It's always a blonde one
Mickey walked next to his friend for a couple of meters until Lexa finally decided to stop. She looked him right into eyes and said:
"I need your help" her voice was confident and she had this 'you don't want to argue with me today, Mick' tone.
"Well, I'm pretty fucking sure you said it like five times already, but go on repeat yourself" he huffed quietly, shaking his head a little, which earned him a punch in the shoulder from Durmstrang girl.
"Okay, Mr. Smartass. Maybe I will just leave you alone and go find your sister to tell her that you are obviously into her redhead friend" she answered and little smile of victory appeared on her lips, when Mickey sighed loudly and crossed his arms.
"So what do you want?" he asked.
"What do you think? You need to check a hot girl for me" Lexa explained with a tone that made it look like something completely obvious. And, well, maybe it was for them.
"Oh, for fucks sake... Who I have to flirt with now with? And please not another blonde, because I will start to think that's some kind of fetish of yours" he said, rolling his eyes and Lexa blushed a little.
"Fuck off. It's not a fetish its just..." she stopped in the middle of explanation and shook her head. "In our school we have like eight girls who don't have dark hair. Fucking Norwegian genes, man" she added after a second and Milkovich laughed quietly.
"You are aware that this shit has nothing to do with Norwegian genes, right? It's only Norwegian magical families have that luck of having generations of dark-haired kids. 'The seed is strong' and all of that" he said, quoting first season of Game of Thrones. Lexa blinked couple times before asking:
"Is this another muggle TV reference that I don't get and that you will show me later?" a girl asked.
"Yep" Mickey only answered, because probably he will show Lexa entire Game of Thrones series just like he did with The Walking Dead, Sherlock, Lucifer and Shadowhunters - which was a little cliché if you ask Mickey, but Lexa loved it and decided that Izzy and Clary should be together. She also always laugh at Mickey when gay couple appeared, because 'Oh, look Mick. They are so cute. Why can't you be so cute?', 'My gay little cupcakes. You need to find me more TV-shows with gay couples' and 'You totally have a crush on this Alec dude, Mickey. And to be honest I don't blame you. Those Lightwoods are hot as fucking hell'.
Mickey still remembered how he became friends with Lexa in their fourth year of school. Milkovich stared at his older brother's ex girlfriend who cheated on Iggy so he promised a little revenge for his older brother. He was in the middle of making a plan when tall brunette appeared next to him.
"She is kinda hot" she stated then and looked and Mickey. "Unfortunately for you she is also gay. So back off, dude" she added with a little smirk on her face. Mickey raised an eyebrow in answer.
"You sure this chick is gay?" he asked and brunette looked him in the eyes in disbelieve.
"Well, yeah. I'm pretty sure I just said that" she said and Milkovich smiled a little.
"That's cool" he just whispered.
"Cool? Dude, if she is gay you will not bang her. It works only in straight guy fantasies" she stared and him and Mickey shake his head.
"Calm your tits, bitch. It's my brother's ex and I'm gay. You can let go" he blurred out, which caused a girl to raise her eyebrows high up her forehead.
"You're gay?" she asked, and Mickey rolled his eyes.
"Well, yeah. I'm pretty sure I just said that" he copied her words from a minute a ago. A girl licked her lips and nodded before a big smile appeared on her face.
"Oh, it's perfect. It's so perfect" she whispered and looked him right into his eyes. "You're my new friend. I decided" she stated and Mickey blinked in confusion.
"Pretty sure this shit does not working like that" he stated and Lexa smile became even bigger.
"It does with me" she said and shook her head a little. "Look, you are gay. I'm a lesbian. You won't steal my girls. I won't steal your boys. You can flirt with girls to check if they are gay for me and I can do the same for you with guys" she said and Mickey blinked again before nodding.
"That's not a bad idea" he said slowly after a couple of seconds. A girl rolled her eyes and nodded.
"It's my idea, you dickhead. Of course it's good" she said. "And I'm Lexa, by the way" brunette added after a minute of silence.
"Mickey" he introduced himself.
"Oh Mickey. I can tell you right now that it is a beginning of really weird friendship" Lexa said loudly with a laugh and Mickey only nodded.
