Mates with Others
Clarke wakes up in a bed with Lexa by her side. Lexa is humming softly to her, caressing her cheek. Clarke doesn’t open her eyes right away, melting into the affection. When the blonde does finally open her eyes, it’s with a groan. Lexa immediately jumps into action, calling the doctor in. Lexa’s doctor Nyko, who came along to the ball in case Lexa needed him, eyes the two of them suspiciously but he will never say a word. The Royals have come to him for years with medical things that would destroy them if it ever came out. This is just another one of those times he supposes.
Clarke is blinking rapidly and looking around. Lexa is cuddling up next to her. Clarke instinctively pulls her closer, wrapping her arms around her swollen belly. She growls at the intruder.
“Clarke, it’s okay. Nyko is here to help you.” Lexa gently says and Clarke reluctantly nods and sits up. Her head is still spinning and she feels woozy.
“Clarke, it seems you have a minor head injury. We stitched up the wound on your side. You can leave in two days time after some rest.”
“I can’t wait two days.” Clarke grumbles out. “I - I have to..” Clarke looks at Lexa sadly and Lexa furrows her brow in confusion. What is Clarke so anxious about? What can’t wait two days? “My mating ceremony with Ontari must go on as planned.”
Lexa’s heart cracks. Of course. Clarke is still mating with Ontari. This is all a part of some greater plan she has.
“Mating is heavily physical. Your stitches could rip. I wouldn’t recommend it.” Nyko says.
“I’ll take it under consideration. And truly, thank you for all the help.” Clarke says politely. Nyko nods and leaves the room. She has to mate with Ontari and soon. It’s the only way to solidify their partnership.
“I’m sure Ontari would understand if you had to push back the mating ceremony.” Lexa pushes back Clarke’s hair and encourages the blonde lay back in her arms. Clarke does so. She even purrs a little.
“It’s not Ontari that wouldn’t understand. Lexa, there are politics at play here. The sooner we mate, the sooner our kingdoms are solidified. And that means nobody will strike against us. Right now, Ontari hasn’t risen to power officially yet. Ice Nation is weakened. We cannot wait.” Clarke says and Lexa nods. The omega knows this has to happen but she wishes it didn’t have to be this way. She knows her wishes are going on deaf ears though.
“I don’t even know why I’m talking to you about this.” Clarke mumbles sadly.
“I will always be here for you Clarke. You can talk to me about anything.” Lexa whispers into Clarke’s hair. “Sleep now.” Lexa murmurs. Clarke tries to resist the pull of sleep but Lexa’s tender whispers lull her into a much needed rest.
Clarke wakes up much later to a snoring Lexa huddled into her side. Clarke smiles and leans forward to kiss the tip of Lexa’s cute little nose. Reluctantly, Clarke pulls out of Lexa’s embrace and gets up to get dressed to face the Ice Nation court. Ontari is most likely dealing with all the council members and needs Clarke by her side in a show of support. Having a Queen by her side will to do wonders for a quick and easy ascension.
Lexa, still asleep, whines at the loss of her alpha’s warmth. Her arms flail a bit in search of Clarke, settling on the pillow Clarke was just laying her head on. Lexa still has a frown on her face but seems to have calmed down. She starts snoring again, her mouth slightly parted. Clarke chuckles and kisses her jaw. Lexa is so beautiful. She doesn’t understand why she’s here with her in this moment. She is carrying Costia’s baby. Where does Costia even think she is right now? Clarke shakes her head. She can’t worry about this now. For now, she must focus on her actual to be mate. She has to focus on securing the safety of her people.
Clarke enters the throne room and is met with great applause. Everyone, and I mean everyone, kneels in her honor. Queen Nia was wildly unpopular and Queen Clarke has now slayed her. She is gone, no longer able to terrorize these lands.
“Queen Clarke.” Prince Roan kneels down in front of Clarke. Clarke smiles politely and greets him. Prince Roan is second in line for the thrown behind Ontari. He is a good beta. He is also on the council.
“Thank you for fighting in the good name of your mate, our family. We welcome you to the family.” Roan says appreciatively.
“Thank you Roan. It’s an honor.” Clarke replies, helping Roan up from the kneeling position.
“We have convened the council to discuss Ontari’s ascension to Queen and your mating. We agree that it is best if you two mate as soon as possible. Preferably tonight. And then tomorrow morning, we can begin preparations for the crowning ceremony, naming Ontari Queen and you Queen consort.” Roan says as they approach the council.
“Queen Clarke, I’d like you to officially meet our council. Duchess Echo Azgeda, my sister Princess Costia Winters, Duke Charles Pike, Noble Hannah Green, and her son Monty Green.”
Clarke smiles at all of them, even Costia. She observes them all and notices the hostility in Pike and Hannah’s eyes.
