Kara flew into her apartment through the windows and sighed. Home sweet home, as she was invited by a slow rhythmic heart beat coming from her bedroom. She quickly ran to her bedroom and changed, eager to finally feel closer to the person she’s been dying to be with. she was about to spoon the person that the heartbeat belongs too. Although, she didn’t realize that the light was still left on, so before she lays on the bed, she quickly shut the lights off and looked at Lena, the curtain of the bedroom window was slightly ajar, inviting a ray of light from the moon, which became a spotlight to Lena’s sleeping form.
Kara smiled and walked closer to the edge of the bed, admiring how Lena is lost in peaceful dreams because usually her eyebrows are furrowed and her heartbeat would beat faster, only indicating Kara that Lena is having nightmares. But tonight seemed different.
Kara’s heart sunk as she realizes how much she had fallen in love with this woman, sleeping on her bed, wearing her clothes and using her pillow. That was not even the part why Kara suddenly felt like her heart has been slapped, yes maybe it has been slapped by reality. The reality about her job as Supergirl, the danger, and the probability of not making it out alive in a fight that she sometimes was not prepared for.
Her heart is slowly breaking at the thought of not making it out alive, would Lena doubt the way she feels about her? Will she know how much she loves her? Did she try enough to show her every day that she’s the only one she loved truly? And the thought of Lena facing the world without her, without the constant reminder to eat lunch, or saving her from any goons that tried to kill her, or hugging the nightmares away? Or just by simply being there for each other.
Kara was caressing Lena’s cheek absentmindedly and she’s so lost in her thought that she didn’t notice Lena stir, that she didn’t even notice Lena leaning into her touch.
“You’re home,” Lena whispered and Kara was snapped out of her trance, she often forgets how much of a light sleeper her girlfriend is. Kara smiled and looked at the dazed eyes of Lena. Yeah, I’m home.
“Sorry, I woke you. Sorry, I didn't come home earlier. I didn't know I wi-” Kara’s ramble of apologies was soon cut short as she hears Lena giggle and tugging at her hand.
“The world needed you,” Lena said as she sat up and tugged Kara’s hand, inviting her to bed. “I guess, It’s ok if I share my hero to the world.” Lena smiled as Kara climbed and laid on the bed. Lena then made herself comfortable by laying on top of her girlfriend that is made out of steel. Her hands are on top of Kara’s chest and her chin resting on top of her hands looking at Kara with tender and a look that always makes Kara feel as if she’s more than a superhero as if she’s more than life. She knows that look, she invented that look.
“But I’m all yours,” Kara said as she pulls Lena up for their face to be closer to each other. “All and completely yours.” She mumbles before pressing her lips against Lena. This kiss seemed different, the both of them notice that. It's as if something else is being said, something greater than they have shared before.
Kara pulled away, a little breathless “I love you.” She said, eyes closed. It slipped out and she doesn't know if it was too early in their relationship yet but she didn't get to stop herself this time. Perhaps it was because of that thought she just had while Lena was still sleeping, the thought of not letting her know how much she loves her. And maybe, in those seconds of kissing Lena, she made up her mind to tell and show her just in any case she won't be able to in another tomorrow.
She bit her lip as her eyes are still closed, scared to see Lena’s reaction. She didn't feel Lena move, so that's a good sign, right?
“Kara.” She hears Lena whisper, “Open your eyes, please, Darling.”
Kara did slowly peering from her lids to see what she should expect if her eyes were to open wide. Lena is only looking at her, no emotions. So, she decided to get it over with and opened her eyes fully but she can't seem to look directly into Lena’s eyes.
“Kara,” Lena said pointedly which made Kara look at her directly and she forgets how looking directly at Lena’s eyes felt like, well she didn't really forget, it's just that every time she does, it seems like a new feeling, always.
“Will you please, say what you said again? Looking at me this time?” Lena asked and the vulnerability has shown itself through Lena’s eyes. There and then they were both bare, open and this felt like the most intimate thing they did, even more, intimate than the other kind of being bare with each other.
