Questions and answers
In all Victors many millennia, no fear had compounded unto him as much as it had now. Every sin he was to bear now bore to him their weight, with many years came many sins, but none as heavy as the life he had taken, the life resurrected which was now gazing at him with all the hope and fear of a heart on the verge of breaking.
“ Yes, Yuuri..?” he breathed, a dreadful anticipation taking the place of air within his lungs.
“Victor...How did I die?” The question was tentative, poised with all the uncertainty of the unknown, the fear of what was to come.
“Come with me. It’s a long tale...It is time you knew, but please try to have some understanding.” with quick strides Victor made his way from the throne room, Yuuri falling in step behind him. If he could die of natural causes, the sun god felt as with the thrumming of his heart, it may soon burst. Perhaps that would be for the best, to show not with words, but with the feelings swirling within him how his guilt burdened him, how happiness had bloomed within the nights presence, how sorrow dawned on him with every moment he had lived with forgiveness which Yuuri did not know was asked for. “ Long ago, before man walked the Earth, there was light. Light to warm the flora and fauna that danced with the wind. Then, I was still new and I thought that there was me, and I was all there was in this small patch of the universe. I knew that my life gave the light, that all the suns were me and I was within all the worlds even though I was to call this one my home. Soon I had an understanding, I was not alone...Just beyond my borders, I could feel darkness. To me it was cold, terrifying, it extinguished my warmth and brought forth creatures that prowled within secrecy and shadows, using the trickery of darkness to kill. But within the world It was only me, and I did not have any like myself to protect, and so I let the darkness be, moving my light to the other side of the world when I felt those borders creep upon me. We created the cycle, the darkness and I, I had more domain in the summer, and with the cool of winter, the darkness would settle upon the land. Then, there were people. People who hustled and thrived within the light. Humans who grew and laughed, and begged of me to keep the sun. They petitioned and prayed to me to guard them, they crowned me as their king, and so I vowed to protect these people of the light. I do not know when those feelings of hatred towards all that was darkness began, but i allowed them to fester, and upon the arrival of dawn and dusk, I set out. My blade was made of sunlight and with my people in mind, I set to kill the light. For eons we would fight, neither winning, a true even match…until one day the night slipped, it was a simple mistake and I took my chance, with my blade of sunlight, I took his life...Your life, Yuuri.”
Silence stretched between the two, understanding coming to the god of night. Victor, unable to face the younger gazed to his kingdom below, instead focusing on the people of his kingdoms, the smiles which they bore, the happiness he could not have.
“ Yuuri, sorrow consumes me, ever present with all the voracity of greed, My heart has burst, and while i still reflect light, the shadows of my sins threaten to overwhelm me. I am suspended within my own emotions, my own grief and remorse. In the time when you were dead...I learned that the night was not all consuming, it was not evil...You are gentle, kind, there is light within you so different from mine. Yours is not harsh and blinding, and within your domain there is comfort. You govern your creatures benevolently, they want for nothing, your kingdom is fair in a way which I was unable to see from my hatred...All my life I have longed for a hand to hold, one which I would not burn, and all the while I had ignored the soft caress of your midnight hues which could hold my light. I have felt nothing but guilt and grief since that day, i cannot begin to tell you how happy it makes me that you are here...for every moment the sun is up, I wait to see the first stars, to map your constellations...I have no excuse for my actions, though I hope one day you can accept my apology, I do not ask for your forgiveness for I know I do not deserve it.”
“How long...How long was I dead? Did my people suffer with my absence…” Yuuri’s asked, voice soft against the enormity of what Victor had explained to him. Though he could not see Yuuri, he could feel the tide of his emotions washing up against him. The black tendrils of anxiety lapping against his ankles as Yuuri’s fears manifested. Though for his panic, Victor would remain calm, he would bear to him his story and his sorrow, but he would not beg for what he did not deserve.
“You were gone for many seasons...Your people clung to the refuge of the Darkwoods...It was not only your people who had suffered...As did mine, to them sleep would not come, crops withered under the constant heat, drought plagued the land...You are more important than you know, Yuuri. I am so sorry to have taken you from the world. I hope that through this we can continue to work together, for the benefit of our kingdoms at the least.”
Dark tendrils continued to grow, slithering over victor, weaving through the light he emitted, threatening to dim him. Finally turning to Yuuri, he watched. He watched as trails of stardust made their way down Yuuri’s cheeks. Tears of a god whom he did not deserve to call a friend.
“Yes… for...for the people” faint words accompanied by loud footsteps and louder sobs as the god fled, tendrils retreating with him.
Once gone, Victor allowed himself to collapse, sinking to the floor, not even thinking to plead after the man he had grown so fond of. Whatever feelings of affection he had, he’d vowed to suppress them as his presence would surely only cause Yuuri pain. The hatred he once fostered for the other god now recurring once again, this time directed at himself.
Resigning himself to his loneliness, with heavy heart he sent word to the fea of what had transpired. If Victor himself could not comfort Yuuri, he would at the least send someone who was capable, even if it meant facing the wrath of the fae. Yes, he would do whatever he could for Yuuri, even indirectly, and so for the first time, he set out to the temple of the God Of Night, to pray for the life which he took .