“So it is official you and Ontari are to mate tonight. The ceremony may begin in an hour. I will have the servants prepare her old bedchambers.” Prince Roan says officially and the council disperses. Clarke approaches Ontari and kisses her on the cheek, all for show. Charles Pike and Hannah Green are watching them intently from the corner of her eye. Clarke pulls Ontari in close and whispers in her ear. To anyone else, it would look like a lover’s embrace. But in reality, Clarke is quietly telling her of her suspicions of Pike and Green.
Lexa wakes up a few minutes after Clarke leaves. Sleepily, she rubs her eyes and trudges out of the bed. She’s not upset Clarke left the bed while she was still sleeping. She knows how eager Clarke is to mate with Ontari. It pains her deeply that Clarke is to officially be Ontari’s mate now. But there is nothing else that can be done.
Lexa yawns and stretches out her tired limbs. She waddles into the throne room just in time to see Clarke pull Ontari in close. The public display of affection makes her blood boil and her heart ache. Lexa hurries off before Clarke can see her. She flees to her room and decides to hide their until the mating ceremony begins. Lexa knows she needs to gather the courage to stand proud when her love mates to another later tonight. Lexa softly caresses her stomach and whispers her love to her and Clarke’s pup still growing within her.
///
The ceremony begins. The wide doors to the throne room open and Clarke and Ontari enter, hand in hand. Lexa tries to block it all out. The vows are exchanged and it’s sealed with a kiss between her alpha and Ontari. It’s all a blur. Lexa stares at the ground throughout the whole ceremony, desperate to keep the tears at bay. The love of her life is in the process of getting a mate, a mate who isn’t her. They really have no chance now. Jealousy and sorrow boils through Lexa’s veins.
She refuses to look up as Clarke and Ontari leave to go mate. She refuses to make eye contact with her love. She refuses to show how heartbroken she is right now. Because if she does, she thinks she just might collapse. It’s all really over now.
///
Clarke buttons up her top and throws on some sleep shorts and her royal robe. Ontari is asleep now, tired out from the mating ceremony. Clarke is restless though. She can’t sleep. She can’t stop thinking of Lexa. But Lexa isn’t her life anymore. Ontari is. Her kingdom is.
She’s glad Ontari understands that she will never love her..or at least not in the same way she loves Lexa. Clarke is in love with Lexa. But maybe years down the line, she can care for Ontari too. Ontari is ruthless in politics but she’s not a bad person. She confided in Clarke that she chose Clarke because she knew the blonde alpha was strong enough to end her mother’s reign. Ontari wants a better tomorrow for Azgeda, a tomorrow where her people aren’t oppressed and slaughtered by their own ruler. Villages starved day in and day out while her mother was well fed living a selfish power hungry life in the walls of the castle. Ontari doesn’t want that for her country and her people anymore.
Clarke respects Ontari deeply. She knows the omega seems mean, maybe even cruel to those who don’t know her. But Ontari is just a woman who knows what she wants. She’s ambitious and aggressive in her tactic, but nobody can say she’s not effective.
Clarke decides to go outside to the Ice Nation garden. She needs some fresh air from the pheromone heavy bedroom where she just mated with an omega that isn’t who her heart and wolf craves.
Clarke walks through the rose garden, bending over to smell the flowers. She hears footsteps and immediately turns around. It’s Lexa. They’re both clearly surprised to see each other.
Lexa looks purely shocked then just sad. Lexa stares at Clarke’s bitten neck with such pain in her eyes. She shakes her head and looks away quickly once Clarke uncomfortably clears her throat.
“What are you doing here?” Clarke asks softly, careful not to get any closer to the omega that still smells too good for someone with a true mate.
“Couldn’t sleep..” Lexa croaks out, her voice cracks. She’s clearly very upset. The alpha nods. Clarke wishes she wasn’t the reason behind Lexa’s pain, but she knows she is.
“Shouldn’t you be with your mate?” Lexa asks just above a whisper. It pains Lexa immensely to ask Clarke about her mate. Lexa doesn’t say the words with any malice or bitterness behind them, just pure sorrow and grief.
Lexa’s nose scrunches up in disgust. She can still smell Ontari’s scent all over Clarke. Lexa swallows hard. She heard rumours that Clarke and Ontari slept together before this moment, but smelling it and seeing the mating marks on her former lover’s neck is just too much for her.
“Couldn’t sleep..” Clarke’s voice is quiet just like Lexa’s. There’s a beat of silence between them, neither quite sure what to do or say.
“Remember when we used to play together as children in the rose garden just like this one in Arkadia?” Clarke says with a sad smile on her face. Lexa mimics Clarke’s facial expressions with a sad smile of her own.
“You had the best hiding place. I never knew where you would go.” Lexa says gently. “I still don’t.”
“The big white oak tree.” Clarke chuckles as Lexa’s face frowns in confusion.
“You hid in the tree?!” Lexa stutters out. “How did you climb that fast? I only counted to 30 seconds.” Lexa asks baffled. Clarke just chuckles more at how surprised Lexa looks.
“I’m a fast climber.” Clarke smirks.
“That tree is a good 80 feet.” Lexa shakes her head, refusing to believe it as a possibility.
