Beginnings
Overwhelming. I knew there would be a bit of a culture shock when I arrived, and I mentally prepared myself for the city, but I never would have guessed it would be this bad. Haven, Ferelden was huge. I knew I could have thought of a more creative word choice to use in my head, but it simply was huge. Skyscrapers, pavement, people and pigeons covered the entirety of the city in every corner. It was both exciting and unnerving. Living with my clan in the reservations, the national parks had been my playground growing up; completely different from the concrete jungle I was now surrounded by. I had even shed a tear at the site of the thinning of the green as I moved further and further away from my home. I was lucky to be in a place that if you choose to drive a few miles out you are soon again covered in forest and mountains. I wrote a mental reminder to try and get out every weekend to hike lest I lose all sense of self and my sanity. I was against moving here originally, elves weren’t greeted very kindly in the city and usually were forced to live in the ghetto and shady parts of town. My mother though insisted that I get a better education. And to do that- off to the city I went. Even though we had a steady income it wasn’t enough to pay for full time school. So my mom picked up a double shift, as did my father and went to work on saving as soon as I turned 15. University was never an option, it was an expectation. To lessen the burdens I did my best in school, earned my good grades and a steady 3.8 gpa. I received a few scholarships thanks to that fact, also because of my affiliation with my clan. And surprisingly for cross-country as well. Something I started for fun in high school quickly became a passion and motivation for running. After freshman year I always made it to finals. My Junior year I was in the top 10, my Senior the top 3. I received offers from many colleges, it still however would not be enough without overworking my loving parents.
I would have left sooner to find a job if it weren’t for my mother bursting into tears when I told her I would leave early. I had never backtracked so fast in my entire life. The conversation went down like this: I was pacing back and forth right before dinner, which did nothing to hide the stress of my decision I had been working out in my head for weeks prior. I knew my sweet mother would react horribly but I could have never guessed this reaction. Anyways, there I was pacing in the hallway of our modest home, drowning out the sounds of my little brothers running and screaming about and the news on in the living room. They were covering the elvhen activist group that was “terrorizing the city” again with peaceful protests. Yeah, right.
“CHILDREN! DINNER!!” my mom had yelled from the kitchen. I walked to the old oak table as slowly as humanly possible. As I sat down I pretended to be caught up in texting my friends, when in reality I was scrolling endlessly through Facebook looking for a distraction. My heart was pounding so hard, I swear anyone near me could have heard it. My brothers hurriedly sat down, squirming in their chairs and continuing to bash their toys into each other.
“HEY! No toys at the table.” she scolded them as she placed the spaghetti on the table. My mother’s blue eyes sought my own instantly and narrowed in suspicion before she spoke, “You know I can always tell when something's bothering you. You might as well speak out now. It ain’t going to do you no good to keep that all in.”
“Well…” I started before my father opened the door suddenly covered in filth and concrete from head to toe. His morning were spent constructing fancy lodges and vacation homes for rich people who rarely visited.
“Dear, I love you, but if you drag concrete into my house one more time I’m going to have a fit.” My mother said as she kissed his cheek. My father just laughed as he removed his outer layers and left them by the door. “You better take care of that!” she warned.
“Of course Mari, creators bless the soul that thinks they can dirty your house without punishment.” My father smiled at her lovingly. My parents were still ridiculously in love even after 23 years of marriage. It used to be disgusting to me growing up, as I grew older I started to wish and pray that I could receive even half the amount of love my parents had for each other.
“Amen to that,” my mother replied under her breath. “Aen'aya don’t you think I forgot about this. What have you got to say young lady?”she called out from the kitchen adjacent to the table.
I breathed in and out a few times before speaking. “I was thinking, and I- I have thought about this for a while…. I should leave right after graduation.”
“Leave what?” she asked.
“Leave home. I should go to Haven early.” The sound of my mother dropping the pan of sauce followed by a very loud shit echoed throughout the house. My brother went instantly quiet and stared at my mother in the kitchen. My father mumbled something along the lines of “here we go” as he sighed aloud. Then came the sound of my mother sobbing. I stood by my chair in utter shock. My mother was a loving woman, but she was also a stern, blunt, hardworking, independent, don’t take nobody's shit kind of woman. To hear her cry was rare and I didn’t know what to do. My eight and ten year old brother stared wide eyed in shock from me to my mother and back again. Tamlen, the ten year old, even glared.
