me and Lexa to do?"
"I'll write a grocery list, you and Lexa can go pick things up tomorrow." Raven batters her eyelashes dramatically at her.
"So bossy!"
"You like it," Raven winks at her and Anya eventually just shrugs and throws in one of her confident smirks.
"Okay, take that to your own room," Clarke scolds them playfully.
Raven gets up from the bed laughing and pulls Anya with her out of the room.
Clarke looks at Lexa who's mostly just been observing the conversation. "You okay, Lex?"
Lexa nods. Clarke can tell Lexa is trying to just shrug it off, that she'd prefer not to have her parents over for dinner.
"I kinda like your parents," Clarke says as an afterthought, not really meant for anyone.
"Less talk," Lexa says, pushing Clarke down on the bed. A chuckle barely slips Clarke's lips before Lexa swallows it in a kiss.
*
The doorbell rings.
Raven is in the kitchen finishing up preparations and Clarke and Lexa are glued to the piano so Anya goes to open the door.
"Mom, dad. Good to see you, come on in." Anya greets them.
"You too, Anya." Gustus smiles warmly at his eldest. "Oh honey, listen. Alexandra is playing the piano," he says to his wife.
"Lexa AND Clarke, actually. You should sneak in to watch them. She's good for Lexa. Really good," the proud big sister tells them.
"Oh? Let's do that, Gus." Indra smiles, first af her daughter, then her husband.
They walk down the hall and stop by the entrance to the living room as to not interrupt them.
Lexa has given Clarke a new snippet of a melody for her to loop infinitely and Lexa is improvising around it. Once in a while Clarke changes her snip on purpose and it makes Lexa beam with pride. To Lexa, music is a language she uses to express herself and just like Lexa is slowly learning to speak again, Clarke is learning to speak through Lexa's language. It makes sense to them, it doesn't have to make sense to anyone else.
Indra and Gustus are both speechless as they watch Lexa show off her piano skills playfully making Clarke laugh. Gustus thinks Clarke has a beautiful laugh, it sounds like life itself and he understands why Lexa loves her. For the first time in maybe ever, Indra realizes that Lexa doesn't need to speak to be happy. Clarke is quite the miracle maker, she thinks.
Gustus looks to his wife who's getting emotional by the sight and he leans in to place a kiss to her cheek. "Come on, honey, let's go in and say hi."
They walk into the room and greet Raven in the kitchen. Gustus offers a handshake but Raven won't have it, instead she pulls him in for a hug and he laughs heartily by the gesture. Raven gives Indra a hug too and she smiles by the gesture although she feels a little uncomfortable. It wasn't something she'd expected, is all.
Clarke and Lexa stops playing the second they notice them and Clarke skips across the living room to greet the in-laws with a hug as well. Lexa walks up slowly to take a stand next to Anya as she nods her hello to her parents. Anya leans in to whisper only for Lexa to hear, "what's with the hugging?" and Lexa doesn't know, so she just shrugs, equally disturbed and mesmerized by it.
*
Dinner is nice and comfortable. Indra and Gustus are warm and attentive and wants to know what everyone has been doing since their last dinner together and Anya is having a really hard time hating her parents. In fact, this feels really good. It's not superficial, it's just... family dinner. It's like she always pictured it should be and for an evening she allows herself to not hate them.
Lexa is enjoying dinner as well. They're not making comments about her not speaking or not choosing to work for their company. They're just genuinely interested in whatever she wants to share with them.
After dinner, they settle around the coffee table and Lexa's thoughts wanders mindlessly towards the piano.
"Alexandra, I'm glad to see you're putting the piano to good use," Indra says, smiling at her youngest. Lexa smiles back and if Indra must be honest, she doesn't need Lexa to answer with words, it's the same smile she wore as a kid every time she played the piano and Indra understands the meaning behind it, more than most things.
"I see you're teaching Clarke as well," Gustus winks at his daughter and then smiles at Clarke and the soft smiles his daughter shares with her girlfriend doesn't go unnoticed.
"Is the library still good for you?" Gustus then asks and Lexa brings out her notepad to explain her new work situation.
