crashing

Serena got in the lift and went up to the top floor to see Hanssen. She was really angry when she reached Hanssen’s office. She knocked on the door and went straight in.

“What is it Serena I was just on my way out” said Hanssen as he got up from his chair

“Well I’ll keep it short you must know about Bernie by now” Serena said

“Well not really I was just going out to talk to Fletch he wanted a chat about her” Hanssen Explained

“I will save you a trip right now” Serena Suggested

“Go on then” said Hanssen as he sat back down

“By now you know that I told Bernie I love?” Serena asked

“I did hear that from Jac but I told her it’s none of our business” Hanssen explained

“Well after I said that to her she ran out on me” Serena explained

“And what’s any of this got to do with me?” Hanssen asked

“when I found her she had totally broke down, it seems she’s got PTSD and been trying to hide to for the last few months and now it’s all come to a head. She self-harmed herself
3 times yesterday and ended up being taken to the psych ward I wasn’t allowed to visit her for 24hrs.” explained Serena

“As per the rules, she will be well looked after there” Hanssen explained

“Yeah that’s what I thought but she isn’t” said Serena in a scared tone

“In what way not being looked after” asked Hanssen

“I noticed she’s got bruises on her arms and torso, I also saw some of the staff manhandling a young woman on the ward I want you to do something about it” Serena asked Hanssen

“I need to come take a look first” said Hanssen as he got up out his chair

They both got in the lift and went down to the ward to see what was going even before he got inside he could see through the door that a couple of patients were being manhandled he was shocked why had nobody reported this before. Hanssen thought for a moment, he was going to have to arrange an emergency meeting about this and find out which staff is responsible for the failings in this ward.

Serena rushed back to Bernie’s room as she could hear a load of raised voices one of the nurses were standing over Bernie trying to get her to eat something, but Bernie wasn’t listening she was just sat there staring into space shaking. She had the look of terror in her eyes.

“What are you doing?” Serena asked the nurse

“Trying to get her to eat something, she’s not touched anything since she came here yesterday” the nurse explained

“Well shouting at her won’t help, she was asleep when I left what have you done?” asked Serena angrily

“Soon after you left she woke up I sat her on the chair again” said the nurse

Serena rushed over to Bernie’s side; Bernie hadn’t even noticed she was there. Bernie was much worse now than when she left her half hour ago. It’s like her mind wasn’t even in the same room any more.

“You’re meant to get better in here not worse” Serena yelled

Bernie was a shell of the person she once was. Serena came over and knelt next to Bernie. For the first time since Serena had been in the room Bernie looked at her. The look on her face was a desperately sad one Serena couldn’t bare it but loved Bernie so much she knew she had to help her.

“Bernie love come and sit on the bed” Serena suggested thinking that if she got Bernie on the bed she might finally get some sleep. Bernie held Serena’s hand and stood up she moved a few paces forward then collapsed. Serena gasped

“Bernie Darling” said Serena

“This is your entire fault” Serena shouted at the nurse “now go get some help”

The Nurse ran out the room and Hanssen came rushing in. He scooped Bernie up in is arms and placed her on the bed.

“What happened?” he asked

“According to that nurse Bernie has been sat in that chair since she got here yesterday and she won’t eat or drink and they haven’t even stepped in to help her” Serena explained

she was trying hard not to cry she couldn’t bare to see Bernie like this. She just wished she could take all her pain away, but she knew it wasn’t that easy
Hanssen went about examining Bernie looking her over.

“Looks like shear exhaustion plus lack of food and drink has caused her to collapse” Hanssen explained to Serena as he tried to find a vain quite a lot of them had shut down due to lack of fluid.

“Something needs to be done here” said Serena

“I agree I’ve planned a meeting for half-hours’ time to see what can be done” Hanssen explained

Serena was sort of relieved to see that Hanssen really wanted to do something here to sort it out. Finally Hanssen managed to find a vain and get some fluids in to Bernie.

“She should be fine and wake up soon, let her rest I will be back later” Hanssen explained to Serena as he left

Serena pulled up a chair and sat next to Bernie holding her hand. She wasn’t going to let Bernie out of her sight or anyone else look after her well not for now she wasn’t letting anything else bad happen to her. She sat there watching Bernie she looked so peaceful just lying there she looked like nothing was wrong but that was far from the truth. She smiled at Bernie she really was more beautiful than anyone she had ever seen. Serena wished more than anything to just snap her fingers and it would take all of Bernie’s pain and suffering away but she knew that wasn’t how it worked. Serena had been sat there over an hour when Hanssen came back in to the room. Hanssen sat on a chair next to Serena.