“I love you,” Kara said it again, with more passion this time. It was not a whisper anymore, or being covered by a cough. She wasn't saying it in her mind anymore. She’s finally saying it out loud and it never felt so true. “I love you.” She said it again, louder.
Lena closed her eyes and bit her lower lip, she then smiled and kept her eyes closed as Kara repeatedly saying I love you.
Lena leaned down and captured Kara’s lips while she was in the middle of saying yet another I love you. Kara hummed and she knows Lena is feeling the same, or so she hopes that when she heard Lena’s heartbeat beat faster, not from a nightmare, or a long passionate night but by simply being together.
“I love you too, ” Lena said and kissed Kara once again and after the kiss, Lena nuzzled on Kara’s chest as Kara throws the covers on top of them.
-/-/-/-
Kara intended to wake up earlier and as slowly and slightly as she can, she untangled herself from Lena and went down to make breakfast for the both of them. She knows that Lena has this internal alarm clock that she automatically wakes up at 7:15 in the morning and it is now 6:50. Luckily Kara has heat vision and super speed that she finished cooking in no time.
She then quickly went to the bedroom with both of her hand holding a tray. It is now 7:16 and once she opens the door Lena is sitting up while stretching.
“I hope you’re hungry,” Kara said as she comes in with breakfast. Lena smiled and nodded. Kara leaned down and kissed Lena “I love you.” She said before setting the trays properly.
-/-/-/-
Kara quickly stopped by a flower shop and bought a bouquet, she then used her super speed to go out and change into her super suit, to write a note for Lena, to wrap the bouquet so it won't be ruined when she fly.
Kara flew into L-corp and through the balcony door of Lena’s office.
“Hey, you busy?” Kara asked as she takes the bouquet out of its protection and offered it to Lena. Lena smiled fondly at the flowers and got up to hug and quickly peck Kara’s lips. Kara then heard somebody somewhere in the city yelling for help and she quickly used her X-ray vision to locate the person.
“I- uh can't stay for long. Even though I want to I really do, trust me but there’s a guy who was cleaning a window from a high building, who is now holding onto a piece of rope to save his life. So, uh gotta go?” She asked. Lena laughed and shook her head.
She kissed Kara again “Go before the poor guy falls to his death.” Lena said and turned around to put down the bouquet on her desk. She turned back around to see Kara still standing there. “Babe? Is something wrong?”
Kara shook her head and smiled sheepishly, using her super speed she wrapped her arms around Lena’s waist and peck her lips. “I love you.” She said and smiled.
Lena shook her head and smiled “Now, go! Don't let that guy fall.”
“I'll be catching him, don't worry.” And with that Supergirl went to rescue the poor guy but she kept her ears listening to Lena.
“I love you too, babe. And for the record I really don't need to worry, you caught me before I even knew I was falling for you.” Kara smiled “Oh and thank you for the flowers and the letter?”
Lena might felt weird talking alone in her office but she knows that Kara is listening, of how she knows how much she’s loved by her beautiful and brave girlfriend. Kara would always show her, or tell her every day and every time she gets the chance and if Kara doesn't have the time she makes time just to say I love you to Lena. And Lena will always, always say and show it back.
-/-/-/-
Kara was punched and flew up high into the air by the goons she’s currently facing.
“Kara, do you copy?” Alex’s voice rang through her ear piece.
Kara shook her head “ye-yeah. Alex, can you please explain to me how these guys can punch me with that machine only?”
“We’re still trying to figure it out, how are you feeling?”
“Like I've been run over by a bus filled with kryptonite.”
Kara then flew using her super speed to dismantle one of the smaller machines that are attacking her. With her quick sense, she’s been trying to dodge bullets as well because she’s been grazed by one and it burned like hell.
“Supergirl, you better watch out. Those machines are filled with weird alien devices mixed with kryptonite. Bullets, knives even the machine itself.”
“That's why when I tried to dismantle one of them it was twice as hard.”