“Well I didn’t climb all the way up. Only until I was hidden by the branches and leaves.” Clarke said smiling. “You used to always fall asleep after lunch under that tree. And I would just sit there and stare at how beautiful you are. I have so many sketches from back then. Some are even stick figures. I always knew you were special. I still do.”
The air changes between them. It’s heavy. Both look sad again, their presents catching up with their memories of the past.
Lexa’s eyes finally fly to Clarke’s. “Clarke…” The omega sucks in a deep breath at the admission from Clarke. Her heart aches for those innocent days again.
Clarke smiles sadly and sighs. Clarke knows she shouldn’t be reminiscing with her love in the moonlight when their mates are fast asleep inside. It’s not fair to any of them.
“I should get back.” Clarke rasps out and Lexa nods, looking away again. It’s too hard to look at Clarke right now, knowing that she just was in bed with another. Clarke moves past Lexa and walks inside the castle again. Lexa walks a little more until she reaches a tree and sits under it. It’s not the oak tree that her and Clarke used to play under. This isn’t Arkadia. It’s Ice Nation. It’s colder and the tree looks sort of like a pine tree with a long trunk. But if she closes her eyes, Lexa can pretend she’s back in Arkadia, back with her Clarke all those years ago.
///
12 Years Ago
Clarke is 7 and Lexa is 9. Clarke is missing her two front teeth right now so she has a bit of a lisp. Her and Lexa’s parent just sat them down to explain that one day they will be getting married to each other. The girls are ecstatic. They love one another. They’re best friends.
Lexa and Clarke run outside to go play in the garden like they always do. They end up under the tree after lots of giggles and rounds of tag.
“You’re gonnas be my wife, Lexi!” Clarke exclaims excitedly and proudly. Lexa giggles and her cheeks turn beet red.
“I know.” Lexa says with a soft smile on her face. Lexa is a very quiet child. She doesn’t smile or laugh much...unless she’s with Clarke that is. Clarke brings out a side of her that Lexa never lets anyone else see.
“We shoulds practices.” Clarke says with a wide smile on her face.
“How do we practice?” Lexa asks curiously.
“We coulds have a play wedding!” Clarke says chirpily, getting more and more excited at the idea.
“Really?” Lexa asks with wide excited eyes. “You wanna play marry me now?”
“Of course, you’res my Lexa and I’m your Clarke.” Clarke says happily.
“Okay I’ll play marry you.” Lexa says seriously, butterflies going crazy in her stomach.
The girls run into the house holding hands, giggling and laughing. Even the most cold hearted of nobles look at them with a soft twinkle in their eyes, probably envious of the pure happiness and love on the girls’ faces.
“Mammy! Daddy! I’ms gonnas marry Lexa!” Clarke proclaims proudly, still holding Lexa’s hand. Lexa has a shy smile on her face, but her eyes show that she’s just as excited as Clarke. Abby, Jake, Gustus, and Indra chuckle.
“Of course you are sweetie. How about you wait a few years though yeah?” Jake says sweetly.
“No Daddy! We wannas play marry today. Pleeeeeease!” Clarke says with a smile on her face, her smile wide with two front teeth missing.
“And what do you say Lexa?” Jake bends down and ruffles Lexa’s hair. Lexa giggles. King Jake is so funny.
“I’d like to play marry Clarke.” Lexa says softly. Jake winks at the other parents and dramatically goes to sit in his throne.
“Alright then. As King of Arkadia, I decree a play wedding will be happening today.” Jake says in a formal tone and the two girls go giddy with excitement. Clarke drags around a giggling Lexa with her as she runs around with her nanny Callie, picking out flowers from the garden and baking cupcakes. Two hours later, Clarke and Lexa are under the tree they love so much giggling as Jake says some funny sounding vows.
“Will you take my Clarkey to be your best friend and play wife?” Jake says with a smile on his face. His daughter and Lexa are too adorable. He’s glad they love each other so much. Jake would never force Clarke into a marriage she doesn’t want, but she loves Lexa and they’re still mere children. One day, they will make great mates and amazing leaders, he just knows it.
“I will! I promise.” Lexa nods very seriously, reaching out to hold Clarke’s hand.
“And Clarke, will you take Lexa to be your best friend and play wife?” Jake says and Clarke smiles so wide.
“Of course I do Daddy.” Clarke chuckles as if her Daddy has just asked a crazy question. Of course Lexa is her best friend and play wife! Who else would be? In Clarke’s eyes, there’s only Lexa.
“Well then from the power invested in me as king of the lands, I now pronounce you to be play wife and play wife. You may now hug.” Jake says and the rest of the parents clap their hands and hoot out loud.
Lexa and Clarke hug tightly. When Clarke pulls away, she places a big wet kiss on Lexa’s cheek. The parents all ‘awwww’ and Lexa turns beet red, her eyes wide.
Lexa and Clarke always play games like this. Play teachers, play house, play marry. But this is their one and only play wedding. It’s suppose to be a cute little game, little kids still innocent and wide eyed. But now it seems like this is the only ‘wedding’ Clarke and Lexa together will see. Only time will tell if everything is as it seems.