“So what’s the outcome of that meeting you just had?” Serena asked

“Well we have identified several areas that are failing in this department, one of them being some of the staff. We have found a few that were mistreating the patients and sacked them also put in place stricter rules when finding replacements to try and insure that this sort of thing doesn’t happen again” Hanssen explained

“At least that’s something” said Serena with a sigh of relief as she sat holding Bernie’s hand

“I will be back sometime tomorrow to check everything is as it should be here” said Hanssen as he left the room

Sometime late in that day Bernie woke up, for a moment everything was blurry and she couldn’t focus. She really couldn’t tell where she was all she knew was her head hurt a bit. Bernie moved slightly but her whole body ached a lot, she had no idea what was going on. All of a sudden she heard a voice she knew the voice but couldn’t place it for a moment. Then it all came back to her she gave half a smile. Serena stroked Bernie’s fringe out of her eyes. Serena always regarded Bernie’s overgrown fringe as one of her best features. Things then started slowly coming back to Bernie where she was, why she was there and what was happening. She laid there quite still for a moment, she felt quite embarrassed about what she put Serena through. Although she realised what had happened it still felt to her like it had happened to someone else and she was watching not being able to help or do anything about. She felt ashamed tears silently rolling down her face. Serena noticed Bernie was crying

“Hey, Hey what’s those tears for” Serena asked Bernie as she moved closer

“I’m sorry for what I’ve put you through, I’m horrible” Bernie coughed

Serena handed Bernie some water. She took a sip as she looked up at Serena.

“No you’re not you’re just ill and I’m going to help you get better” Serena smiled

Bernie smiled back she always loved the way Serena smiled she’d watched her from afar for months now it was really one of the only things keeping her sane all these months. Then she realised the one thing she wanted more than anything was Serena to say she loved her, so why did she run away run away from her when this finally happened? She couldn’t quite work it out. This too felt like watching someone else’s life and not her own. With no control over anything. She hated that too thinking that she had hurt the one person she loved so much. Serena could see the sadness in Bernie’s eyes once more; she lent in to give Bernie a hug. Bernie put her arms around Serena she loved the warmth and security it provided. She felt like she wanted to hold Serena tight and never let her go again then nothing bad could ever happen.

“How are you feeling now?” Serena asked Bernie

“Tired and my head hurts, I can’t seem to switch off so much stuff going on in there all going around at a 100mph” Bernie explained

Serena managed to get Bernie to let go which was quite hard because she had hold of her quite tightly. Bernie just lay there she hadn’t the energy anymore to get up or even move. Serena came back with the Dr who gave her some pain relief. She sat there stroking Bernie’s hair. After some time Bernie fell sleep. Serena sat there watching her for a while when her phone vibrated. She realised it was a text message from Morven. It was just asking how Bernie was and she was around if she wanted to chat. Serena text her back now might be the best time to let everyone else know what was going on. She told Morven to meet her down in the staff room on AAU.

Serena made her way down to AAU; she didn’t really want to leave Bernie but thought it might be for the best just for a bit she couldn’t watch over her all the time. She made her way into the staff room where Morven was waiting for her with a sandwich and a cup of coffee.

“How’s Bernie?” asked Morven

“Not in a good way mentally” Serena replied

“It’s only to be expected after what she went through” Morven said

“It’s worse than that I caught some of the staff abusing some of the patients up there” Serena explained

Morven looked shocked “Including Bernie?” asked Morven

Serena nodded “I found her sitting in a chair terrified she’d been there all night not slept or eaten a thing. I helped her to the bed she was sleeping or so I thought when I got back
she was sat in the chair again they was trying to get her to eat something well forcing her” a tear went down Serena’s face “They was shouting at her” Serena explained she couldn’t believe this was going on let alone to the one she loved “She was terrified when I got there”

Morven couldn’t believe what she was hearing “Did you inform Hanssen?” she asked

“Yes and he’s hopefully sorted out the problem” Replied Serena as she bit into the sandwich which turned out to be cheese and pickle one of Bernie’s favourites she smiled “Bernie loves cheese and pickle”

“It’s all pulses had left” Morven explained “So what’s happening with Bernie now?”

“To be honest I don’t really know yet I’ve left her to sleep” Serena replied “when I finally got her up to sit on the bed she collapsed it was lucky that Hanssen was there to help. He’s also replacing half the staff in the department after what happened”

Morven was shocked she couldn’t believe what she was hearing “hopefully now the only way is up now she’s getting the right treatment” said Morven

“Let’s hope so” Serena said she tried not to cry but that didn’t help Morven could see right through her she got up and gave Serena a hug, she could see this has all gotten on top of Serena. Serena was glad she had someone there who could listen to her.

“After I told Bernie I loved her and she ran out on me I thought I’d blown it and that was it, turns out none of this were my fault she’d been bottling it all up hiding everything from us. I never noticed a thing” Serena explained

“I did wonder why she had been acting strange lately but I’m not one to pry Bernie is quite a secretive person” Morven replied

“She really is and is finding this all too much” said Serena

“Give her my love” Morven said as Serena got up

“Think I better get back to Bernie just for now at least” Serena explained as she left the room “can you please tell the others for me?” Serena asked

“Sure” Morven said as she gave her half a smile “I’m always here if you want to talk, it’s not just Bernie that needs supporting you do as well”
“Thanks for listening” Serena said she entered the lift.