Lexa's story
“Lexa honey, lunch is ready”
“Five more minutes mommy pleaaaaaseee”
Sara Woods stood at the front of the house looking warmly at her 5 year old daughter who was sitting on their front lawn as she battled her two favorite action figures against each other, her other toys thrown around her as if watching the battle before them. Her daughter could get so entranced with these games, sometimes forgetting her surroundings and getting lost in her made up world of superheroes and villains.
“Okay, but that’s all you get honey” the mother shook her head smiling and walked back into the house to set the table.
Lexa carried on with the intense battle, she was so emerged into it she didn’t notice the two boys approaching her from behind but suddenly her other toys were being kicked around. She looked up to find two boys towering over her, they both had really long messy hair one dark the other blonde and it looked like they’d been running around the block for a while. Now they stood there laughing at what they’d just done to Lexa’s toys and the little girl was lost. She’d never seen them before, they looked older than her and she had no idea why they were messing with her- they still hadn’t stopped laughing… the brunette was getting annoyed by the second. How dare these jerks touch her action figures and be laughing about it- she doesn’t even let her younger brother touch them.
“Aren’t you supposed to be a girl?” the dark haired one asked then resumed his laughing.
“I am so what?!” Lexa stood up squaring her shoulders, trying to seem threatening- it didn’t work considering that the boys were much taller than her, they looked at each other and burst out laughing again.
“girls don’t play with action figures, YOU’RE A FREAK” the same boy said, much to the amusement of his friend as they took turns and started shouting “freak” “freak” “freak”.
Lexa was taken aback, no one had ever talked to her in such a mean way- she had never felt bad while playing with her toys, it was one of her favorite things to do and sure, she’d noticed that the other girls her age always played with dolls or dress up, but she’d always shrugged it off not thinking that what she was doing was… wrong… maybe she is a freak. She felt tears well up in her eyes, and then tricking down her cheeks, she didn’t know what to say she just wanted them to stop laughing and calling her names.
“BACK OFF FROM HER” suddenly another boy with messy and dark curly hair was standing between them, his back to her and his arms up in defense. Lexa recognized him immediately; he was Mr. and Mrs. Blake’s eldest son, their neighbors, and her parent’s longtime friends- Bellamy, she thinks she remembers. He wasn’t taller than them he was probably a year older than Lexa but that didn’t seem to faze the kid as he stood his ground remaining confident.
“Aww is this the boyfriend” the blonde haired boy mocked looking past him.
“You know you’re dating a boy, right?” the other one continued still laughing.
“You know it’s none of your business who I’m dating” Bellamy stepped up to them “as for Lexa being a boy, I don’t think you two are the ones to judge considering you’re… long… beautiful…shiny hair” he mocked, “So you better back off princesses. And next time try to pick on someone your own size” He finished, swallowing the lump in his throat. He had no idea where this bravado had come from; he just knew he had to defend the crying girl behind him… even if he got his ass kicked.
However to his relief the two guys instantly stopped laughing and looked embarrassed. They obviously weren’t expecting anyone to put them in their place, and mock them nonetheless. The dark haired boy started touching his hair insecurely trying to get it off his face and somehow make it seem shorter. It was hilarious really, to see a bully so affected by stupid and non meaningful words after he’d just made fun of an innocent girl half his age.
“whatever, come on Finn let’s go, they’re freaks” the blonde patted him on the chest and nodded towards the street, Finn still had his gaze stuck to Lexa and Bellamy, shooting them glares, still trying to fix his hair. “This isn’t over” he said finally before turning around and disappearing down the street.
After a moment Bellamy let out the breath he’d been holding in and turned to Lexa placing his left hand on her shoulder “you okay?”
Lexa, up to this point had been frozen in place, she shook herself out of it and looked at Bellamy, “yeah- yes thank you, for that” she nodded wiping the last of the tears off her face.
“hey, you know everything they said… that wasn’t true, don’t listen to those jerks and don’t let them make you stop enjoying what you love” he smiled at her warmly and proceeded to kneel down and pick up one of the action figures looking at it excitedly. “You have the new grounder one?” he asked almost jumping up and down.
“Yeahhh, mommy got it for me for my birthday, with this!” she hesitantly moved her hand revealing the blonde haired girl dressed in high combat boots and dark attire, she’d still been holding onto since the jerks showed up.
“Omg the sky princess” the boy gasped. “Can we play?” he asked her eagerly.