///
The next morning Clarke and Ontari prepare for the greeting ceremony. The greeting ceremony is when all the nobles of the land come to greet and congratulate the newly mated couple. Ontari walks out of the shower in just a towel, humming along to some tune Clarke doesn’t recognize.
“After the ceremony, we should meet with the council again. You’re right, there is something off about Pike and Hannah. I want to get crowned immediately so we can kick them off the council and replace them with you and Kane.” Ontari says offhandedly as she starts to get dressed.
Clarke turns around surprised at the comment.
“Me and Kane? Ontari, that’s two Arkadians on an Azgeda council. Are you sure people will support your decision?” Clarke asks warily.
“They will respect us because we are to be their Queens. If this merger between Arkadia and Azgeda is to work, we will need to act on the promise. First, we should be implement Arkadian leaders into the Azgeda government and vice versa.” Ontari walks up to Clarke and turns around, her dress unzipped in the back. “Can you zip me up?” Ontari asks and Clarke nods.
“I hope this works.” Clarke mumbles.
“Oh stop being so broody.” Ontari chuckles. “Sometimes good things happen, Clarke. The world isn’t always out to get you.” Ontari kisses her cheek and walks away. Oh if only she were right.
///
The ceremony begins and it is formal and rather boring. People are approaching the couple left and right, wishing them the best in their mating. Ontari and Clarke eventually get separated on opposite ends of the ballroom. Ontari is chatting with Pike. Clarke feels wildly uneasy for some reason and starts to make her way over to her mate. A second later, Pike pulls out a blade. Ontari’s eyes widen in recognition. It feels like everything is going in slow motion, but in reality it all happens much too fast.
Clarke roars loud and the crowd immediately gasps and parts like the red sea. Pike turns around to see Clarke charging at him. She tackles him to the ground and not a moment later, her sword is pulled. The alpha in her takes over. She may not love Ontari but she is still her mate and nobody, I mean nobody, will harm her. Clarke’s sword stabs Pike right in his chest.
A gasps is heard from her right and Clarke looks up to see a sword in another person’s chest. But this time, it is Ontari. Her new mate. The raven haired omega falls to the floor, sword still in her chest. The crowd screams and starts running in all directions. Clarke’s wolf cries. It is much too painful a fate to have a mate die on you. Immediately, your mating mark dissolves. The whole sensation is wildly painful. For a moment, Clarke is paralyzed in pain. Her wolf whimpers and growls.
Hannah approaches her in her vulnerable state and pulls out a knife, pressing the cool blade against her neck.
Lexa is across the ballroom when she sees the blade touch Clarke’s neck. She cries out and tries to run towards her alpha. Costia holds her back, but Lexa fights her hold. Clarke can’t die. If Clarke dies, she has nothing left. Their child will never met their sire. Clarke will die thinking Lexa was happy and in love with Costia. She will die and Lexa will have nothing but memories and regrets of what should have been.
That’s when Clarke smells the distressed pheromones of Lexa and it jolts her into action. Her whole body is in searing pain from just losing her mate, but she perseveres. The rest is a blur to Clarke. She knows she kills Hannah next, then the noble accomplices surrounding her. A moment or two later, she’s in a pool of others blood. The alpha ripped out the throats of all those who killed her mate and all the nobles who were in on it.
“Clarke..please. Clarke, look at me! Are you hurt?! Clarke!” Lexa runs to her alpha. She saw the whole bloody violent battle go down. She never had seen Clarke kill before. Now she understands just how much Clarke has gone through in her absence. She briefly wonders how Clarke will get through yet another tragedy.
Clarke is covered in blood, whimpering on the floor. She’s staring at her mate, unresponsive. Clarke might not have loved Ontari but losing a mate, no matter the circumstance, is physically intense and emotionally jarring.
“Please Clarke, look at me!” Lexa cries out, kneeling next to her alpha. She cups Clarke’s cheeks and Clarke moves her gaze to meet Lexa’s. Clarke slowly blinks. Her lip juts out, trembling. There are tears in her eyes but they aren’t falling. Lexa pulls the alpha close and hugs her, pumping out soothing pheromones. Clarke’s whimpering doesn’t stop but her tense body relaxes slightly.
Prince Roan and Costia are at Ontari’s side, crying. None of them were particularly close growing up but it’s still their sister. Clarke is limp in Lexa’s arms, too broken and tired to even wrap her arms around the blonde. Lexa rocks back and forth with her alpha in her arms. She doesn’t see anyone else in that moment. Only Clarke.
///
There is chaos and confusion following Ontari’s assassination and Clarke’s mass killing of everyone who took part in the murder of her mate. Nobles are scurrying around. Prince Roan, Costia, and the rest of the council go into an emergency meeting. Lexa slowly gets Clarke to get up off the floor. Lexa guides Clarke to her guest bedroom, so Clarke can avoid the smell of Ontari in their bedroom.