“Is it me? Do you not want to be around me?” she cried holding a sauce stained table rag in her hand..
“NO!” I ran to my mother’s side, grabbing another hand towel and proceeded to kneel on the ground helping her clean up the mess. I could hear my dad start to dish the two up and distract them with questions about school. “Mom, no, it’s not you at all! I just thought if I left early I could make enough money to help out with tuition and books… mom, I love you a lot. You would never be the reason for me leaving.”
“I thought,” she hiccuped as tears ran down her face, “we told you-” hiccup, “not to worry” hiccup, “about the money.”
“I know that but-” I started.
“You are my only girl,” hiccup, “do you know how much I love being around you?” She started sobbing again.
“Mom, mom, I know how much you love me, look I’ll stay if you want me to!”
Hiccup, “Re-really?”
“Yes really, if it mean that much to you I’ll stay.” My mother smiled and hugged me tight. I don’t think that could have been any worse. I would have preferred that she was angry, guilt wasn’t something I dealt with well. Later that night I talked to my dad alone about convincing my mom to let me leave just a bit earlier. After weeks of pleading our cases, she finally agreed under the condition that I would call her every day that I was their early. I agreed in earnest.
And so here I was in front of a hipster-esque earthy styled cafe.The place was called Herald’s Rest, located near Skyhold University, soon to be my university in a month. I laughed at the irony in the word “rest”, I had trouble imagining many people actually resting here, probably just stressed out, over-caffeinated students rushing to finish their work by the deadlines. When I walked in though, I was greeted with the pleasant scent of select coffee, and fancy foreign teas whose names I couldn’t pronounce. The aromatic blend of both scents was almost too much for my nose, but somehow stayed overall relaxing in smell. The walls and floors of the shop were concrete, with one wall and back splash of brick behind the counter- definitely hipster. The menu was written in script on a blackboard with chalk that took over half of the wall behind the bar on the left. The bar was painted a deep forest green, as where most of the tables. Comfy lounge chairs, low tables with pillows, and antique looking chairs covered the first floor. Directly in front of me was a little loft on the second chair that held plenty of desk space and seemed to be reserved for studying students. White mage lights spotted the shop hovering a few feet above the tables, occasionally moving from one to another. One of the workers must be a mage. Brightly colored graffiti covered the right side of the wall, the main picture was of a woman with both hand held out, in one hand was the world and the other an open cage. She was blue and had that third eye symbol on her head. The artistry was actually quite impressive, swirls of multiple colors surrounded her and went across the walls. Someone must have placed a charm of sorts onto it because she moved. Actually moved. Not only her but the colors actively swirled around her. It was amazing. What I thought was more splashes of green paint was actually another graffiti mural on the floor. This was obviously done by a different artist, you could tell by the difference in colors, overall style and execution. The mural was beautifully colored white, gray and blues wolves running through a moonlit forest and howling to the sky. Literally running. The mural was not extremely large as to not make the store look overwhelming, but large enough to marvel at the intricacies and small details that covered the ground. In elvish script below the mural were the words “Fen’harel ver na.” I noticed they faded out and in whenever anyone stepped on it. I laughed at it. “Dread wolf take you”, I doubt anyone even understands it.. It was obviously placed there for the oblivious human customers who would repeat the saying in foolishness, unbeknownst to them, that they were cursing each other. The irony was both funny and daunting.
Behind the counter making coffee out of a sleek and most likely brand spanking new expensive coffee machine was the most flamboyantly gay man I had ever seen. Dressed in skin tight black leather pants, a red flowy blouse, a grey apron and black glittery 6 inch strappy heels was the man I presumed was to be my boss. His outfit put my closet to shame. Looking down at my own black ripped jeans, my pink and white baseball tee, and black foot wraps I felt severely underdressed. Even his makeup was beautifully executed, his black cat eyed liner was perfectly symmetrical, his gold highlighter suited perfectly to his skin and the dark red lipstick was kiss worthy. He had dark black hair, dark brown eyes and a face that would make even straight girls swoon. Funny enough there was a pretty thin blonde human girl leaning over the counter giggling at every word he said right now. I moaned in disgust, why couldn’t straight people take a hint? I moved the brunette braid of my own hair to the right side of my body and straightened the pink baseball cap on top of my head. Grabbing the verification email out of my canvas bag I approached the bar.