Lexa wasn’t used to playing with others, she always avoided situations in which she’d have to share her toys with anyone, but there was something about Bellamy that made her want to change her ways- other than the fact that he’d just stood up for her- he was nice and he seemed actually interested and excited about the toys. She found herself nodding. Sadly her mother chose that moment to pop her head back out.
“Lexa, it’s been 15 minu- oh hey Bellamy,” she noticed the boy holding one of her daughters *sacred* toys and smiled knowingly, “Lexa was just going to come in for lunch, you’re welcome to join sweetie” she addressed the young boy.
Bellamy looked to Lexa for reassurance that she’d be okay with it; the girl smiled at him excitedly and made her way into the house making sure he followed her. She knew she’d just made a new friend and she couldn’t wait for lunch to be over so she could go back out and test out this new guy on his superhero knowledge.
“So that’s basically how I found my best friend and my worst enemy all in the span of five minutes” Lexa finished, turning to look at Clarke who had a look of disbelief across her face.
“God how can a kid be that evil” she wondered.
“Well it only got worse from there” Lexa huffed, remembering all the things she went through because of an idiot like Finn, “once I started getting into soccer, me and Bellamy would always go to a park next to our neighborhood. Finn would always show up and find a new way to make fun of me… I never let it bother me, instead I always stuck to what I’m best at and challenged him to a game of soccer and I’d always kick his ass and embarrass him in front of all his friends” Lexa shrugged. “Then when he started high school he tried out for the team. Obviously he didn’t get in. that didn’t stop him from trying again every year. You should’ve seen the look on his face when I made the team this year- priceless “Lexa finished shaking her head in amusement.
Clarke laughed “well that’s not surprising, serves him right, I just wish I could’ve seen that…”
“you probably will, considering that I’m going to kick the living crap out of him the next time I see him” Lexa said her anger returning.
“Hey Lex, please stop, he’s not worth it” Clarke grabbed Lexa’s head and made her look her in the eye.
“Clarke, he hurt you, I- I can’t let him do this to anyone else anymore- Raven and Anya he- it’s not my story to tell, but he hurt them too and this needs to stop” Lexa’s anger was escalating with every word.
“Okay, okay Lex, you’re right. But we need to do this the right way- I’ll go to the principle and tell him what happened.” Clarke nodded her head repeatedly as if trying to convince herself; “there’s no need for you to get in trouble because of someone like him” she finished confidently.
Lexa looked hesitant “but Clarke...” the blonde cut her off with a glare, “okay no ass kicking… got it… I can still go off on him though right”
“Lexaaa” the blonde sad sternly with a hint of amusement.
“Well what about-“
“Lexa no- nothing, I won’t let you get in trouble because of him” the blonde said seriously ending the debate.
“…okay, I won’t go near him, I promise- unless he tries something again then all bets are off the table” Lexa said the last part in a hurry so Clarke wouldn’t interrupt her.
Clarke rolled her eyes playfully “you know I can defend myself right”
“I know, but it doesn’t hurt to have an extra hand, well except for Finn, it would definitely hurt that jackass” Lexa replied a devilish look on her face.
“Omg you’re impossible” Clarke laughed, bumping their shoulders together.
They both looked at each other smiling in silence. It felt weird how this night had gone full circle- even after everything that had just happened the two girls were back to how they had started off their night- joking around and just enjoying each other company. It felt so natural between them, as if they’d known each other their whole lives.
“Hey Clarke” suddenly Octavia popped her head in through the corridor smiling warmly, “I’ve been making Bellamy chug coffee and pizza for the last 30 minutes, he’d be happy to drive you and Wells home whenever you’re ready” she smiled one last time and retreated back into the kitchen.
“I guess I should get going before my parents start to worry” Clarke turned to Lexa in a huff suddenly realizing something, “ugh they’re never going to let me out of their sights once they find out about this”
“Are you gonna tell them tonight” Lexa asked.
“I’ll probably wait till the morning… I just- I wanna go to sleep and forget about it for a while.” The blonde made a movement to stand up, Lexa following her.
“Hey, I really am sorry I wasn’t there for you when-“Lexa said looking at her feet.
“Lexa, you need to stop apologizing I swear to god” the blonde said a hint of amusement in her voice. “And for what it’s worth, I really was having fun before that- because of you” Clarke finished giving her a shy smile.
Lexa visibly turned red at that and for a moment the girl couldn’t form a reply, “I’m glad you did, I did too- had fun I mean” Lexa managed. They looked at each other, both smiling like complete idiots but none of them making a move to start walking away. Finally Clarke seemed to remember that she had to go, she leaned in quickly and wrapped her arms around the unsuspecting brunette, and before she could even react and hug her back the blonde was pulling away saying “see you around Lexa” and walking away.