Now Kara knows what to do, using her X-ray vision she seeks the areas or parts of the machine that is tainted by kryptonite. Got it, there are parts that don't have any kryptonite but are only plain human metal.
Kara then quickly took out another small machine, leaving only the two big ones. She was facing the both of them and she analyzed her chances, she saw that one machine is now holding a green sword, while the other has nothing.
Go for the harder one to defeat. She made up her mind. She figured too that these machines move slower than the small ones. So, she quickly took the leg of the sword machine and flung it far from them and far from the civilians.
She quickly faced the other machine and she saw how the fist turned into a gun and bullets came after Kara. With the best of her ability she ducked and got out of the way. She can't be a steel against kryptonite. She fights off the feeling of dizziness. She has to come out of this fight, alive. She didn't get the chance to say I love you to Lena today. Well, she did leave a note because these goons attacked at dawn… who attacks at dawn?!
She was focused on not getting hit but getting closer to the machine she knows where the weak spot is and she is intending to finish this fight. It was a success, she dismantled and crushed the gun machine but she celebrated her victory far too quick and forgot about the sword machine.
She felt it, the burning slice of the sword on her waist but luckily she moved quick enough not to be sliced in half. She’s bleeding and the cut was too deep for the sun to heal it fast. She’s bleeding too fast. She can feel her power draining a little as she notices her wound, the sword left pixies on her skin that is causing her to drain. Far too soon she’s losing her ability of flight but she kept reminding herself about Lena, she can't leave her alone behind. She won't.
Kara fought through and shot a laser beam to cut the sword hand off the machine. It took a while to do so. But the punch she got from the other arm, she wasn't ready for. That fist was heavy with kryptonite. She was dashed to the ground and she felt it, the last of her powers draining from her completely. But she’s still alive. Oh, how she hopes she is. Her eyes are slowly closing as she watches the machine advance towards her but before she can feel any pain, darkness has come through.
But as soon as the darkness took over her. She sees Krypton, her mom, dad and aunt and other Kryptonians that she knew, waiting for her.
“Kara.” Her mom said and smiled.
Kara looked around at the world she lost and at the people that pretty much Kara knew doesn't have a single idea how much she loved them. She regrets it every day of her life to not say it enough to them.
“You’re here just a little too early, Little One.” Aunt Astra said and smiled at Kara. None of the people are reaching for her. But they all are smiling and very welcoming.
“It was not yet your time. Although, as much as we would love you to be here. Resting is not your best suit yet.” Her mom said.
“But if it must and you can no longer fight it, then you are always welcome here, Little One.” Aunt Astra said.
She was confused, but memories of the world she’s currently living in, Eliza, J’onn, her friends, Kal-El, Alex and… Lena. She fought through every day to remind her new world she loves them, especially to her lover. It's true it was not yet her time. So, she closed her eyes again and is drifting through death and survival.
-/-/
It was all a blur to Lena. She was watching the whole thing from the DEO headquarters.
She was brought in for her own safety by J’onn because somebody has also planned on hurting Lena when Kara went to fight the goons. He promised Kara to check on Lena once in awhile and it's a good thing he sticks to his words. He won't know what to do if something ever happens to Lena and see Kara’s heartbreaking. Deeply, he cares for Kara like she is his own daughter. So, as he looks at Lena disoriented by what is happening he went closer to her because he knows the woman doesn't have anyone either. He put his hand on her shoulder.
“Don't worry, I’ll go on the field to make sure she comes here faster so we can aid her sooner,” J’onn said and tried to smile at Lena.
Lena nodded her head and the tears rolled down her cheeks as she saw how Kara bleed from a bullet that grazed her arm. Lena didn't know what has gotten into her but she hugged J’onn, perhaps for comfort. “Sorry, it's just that she’s facing boulders of kryptonite, I-” Lena said as she cried again.
“Don't worry she’s a tough one. She faced far more dangerous things.” J’onn said and let go of Lena.