“I’m Aen’aya, I applied to the position here, you hired me two weeks ago.” I said cautiously, hoping he was indeed the owner.
“Oh! You’re the dalish girl. Well aren’t you cute. You should bring in some customers, everyone like a good exotic elvhen girl.” He talked both friendly and authoritative, but he must have seen the grimace on my face from the last comment because he quickly added that those people were disgusting but might as well take the advantages anywhere you can get them. I nodded in approval at him.
“I mean, I dress like this outside of my career just because it brings people in. Well, I guess that’s a lie, it's also because I look fabulous. Don’t you just love these heels? Don’t you wish you had them?” he added in, showing off the strappy number on his feet.
“Honestly, I’d probably hurt myself wearing those,” I laughed. No way in hell would I wear those on the regular.
“Oh yes, you dalish don’t wear shoes...” he said with a grimace staring at my foot wraps. “Don’t your feet get dirty??”
“Yes, but that’s why we shower everyday, like normal people.” He laughed at my sarcasm and told me I had a bit of spunk.
“Dear Maker, I haven’t even introduced myself yet. My name is Dr. Dorian Pavus. I am a professor of magic principles at Skyhold University and the owner of this fine establishment,” he explained with a slight bow at the end. I found it funny imagining him teaching a class dressed as he currently was. None of his students, or fellow faculty members, would be able to take him seriously. Though I doubt he dressed like that for class. Funny image though.
“SHIT!” A deep voice yelled suddenly. It came from the back room behind the brick wall. It was accompanied with the sound of miscellaneous objects crashing to the floor. Another exasperated yell followed by angry mumbling, and then the mysterious person came out from around the corner. A tanned skin, average sized man, with more feminine facial features and dark black spiked hair with the sides shaved, came stomping towards Dorian. He was wearing a simple pair of jeans, the same grey apron and a navy blue t-shirt with Adidas shoes. Creators, was he attractive.
“I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WOULD CLEAN UP THE BACK YESTERDAY?!” he yelled at him. His body was tense showing all the lines of his large muscles. He was one of those people whose body had resulted this way from hard work- not being at the gym for hours. Somehow that made him all the more attractive. Stop staring at his arms.
Dorian simply shrugged his shoulders, “I did in fact plan on it, Krem, but then there was a sale at Chanel-” The man named Krem jutted his finger into Dorian’s chest and glared.
“You! AGH!” Krem threw his hands up in protest and then proceeded to stomp away into the back. Swearing under his breathe the whole way.
“I swear, it was an honest mistake.” Dorian looked at me guiltily. He went back to making a drink behind the counter for the previous customer.
“Oh I’m sure,” I replied in earnest. More banging and swearing could be heard from the back, followed by an eerie silence from the rest of the shop. Everyone was obviously uncomfortable from the previous “scene”. I shifted my body weight from side to side and glanced around the room awkwardly. I wasn’t exactly sure what to do. After standing in uncomfortable silence for long enough I walked around to the other side of the counter.
“Um, should I be helping him?” I asked quietly.
“I wasn’t ignoring you I swear,” he smiled at me, “I was deciding whether I would begin with the basics today or tomorrow. I suppose tomorrow will do. You will also meet our other employee tomorrow. She doesn’t work on friday and saturday which is why she’s gone, thank the sweet maker.” He finished making the coffee and used his magic to create a foam cat that wandered about the surface of the cup. I stared at it with astonishment. I had never seen someone use their magic for such uses. The clan would have told us it was impractical and a waste of time. It made me excited to see what else the city would offer with magic.
Dorian noticed my wide eyed staring and smiled. “Have you never seen this before?”
“No. Never,” I replied still watching amusedly as the cat as it chased its own tail.
“Well then, you’re going to be in for a treat. I’ll make you one right now! If you don’t mind me asking are you a mage?” He leaned against the counter as he called out the customer’s name looking over me.
