Chapter 2
Sometimes Tony missed Pepper because she was a great sub and an even better friend but then he remembered how their relationship crashed and burned and thought better of it. But at least they had a relationship first; he and T’Challa had a single glance at an airport and a pretty crappy conversation that so far hasn’t lead to anything. Tony half wants to reach out to see if something might work but that was more because he was lonely than anything and that seemed like a pretty stupid reason to start a relationship. At least he’d always have those news reports of T’Challa in that cat suit- literally- because there were some great shots of his ass in all those flips he did. When he told Pepper that she had laughed and smacked his arm, citing that he was a total pig. Which to be fair that was true.
He did wonder about T’Challa though, about whether or not the bond was even viable. Some weren’t for various reasons not that science had any sort of definitive explanation for anything soul mate related. There wasn’t much for orientation either though people believed that was a genetic thing for a long time, and how orientation mixed with soul mates was an even bigger scientific mess. No one could figure out why sometimes subs were matched with other subs, why Doms were sometimes matched with Doms, why neutral people existed at all, and until the nineties everyone thought switches were fake. That didn’t even touch on poly pairings and how those worked out. Tony figures that at least he didn’t have to deal with two soul mates that may or may not have had the same orientation as him on top of the rest of this mess.
That didn’t exactly make the T’Challa situation easier though and Tony was hardly an expert on relationships. He’d consider asking Pepper but that was beyond weird and Rhodey had his own shit so he was stuck wondering what, if anything, he was supposed to do here. Given their first and only conversation it didn’t seem like it was much worth it to try either, but then he was left with that pesky loneliness. Clearly he needed a wider friend base.
*
Pepper was more than used to late nights in the office, but she was not much used to interruptions, nor did she appreciate them. Natasha stands there with a bag that smelled like Chinese looking hopeful, “I um, got those noodles you like,” she says.
“How do you know what I like?” she asks, frowning.
“Tony. He was surprisingly attentive to your likes and dislikes,” she says, taking Pepper’s reaction as her cue to sit across from Pepper’s desk in a chair usually reserved for meetings.
“Not surprisingly. Tony knows plenty about anyone he cares about,” she says. The things he knew were usually odd though, like knowing the kinds of toothbrushes Pepper preferred but having no clue when her birthday was. He could recite a conversation he and Rhodey had twenty years before with perfect clarity but had no idea where Rhodey’s hometown was. Or the name of said hometown despite having been there several times. The things Tony remembered might be strange, but they were at least useful and it was nice to know that if she needed a toothbrush in a hurry she wouldn’t have to suffer with one she hated.
“I haven’t seen much evidence for that,” Natasha says though she doesn’t say it unkindly, more like she was actually lacking the observation. Pepper bites her tongue, barely resisting the urge to tell her that perhaps Tony didn’t like her enough to care about her habits. He knew Happy’s favorite show and why he liked it for gods sakes, she knew he paid attention. She just had no idea why he picked up on the things that he did.
“I’ve known him for more time than I haven’t and I dated the man for the better half of the last decade, I can assure you that if he cares he will learn things about you. How do you think all of your favorite foods were in the Tower at all times? Or how the workout space was equipped to handle super powered people? Those things didn’t magically happen, especially that workout room. It took a long time for him to gauge how strong Steve was and how to actually challenge him physically.” She knew because he missed their anniversary for the third year in a row, too absorbed in his work. Though in his defense he remembered two days before and she knew date memorization was something he found useless. So he had remembered only for her benefit.
Natasha frowns, “wasn’t JARVIS in charge of food?” she asks.
“JARVIS had no idea what any of you liked, someone had to figure it out and JARVIS hardly observed your eating habits. You were the only one he couldn’t figure out,” Pepper says. It drove him nuts for the longest time because Natasha didn’t seem to eat or drink around people at all. Sometimes she pretended to according to Tony, but she never actually ate anything. He weighed her food to test it and that was when Pepper decided that he was too obsessed and that he needed to leave Natasha be. She seemed to eat whatever was in her space though, just never in front of or around others. In the end the only thing Tony gathered on her eating habits was that she absolutely hated pierogies.
“Oh,” Natasha says, remaining silent for a long moment before placing her bag on Pepper’s desk, gently pushing it towards her. It wasn’t difficult to deduce what Natasha had picked up for herself- she and Pepper lacked similar tastes in Chinese food but she did get those noodles Pepper liked. She doesn’t say anything but she’s grateful for the food, sometimes it was difficult to remember to eat with so much to do. She used to wonder how Tony forgot to eat all the time- unless food was left everywhere for him to find- but now she understood and she didn’t have to worry about inventing groundbreaking technology too.
