Chapter 1
“What are you doing?”
“I’m writing.”
“But you already did that yesterday.”
“And I am going to do it tomorrow and the day after that. It’s my job.”
Lexa looks up and sees that the woman is pouting just a little. Big doe eyes look at her like she is waiting for something and Lexa knows exactly what it is, but she doesn’t have the time for it. She has to work.
The pouting stops just as soon as it started. The woman is an actress and a fine one.
Lexa looks at her and wonders why she is here. She is so very young and Lexa is … so very much not. Just this morning when she looked into the mirror she saw a few strands of hair that are not only white, but a shiny kind of silver. She hates it. She is not yet forty, but she can already feel her body change. She sighs and the woman looks up.
“Maybe you can take a small break?”
She smiles and Lexa feels a familiar twist in her stomach. Costia is 23. 15 years younger than Lexa and the writer doesn’t know why on earth she would be appealing to her.
Costia can have whomever she wants.
Of course Lexa knows exactly what it is about Costia that is appealing to her.
God, she is beautiful, but that’s not all there’s to her. She’s smart and funny and when she’s not looking at her with this Lolita look in her eyes she’s actually a woman who knows what she wants.
Lexa should feel blessed and to some extent she does, but there is something missing and she knows it.
“I can’t. I have to finish this.”
Costia gets up.
“You’re no fun today.”
Lexa smiles sadly.
“Well, I guess that means I am my usual self.”
They were introduced at a party by mutual friends a few weeks ago and they hit it off right away. She was shy about at first, because she is so much older, but Costia didn’t care. She told her she wanted her and so she went home with her. Well, they went to Costia’s hotel room, because the woman doesn’t have a home. She’s traveling a lot. Next week she will be on location in Mexico and Lexa will have time to finish her book.
One more week and one red carpet event she promised to attend and things will be back to normal. Lexa likes normal.
“I’m going to leave you alone, okay?”
Costia is right in front of her now, her jacket hanging loosely over her shoulders and she looks like a photograph from the 1920s. Lexa furrows her brows.
“What?”
“Why do you always look like that?”
Costia raises an eyebrow.
“Look like what?”
“Like you just jumped out of a fucking magazine?”
Lexa gets up and grabs Costia’s neck. As soon as her hands touch skin she can hear Costia moan. Lexa leans in and kisses her. She kisses her hard and doesn’t think about consequences or deadlines for a second.
Costia smells like fresh flowers. She always does and Lexa puts her arms around her waist and lifts her up like she is weightless. She feels Costia’s legs wrapping around her waist and starts walking towards the bedroom.
When they reach the bed she lets her down and pushes her backwards. Costia laughs, but Lexa doesn’t. She just looks at her, at her long legs, her perfect curves and her hair that shines like satin.
“Are you just going to stand there?”
She is mocking her, but Lexa doesn’t mind. She knows that in about five minutes times there won’t be much left of Costia’s façade. She knows that she will be out of breath, grinding beneath her, begging her to let her come. Lexa knows exactly what it is Costia wants and she will provide it. She has done so countless times within the last weeks.
“Undress.”
“What? No foreplay?”
Costia grins now, but Lexa’s face remains stoic.
“This is foreplay. Undress!”
The woman looks at her and her expression begins to change. She is a little irritated, but also turned on. She slowly opens the buttons of her shirt, her eyes never leaving Lexa’s who is waiting, watching her. She throws the shirt to the ground, gets rid of her bra and opens her belt and the buttons of her jeans. She leans back down on the bed.
“Do you want to help me?”
She looks at Lexa, her pupils widened and Lexa knows she won’t have to do much to make her come. Costia has been waiting for this.
She leans forward, grabs the legs of the jeans and pulls them off her.
Costia has nice underwear, but Lexa isn’t interested in looking at it for too long.
She puts her index fingers under the seams of the panties and pulls them off too.
There is another moan from Costia who has her eyes closed now. Lexa looks at her.
She is a piece of art, a painting waiting to be done. She is beautiful and Lexa can’t help herself. She wants to touch her. She goes down on her knees and pulls the woman closer.
Her legs are spread and Lexa feels the wetness between them. She kisses the inside of her thighs and slowly moves her mouth to where she knows she will be welcomed most.
Another moan, louder this time. She places her tongue on the woman’s clit and starts licking. Already Costia hips push towards her, but Lexa won’t let her come this easily. She plays with her, calculating exactly which amount of pressure and which frequency will bring Costia to the edge, only to stop in the middle of it. She hears a howl and grins.
When she looks up Costia stares at her and Lexa cocks an eyebrow.
“You really want to come, huh?”
There is heavy breathing and nodding. Lexa grins.
With one fluid motion she gets rid of her t-shirt, loses her pants and underwear and lowers her body onto the woman’s.
As soon as she places her hand on her sex and her fingers start to move she feels Costia’s fingernails digging into the skin on her back. She kisses her and the woman’s tongue frantically claims her mouth. She really wants this badly so Lexa obliges and fucks her.
This is not sweet lovemaking. This is sex. No more, no less.
–---
“You’re sure, you don’t want to come?”
“Oh, I came already.”
Costia looks at her from where she is standing and Lexa can’t help, but grin. She has never been someone who says things like this. She has no idea why she said it right now.
She shakes her head.
“I am sure. I have to work.”
“But you promise you’ll accompany me to this stupid event on Friday?”