She sits Clarke down on the toilet in the bathroom. Clarke looks at the ground, her eyes empty. Losing a mate..it really breaks an alpha’s spirit for some time. It’s one thing to undo a mating bond, but for a mate to die. That’s very hard to move past, even if you didn’t love the mate.
Lexa kneels in front of Clarke.
“Clarke, I’m going to take off your clothes okay?” Lexa gently says. Clarke is covered in blood from those she just killed. “Clarke, I need your permission.”
Clarke quietly nods, her eyes unmoving. Lexa unzips Clarke’s dress and helps the traumatized alpha out of her dress. Lexa briefly wonders if this is how Clarke acted after her parents death. Lexa doesn’t know how Clarke is going to get through this.
Clarke is in her bra and underwear. Lexa leads her to the shower and they step in together. Lexa is still in her dress but she doesn’t care. Clarke stands there frozen. She’s really starting to scare Lexa. But Lexa knows how mates are after they lose their mates. Her aunt lost her mate once. Her aunt refused to leave her room for a whole two weeks. Her aunt was inconsolable. She didn’t even fancy her mate either.
Lexa wipes away the blood staining Clarke’s skin. She washes Clarke’s body, being respectful and avoiding certain areas still covered by the limited undergarments left on Clarke’s body. When the blood is washed off, Lexa leads Clarke out of the shower.
Clarke’s hair is wet and curly. She stands in the middle of the bathroom, shivering.
“You should take off the rest of your clothes. You might get sick.” Lexa worriedly says, holding up a towel. Clarke nods, slipping out of her bra and underwear. Lexa refrains from looking at Clarke’s glistening wet body. She quickly wraps the soft towel around Clarke’s body. Lexa slightly caresses her cheek and Clarke shuts her eyes at the touch.
Lexa leads Clarke back to the bed and sits her down. The omega grabs dry clothes for herself and goes to the bathroom to change. When she comes back, Clarke is still in the same position. Lexa grabs some of clothes and hands them to Clarke.
“Won’t fit.” Clarke croaks out. It’s the first words she says since Ontari’s death.
“The shirt and boxers are yours. You left it in Trikru last time you were there. I...well I took it.” Lexa says quietly and sadly.
“Why?” Clarke whispers.
“Um..sometimes I sleep in them. They smell like you.” Lexa whispers back. Clarke looks up at her with an unreadable expression on her face. Her eyes are filled with anger though, Lexa can tell. Clarke shakes her head. She abruptly stands up and drops her towel, starting to get changed.
Lexa gasps and turns around. She doesn’t want to take advantage of Clarke’s vulnerable state right now.
“You have ruined me.” Clarke states coldly once she’s dressed in. Lexa whips around, confused and heart beating out of her chest.
“What?” Lexa says quietly, clearly shocked from the words out of Clarke’s mouth.
“My mate is dead and all I can think about is you.” Clarke says in an empty voice Lexa doesn’t recognize. She’s eerily calm, like a dam is about to break.
“Clarke..” Lexa starts and Clarke silences her with a growl. Lexa’s eyes widen. Clarke has never growled at her before unless it was in the midst of making love. But this growl. This low growl is quite different.
“I can never move on from you because you never let me!” Clarke barks out. Lexa suppresses a whimper.
“You’re upset b-because of w-what just happened. Don’t say something you’ll regret Clarke.” Lexa says in a low, sad voice.
“I have nothing, Lexa! You don’t know what this feels like.” Clarke snaps again, pacing the room. “I lost the love of my life years ago when she chose to mate another. Then I lost my mother and father to the family you decided to marry into. Then I found someone who understood me, at least politically. I was trying to protect my kingdom, her kingdom, and I couldn’t even save her from one lowly alpha! Now I am alone again.” The last sentence is said with such sadness that it stabs at Lexa’s heart.
Lexa didn’t realize how lonely Clarke’s life must have been these past few years. She lost Lexa and her parents. Clarke was much closer to her parents than Lexa is to hers. Jake was everything to Clarke. She was Daddy’s little girl. And when he died, a part of Clarke must have died with him. But Clarke has nobody in the walls of Arkadia to confide in. A royal can’t afford close friends.
She only had Raven and Octavia. But they both married their mates and moved to their lands in Trikru years ago. So Clarke really has no one. She is alone.
And Lexa. Lexa has Costia. Costia might not be her lover, but she’s grown to be a close trusted friend. And she still has her parents, even if they are not close. She has Anya and Lincoln too, who coincidentally are married to Raven and Octavia. Maybe Clarke is right, Lexa thinks. Maybe she really did ruin her.
“You’re right.” Lexa whispers and Clarke whips her head to look at her. She clearly didn’t think Lexa was going to agree with her. “I’ve been selfish. I - I have been holding onto you when I should have let you go. I never truly let you free. I keep trying to do the right thing but I end up doing everything wrong. I don’t know what to do anymore.” Lexa wipes the tears away. Clarke stalks towards her, but her eyes are still cold.
“Tell me the truth Lexa.” Clarke says evenly. Lexa’s lip trembles and she swallows deeply.