“Yes, I am,” I answered, sad to see the kitty go, “but my clan believes such magic is frivolous. That magic should only be used for practical and defensive purposes.”
“I knew the dalish were a bit old-fashioned but that is quite ridiculous,” he replied as he waved his hand to start the bean grinder again. “I’m going to have to teach you how to be frivolous.” He smirked at me before he went back to the machine, filling some kind of container.
“Go head on to the back and help Krem out. I’ll make you a cup when you’re ready for a break. Then, once you’re done come see me and I’ll find other things for you to do.”
“Okay!” I was enthusiastic about work, and the prospect of having a kitten coffee.
“Wait! I almost forgot.” Dorian bent down to rummage through a box underneath the counter. He pulled out some sort of fabric and threw to me. I unfolded the grey material to a smaller sized apron. On the front it said “Herald’s Rest” in forest green thread. I held it with glee and quickly scrambled to put it on.
Despite that though, heavy air still hung from the back room. I hesitantly made my way to the door just left to the menu board behind the counter. From all the banging and crashing Krem had been making, it couldn’t have been good. I walked into a room about the size of a medium office cluttered from top to bottom with stuff. All kinds of stuff, too. Papers littered the table and chair in the middle of the room. Books had been stacked on top of the papers on the table. Threatening to fall over at any given point. Which, by the looks of the pile all over the ground, one stack already had. Pots, pans, cups, silverware and a variety of kitchen ware covered the wooden bookshelves. None were organized and it looked as if someone had just kept throwing the dished into the pots without care. Lined up against the walls were a four brooms, two mops, two buckets and an old coffee machine that looked as if it hadn’t been used in years. All were covered in dust and cobwebs. Including the broken cheap looking chandelier hanging above the table. On the right side of the wall hooks hung various jackets, aprons, shirts and pants. Some, if not most, had tears and holes in them. I suddenly no longer blamed Krem for being angry. This place was filthy, putting it kindly. I found Krem wearing a face mask and on his knees in the back left corner by the exit door scrubbing away at mold. He even had a cute butt. Krem was still muttering to himself, something along the lines of “damn tevinter mages”.
I knocked on the door as not to frighten him before speaking, “Need some help?”
“I’ll take any help I can get. There are some masks by the bucket behind me. Trying to work on ridding the mold before anything else.” I grabbed a mask, a sponge, some bleach and scrubbed away next to him.
He eyed me over, “Your name is Aen’aya?” He had the most beautiful chocolate brown eyes, so different than my crystal teal one’s.
“Yeah, I’m your new coworker until Justinian, then I go home for a few months and come back again towards the end of August. I’m at University if you couldn’t tell… Skyhold! I mean. Um, do you go to Skyhold too? You look college aged. Not too young I mean. Ah- you’re not old either.” I stared at him in mortification. Why am I rambling??? I never ramble around cute guys!
He blinked at me and the burst into laughter. “I’m not going to bite you,” he continued to laugh, “you can calm down a bit.” But I want you to bite me, preferably right where my shoulder meets my neck. And then kiss me, and maybe- Aen'aya! Stop fantasizing about your coworkers!
“To answer your question, no I don’t go to Skyhold. This is just my weekend job. Over the week I work for a freelance construction company called The Chargers. Also enrolled in the Fereldan military. As long as we don’t go to war with Orlais again, I’ll be here.” Hot construction worker. Of course.
“Why do you work at the cafe too if you already have a steady job?” I asked.
“Well, if you haven’t noticed I’m not from here. The people of Haven don’t look kindly on those from Tevinter. Dorian is from Tevinter so...I think, it's mostly to just have a safe place.” He stared at the ground with his brows furrowed for a second before half heartedly smiling at me. Something about him saying safe place finally made it click. Krem was-used to be a woman. I blinked a few times at him as I internally laughed. I somehow always end up liking woman more.
“I am assuming Dorian is gay?” I questioned.
Krem just laughed at me, “No! Not at all, he wears heels for military training.”
I laughed as well, “You never know!”
“I suppose that’s right.”