“This ‘stupid event’ is the premiere of your movie. You really want to be seen with me?”
Costia closes the last buttons on her shirt.
“Why would I not?”
Lexa reaches for her underwear.
“I don’t know? Fear of typecasting? Questions why you’re with an old woman?”
Costia looks at her.
“First: People know I’m bisexual, so I don’t care. Second: You’re not old.”
“Well, older.”
“So what?”
Lexa puts on her pants.
So what indeed.
“I don’t have to put on a dress though, do I?”
Costia smiles.
“Actually, I might have been able to get you a beautiful new suit by Armani.”
“You did?”
“You do not sound excited.”
“I will be excited when I see and like it.”
“It will be here tomorrow. Don’t wear it while you write. You’ll get ketchup on it.”
Lexa throws a pillow at her.
When Costia is gone Lexa looks into the mirror as if to assess herself. She is reasonable good looking and her body is in shape. When she’s not writing she works out. Well, at least she tries to. Her hair is longish and a light shade of brown, but it seems to have a mind of its own. Her eyes are green with just a sprinkle of blue and brown as if the one who made her couldn’t decide on which color to assign to her.
She has a nice smile, but lately the laugh lines around her eyes started to get deeper and she hasn’t quite come to terms with that. She doesn’t feel one day older than 28, but who is she kidding? In the eyes of twenty-somethings she is old and she feels self-conscious about that.
She sighs. She hates red carpet events. She hates readings too. She feels happiest when she is slouched in front of her computer screen inventing fictional worlds.
On Friday there will be cameras and reporters. Other people might have been thrilled to be invited to one of the most anticipated movie premieres of the year, but Lexa not so much.
But she couldn’t back out. She promised.
She sighs again and goes back to her desk. There are chapters to be written and editors to please.
–---
“Are you ready?”
“No.”
Lexa stares through the window of the limousine and watches the people behind the barriers go nuts over the arrival of the male lead. He’s a nice guy. She met him at a party once. Right now he looks a little overwhelmed and Lexa is right there with him.
Costia smiles at her. She looks gorgeous in her dress that screams “haute couture”, but is not too much over the top. Lexa’s suit is simple and classic. She likes it a lot.
“Let’s do this then.”
Costia nods for the security guard to open the door and Lexa steps out first offering her hand to Costia who smiles and takes it. As soon as she is out in the open the screaming starts. Fans, photographers, journalists, they all want a piece of Costia and Lexa tries to stay out of the way as much as possible. She doesn’t like the game of ‘Look here! No, look here! Smile! Turn, please.’ There are a few questions for her as well though. After all she is a published writer. She’s not J.K. Rowling, but people know her.
At some point Costia takes hold of her hand and intertwines their fingers. Lexa can almost see the headlines being typed. It’s like they magically appear in the air above the respective journalists’ head. She tries to keep smiling. She really wants to go home.
The movie is good, but Lexa didn’t expect anything less. She read the script and it’s perfect for Costia. It gives her the room to explore her character, make it her own. Costia is brilliant at what she does and Lexa sees a bright future for her. She knows a few good actors, but Costia is something else entirely.
When the movie is over and all the applause has faded, Costia takes her hand again and looks at her.
“Thank you for doing this.”
Lexa gives her a warm smile in return.
“I promised I’d be there, didn’t I? What now? After-show party?”
“I guess I have to go for a little while, but we don’t have to stay long if you don’t want to.”
Costia seems insecure all of a sudden. It’s not something Lexa expected on an evening like this. She wonders if she doesn’t want to go to the party of if she’s not sure Lexa wants to.
“I’ll be alright. Maybe I can interest somebody in making a movie out of one of my books.”
She gives her a kiss on the cheek and Costia’s face lights up.
“Let’s go then.”
–---
The party is nothing Lexa is used to. It’s full of important people talking about important things and while Costia mingles with the crowd Lexa gets a drink … or two.
She talks to one of the producers who wants to know if she is interested in selling the rights to one of her books. She says she will think about it and asks him to call her agent.
She doesn’t know if she wants her book to be a movie. She spends so much time getting every word on the page right that the idea of some screenwriter picking it apart and some director with an “artistic vision” watering it down even more doesn’t sound too appealing.
She looks around for Costia and finds her in a deep discussion with her co-star. She walks over and smiles at him as he praises her last book and how Costia knocked her part in the movie out of the park. She sees the way Costia looks at him and she knows she’s tired of listening to him so she gives the nicest apology she can think of and gets them out of there. Costia looks at her like she wants to kiss her right here and now.
Lexa takes her hand and pulls her towards the exit. She makes sure they get their jackets and when they leave, Costia puts her arm around Lexa and positions her head on her shoulder. Lexa doesn’t know how, but she still manages to walk on like that even if it looks awfully uncomfortable. They get to their limousine and the driver holds the door for them. Two minutes into the drive Costia is fast asleep.
“Where to?”
Lexa looks at the driver through the rearview mirror and hesitates. She could bring Costia to her hotel. Lexa would love to sleep alone for once, but she knows Costia would be disappointed, so she gives the driver her address.
When they arrive she almost carries Costia inside. She puts her on the bed and helps her to get rid of her clothes only to provide her with shorts and a t-shirt.
Costia is already snoring in a very adorable way when Lexa comes back from the bathroom. She lies down and sighs.