That was three years ago and Mickey was really surprised how right Lexa was in the day they met. Their friendship was weird and complicated and based on stupid arrangement but it worked. And Mickey actually liked it.
"Which girl is that?" he asked now looking right at his friend, when a big smile grow on Lexa's lips. She turned around and looked for a moment in the crowd before explaining.
"The one standing next to blue table with a crow or whatever kind this bird is" she said and Mickey's eyes drove through many students and stopped at blue table.
"Which one, bitch. There is like forty of them" he hissed. Lexa rolled her eyes.
"The one standing next to butterbeer" she added quickly and Mickey looked once more to spot two girls standing next to butterbeer stand on the table that belong to Ravenclaws. Mickey knew the name of this house only because Mandy was dating some Ravenclaw asshole once and she did complain about his stupid attitude and 'I'm always right, because I'm in Ravenclaw' posture. Milkovich only hoped that all people from blue house are not like this one asshole was.
"Okay" he only muttered quietly, which Lexa understood as him wondering which of two girls he should go and check for her.
"The one with-" she started, but Mickey didn't let her finish.
"It's the blonde one" he interrupted and rolled his eyes. " It's always the blonde one"
"Fuck off and move your ass. Be a nice wingman... Or gay detector or whatever" Lexa said and Mickey only shook his head.
"Why am I doing that again?" he mumbled under breath, but Lexa somehow heard it.
"Because you don't want to lose the only person in entire school who is not afraid to talk to you. Apart from your stupid as hell brothers" brunette smiled, while answering prepared before excuse.
"Ugh... Fine, I'm going" he muttered and put his wand out. Milkovich said couple hearing spells under his breath and only when he was completely ready he moved towards the crowd. He almost walked right into some Gryffindoor student before he stopped next to Hufflepuff table, because he already found out how nice those guys are when one of them gave him a joint and wished 'not too shitty night', which Mickey really appreciated. Milkovich took one butterbeer from a Hufflepuff table and drank couple sips, while focusing his eyes on the girl that he supposed to flirt with. Sometimes only listening was enough and those times were the best for Mickey, because he was truly terrible at flirting. One Hufflepuff student smiled to him and he nodded in his direction before catching some words from two girls. Then he only drank and focused on listening.
"- I don't care but you gotta admit some boys from Durmstrong are hot. You can say that they are-" a dark-haired girl started, but the blonde one closed her eyes, shook her head and muttered under her breath:
"Please, not another pun...", which truly sounded like a prayer. Unfortunately for a blonde girl, brunette only smiled wider.
"- DamnStrong!" she almost screamed and then bursted out laughing.
"Oh, for Merlin's sake..." blonde girl mumbled and put hands on her face before adding:"I don't know you. You are a total stranger" Those words only made her friend more talkative.
"Oh, Clarkie, that so sweet! Bet all people will belive you, because there is no way that you know another girl from your house who just also happened to be in your house. And whom you sit with at almost all of your classes" she stated with a shade of sarcasm and her friend sighed loudly.
"I hate you" she stated after she took her hands from her face.
"No, you don't..." dark-haired girl began before connecting her gaze with Mickey and stopping in the middle of sentence. "Okay, calm down, but we have hottie alert" she whispered to her blonde friend - Clarke, apparently - breaking their eye contact. Mickey took another sip of butterbeer to keep himself busy or at least look busy.
"Hottie alert for you or for me?" Clarke asked without even looking up at Mickey. Milkovich make a mental note of a little 'not so straight behavior' how Lexa used to call it.
"For me" brunette girl answered and looked back at Durmstrang student. 'Okay, this one is straight' he make another mental note and waited to see how this situation will develop. Brunette looked at Mickey once more and sighed before returning gaze to her friend. "But I think he got an eye on you" she added and Milkovich smirked, because she wasn't completely wrong. Blonde student finally looked in Mickey's direction and slide her gaze on his body and make an eye contact. Mickey mentally rolled his eyes, because this is exactly what he expected from Lexa. Pretty blonde girl with blue eyes that probably smiles and blushes in a cute way. This girl was definitely Lexa's type. After a second Ravenclaw turn her head and looked back at her friend.