“And you…? I hope I’m not overstepping boundaries, but are you transgender?” I hoped I hadn’t offended him because he suddenly stopped his scrubbing at the floor. Creators, that was rude wasn’t it!
He straightened his body up and rested the weight on his heels. He stared at my face for a few seconds, obviously trying to read me before sighing out an answer, “Yes.”
“I- I don’t have a problem with that. Creators... Not that you need my acceptance or approval or any of that!” I basically shouted at him in my wide eyed flurry of backtracking. He chuckled shortly at me.
“You’re fine Aen’aya. Was just worried since you’re Dalish, you know? Not all your clans believe the same things. I just wanted to be cautious.”
“Of course!” I hurriedly agreed, “I’m sorry for being so… straightforward. If it helps I’m pansexual!” Wow, okay Aen’aya, just blurting out everything today, huh?
“Two tevinter humans, a dalish elf and a city elf, one is transgender, one is gay, one is lesbian and one is pans. Quite the group we’ve got going.”
“There’s a city elf who works here?” I had never once in my life met a city elf. My mother warned me that they were nothing like us. They had fallen to far away from the Creators, some even worshipped the Maker. I didn’t know if she had been telling the truth at the time, but being in the city, I realized anything could be possible. My father had told me to be cautious around them. Not even the city elves liked us much.
“Sera isn’t in today. She can be a bit much at first, but she’s a sweetheart when you get to know her better. Plus her cookies are to die for. I’d advise you not to tell her that to her face, you’ll wake up with cookie crumbs in your bed for the next week.” His face turned sour.
“Why…? You know, nevermind, I’ll figure it out myself.” What a strange place.
We continued to scrub the floor, walls, tables, and chairs for a good hour and a half. We occasionally talked about high school, parents, where we grew up, that sort of thing. Turns out Krem had it pretty rough. His poor mom couldn’t take the fact that of what he was and he ran. The way he talked about it made it seem like there was more to the story, but I didn’t want to push him any longer after revealing such personal information. When we finally finished sorting through the clothes on the hanger I decided break time was well needed. I invited Krem along but he said he wanted to sort the pots and pans out first.
I walked to the back counter, happy to see the light of day again through the large windows of the front of the shop. I plopped my butt onto a little stool behind the counter with a giant huff. Dorian was leaning against the counter typing away on his smartphone. Constant beeps and boops produced from his phone. He was so immersed he didn’t even notice me, he even started talking selfies. The audacity of some people! Hahaha.
Dorian finally noticed me after a few minutes and chuckled softly, “Tired?”
“Very much so,” I replied as I stretched my limbs out and let my head rest against the cabinets. “Coffee could be good.”
“Could it really?” he asked raising one of his eyebrows. I always wondered how people did that.
“It could. Especially if it has a kitten in it.” I opened my eyes wide, blinked a few times and stuck my lower lip out trying to look both sad and cute.
“I think I can make that work, but only if you stop the sad face. Your elf eyes make that ten times more effective. You must have been an incredibly spoiled child.”
“Little ol’ me? Never." I grinned wildly at him.
Dorian motioned over at the lobby, “There are at least thirty other seats more comfortable than that stool. Go. Sit. I don’t want you dead before the shift ends. All bets are off after though!”
“Fine,” I moaned. Standing up I realized the lobby was mostly empty, there were two people in the study loft, a couple against the wall on a loveseat that were showing way too much pda and a college aged guy in the middle typing away on his laptop. I chose to lounge horizontally hanging my legs off the side of an old blue armchair by the windows while I waited for my coffee.
“Want a sandwich, Aen’aya?” Krem called out re-tying his apron around his waist. Which was way more sexy than it should have been.
“Please! And you can just call Aena. You two have been struggling with that all day.” I didn’t blame them though, most non-dalish had trouble pronouncing it correctly. Our accent wasn’t the easiest to understand at times, either.
“Thank the maker, I thought I was going to butcher your name for the rest of my life,” admitted Dorian with a breathe of relief.
“You have such a way with words,” chimed in Krem sarcastically. I sat there swinging my legs, with my head dramatically hung over the side of the armchair still enraptured by the wolf mural.