“NO!” They heard Alex say. “Kara! Stay with me!” She screamed through the telecom. J’onn immediately flew out the DEO and he flies there as fast as he could. He then found the machine punching Supergirl into the ground as if already making a grave there and then. He may not be as strong but he managed to dismantle it.
“Kara,” He said as he neared the beaten hero. She’s breathing, that’s a good sign but she’s unresponsive and her wound is far worse than before. The Kryptonite pixies are not allowing her to heal and so she’s losing blood. J’onn felt her pulse to feel it slow and steady and as time passes by it’s becoming slower, so he didn’t think twice and flew her to the DEO.
-/-/-/-
Lena was pacing back and forth as J’onn leaves, Alex started ordering a platoon to go after the scene and clean up the messes. Alex wants to go after them but she knows she’s needed in the headquarters.
However, Lena can’t stop pacing around, her hands on her hips and the tears are for sure streaming down her cheeks non-stop. She can’t lose Kara, she doesn’t know what life will be if she ever does. Then a cold feeling started to settle in her heart when a sudden realization crept in her mind. Every chance of an I love you, oh how she was always reminded how much she’s loved, oh how much love is shown to her by Kara. She thought it was just because Kara is never shy to show what she feels.
She didn’t realize it was Kara’s way of making up for the times she may never say it again, for the times that she may never have the chance to. She fell to her knees and let out a sob. She’s shaking as the unsettling feeling dawn upon her.
“Lena?” Alex asked as she comes near to her. Without a thought, she wrapped her arms around her and guided her to a chair. Alex knows they both need each other, they can’t lose Kara, not yet, not ever.
“She’ll make it. I know she can.” Alex said but to the sound of her voice, she’s also uncertain and she’s not sure who she’s trying to convince this time.
“She reminds me every day, every chance she has,” Lena whispered through her aching chest, the thought alone was too painful for her to carry. What more if it comes true.
“She’s strong, Lena. She’ll fight through.” Alex said much sturdier this time. She’s trying to fight it, she can’t cry, right now. She has to be the strong one, for now, and she’ll let Kara be strong one tomorrow, she has to. Kara has to.
There was only silence and the sound of buzzing as the doctors in the lab has started to fix the things Kara may need. Then there was J’onn, roaring orders here and there, a limp Kara in his arms.
Alex and Lena stood there, unmoving. Not sure what to do, they stared at Kara’s lifeless body and all the thoughts they are having are slowly coming true if they don’t move.
“Danvers! Luthor! In the lab now!” J’onn yelled and they all dashed in the lab. The doctors are prepared and ready. J’onn set Kara on the sun bed but the monitor was quite.
“Sir, the monitor is not picking up a heart rate. We want you to go outside the lab. As we try to revive her.” A doctor said calmly.
J’onn nodded and dashed outside, looking at the clear walls. The doctors just needed space and they will be moving around. “Agent Danvers and Miss Luthor, with all due respect we would like you to leave the lab as well.”
“No!” They both said.
“But ma’ams we need the most space we need to operate smoothly.”
“We can help, we know science.” Lena tried to argue but she knows that simply knowing science may not help with the case.
“Ma-am, please. If you want her alive, please stay out. Although, Agent Danvers we may need you to run these samples and how it is created.” The doctor gave a swab of kryptonite pixies from the sword. She knows too damn well that Agent Danvers has to do something.
“Lena come with me,” Alex said and they hesitatingly left the lab. They can hear orders being yelled as they try to revive their Supergirl, their hero who sacrificed her life and healing her is the best they can do, to give back to her.
The monitor gave a steady beep sound, the doctors looked at each other but they made themselves look busy to not alert the people watching them, yet. They tried again. The pixies are cleaned and the wound has been stitched up, the sun bed was at its maximum to help Kara heal but it seems like nothing is happening. They try to pump her heart again and again and again. The doctors even tried to beat the monitor up just in case it's having trouble.
