So Artfully Instilled Into Me

It wasn't displeasure that caused Alexander to draw back. Surely Maria was beyond lovely, and surely the feeling Hamilton got from her touch and her presence resembled satisfaction in a way Alex had craved so desperately as of late. Surely it was hard to say no to this.

But the difficulty in this act slipped tremendously when Alexander's mind wandered rather suddenly to John Laurens.

Naturally, Hamilton froze in place, and his thoughts launched into overdrive. Maybe they weren't seeing each other anymore, and maybe Laurens would be wanting him to move on and make the situation into something that, in theory, would be easier. And maybe when Alex was younger or if he lived somewhere else or had been seeing someone else, he would have thought this option easier, too. After all, the sooner nonstop Alexander Hamilton moved along and barreled forwards, the easier it would be for the pair of them to pick themselves back up and hide— or forget —what had been. But this was not easy for Alex, which was probably a result of John being the one in question. And, because of the unique circumstances surrounding the situation, Alex's mind was drawn to the words of his first friend in this new school, and perhaps his first real friend anywhere.

Aaron Burr.

All of a sudden, Hamilton let go of Maria, overcome with the resolve to do exactly what Burr had preached since their first conversation.

Alexander Hamilton was going to wait for it.

This was a bold action for Hamilton, who never really learned how to stop or take his time, like Aaron had. And it may have felt difficult. But was dropping his hold on Maria, being patient, and waiting nearly as difficult as what Laurens had done? John had done the unimaginable; he'd told Alexander that he loved him. And if there was one thing Hamilton was used to, it was proving himself. This would be no different. If John could admit he loved him, Hamilton could prove he was worthy of it, and that he meant it went the words were returned. And the way to do this was to wait. Restrain. Show self-control.

"I'm sorry," Alex said, leaning defeatedly away from Maria.

To Hamilton's horror, the fear that had been in her eyes spilled over into tears and the girl buried her face in her hands. "Oh, lord, I'm so sorry, I didn't know any better..."

"Oh, god," Alexander moved back to hug Maria, a cautious embrace. He continued, more to himself than to her, "How could I do this..."

Maria released her grasp, hastily wiping her eyes on her sleeves. "What do you mean? You didn't..."

Hamilton looked at her for a moment, then sighed. "We've got to call my friend. We're gonna help you, Maria. Here..." He rushed to pull his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it and talking fast. "My friend Eliza will be able to help, too. I'm hoping she could have you over for the night. She's really sweet and smart and if I've got her to help me on this we should have you safe and satisfied really soon. We're gonna call her now. Is that okay?"

Maria nodded. "I trust you."

She silently took Hamilton's arm. It was a gesture made out of the desire for comfort and the intention to thank him for his kindness in the way she best knew how, and it was one that was received warmly and in a friendly manner. Alexander dialed Eliza's number. The pair waited in silence, during which Hamilton's heart skipped a beat at the realization that perhaps Eliza wouldn't be awake and the call would go unanswered and he would have to come up with—

"Hello, Alexander?"

He breathed a sigh of relief upon hearing Eliza Schuyler's voice. "Hi, Eliza. I need your help. I hope I didn't wake you up or anything but I've got a bit of an issue and I could really use your help on it and—"

"No, no," Eliza was smiling, from what Alex could tell. "It's alright. What do you need?"

"Well. A surprise visitor showed up on my doorstep tonight in distress and disarray." Alex looked at Maria, who nodded and gave a sort of half-smile. "How about I let her tell it?"

"That would be lovely." Eliza said, her voice warm. Alex handed the phone gently to Maria, who took it carefully and held it to her ear.

"Hello," she said, and despite the softness and fear in her voice, Maria's confidence showed through her tone. Alexander could tell she was naturally a strong person. Whatever her boyfriend had done to break her this much must have been much more than just the bruises she hid. "I'm Maria. Um— Reynolds. We're in the same high school, but I've never met you... Maybe I've heard your name around. I came looking for Alexander; I heard he could possibly help me... My boyfriend is in college. He's trying to get me to be his fiancée, and he's been abusing me. I didn't know what to do, but I'd heard he might be able to help, so I came over and I..." Maria hesitated.

Hamilton was unsure of Eliza's precise reply; however, he was certain of several facts about it, including that it was very long, and that it, to his surprise, resulted in Maria smiling and breaking once again into tears. Alex wordlessly pulled her into another hug.

"They kicked me out when I was sixteen," Maria said quietly into the phone. She waited, listening. "No."

Alex's relief was nearly tangible. He and Eliza would certainly be able to help this girl.

