Screw Friends

“Shhhh. It’s okay Tobs. Deep breath.” Alex coaxed, as she smoothed Tobin’s hair and sat with the crying girl.

Tobin and Christen hadn’t been talking for 3 or 4 days, and she had had enough. She missed Christen.

“I r-ruiened it, I-I made her le-eave. I c-can’t fucking keep a gi-irl for a w-week Alex!”

Alex shook her head. “Tobin, this wasn’t your fault. You are her guardian angel on this team. You looked out for her, and introduced her, hell, you haven’t left her side since day 1! I seriously doubt you were the one that made her leave.”

Tobin shook her head.

This is a joke. She’s over me. She doesn’t need me.

“Well believe it Alex, because she’s gone.”

----

A few doors down, Christen felt the same way. But, she was trying to figure out how to get Tobin back. She came up with plan after plan, and sighed in defeat when she couldn’t think of anything. So, she called her sister.

“Hey Ty. I need some advice,”

Christen could hear her sister smiling through the phone, “Christen! I live for this stuff! Spill.”

Christen told Tyler about her, well, pradicament, and sighed. “I just don’t know what to do. I’ve tried to think of ways to apologize and be cute about it, but I can’t. It’s like I don’t sound like myself. “

“I think that’s it! Just be yourself. Do what your heart says, and I’m sure she’ll love it. Christen, she loves you for you. Just do you.”

“Do you really think she loves me?”

“Do you see how she looks at you? Girl, she’s got it bad.” Christen giggled.

“Ugh, I hope you’re right. I’m going to write this letter, and have Ashlyn look over it just incase. Thanks Ty! Love you!”

“Mwah! Love you too sis. See you soon.”

Christen hung up, feeling better than ever. Her sister had that effect on people, always making them smile. Christen grabbed the hotel notepad, a pen, and let her heart spill out on the paper.

----

Tobin’s friends on the team tried to cheer her up with funny movies, pick up soccer, and yummy food, but all Tobin wanted to do was lay in bed and stalk Christen. She had gone through Christen’s instagram and twitter multiple times when she couldn’t take it anymore. She had to get out of that hotel room. She threw on her tennis shoes, and decided to walk around her home away from home, Portland.

Strolling by her favorite boutique, soccer shop, and bookstore, Tobin couldn’t stop smiling. She decided to stop at a near by coffee shop, and grab something to eat. She ordered, and was drinking her coffee, when she looked across the room and noticed someone familiar.

Oh my god. Christen.

Tobin panicked, and tried to scroll through her phone, while discreetly looking up to catch a glance at her. She looked so peaceful, writing, and listening to music, Tobin just wanted to talk to her and be with her. Then she remembered what happened, and realized she may never be able to do that again. Tears formed in her eyes, and Tobin scolded herself.

Tobin, STOP. You’re being a baby. Calm down. She won’t bite, it’s Christen.

Tobin realized, she couldn’t be in the coffee shop with Christen anymore, it was too overwhelming. So, she grabbed her stuff, and started to head out, when Christen stopped her.

“Hey.” Christen offered, smiling shyly.

“Hi.” Tobin said, with an unsure tone in her voice.

“Um, here. Read this. You don’t have to love me or even forgive me, but I just wanted to tell you how I feel. And not when I’m crying.” Christen looked nervous, and Tobin smiled.

“Thanks. See you around Chris.”

“Hope so.” Christen said with a nod, and Tobin headed out the door with some hope.

Maybe everything will be okay. She thought.

Tobin strutted down the street with a smile on her face, and made her way back to the hotel to read the note. She was happy, but incredibly nervous. What if Christen said she only wanted to be friends? Had Tobin scared her away? When Tobin got to her room, she sprawled out on the bed, and unfolded the note. She noticed some scratched out lines at the beginning, where Christen was trying to start her note, and smiled.

Tobin,

I miss you. I gave up someone who I really like, and it hurts me more than you know. But it’s really not about me. It’s about your heart, and your feelings, and our friendship. It’s not fair if you can’t talk to me or trust me because I’m being irrational, and emotional. I can’t hurt your career either. So, whatever it is you want to do with, well, ‘us’ just tell me. I want one thing, but you may need the other and that’s okay.

I also just wanted to thank you. I HAVE noticed all of the things you’ve done for me, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Without you, I would be all by myself and I can’t thank you enough. You’re such an amazing girl and being on this team without you would be impossible.

But there’s something else I need to tell you, it might scare you, (it sure as hell scares me) and it’s that I’m 100% sure I’m in love with you. Tobin, you make me so happy and I can’t take not being with you. Whether I’m your friend or lover or even teammate, I just want to be around you and with you. There’s so many things about you that is so attractive, my heart stops when I’m with you, Tobin. Your eyes, your smile, your laugh, your kind heart, the way you look at others, you make me realize how lucky I am to be here, with you. You have helped me get past that I’m not perfect, and make me realize something so important. When I was younger, I thought I wanted to be girls when I had crushes on them. It was just something I pushed away. But when I’m with you, Tobin, I have the courage to tell people that I’m in love with you, and that I don’t want to be you, I want to be with you. I want to be yours.

So, I’m sitting here, in this cafe, watching you come in and order your favorite drink, and I can’t help but smile because you’re you. But I also hope that you can be mine.

Just think about it. I’m hoping you say yes.

I love you,

Chisten.

At the end of reading the note, Tobin dashed out of her room and went to find Christen. She was so happy Christen felt the same way that she did, and had to tell her. She went to Ashlyn’s floor, and asked her and Ali if they had seen Christen, but she was nowhere to be found. She ran to Allie and Alex’s room, and they said the same thing. Tobin was frantic, running from room to room, from the pool to the gym, to the terrace, and the lobby, and she finally stopped at Ashlyn’s floor one more time, to see if she had missed Christen while she was looking. She wasn’t there, and Tobin trudged back onto the elevator in defeat. She walked to the back of the elevator with her head down. When she heard someone say her name.

“Tobin? Did you read it? Oh gosh. You hated it. I get it, we can be friends. I just really like you, but I want to support you and-” Christen rambled, and Tobin kissed her on the lips to quiet whatever she was going to say next.

They both melted into the kiss, and couldn’t stop smiling. They finally stopped, and caught their breath.

“Yes. A million times yes, Christen.” Tobin said, and Christen wrapped her arms around Tobin and hugged her tight. She didn’t want to ever let go.

“I had always loved you Tobin, I just didn’t have the guts to tell you.”

“I’m just glad you’re here and I’m able to tell you this.”

Christen looked confused. “What’s that?”

“I love you too.”