The pixie lab results are now done and Alex is reading it over. She notices that the pixies are burning the Kryptonian cells that are Kara’s blood, and once it’s mixed in it seems to double and the kryptonite’s number is exponentially growing like it’s a virus and Alex dropped the papers and her hands are started shaking. It’s good that she sent Lena out before her.
Alex’s chest is caving in and it hurts when she breathes. The sudden realization that her sister may not come out of this crept in and she sunk on a chair to gather her strength, she has to be the strong one.
-/-/-/-
Lena walked and stood beside J’onn, her stomach is starting to churn and she felt sick. She can’t watch Kara like this. She wants Kara to make it out alive, Lena was the one who’s regretting not saying enough to Kara. She watches the scene in front of her and she watched as the doctors made eye contact and working back again, and making that eye contact again. But this time they didn’t go back to work and Kara is still not moving.
It went by so slow, as Alex went running in and one doctor left the room to come outside and J’onn approached her. Then, J’onn barges inside the lab. Screaming at Kara.
Alex then came and hugged Lena and turned her around so Lena won’t see what’s happening.
Lena can hear J’onn screaming at Kara to wake up and to follow orders as soon as possible. She can hear Winn whimper at the side, can hear the metal being crushed by Mon-El, can hear James comforting the two boys, can hear Alex saying something but she can’t seem to hear her own self. She knows she was speaking, struggling to move and once Alex lets her move, slowly she went inside the lab and the doctors made a way for Lena. J’onn too distanced himself from the bed. Lena slowly bent forward and put her ear against Kara’s chest, the once music to her ears was now silence and Lena cried.
“I love you,” She said through trembling lips. She looked at her lover and caressed her face. “You- you were always the one who says it first,” Lena said whispering, afraid that if she says it out loud she won’t be able to stop crying.
“You’re so unfair.” She said and the tears came crashing once again. Her hand trembled as she started caressing her lover’s golden hair. Lena sniffled “You never gave me the chance to ever say it first.” Her voice squeaked as she can no longer hold in the sob that escaped her mouth.
The sound of Lena’s sob broke everyone’s heart, they can’t imagine the pain of ever losing your other half and the only person you have left in your life, the only person you hold closest to your heart. The doctors left the lab and Alex went in, followed by the boys. They encircled the bed and they’re all crying except for Alex. She used to always complain how she’s always catching up because Kara can hold a truck above her head, how Kara is always the strong one. Now, she’s holding that position, the strong one in the room and she never thought that it is so hard to hold back and never let go of that responsibility.
“I love you so much, I- love you so so much,” Lena whispered and kissed Kara, the once warm lips is now cold and unresponsive. Lena would never doubt Kara’s love for her but she doubts if Kara ever knows her love for her.
-/-/-/-
It was Lena, Winn, and Alex who made the casket for Kara. Lena designed it. They’re all looking at the finished product and it only took half a day to finish it.
Lena smiled sadly, she was so used to making things for Kara, either for her suit or something Kara won’t be able to break like gadgets but she never thought she’ll be making this one too.
“Why the sunbed anyways?” Winn asked, his curiosity getting the best of him.
Alex looked at Lena too, not really knowing the real reason. “Remember that one time we all went for a vacation? Somewhere remote in the island of Madagascar? While we were sunbathing and you all are playing in the water, she relaxed and told me how much she loved the sun against her skin.”
“See? I told you, you needed this.” Lena said as she watches her girlfriend layback on a sunbathing bed.
“Mhm. You’re right, I just love how the sun touches my skin. It’s my favorite.” Kara said. But before Lena can question if it is actually true that her favorite was the sun touching her skin, Kara grabbed her hand and repositioned herself so they both can fit on the bed.
“You’re beyond my favorite.” She whispered to Lena and they both enjoyed the bright gleam of the sun.
“At least, she will have this. She can have the sun touching her skin, every day as long as she can, so she won’t have to wait for morning.” Lena said and cried as she finished saying those words. Alex went up to hug her again and Winn cried too and Alex invited him to the hug.
