She ran. Long limbs striding out, feet pounding hard on the pavement with no direction other than forwards.
Her lungs gasped at the cold air, dragging it down deep into her body even as it burned. And still she ran.
Silent tears streamed down her face as she pushed her body forwards, muscles aching in protest as she pushed them to, and then beyond their limit.
She hadn’t eaten, hadn’t slept, had no energy, and yet the agonising pain in her heart drove her onwards.
Each footstep released a new emotion, a new thought.
How could the universe do this to the woman she loved? The woman who gave everything, every single day to patch people up, to keep them alive, who loved wholeheartedly and embraced everyone within that love. How could it be so cruel as to take the woman’s only child from her? To wound her so deeply?
A sob burst its way from her throat forcing her to break her stride.
She stumbled to a stop, chest heaving, bending forwards as she fought to catch her breath.
“It’s not fair”. The words came out garbled, catching in her throat.
“She. Doesn’t. Deserve. This.” Anger flared in her eyes, furious at the pain that she knew the woman she loved was enduring. Furious at herself that she couldn’t do anything to protect her from it.
She clenched her fists tightly in frustration, nails digging into her palms.
“No-one should out-live their child. It’s not the way things are meant to be.” She spat the words out, finding strength and relief in expressing her feelings, even if it was just to the wind.
She took a deep breath and counted to ten.
She needed to regain some semblance of control. The woman she adored needed her. Needed her to be strong. Needed her to be there.
“Shoulders back, soldier.” she commanded herself with a deep breath. She stood upright, finding that the familiar stance grounding and somehow reassuring.
It was time to go back.
Fiercely she rubbed the tears from her eyes and retraced her steps.
Half an hour later, she slowly opened the door of the house and crept upstairs to the bedroom. She gazed at the woman lying in the bed. She looked so small, so weak, so broken.
Carefully, she climbed onto the bed next to her, curling herself around the brunette, who quietly whimpered in her exhausted sleep.
“I’ve got you darling.” She whispered. “I’m here. Lean on me.”