“I can’t.” Lexa rasps out and Clarke moves closer, until there is barely any space between them. Clarke smells the fear pheromones coming off Lexa and takes a step back, offended almost.
“Are you actually afraid of me?” Clarke asks, shocked and a little hurt. Lexa immediately shakes her head no. Lexa isn’t scared of Clarke. She could never be scared of Clarke. She’s just scared of the truth.
“No!” Lexa squeaks out. “I’m just..I’m scared you’re going to hate me.” Lexa whispers insecurely.
“Hating you would be impossible.” Clarke’s voice softens for a second before she clears her throat and straightens her posture. “Just tell me.” Her voice is back to being cold again, her face stoic.
“This baby is yours.” Lexa says the words softly, her eyes never leaving Clarke’s. Clarke’s eyes widen, shocked. Clarke thought that Lexa was going to say she doesn’t love her anymore, that she lied before because she pities Clarke. But no.
Clarke moves away from Lexa and kneels over, her hand onto holding a nearby to support her weight. Lexa waddles over to her. “Clarke?” But Clarke doesn’t respond. Lexa bites her lip and walks away, moving to sit on the bed until Clarke is ready to speak.
Clarke counts in her head, trying to slow down her breathing. She’s on the verge of a panic attack she can tell. Once she gets her breathing down, she straightens her posture and looks at Lexa.
“How could you lie to me?” Clarke’s voice is broken, not cold anymore just broken.
“I - I was trying to protect you.” Lexa stutters and Clarke scoffs. Lexa can feel the angry pheromones coming off Clarke.
“That’s a fucking cop out Lexa.” Clarke huffs, pacing the room.
“My father said he would claim you forced yourself on me. You would have been slaughtered. I couldn’t let that happen to you!” Lexa says, her voice loud and desperate.
Clarke growls out furiously, but not at Lexa. “I would never force myself on you or anyone.”
“I know. Clarke, I know. But my father’s words would have been enough to turn all of Trikru on you and that would be enough to convict you.” Lexa tries reasoning with Clarke.
“You should have told me.” Clarke’s voice is cold. Clarke shakes her head and suddenly her voice is much softer. “Where does this leave us?”
“What do you mean?” Lexa asks confused.
“That is my pup too.” Clarke says shakily. She hopes Lexa will recognize that fact.
“I know Clarke.” Lexa says softly. “But I am mated to Costia. We have to keep up the appearance that...that the pup is Costia’s. Both of our kingdoms can’t afford the scandal.”
Clarke growls loud.
“Please try to understand-” Lexa starts again but Clarke cuts her off.
“Oh I understand fully.” Clarke says bitterly. “Leave me the fuck alone.”
Lexa looks shocked, her eyes wide. “What? Clarke, I’m not just going to leave you-”
“You have had no problem leaving me in the past.” Clarke snaps back and Lexa looks like a kicked puppy. “Just get out. My mate has just died the day after we mated. And now this. You aren’t going to let me act as my own child’s sire. You are going to gift that title to your precious beta.” Clarke growls out angrily. “So I’m leaving. Don’t follow.”
“Please Clarke, let me finish talking. I still want you in our lives. I-”
“Just stop.” Clarke says, her voice exhausted and crushed.
Lexa wants to say more but she knows now is not the time. Clarke’s wolf is mourning. And now she’s found out her love has lied to her. It’s just too much for anyone to handle. Lexa watches Clarke walk away. She holds back her tears until she can no longer feel her alpha’s faint footsteps.
///
Prince Roan is crowned king of Azgeda one day later. He is a thoughtful ruler, the kind of ruler Ontari wished to be. He publicly expresses his deepest condolences to his dear ally Queen Clarke of Arkadia and thanks her for all she has done for Azgeda.
It’s been one month since the loss of Ontari and Clarke’s wolf is finally feeling itself again. She works day in and day out, avoiding all of her personal problems. Clarke is seen as ‘Wanheda,’ meaning ‘Commander of Death,’ by all the lands. Her swift slaughters of those who killed her parents and mate, is a tale that is told throughout the lands. She is a legacy, a beloved hero. Nobody will ever dare to challenge Arkadia as long as she is in power. She’s completed her goal. Her kingdom is safe.
Lexa has not heard from Clarke since the day she left Azgeda. She lays awake every night since, wondering what’s going on in Clarke’s head. She’s heard rumours that Clarke is much colder now. The light from her eyes snuffed out. But she prays these are just rumours. She isn’t sure what Clarke is going to do now that she knows Lexa is pregnant with her child.
Lexa spends the day in the gardens with Costia. Costia has been a dear friend to her, comforting her and assuring her that Clarke will eventually come to her when she’s ready. Lexa never imagined that Clarke would run off before she could fully explain. Lexa’s omega whimpers. Deep down, she knows Clarke would never abandon her and their pup. But her insecurity gets the best of her sometimes.