"Too short. Not my type" she only stated.
"Yeah, that the only reason why he is not your type" brunette girl said with a mocking tone. Milkovich made another note about this statement.
"Shut up, Raven" Clarke said and punched and friend in shoulder. "Tell me something about that new machine you are making... Can it really sort people to right houses without using a Sorting Hat?"
"It will! Right now it's may mistake a little bit. Mostly Ravenclaws with Slytherins, because wanting knowledge and big ambitions are kind of similar. Gryffindoors are getting sorted almost perfectly with a few exceptions that end up being in Slytherin and Hufflepuff..." she explained slowly, her smile becoming bigger and bigger with every second and her eyes shone in amazing way. In this moment Mickey knew that a 'distance mission' failed and girls completely changed a subject. Durmstrang student sighed loudly. He knew a little bit and suspected that Clarke was into girls, but last time when he gave Lexa 98% instead of 100% she blackmailed him into going back to find those missing two percent. Milkovich drank the rest of his butterbeer - 'Terrible things, so sweet that you will puke before you will feel like after a couple of normal muggle beers. Useless and gross if you are over sugar phrase but you cannot legally move to firewhiskey yet' -, put a fake smile on his lips and walked towards Ravenclaw students.
"Hello, Ladies" he started, smile growing on his lips for better effect. Raven looked at him and grinned, but her friend only rolled her eyes.
"Hey, there. I'm kinda surprise you know english" brunette stated, while taking a step closer to him. Mickey almost rolled his eyes as an answer to this move.
"You are not the only one..." Milkovich said, remembering that amazing misunderstanding with hot redhead guy. It's honestly shame that this guy was Mandy's best friend, because Mickey would consider accepting his long line of compliments and getting laid the first night here. "I bet I was kinda creepy stalker-ish so I decided to get a courage and talk to you" he added after a second, focusing his gaze on Clarke and smiling even wider.
"Well your way here could be pointless..." Raven started and looked quickly at her friend. "It depends if you want to talk to me or to my lovely friend Clarkie" she added and smiled.
"Clarke" blonde girl corrected her friend. "And I'm gay, so if that me then you have no chance" she then added and moved her shoulders up a little making a 'sorry not sorry' face that Mickey knew very much, because Mandy was his sister.
"Sorry for interrupting then" he said respectively just for a sake of being nice and he turned around aiming in Lexa's direction. Before he even took two steps he heard Raven's voice echoing in the room.
"Told you! It should be DamnStrong!" she screamed and Milkovich rolled his eyes. He took his wand and quickly neutralized hearing spells, because those are getting very enoying after a little time. He shook his head to get this weird sensation out of his head and then he rolled his eyes in Lexa's direction.
"She is gay. 100%" he blurred out when he stood next to her. Lexa smile became that wide that it took all her face. She punched the air a little before shaking her head and stopping laughter.
"My lucky day I guess" she stated and Mickey nodded.
"Yeah. Her name is Clarke and horny friend of hers is Raven" he added, because maybe Lexa will use this somehow.
"Oh, poor Mickey Mouse! Was a straight girl all over you?" she asked mockingly and smirked at him. Milkovich flip her off in response.
"Shut up, bitch and go get laid"
"Yeah... You may tap ginger ass. I can check him for you" Lexa offered, but Mickey only shook his head.
"Oh, this one is more than one hundred percent gay. He almost prayed for my ass, because he thought I don't speak fucking english" Milkovich explained and Lexa chuckle and nodded quickly.
"Oh, men you are so lucky with this one. He is hot. I'm telling you that as lesbian. This boy is hot" she said, her eyes pointing somewhere in the sky and her head was still moving a little bit.
"Okay, I got the fucking message! Go and get blonde princess" he answered quickly. In response Lexa pointed at him, her eyes becoming serious in a second.
"Only if you will tap ginger ass" she almost blackmailed him, which only made him roll his eyes.
"Deal" he answered.
"Deal" Lexa confirmed, put another big smile on her face and walked into the crowd towards the Ravenclaw table, leaving Mickey alone with two muggle beers they stashed there earlier.