Natasha digs around in the bag before finding the sweet and sour pork she got for herself and pulling it out awkwardly, sitting back in her seat like she had no idea what to do with it. “Why are you here?” Pepper asks in an attempt to save Natasha from herself. She was curious after all as to why the sub appeared to be putting effort into their relationship when she spent so long running from it. If her last appearance was any indication she wanted something, but Pepper wanted to know exactly what was happening. She’d be better prepared that way.
Pepper suspects Natasha’s opening the container her pork was in was a distraction from her question but she allows it. “I just… I’m tired of running from things,” Natasha says in a low voice, “it’s never done me any good.”
“And what makes you think I have any interest in a relationship with you? No offense, but I’ve known you a long time and I haven’t seen much that makes me think we’d be a good match,” she says. It isn’t meant to be cruel; it was a simple observation and an important one at that. If she couldn’t depend on Natasha or trust her there was nothing that could be built on that.
Natasha’s lips tip up, “no one knows me, that’s the point. I’m nameless, faceless, everywhere, and nowhere all at once. I am what I was meant to be but I don’t want to be so I’m here trying to… to make roots. You seemed like a good place to sort of expand that- I’ve already done my best at building a relationship with Steve. You’re intelligent, dependable, observant, witty, caring- all things I find desirable in a partner. I know that I have been um… absent but I’m here now and I thought that maybe we could try to make something of this bond,” she says but her words sound hollow and stiff, like she’s rehearsed this a dozen times and forgot half her lines.
Pepper carefully picks up some noodles with her chopsticks and places them in her mouth, mindful of her lipstick. “Mind trying that again but without the clear monologue you rehearsed?” Pepper asks, raising an eyebrow.
Natasha shifts uncomfortably; avoiding eye contact with Pepper though the gesture is anything but an act of submission. More like she was trying her best to find some separation between them and failing at it. She finally gathers herself though and sifts a bit, mindful of her pork. “Look, I’m a weapon and nothing more. I spent the better part of my life believing I was nothing and no one and everything and everyone all at once and it fucked me up alright? I’m not supposed to have connections to anyone or anything so the idea of a soul mate- an undeniable biological connection I can’t just sever without a second thought scares the shit out of me, okay? And you already don’t like me, and I already don’t like Tony and that’s a problem to you. I can’t get rid of this connection so I might as well work with it only I don’t even know if that’s possible,” she says, throwing her hands up in frustration.
Well, that was honest at least and Pepper sits on it, eating her noodles while Natasha shifted around uncomfortably. “I’m not trying to manipulate you,” Natasha blurts out after awhile.
“I know you aren’t Natasha. If you were this wouldn’t be that difficult for you, it never is according to Tony. He was always impressed at the way you slipped in and out of identities so easily because he could never manage. And I don’t have a problem with you disliking Tony; god knows there are some days when I dislike him too. What I don’t like is that your dislike is based off false judgments and fundamental misunderstandings of how Tony works. You aren’t the first and I doubt you’ll be the last to write him off as a narcissist without ever considering that he’s more than what he chooses to show people.” Like Natasha herself, she wants to add, but she had no idea if that was true or not. Tony didn’t seem to think so but he had been hurt by Natasha more than once even after reaching out in his own weird way, he was hardly a reliable source.
That didn’t mean that she wouldn’t take his opinion into account though, because his opinions were founded on solid experience and she wasn’t in the business of being screwed over. But she did wonder what Natasha was like, really like, and as much as her better judgment warned her against it she was curious.
*
There were things Tony expected and then there was Hope van Dyne in his living room sitting beside a very uncomfortable looking Happy. She stands when he enters to room, extending her hand in a pretty business like manner and he takes it, plenty used to this kind of interaction by now. “I am a field of question marks right now,” he says, curious as to what drew the woman here when her father was uh… less than fond of Starks.
“I need a favor,” she says, pleasant smile still on her face as she sits back down.
“Uh… okay? Still a field of question marks, van Dyne.” Maybe that rift between her and her father was bigger than he thought, though he heard rumors of reconciliation recently. Maybe that wasn’t true…
“I need you to get the Ant-Man suit back and a little birdy tells me you have an in,” she says.
Tony sits down and snorts, “your little birdy tweeted too soon,” he says. There was no real way for him to contact Scott Lang and even if he did have a way he wasn’t entirely sure he’d do it anyways.
“The little birdy is reliable,” Hope assures him.
“The little birdy should shut his beak before he beaks off about things he no knowledge of,” Tony shoots back.
“Can we just say Scott?” Happy asks, interrupting them, “we can use Lang if you’re uncomfortable with that,” he adds.
Hope ignores Happy, “what are you on about?” she asks.