“Text me when you get there” Lexa managed to blurt out after a moment following Clarke to the front door where Bellamy and Wells were waiting.
“I will” the blonde smiled at her one last time and went out the door.
Lexa watched them until they got in the car and drove off; she closed the door behind them and leaned back on it letting out a huge breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding.
“God I’m so gay” she huffed out to no one in particular. The thought had been in the back of her mind for as long as she could remember. But that was probably the first time she’d voiced it out loud, even to herself.
Lexa had grown up surrounded by guys all her life, her best friends were all guys, except for Anya and that was her cousin. And while everyone always teased her about possible crushes on such friends, especially Bellamy, she really never felt that ‘connection’ everyone talked about or dreamed about. It got to the point where she thought there was something wrong with her that needed fixing- she remembers one time in particular when someone really insisted that her and Bellamy should be a couple, to the point where Lexa actually tried to make herself fall in love with the boy, which obviously didn’t work- if anything it added to her disgust of anything non platonic ever happening between her and her best friend.
Then when she was 12 she met a girl named Costia, she was her age and to Lexa’s surprise at the time, the girl also played soccer- really well for that matter and the two had hit it off immediately. For a whole summer they were glued at the hip, they did everything together and Lexa, for the first time in her life felt something for someone other than friendship, at the time she didn’t know what to call it. She’d never heard of girls liking girls, so she’d just pushed it aside until one day before the end of summer Costia moved to another city and she never heard from her again.
One day, a couple of months after that summer, Lexa was at Anya’s place hanging out with her cousin when the latter told her she needed to catch up on the latest season of grey’s anatomy. The 13 year old at the time was bored and had never really watched any kind of TV series, so she agreed and they’d settled on Anya’s bed with the laptop laying between them. A couple of minutes into the episodes two girls kissed and Lexa audibly gasped, to Anya’s amusement. The younger girl was so confused and needed some kind of explanation as to why girls were allowed to kiss, to which her cousin replied “it’s called being gay Lexa look it up” still laughing lightly at Lexa’s face. What Anya thought was a simple forgettable moment, changed Lexa’s world completely- the brunette finally had a word for what she was feeling and she couldn’t be more excited. That was until she got home that night and started doing research on the matter. She quickly understood why she’d never heard about it before; being gay was frowned upon in most places around the world. It was considered a sensitive subject that you couldn’t talk about openly. It just wasn’t something easily accepted… From people calling them ‘freaks’ ‘faggots’ ‘dykes’ to others claiming that being gay was a trendy choice… but it didn’t feel like a choice to her- hell she’d even tried to fall in love with Bellamy and that didn’t work. So that night Lexa became scared, she knew she couldn’t be this way or else she’d lose everyone around her, so she bottled it up for all those years, taking comfort in all the movies and TV shows that started coming out (no pun intended LOL) that had good LGBTQ rep, and it was working – the brunette had burried her feelings so deep inside that they were almost impossible to dig back up, almost. The first day of high school proved to her that no matter what she did, those feelings would always find a way back to the surface.
The minute Lexa laid eyes on Clarke she knew she was in trouble. The first time they talked she knew she was in deep shit. I mean, in her defense, she couldn’t help it, the blonde was gorgeous and just so cute and beautiful and smart and funny and sweet and- well Lexa could go on for days. Lexa told herself she should keep her distance, but as it seems, her stubborn self wouldn’t even listen to her own advice. And well, now- now it was too late, she had a huge crush on a most likely straight girl and she couldn’t do anything about it, except maybe sulk in misery over her own stupidity. I guess it’s a rite of passage ‘falling in love with a straight girl’ she muttered to herself shaking her head as she made her way towards the guest bedroom that was always ready for her at the Blake’s house. She changed into some shorts and a tank and got into bed.
Just then her phone buzzed she looked at it and a dopey smile immediately formed on her face when she read the text,
*Clarke Griffin - 12:06*
“Got home safe, thanks again for tonight xo”
Lexa typed and deleted her reply at least 10 times before settling on “goodnight Clarke :D” sending it before throwing her phone on the night stand and burying her face in the pillows letting out her frustration “ughhhhhhh” after realizing how stupid she probably looked just then.
That night Lexa barely slept, turning over and over in her bed, her mind swimming with thoughts of the blonde girl and her impending heartbreak. She didn’t want to lose Clarke, so if that meant that she’d have to forget her feelings and be there for Clarke as a friend and nothing more then she has to suck it up and be the best friend the girls’ ever had. Yep best friend I can do that, easy. Yep.