"James Reynolds," Maria waited. "Okay."

There was a long pause during which Alex noticed the fear just slightly leaving her features.

"You would do that?" Maria's jaw dropped. She looked close to tears yet again. "Oh my god."

Alex ran a hand comfortingly through her hair. The gesture reminded him of John.

"Thank you."

Maria was going to be happy soon.

"Thank you."

Slowly, she moved the phone away from her ear, turning to stare at Alexander with wide eyes.

"So?" Hamilton asked, taking the phone back and sliding it in his pocket.

"She said I can stay with her as long as I need," she replied, looking awestruck. "We only need to walk over now. She said she lives nearby."

Bless Eliza Schuyler and her pure heart. She was perfect. Alexander had always known she was the best of women, and each day, it seemed she proved it more.

"Excellent," Alex grinned, standing up and extending a hand to Maria. "We'll walk over now, in that case, and get you situated before we think about what to do with a certain Mr. James Reynolds."

Maria shuddered slightly at the mention of his name, but nodded, and, taking Hamilton's hand, began to stand and walk with him to the door. She pulled her coat tighter around her and the pair stepped out into the night, bound towards the Schuyler residence.

"You seem lonely."

The pair had been walking for a decently long while, and Hamilton had been enjoying the blissful silence of walking by Maria's side with a protective arm linked with hers. Quite frankly, it was a wonder Alex wasn't talking, but it seemed enough to be walking long after dark, taking in the sights of the night and becoming lost in thought. Therefore, it took Alexander by surprise to hear Maria's voice beside him.

"What?"

"You seem lonely," Maria repeated. She slid just a bit closer to him, leaning a little on his shoulder compassionately.

"Oh." Alexander took a breath in. "It's possible."

"Why?" Maria was genuinely curious, another surprise to Hamilton. He thought for a moment. He was honest. He was always honest. But he was tired; he was so tired. Was now the time to launch into an explanation?

This was Alexander Hamilton. It was always time to launch into an explanation.

"I was dating John Laurens up until last week," Alex said quietly. "His father's homophobic and so Laurens needed to keep the whole gay-thing a secret from him because he's got a lot of siblings to take care of and they couldn't take it if he got disowned. And it'd be simple if I weren't— if I weren't in love with him, you know? And he admitted it, too, he loves me. And I suppose that until he left, I hardly knew the value he'd taught my heart to set upon him. I love him. I wish I could just make it so we could see each other again without risking ruining his life. And I know it sounds dramatic as hell, Maria, because I suppose it is. I wish he didn't have to have taken advantage of my sensibility. I wish I could just be angry and done and get it over with, but I can't. I just..."

Maria blinked, waiting for him to finish.

"I just can't help forgiving him. Which is ridiculous; I never forgive people. But with him... I've got to go, I've got to win him back. It really isn't his fault. Just looking at the cost and all that we've lost..." Alex's defiance flared for a split second before a flicker of defeat once again crossed his expression. "I guess we really are just generally indulgent to the people we love."

Maria nodded, squeezing Alexander's hand lightly. "You won't be lonely for long, then."

Alex gave Maria a weak smile. "I hope I can show it. By action, not by words."

Maria smiled in return. The gentleness conveyed a certain acute understanding that Hamilton gave a brief nod of acknowledgement to before returning his attention to the night air.

The rest of the way was treaded in silence. Hamilton rather enjoyed it; in the absence of voices, he could focus only on the empathy between the two of them. There was a mutual connection there that had been forged incredibly quickly, and Alexander found it surprisingly fulfilling. And it helped that Maria was naturally affectionate, and that she was compelled to show her emotion through action. Hamilton found it easy to form a tie with this girl, and he was beginning to feel like she might be helping him as he was helping her.

It seemed his life was just becoming more and more unpredictable.

"Well," Alex said finally, coming to a stop before a long pathway, "This is it— the Schuyler house." He cracked a grin. "Breathe it in."

But contrary to his teasing tone, the look on Maria's face was one of complete awe, and in her eyes Alex suddenly recognized all too well the impulse to run. He'd felt the same overwhelmed feeling so many times, whether it was in the airport in the city or in the foyer at Laurens's house or the very country itself. Maria's eyes seemed to be crying out words Alex had heard in his own mind far too many times.

I don't belong here.

Hamilton thought of Maria, tense beside him, and he thought of the girl waiting in the grand house before them. He held Maria's hand tighter. "It's alright."

"But I—"

"We'll make the world safe and sound for you, okay?" Alex's sincerity calmed Maria, if only slightly.