“I mean ‘hello, this is your conscience speaking. I know we don’t talk much’,” he says, imitating Scott’s voice to the best of his abilities. “Then that asshole proceeded to try and tear my suit apart from the inside out because your father- your father- told him not to trust Starks? That’s fucking rich coming from him- he was as cold, calculating, and heartless as Howard was and then some. He has some nerve judging me based off the actions of a man who is not me considering his own actions. The man has balls I’ll give him that,” Tony mumbles.
Hope, to her credit, doesn’t look impressed with this. “Why is it that when I have problems it’s always him that’s the problem? Look, we can argue about my father all day but we both know he’s an ass so how about we agree on that and move on. I need the suit from the little birdy,” she says.
“Get the little birdy to fly it to you using his delusions as wings,” Tony counters.
“I really think Scott is sufficient, we all know who the little birdy is…” Happy says.
Hope gives him a tight smile, “I would but the little birdy went and got himself wanted for international terrorism. So if you could go talk to your rumored little birdy and get the suit from my little birdy that would be lovely,” she says.
“Okay, who’s your little birdy?” Happy asks Tony.
“My little birdy is more like a very angry panther, and I’m not going to get bitten for some suit I couldn’t care less about,” he says.
“But if you do talk to your uh angry… panther you can try and work out that tense relationship and I get the suit back. Win-win,” she says.
“Oh I’d love to see how you think that conversation will go. ‘Oh hey, I know we’re on terrible terms, maybe we could work that out. Also I’m only here because a certain annoying wasp sent me to get her little birdy’s suit. Can we work it out baby?’” he mocks, making some kissy noises.
“Okay I have t admit I’m having a hard time keeping up, who’s the wasp?” Happy asks.
“I’m the wasp,” Hope says, “you owe me Tony. I beat up your bullies.”
Tony throws his hands up, “it has been like thirty years and you’re bring that up? You wanted to test how much you learned in those martial arts classes you were in, I didn’t get a say in whether or not you were going to bust that one kid’s nose! I don’t owe you for that!” Tony protests.
“I gave Justin Hammer a swirly for you,” she says.
“I risked my ass ruining like seven different projects of Pym’s only to have him blame my father for it and subsequently teach you little birdy that Starks can’t be trusted. I think I win considering your little birdy screwing me up has had drastic international consequences and Hammer only looked like more of a tit than usual,” he point out.
Hope sighs, “I didn’t want to have to do this but… we made a blood pact,” she says.
“You… there was… what the fuck do you rich kids do in boarding school?” Happy asks, horrified.
“The blood pact, seriously?” Tony asks, ignoring Happy.
“You’re a man of your word, I know because the last time I brought this up you went to that wedding with me so I didn’t have to get made fun of for being single again,” Hope says.
Tony groans, remembering that horrible event with a surprising amount of clarity considering how drunk he and Hope got just to drown out Pym’s bullshit. “We were sixteen,” he reminds her, “that was a long time ago.”
“Since when does a blood pact run out?” she asks.
“Oh for fucks sakes, I’ll try to get you your damn suit back from your stupid little birdy,” Tony mumbles, “but you owe me.”
Hope stands up and grins, “I knew I could count on you. And if by any chance you could get my little birdy back with it so I can wring his birdy neck I would be eternally grateful,” she says.
“Can I watch?” he asks.
“You can immortalize it on film,” Hope says.
“You’re the best. I’ve missed you,” he says, thawing a little. It’s been a long, long time since they’ve spent any time together but it was at least nice. Even if she only showed up here because of Scott and his damn suit. It still counted.
“I’ve missed you too Tony. I’m a little disappointed that you learned how to punch your bullies though, that was always my favorite part of our relationship,” she tells him. Yeah, didn’t he know it. She lived to beat people up and he was more than happy to let her do it.
“Well, I do have some fond memories of hiding behind you while you threated people but yes, sadly I do know how to throw a punch now. We should train together some time,” he says.
Hope nods, “I might take you up on that. We can use my little birdy as a punching bag,” she suggests.
“Oh, that sounds awesome. You should shrink yourselves down to pocket size and beat him up tiny style too. That’d be pretty amusing.” Or maybe he was a little biased given how absolutely fond of Scott he was.
“Hmm. Well my suit is finally completed,” she says, turning to go but she turns back, “and Tony, good luck with your uh… panther. The little birdy says you have a chance though.”
“Didn’t we establish that your little birdy was an idiot?” Tony asks.
“The little birdy might not have a brain on the best of days but this is the sort of thing he’s actually good with. And you’re a good man, even when you weren’t so much of a good man. I have faith you’ll work it out. You did manage to screw up like seven of Hank’s projects so flawlessly he thought it was Howard. If you can do that you can figure it out with the panther,” she says.
“Mechanics are easy, panthers? Not so much,” he says.
“Can we please just use names?” Happy asks, frowning.
“Good luck Tony,” Hope says, inclining her head and leaving. Tony sighs and sits back in his seat, wondering how the hell he was going to do this.