'The library is only part time and if everything goes well I'll probably quit in the new year. The hospital has a Kids Center to help disabled kids and I've been working a bit on a delevopment program for children who can't speak or hear. I don't want to jinx it, but right now it looks like I'll be working with them next year.'
"Oh, Alexandra, that sounds great. What kind of work will you be doing?" Indra wants to know.
Lexa takes her notepad back to write an answer. Her body fills with excitement as she explains what she'll be doing. It's the first time she's ever been excited about a job situation. Before Costia died, all she wanted was to play the piano and not work for her parents. Losing Costia also meant losing the need to dream, so she settled with the easy job at the library to make ends meet.
It worked.
Until Clarke came along.
Until Clarke brought back her music.
Until Clarke introduced her to Niylah who decided Lexa was worth giving a chance.
Then the library stopped working because she started dreaming again. That's what the Kids Center is to her. She doesn't want these kids to stop dreaming like she did.
Clarke reads the note as Lexa writes it, an arm on the back of the couch behind Lexa and a chin softly placed on Lexa's shoulder. Lexa then sends the finished note across the coffee table to her parents and Clarke kisses her on the cheek and whispers "I'm proud of you" barely an inch from her ear.
'I'll be working with the team to teach the kids how to communicate and deal with a society that isn't clearly fit for their disability. It's about making them confident using the tools they do have and also give them some new ones. If the board approves, we'll start a new mentor project next year that connects the children with someone who's been living successfully with their disability. Also, we're working on a project to teach the kids to express themselves with other forms of communication to understand themselves better, like art and music, and I may even get to teach some of them to play the piano. It depends on how fast I delevop my sign language skills.'
"Mom." Anya says, gesturing for the notepad because she wants to read it too.
"Oh, sorry," Indra says handing it over. "Alexandra, that's amazing. I'm proud of you. I know I've been hard on you, but all I've ever wanted was for you to be happy and use the gifts this life has graced you with to do good. I think you finally found your place in the world."
There's a moment of silence as everyone takes in what Indra just said. The note has reached Raven as Lexa and Anya stares at their mom who's at the rim of crying. Gustus puts a comforting hand on his wife's wrist as he says, "We're proud of you. Both of you. This house is filled with so much joy and life, it warms our hearts to experience it."
"Shit, Lexa, this is awesome!" Raven exclaims, interrupting the emotional moment. It takes away the awkwardness as the room instantly fills with a heart-felt laughter from Gustus.
"Raven! You are one of a kind," he says and Raven blushes.
"That she is," Anya agrees smiling at Raven.
*
That night, after their parents had gone home, after Raven had gone to bed and while Clarke is in the shower, Anya joins Lexa on the couch for a sister talk. Anya throws her feet onto the coffee table and Lexa leans her head on Anya's shoulder.
"I think aliens have taken over mom and dad's bodies," Anya says, half joking half being serious.
Lexa chuckles and nods.
Anya likes it when Lexa chuckles. A year ago she'd just have smiled silently, but lately it's developed into a chuckle and Anya thinks she can hear a bit of Lexa's voice when it happens.
"You okay?" Anya asks and Lexa nods again.
"I'm proud of you, sis." Anya leans her head against Lexa's head too now. "Not just with the Kids Center. I've watched you grow and take on new challenges ever since you met Clarke and I'm proud of you for letting her into your life like that. I know it hasn't been easy."
Anya reaches for Lexa's hand and gives it a squeeze. Lexa squeezes it back, using their old routine to tell Anya she's okay.
They sit there leaned against one another taking in the silence around them until Anya breaks the silence again.
"No, really, what's going on with mom and dad? I don't know how to deal with them being all... like normal parents... It's weird!"
This is one of those pockets of time that will be tethered to her mind forever, Lexa thinks. It's the first time in maybe all her life that her mom and dad has acted like normal parents, at least for as long as she can remember. It's only their second night in the house and Lexa has had a family dinner with Clarke, Anya and Raven and her parents and this family already feels complete.
It feels good.
This sister talk on the couch feels good too. They used to have many of those before she met Clarke and she kind of misses them, so she makes a mental note to make them happen again. Soon. Often, preferably.
Being home feels good.