She took a deep breath. "Okay."

Next thing she knew, Alexander was leading her up the driveway and up the path to the door, texting Eliza that they'd arrived with his free hand, and talking a stream of comforting words near her ear. He was right, too. The world was beginning to feel safer. Maria vaguely wondered what Eliza looked like.

She had such a sweet voice.

Once they reached the door, Alexander didn't have to knock; it opened immediately to reveal a reasonably tall girl with a bright smile on her face. She looked between Alex and Maria.

It wasn't hard to tell that she was every bit as sweet as her voice.

"Come in, it's so cold out there," Eliza said, holding the door open for the pair of them. Her long, silky hair was pulled back into a ponytail that draped over the back of her blue robe, and her eyes were dark and warm as she led them through a long, elegant hallway to a kitchen. "I started heating water for tea for you; I figured you'd both need some. I have sugar, milk, and honey, too, and we can go to the sitting room before we get you up to my bedroom. Unless you'd prefer the guest room, although I wasn't sure you'd like to be alone." Eliza paused, pouring three cups of hot water and popping teabags into each one. "I don't think I'd like to be alone if I were going through this." Eliza gestured for both of them to sit at the counter. "I don't pretend to know the challenges you're facing, Maria, but I'm not afraid. It's all going to turn out alright."

Maria blinked. "Thank you so much. I... Thank you so much."

Eliza smiled wider, and Maria felt like melting. If she'd wanted sweet tea, forget honey; she would have just asked for this girl to dip even one finger in her tea for it to taste like a thousand sugar cubes had been dissolved in it.

"Your room would be perfect. Eliza, you're too kind already," Maria said, regaining comfort. Alex's hand in hers was helping, Eliza's beautiful smile was helping, the warmth of the mug that the Schuyler sister placed in front of her was helping.

Maria felt equally helpless and completely supported at the exact same time.

Alexander smiled at Maria, his eyes harboring an almost-smug glint. "I did tell you Eliza would be amazingly helpful, didn't I?"

"Oh," Eliza laughed lightly, stirring honey into her own tea. "We each play our part. Alex, you're already so incredible." She turned to Maria, the corners of her lips still turned up in a caring smile. "Would you like to move to the sitting room? It'd be much more comfortable."

Maria did her best to match Eliza's shining smile. "I would love that."

"Betsey," Alexander took a gulp from his mug, eyes closed momentarily, "You're a goddess."

"So Alexander is going to bring it up with school administration as well as services at Reynolds's school, and we'll notify as many resources as we have to. Until our claims get through, you'll stay with me and we'll help you however we can," Eliza repeated the plan, gingerly unfolding a lavender blanket and spreading it across the top of her bed. It had been decided that both Maria and Eliza would be happiest if they both used Eliza's queen-sized bed, if only for the time being, as Maria got comfortable in a new setting with her future so precariously balanced on the actions and caprice of her new friends. And they were friends, indeed; Maria had so quickly developed a bond with Hamilton that she hadn't expected, and this Eliza... She was something else. She seemed too sweet and too good to be true, but here she was, right beside Maria. If only Hamilton hadn't left before Maria had gotten the chance to tell him how suddenly taken she was with Eliza Schuyler... She was just so into her. And, admittedly, things were beginning to look up for once in her life.

Maria sat down on the edge of the bed, running one of Eliza's hairbrushes through the knotted mess that was her hair. "Thank you so much. For everything."

The earnestness in Eliza's eyes was quite near shocking to Maria. Was she even for real? Or was she comprised entirely of sugar? "We'll do whatever it takes. We just have to lay a strong enough foundation, and go from there." Eliza sat down beside Maria, and her voice quieted. "You said your family disowned you because you're bi?"

Maria nodded hesitantly, lowering the brush from her hair. This girl was living a dream life, and she didn't want to screw up the opportunity to be part of Eliza's narrative by bringing up her old, twisted struggles... "About a year and a half ago."

"That's terrible," Eliza replied, true and aching sympathy in her voice. It was not condescending. It was inexplicably comforting. In a natural gesture, she reached out and took Maria's hand in her own. "Maria, you're such a strong person. We're going to pull through soon, I know we will."

Maria could only stare at Eliza Schuyler in awe. "You're beautiful."

Eliza flushed beet red. "I..."

"I'm sorry, oh," her hand flew to her mouth. For the second time tonight, she'd made a mistake like this—

"No, no," Eliza said graciously, looking away and then back at Maria again. "Thank you. I hope you know how beautiful you are, too."