-/-/-/-
It’s been two days and the funeral just finished. They all went home and to everyone’s surprise, she was the first one to leave. She told everyone to not follow her and that she just needed to do something. Even Maggie didn’t stand a chance, she knows how much Alex needed to be alone because for the past couple of days she’s been there for everyone, surrounded by the people that needed her.
So, when Lena entered Kara’s apartment and sees Alex with a beer in her hand, another beer opened in front of her and boxes of potstickers and Kara’s picture. Alex was just staring blankly ahead.
Lena sat down beside her and took a beer and opened it. “You’ve never cried since,” Lena said and stared at Kara’s smiling picture, so bright and alive.
“You know, I’ve always complained how she’s so strong and I’ve been trying to catch up to her. I’m trying to be that, at least for each of you. And-” Alex said and stopped herself, she can feel it again the tears coming out.
“And I don’t know how she does it. How she’s so strong and holding back every emotion if she didn’t get to save one person, or if she almost didn’t make it out alive in a fight. I can’t do it.” Alex said and cried, finally, all the welled up emotions coming out. Lena hugged her and Alex let her.
“She has you, that’s why.” Lena said “You both have each other, I see it every time. The connection between the two of you. You bring out the best in each other. You lean on each other.”
“Kara has you too, Lena. I saw how she becomes stronger every time she falls. She has that look on her face and I would congratulate her and ask. She would just shrug, smile and mention you.” Alex said and smiled. Both of them drank and stared at Kara’s picture and would share memories of Kara with them.
-/-/-/-
They fell asleep on the couch when a strong wind opened the window. They both sat up straight looked at Kara.
“Hey, Babe.”
“Hey, Sis.”
And they both fell back asleep on the couch. 10 seconds later they sat up straight again. Fully awake this time. The full boxes of potstickers now empty and the looked in front of them to see a Kara, eyes wide as if deer caught in the headlights and her cheeks puffed with potstickers filling her mouth.
She started chewing and swallowed slowly. “Sorry, I just feel really really hungry and-” Kara said and was cut off when Lena and Alex lunged themselves at her. She held them both in her arms.
“I love you.” Alex and Lena said. Finally saying it first to Kara. Kara hugged the both of them crying.
“I’m so sorry.” She said and hugged the two tighter. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
“You’re back,” Lena said.
“How?” Alex asked.
“I think it was the sunbed in full exposure,” Kara said.
She put them down and both of them started poking on her, started seeing if she is real or true. “Can I change? I want to be comfortable. What movie are we watching?” Kara asked as she started going to her bedroom. Lena and Alex followed her as if letting Kara out of their sight will make her disappear. They both followed her into the bedroom and Kara started changing and Alex turned around, Lena however stares but was stunned when Alex turned her around.
“You guys can turn around now,” Kara said and the did. Kara was about to put her shirt on and they both saw the healing scar on Kara’s side.
“You really are here,” Lena said as she steps closer to Kara and traced the evident scar. Kara winced a little, remembering the pain she felt.
“The scar will heal in no time. Maybe tomorrow if I stay under the sun.” Kara said and cupped Lena’s face.
“You came back,” Lena whispered.
“Well, I haven’t said I love you, to you when I left. I only wrote you a note but never said it to you.” Kara said and also looked at her sister. “To you too.”
“Well, we already know,” Alex said and smiled. “I’ll go in the kitchen and see if they deliver past midnight.” Thinking that the two lovers may need this time alone.
They both waited for Alex to close the door and Lena was quick to say I love you first. Kara smiled. “I love you too.” She said and hugged Lena. How it felt good to finally say it, with her being alive. She hugged Kara as tight as she can and pressed her ears against Kara’s chest. Her favorite music is beating loud and clear. She looked up, only to be met by a warm and responsive lips against her.
“I love you,” Lena whispered it. “I love you.” She said it louder and again and again in between kisses they share. There and then she made up her mind to say it everyday and every time she’ll get the chance. She won’t wait for Kara to say it first anymore.
Tomorrow may never come for that I love you to be said. They both know that and now, they are not afraid of tomorrow because they have, now.