“Princess Lexa, you have received a letter from Queen Clarke.” One of the castle worker’s proclaims, handing her a letter with the Arkadia seal on it. Lexa’s eyes widen as she greedily grabs the piece of paper, the first correspondence from Clarke since her found out about their pup.
I’d like to see the pup once it’s born. Let me see our child at least once. You owe me that.
C.G.
Lexa swallows heavily. There is absolutely no warmth in the letter. Clarke didn’t even address is to Lexa. Lexa wipes the tears away and hands the letter to Costia. Costia reads it and sympathetically looks over to the omega. She rubs the girl’s back.
“Give her more time. She’s still coping with everything.” Costia says gently. “Come on, let’s go in for some lunch. You’re eating for two. You must be hungry.”
Lexa wordlessly nods and follows Costia inside. She misses the warmth of her Clarke. She wonders if Clarke will ever be the same again. She wonders if they will ever be the same.
///
8 months later
“Aden. You’re suppose to be asleep for another hour.” Lexa coos to the crying baby. Lexa smiles at her blue eyed baby boy and picks him up from his crib. Aden is just shy of two months. Clarke didn’t reach out to her during the rest of the pregnancy. Once news reached to Arkadia that Princess Lexa’s pup with her mate Princess Costia was born, Clarke sent a gift. She sent a beautiful blue teddy bear, a baby outfit, and a note. All the note said was “Arkadia looks forward to your visit with Prince Aden.”
So Lexa scheduled a visit to Arkadia once Aden was old enough to travel, which is now. Lexa lightly bounces her baby boy, wiping his tears away. He looks so much like Clarke. His hair is sandy blonde and his eyes bright blue. He looks nothing like Lexa or Costia. The nobles are suspicious, especially after word reached the lands that Lexa publicly rushed to Queen Clarke’s side twice in Azgeda - the first time when Clarke passed out after defeating Nia and the second after Clarke’s mate was killed. Gustus is furious but Lexa is starting to care less and less. Now that Aden is born, she only cares about doing right by her son and Clarke of course.
Aden is the light of Lexa’s life. She knows now that even if her and Clarke are never together again, they did one thing so so right. Aden Jacob Woods is her everything. He’s so smart, so observant for a small baby. His eyes are all smiles.
“I think someone is hungry.” Lexa speaks in a baby voice before undoing her shirt. Aden latches onto her breast and she hums as she feeds her son. Once Aden is done feeding, Lexa changes him into the clothes Clarke sent. The handmade sweater is blue and white with the Arkadian symbol crocheted on the back. The pants, hat, and booties are also knitted. Aden looks absolutely precious in the outfit.
“You sure you don’t want me to come?” Costia says as she walks into the nursery. Lexa looks up with a soft smile.
“No. Thank you though.” Lexa finishes putting Aden’s booties on, her eyes never leave her son. “This is something me and Aden have to do on our own.” Lexa takes a deep breathe. She’s going to see Clarke again.
///
“I don’t know why you insist on sneaking out every morning.” Niylah says with a satisfied smile on her face. “Nobody cares if you take me to bed.”
Clarke throws on her pants and gets up from the bed. “I don’t need the nobles gossiping more than they already are about me.” The alpha grumbles.
“What a moody alpha you are.” Niylah teases and Clarke huffs. “Perhaps this has nothing to do with the nobles.”
“What are you talking about Ny?” Clarke says as she puts on her shirt.
“Princess Lexa is visiting with her newborn today, isn’t she?” Niylah says with a knowing smile on her face.
Niylah is a beta and the daughter of Duke Miller, a wealthy landowner with the most properties in all of Arkadia. She would be a very suitable mate for Clarke. But Clarke doesn’t want a mate and neither does Niylah. They are just having some harmless fun.
“I don’t see what that has to do with anything.” Clarke says evenly, careful not to look at Niylah. She accidently and oh so drunkenly confided in Niylah that Lexa’s child is hers. But Niylah isn’t one to gossip.
In fact, Clarke has known Niylah for years. They were never that close as Niylah is a few years older than Lexa and Clarke. Niylah used to spend winters in Arkadia too while growing up. She’d be here at the same time Lexa was. During that time she had a long affair with Duchess Luna, who was married to Duke Derrick. Luna was older than Niylah and Niylah fell madly for the married woman. Eventually Luna broke Niylah’s heart.
Niylah’s father wishes for her to wed someone but she has no desire. She has grown to be a close friend to Clarke this past two months. Clarke was so angry for the first few months. Her whole life was so structured and exclusively for her country. Lexa was gone and Ontari dead. And now Lexa wants Costia to be named sire of her baby.
She just needed something for herself. So one night her and Niylah fell into bed after news came out that Lexa officially named Costia the sire of her son. Clarke was so angry. After a few months, she started to understand Lexa’s choice more. She still hates it, but she by no means could ever hate Lexa. Lexa will always be the love of her life. They’re both just trying to survive. After all, they are royals first and above all else.
Her and Niylah sleep together now just to get their own mutual frustrations out. It doesn’t mean a thing. There are no feelings. It’s just two lost souls searching for physical intimacy. It’s not soft. It’s rough and fast.
