The Most Dangerous Weapon of All
As the light settled around them, they noticed the walls of them new room had changed. These walls showed a dark storm with grey clouds and heavy rain and piercing lighting. However, if one looked carefully you could see random pockets of sunshine breaking through the storm clouds. They glowed brightly and felt warm and inviting if one let their hand hover over it.
There was a new Alec in the middle of the room. He was hunched over a desk but looked up when Magnus closed the door behind him. Immediately that door’s light dimmed and then vanished.
This Alec wore bags under his eyes like they were fashion accessories. His face was pale and his shoulders drooped like he held up a heavy weight that no one could see. His clothes were black as midnight, black jeans, shirt, and leather jacket.
However, this Alec also had strings around his entire body that held little glowing balls of light. In the dark and dreary room, he was the most dazzling, welcoming sight. His smile alone was bright enough to push away the sounds of rain and thunder, echoing in their ears.
Max walked over to him and Alec rose for his arrival. “Hello, Max.”
He opened his arms and Max fell into them. Max knew that this was only a part of his brother, but he felt whole in his arms.
Still smiling, he addressed the others, “How can I help you?”
Everyone stayed silent.
Alec laughed, “Oh! You’re waiting for me to punish somebody aren’t you?”
Alec tailed his fingers through Max’s hair. Everyone was tense. Alec began to hum and Max sunk further into his brother’s embrace.
The ceiling filled with dancing lights.
Clary walked towards the desk. “Who are you?”
This shimmering Alec smiled. “I am his perseverance, his fighting spirit, his hope. If you look around this room, the walls tell a story. The storm represents the struggles and strife Alec has faced. The slivers of sunlight are moments of happiness and peace.”
Lydia frowned, “It’s not very well proportioned...”
“No, it isn’t…” Alec didn’t sound bitter, merely like he was stating a fact.
The orbs of lights began to dance above them. One took center-stage, expanding to show a memory encased in golden light.
It was toddler Alec resting his head on Maryse’s swollen stomach.
“You’re going to be a wonderful big brother...”
“I am?”
“The best.”
The globe faded and another took its place.
A young Jace walked into the room.
“We’re going to be the best of brothers! We’re going to be parabatai! You know what that means?”
“No, What?”
“We’ll be inseparable! We’ll be unstoppable!”
Alec beamed at him.
“Yeah, we’ll be inseparable...”
A third memory began to form.
Alec held baby Max in his arms.
“You’re going to be the best of us. You’ll get the best traits from us. You are going to such great things. I’m never going to let anyone stop you from reaching your potential, okay? I promise I’ll protect you. You can always come to me, for anything.”
Alec smiled at them, as the lights gracefully fell upon Alec and attached themselves to the lines draped on his body.
“Those lights are your memories?” Magnus asked him.
“The ones filled with hope, yes.”
Alec smiled down at Max, “And the three of you have always been my greatest hopes. Everything I have ever done has been for you guys.”
“Everything?”
“Well,” Alec glanced up at Magnus, “up until a certain point, yes.”
Magnus stared at him, eyes wide with a budding hope of his own.
“I don’t understand.” said Simon. “What does this accomplish? Who faces justice from that?”
Alec tilted his head. “Are you telling me I’m doing my job wrong?” The tone of his voice changed, no longer light and airy.
The balls of light above their heads darkened and lightning split them open and familiar voices spilled out, each drowning out another before anything intelligible was heard. They crashed into each other causing the sound of thunder to reverberate around the entire room.
“You know,” Alec started darkly, the only one unaffected by the storm, “they say hope is the most dangerous weapon of all.”
Flashes of Maryse belittling Alec, of Robert ignoring Alec, of Alec doing things for others only for the very same person to complain or take advantage of him flashed above their heads.
Max, in the eye of the storm, saw the others face the whiplash.
It’s okay. I can do better. I will do better. Next time I’ll make her proud. Next time he’ll notice me. Maybe I’ll do a good enough job to get a thanks next time.
Alec’s voice pierced through them all.
If I try harder, I’ll be good enough. Just need to train harder to be worthy of being his parabatai. I can stop making Izzy sad, I just need to change. I can be a good leader, I can make them listen if I make myself better than I am now.
Izzy had tears running down her face. Jace held Clary’s hand like it was the only thing keeping him upright. Maryse had fallen to her knees.
If I fail, it’s not because they expect too much of me- it’s because I need to do better. I can do better. I can lead this institute the way my parents think I should. I can ignore these feeli-, ignore them and they’ll go away. I can be normal.
The honor is in the deed, not in the name. I can do the necessary deeds to bring us honor. Maybe then she’ll be proud.
I can protect my siblings from everything if I just work HARDER.
Why does he like me? Does he really like me? He must… he does. I can be worthy of his affection. Magnus is so beautiful.. I really like him. I want to make him happy. I can do better. I will do better…
Will you notice me this time? Look what I did for you. Please be good enough…
Train, do better, lead, do better, take care of everyone, do better.
I CAN DO BETTER! I CAN BE GOOD ENOUGH.
I can be better, I can be better, I can be better.
The mantra contained in their heads long after it had ended.
Magnus broke the deafening silence first.
“Oh, Alec… You are more than worthy of my love. I promise you that.”
And like that, the memories went back to their original state and floated down to join the others.
Alec smiled and the room was filled with gentle light.
Simon just stared at Alec, “What the hell? How did you go from terrifying to puppy in like one second?”
Alec shrugged, “I told you hope was the most dangerous weapon. It can tear you down just as easily as it can build you up.”
Maryse and Robert couldn’t look at Alec. Clary, Izzy, and Jace join Max in hugging him. Magnus waited until they were done then kissed his forehead.
The others stayed back.
“Okay Max, time to choose who goes next.” Alec said.
“What?”
“Who chooses the next door, kiddo?”
Max glanced at the others. “Izzy... but I don’t want to go through any more doors.”
Alec kissed the top of his head. “If I could keep you safe here, I would. But I don’t make the rules. I’ve had my say, time for you all to move on.”
Max nodded his head but didn’t lift it from Alex’s chest. He refused to open his eyes and let the others see his tears.
Izzy walked towards the doors, stopped at one, changed her mind and moved on to the next. This door handle had the action rune carved into it. She didn’t look back as she opened it and walked on through.
Magnus gave him one last kiss before leaving as well. Max hugged him extra tight then followed the others until only Jace was left.
His hand hovered over the knob.
“I never kne- I mean I never realized.”
“It’s okay Jace, no one did.”
“Yeah, but I should have… And I’m sorry.”
Jace wasn’t positive but he thought he heard Alec whisper, ‘You’re forgiven’ as he join the rest of the group in the next room.