"Oh." Maria felt her heart swell. "Thank you."

The middle Schuyler sister's smile grew slightly. "I think I know what you really need."

"Hmm?"

Eliza nodded. "Some sleep, for sure." With that, she leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to Maria's cheek, then got up to continue arranging the room for its unexpected guest.

For someone who was having one of the darkest days in her life, Maria was flying high; thanks, no doubt, to the electric feeling of warmth Eliza's lips had left on her cheek. The words were clear now, and believable as ever.

Everything was going to turn out alright.

"Mr. Hamilton."

It was Alex's first council meeting back in the treasurer's position at the same time as Laurens, and if someone had been keeping track, they would have found this was the twelfth time Washington had used this interjection.

"Careful, there," Jefferson teased in a low voice, "First meeting back, wouldn't want to upset anybody."

Alexander glared at Thomas. Regardless of their shared hatred for Lee, they still lacked the means to get along when it was just the two of them.

"Thomas, sit down. Alex, relax. When Lee gets back from the bathroom, you can spread slander and have catfights all you want, but first, we have to actually settle this." Angelica looked as generally unimpressed as usual, and her eyes flickered with disgust at the obligatory mention of the council president's name. "Alright. As a group"— She glanced around the room, from Madison, wrapped in magenta and holding a travel mug with two teabags' labels hanging out, to Burr, propped up on one elbow with an intent expression on his face—"we're going to have to sort through proposed clubs and figure out which ones can and will happen. Reports aren't due yet, but I figured if we can start with what we have—"

"You can take your seat, Angelica."

Everyone looked towards the door, eyes following Lee as he walked towards the podium at the front of the room.

Angelica looked rather taken aback. "Lee, I would appreciate it if you'd let me finish. If we start with—"

"Take your seat, Schuyler." Lee raised his chin in a display of perceived authority that only made his features look even more conceited than usual. Alex felt his temper begin to flare.

Angelica shut her jaw, visibly enraged, but refused to return to her seat, crossing her arms and standing where she was at the front of the room before Lee's reentrance.

Regardless, her jaw looked as though it had no intentions of remaining shut.

"Okay. So we're not starting any clubs this year, at least until we get all the proposals filed. Even then there's only about one slot, so..." Lee trailed off, his fingertips resting on the podium.

"You don't have the authority to make that judgement yet," Hamilton said, immediately compelled to protest.

"I do and I did."

Jefferson sighed. It seemed he and Alex were once again in agreement.

"How much privilege do you think you have, Lee?" Alex stood, slowly but surely. "You're arrogance and ignorance rolled into one—"

"Mr. Hamilton." Washington was growing irritated, too.

"That's the most childish thing I've heard all day." Lee snarled.

Thomas let out a laugh that was absolutely dripping with scorn. "Have you heard yourself speak today, Charles?"

"I'd suggest you watch your mouth," Lee replied.

Alexander was terribly close to pointing an accusatory finger at Lee. "Our mouths aren't the ones doing the terrible leading around here—"

"You're all ridiculous," Angelica snapped. "Can we discuss one thing in this room without acting like toddlers?"

"Why don't we move on? Cover other matters?" Washington's voice interrupted the argument. He shook his head. "Are these the students with which I'm to organize a council? Everyone, we'll discuss one last matter before dismissing the meeting. And," he aimed a pointed look towards the group at the front of the room, "I'm in dire need of cooperation."

The council fell silent as Washington flipped through an assortment of paperwork, scanning a page towards the middle of his pile. "We have to talk about planning events."

There was a collective groan from the majority of the council, and Mulligan called out a sullen, "So many dances, so many expensive dances," to which several students voiced agreement.

"I know," Washington held up a hand, "I know. However..." He skimmed the paper, then glanced at the four students at the front of the room. His eyes came to rest on Thomas. "Mr. Jefferson."

The secretary walked briskly to Washington's desk, taking the paper from him with a flourish. He proceeded to read the page, clearly taking his time. If he intended to irritate Lee, he was succeeding— and he seemed to be killing three birds with one stone, too.

"Enlighten us, Jefferson," Hamilton said, tapping his fingers on the podium. Angelica and Lee looked equally agitated.

"Right." Jefferson glanced up, and it suddenly became evident he was concealing a grin. "It's a plan."

"For what?" Lee attempted to see the paper, stretching his neck, but Thomas snapped it back against his chest, effectually hiding its contents from prying eyes.

"A dinner."

"A dinner?"

"A dinner," Thomas repeated, his smile breaking out. He glanced down, clearing his throat and reading an excerpt off the paper. "It's a proposal for 'a dinner with only three selected members from this council, at which pressing matters can be discussed in a productive and private environment.'"