“She’s bringing your son with her Clarke. You have no feelings about that?” Niylah pushes Clarke again. Clarke growls.
“Of course I do! I just don’t wish to discuss this right now. Now if you’ll excuse me.” Clarke grumbles out and Niylah just shakes her head, her eyes smirking a tad.
“Like I said, moody moody moody.” Niylah whispers to herself before stretching and snuggling into the blankets for some more sleep.
///
Lexa’s carriage arrives and the omega takes a deep breath. Aden is fast asleep in her arms. She looks to her son and smiles, gaining the courage to step out of the carriage and into the castle walls. Lexa is led to the throne room where she can smell Clarke. The doors open and Clarke is sitting on her throne talking to one of her trusted advisors Kane.
Clarke’s nose scrunches up and she immediately stops talking to Kane, whipping her head over in Lexa’s direction. Clarke’s mouth is parted and her eyes are wide and frantic. She’s staring at the bundle in the omega’s arms. Lexa watches her alpha look at their baby for the first time. It’s heartbreaking.
“Everyone leave us.” Clarke’s voice booms out and all the nobles look a little shocked at Clarke’s decree. Nobody is foolish enough to question her though. The last noble to leave closes the doors to the throne room and it’s just Clarke and Lexa and of course baby Aden.
Lexa walks a few steps more into the room. Clarke transcends from her throne and Lexa has to suppress a whimper. Clarke looks strong, a perfect alpha. Her crown lays perfectly on her head, her makeup fierce. Both omega and alpha are pumping out nervous pheromones.
Clarke reaches Lexa and looks into her eyes. They aren’t as cold as they were last time they met. Now they are just sad but also filled back with the love Lexa missed dearly.
“Lexa..” Clarke breathes out.
“Clarke..” Lexa whispers, reveling in being in her alpha’s presence again. Her whole body is buzzing. The two stare at each other for what seems like forever. A soft whine that escapes Aden’s lips breaks their gaze into eachother’s eyes. Clarke stares down at the baby and she gasps, her hand flying to her mouth. Lexa sadly smiles.
“Can I..can I hold him?” Clarke asks nervously.
“Of course. Be careful, support his head.” Lexa says like a typical worried mom. Clarke smiles in awe at her son. Tears fill her eyes.
Aden’s eyes flutter open and Clarke’s blue eyes widen.
“Oh.” Clarke says stunned. Lexa looks at her curiously. “I didn’t think he’d have my eyes.” Clarke softly explains and Lexa smiles.
“He’s very much your son Clarke.” Lexa tenderly says, pushing back the pup’s blonde curls. Clarke looks up at Lexa, who is oh so close to her. “And no matter what the public thinks, he will know that.” The alpha’s eyes drift to Lexa’s lips and Lexa’s fall to Clarke’s. Clarke leans in a little, her nose ghosting over Lexa’s. Before Lexa can return the action, Aden gurgles. Clarke looks down at him and smiles.
“Sorry my sweet baby boy. I should be paying attention to how beautiful you are, huh?” Clarke coos and Lexa watches on sadly. She can’t even think about the kiss her and Clarke almost shared. It’s all too much right now. Lexa chooses to chalk it up to the emotions of Clarke meeting their son for the first time.
“I bet you’re an alpha. I can tell.” Clarke says proudly with a puffed chest. Lexa scoffs and playfully rolls her eyes.
“You alphas.” Lexa mutters and Clarke chuckles. Clarke bites her lip and looks like she wants to say something.
“Look Lexa, I’m sorry for how I acted. I lashed out at you. It was inexcusable.” Clarke says sincerely. Lexa nods.
“You were dealing with a lot.” Lexa tries to remind Clarke.
“Doesn’t excuse it.” Clarke says firmly.
“I know. But I understand. And I accept your apology.” Lexa says honestly. Clarke nods and goes back to looking at their baby boy. Lexa finally gets the courage to ask Clarke something that has been eating away at her. “Do you forgive me?”
Clarke looks up at her sadly. She looks back down at Aden and smiles. “Yes.”
Lexa lets out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. “You do?”
“You were doing what you thought was best. I know you never wanted to hurt me.” Clarke says sadly, her eyes now looking into Lexa’s. “We all are trying our best.”
“My best wasn’t good enough though.” Lexa says quietly.
“Mine wasn’t either.” Clarke quips back with a small smile on her face. “Let’s be better. For Aden.”
“Does this mean you want to be a part of his life?” Lexa asks hopefully.
“I always did. I’m sorry you thought otherwise. I was just so angry. I’m better now though. I’m trying.” Clarke says truthfully.
“Maybe we can be a little family after all, huh?” Lexa weakly jokes. The joke falls short and Lexa gulps.
“Maybe we can.” Clarke says with a smile on her face. Lexa’s face blushes, her eyes wide in shock. She didn’t think Clarke would say that. She thought she lost Clarke forever. What Lexa doesn’t realize is how right her joke actually is. They will be a family. They will get their maybe someday.