“Hey, Dorian. You do know someone wrote a curse word on your floor, right?” I inquired curiously still watching the wolves interact with each other. They were currently sniffing around the woods, searching for something, huh, I wonder what else they do?
He walked over to me with coffee in hand placing it down on the table in front of me. Dorian watched the mural for a moment before speaking, “may the dread wolf take you.” He turned right to me and looked me in the eye, “I am aware.” Something about his expression sent a shiver down my body. It was almost ominous, or maybe I was reading too far into it.
“Who painted it?” I asked still watching the wolves curiously.
“My asshole of a teacher’s assistant.” I could hear Krem snickering in the background.
“Why..?” I trailed off giving him a confused look.
“Because for all his horribly awful qualities, he is incredibly bright and continues to be one of the best students I have come across.” The store wasn’t particularly busy, so Dorian made his way from table to table wiping it down. “Also he grades a lot of my assignments. I have to get something out of it to put up with him.”
“Is he really that bad?”
Krem scoffed at me while walking over to deliver my sandwich, “You have no idea, cockiest son of a bitch I’ve ever met.” How pleasant. I switched my position to sitting cross legged while I slowly took a bit of the sandwich in front of me, hoping my picky ass would like it. It was delicious. I moaned after the second bite, actually moaned, out loud. I could see Krem smirking from the counter as he disappeared into the back room, returning with a broom.
“Krem, never stop making me sandwiches. Ever.” I said it with a fierce seriousness. These sandwiches were to die for.
“For you, of course,” he replied chuckling again. His face lit up so brightly whenever he laughed or smiled. And he had the cutest dimples on his face. Creators, this guy is going to kill me, great smile, hot body, dimples and he can cook. Where do I sign up for the role of girlfriend?
“Speaking of my helper, he’s five minutes late,” Dorian frowned at the clock, “again.” The bells of the door chimed as an incredibly tall elf lazily entered and basically threw his bag on the table closest to the back.
“Dorian, these assignments are shit. Either your students are stupid or your teaching skills are beginning to lack significantly.” His appearance was nothing like I expected. Usually cocky bright kids wore things like sweaters and nice pants, carried around a briefcase to school. This guy was the complete opposite. First of all his head was shaved partially on either side and the rest of his black hair was in long dreads. Dreads. He has some kind of band t-shirt with the name “Nightingales” written in bold red letters across the front of it, ripped black jeans, and an old pair of black converse. He had at least three piercings in each ear and had a full tattoo sleeve on his right arm. The most surprising of all though, was that he was elf. I didn’t think very many elves were enrolled at my school. He plopped down onto one the steel chairs and started pulling paper out of his messenger bag. “You know-” he started to say but stopped dead in his tracks as he stared at me with his beautiful steel grey eyes. What was with all of the hot guys around here? Stared wasn’t the right word, he glared in confusion at me. I wasn’t aware someone could do that but he was somehow accomplishing it nevertheless.
“Who is she?” he asked Dorian slowly and suspiciously. Completely ignoring the fact that I was a person who could be talked to. Dorian just sighed in defeat while mumbling here we go under his breath.
“I’m not deaf and I’m completely capable of talking,” I replied sternly glaring right back at him. The guy (whose name I still didn’t know) ignored me completely and looked back to Dorian. Dorian just shook his head and chose to ignore him in return walking directly to the back room. His expression slowly changed to pure confusion as he finally stopped staring, gathered his stuff and followed Dorian into the back. What the actual fuck was that?
“I don’t know whether to be scared or impressed, he actually acknowledged your presence. That never happens,” Krem said baffled sitting down in the seat across from me.
“What do you mean acknowledged? He completely ignored me!”
“Solas didn’t even look at me the first week I started. I think the third week he asked me where Dorian was…? Or maybe that was the fifth? Regardless he doesn’t acknowledge people.”
“His name is Solas?” I asked incredulously.
Krem furrowed his brow in confusion, “Yes… why is that a bad thing?”
“Not just ironic, it means pride.”
“You have no idea how well that fits him,” he replied. Krem just looked out the window behind me, lost in his thoughts. He must have been reminded of a bad memory because his jaw was clenched.
“No, I guess I don’t.” I stood up and made my way to the back. This child was going to have a piece of my mind.