little birds
Whizzer and Marvin fuck for the first time in a public bathroom a week later. They’re laughing slightly the whole time and it’s hot and sweet and Whizzer’s glowing for a whole week afterwards. Marvin starts coming in to the bakery every few days. Whizzer gets all the baking done at five am so that he can be on counter duty for his whole shift and talk to Marvin. They find out more about each other. Whizzer tries to open up more. It barely works, but at least he’s trying. Whizzer finds herself smiling more. Laughing more. He almost feels okay.
Meanwhile, Cordelia worries. She worries and worries. She worries that Charlotte doesn’t really like her. She worries that Charlotte works too hard. She worries that she’s not good enough to work at the bakery. She worries that her mom is faking acceptance. She worries that her brother is lonely at home in Brooklyn. She worries that Whizzer’s not telling her what he was doing in the years where he wasn’t in touch with her. She worries a lot.
She lays up at night, worrying. Staring at the ceiling. Biting her lip. Pacing the kitchen in the small hours, drinking tea, worrying. The thoughts fill up her mind, her throat, her lungs. One night she ends up sobbing on the tiled floor because she realises that in a hundred years she’ll be dead and she can’t fathom it. She worries and cries and cries and worries and Charlotte sits with her on the floor and holds her and strokes her hair until the worrying stops and Cordelia can breathe again. One night she has to sleep in Whizzer’s room like they would when they were kids because everything has changed so much so fast and it’s so scary and she can’t breathe. He says with the most love in the world that she needs to take a damn break. She’s working five days a week and studying the other two and she needs to take a hiatus or she’s gonna snap.
The next Friday Marvin goes into the bakery to buy challah and leaves with an offer to come to Brighton Beach for the weekend with Whizzer and his lesbian friends. He’s a little stunned, but smiling. Maybe it’ll be fun.