Thomas looked from Lee, to Hamilton, to Angelica. "We get to choose three people from the council, host a dinner, and hear from the people themselves about the issues in this school."

"I guess I just don't get why you're grinning, Thomas." Hamilton's dry tone matched his impatient posture.

Jefferson raised his eyebrows, cleared his throat once more, and made a show of returning his eyes to the page. "'The council secretary will choose one council member to definitely accompany them to the event, and the other attending member will be elected by the council as a whole.' This dinner has been hosted only twice before and has led to the creation of three clubs, one budget plan, and one reelection of a council official." He paused, glancing at Washington. "This is how we're going to get things done."

"Let me see the paper," Lee demanded, eyes flickering between Jefferson's face and the paper in his hand. "You're lying, I know it."

Thomas only smirked, lazily handing the sheet to the council president.

Lee's expression quickly revealed that Jefferson had not been bluffing.

"When is this dinner being held?" Hamilton asked, taking the paper from Lee and searching the page.

"Whenever it's needed." Thomas inspected his fingernails.

"Who's arranging it?"

"The secretary arranges everything. The menu. The venue. The seating."

Lee looked nearly ill with anger. "You know what, we can change that." He snatched the paper out of Hamilton's hands, marching past Jefferson with an intentional shove to his shoulder and slapping the paper down on Washington's desk. "I'm the president. Meeting dismissed."

Hamilton and Jefferson's eyes met.

This dinner was really going to be something else, wasn't it?

Washington shrugged, suppressing irritation at Lee, and addressed the group. "Mr. Jefferson, work on planning. Meeting dismissed."

Hamilton walked as quickly as he could to his backpack, trying his best to avoid looking at the one sight that so sorely demanded his attention. But, as was sure to happen, it became impossible to even pretend to ignore John Laurens when he walked cautiously up to Alexander.

"Hey, Alex," John began. His smile was as it always was, only with a hint of unusual sadness reflected in his eyes.

Alexander looked up from his bag, and his eyes were immediately drawn to John's freckles. Why did he have to carry the sun on his skin everywhere he went? It wasn't fair. None of this was fair.

"I hope you've been taking care. I know this week's been... Rough." John took a deep breath and looked away. "But hear me out. I understand if you don't want to, or if you're busy, but... I was hoping you'd come with me to go out for some fries and root beer? I know I sound like an asshole asking. But..."

Alexander certainly didn't think so. How could this make John an asshole? Alex knew just as well as John did that the end of their relationship was something neither of them had wanted. And Alex knew that if John had the choice, he never would have ended it to begin with. It wasn't fair in the slightest, what had to happen, but Hamilton understood.

It wasn't fair in the slightest, but foul is fair just as much as fair is foul.

Thus, Alexander held out hope that this foulness would soon come to a fair conclusion.

"You're never an asshole, and I would love to," Alex replied, and he broke into a smile. "Today?"

Laurens grinned, his face a combination of relief, joy, and apparent adrenaline rush. "Yeah. Now, actually, if you're free."

"I'm absolutely free," Hamilton replied, shoving his last books into his overstuffed bag. "And I'll keep it acceptable for general audiences, so Henry Laurens doesn't flip his wig."

John laughed a little. "Okay." For a moment, it seemed as though he was going to put an arm around Alex, or reach for his hand, or peck him on the cheek— all natural, subconscious actions —but John clearly had his thoughts on his impulses and inclinations. And so the two walked out of the room to head for the parking lot side by side, just close enough together to satisfy each of them for the time being without provoking thought of anything more than a typical close friendship.

However, whatever focus Hamilton and Laurens had on the perception of their actions was quickly consigned to oblivion when they happened upon the display that now covered one wall in the stairwell.

Certainly the large writing on the wall, the bold strokes, the scope of the sight, was enough to catch the two off guard. But it was the content that chased immediate fear of judgement from John's mind. He took a full step back, eyes squeezing shut, his hand reaching suddenly for Hamilton's with an alarming urgency. In Laurens, there was now a sudden, pressing necessity for comfort.

Alexander stared at the graffitied wall, unblinking. It was not uncommon for homophobia or bigotry to be verbalized in conversation in the halls, which was bad enough, but this— the ugly, public display of complete hatred that lay before them —was more. This could absolutely not go without mention, without fixing, without the guarantee that nothing of the sort would ever happen again. Hamilton held onto John's hand. The world seemed to burn around him. This was not fair.

It was only foul.